IAmA writer and performer at RiffTrax.com, and formerly Mystery Science Theater 3000, and my name is Bill Corbett.

No question. Just wanted to say: Thanks.

You are kind to an old hermit. Thank you back.

Is Bonesaw ready?

Ready for HEAVEN. [weeps]

This may seem odd, but your work has gotten me through some powerfully negative times in my life. I wont go into detail but I wouldnt be the same person I am today if it wasnt for you guys.

Thanks for helping me through the more difficult times. You've done more then you realize.

Thank you, friend. Glad to hear it. I'm humbled.

Not odd at all. I've had some difficult times as well, and after a few minutes of MST3K/RT I felt the sorrow slowly vanish.

You've done more then you realize

Can't upvote that enough. Plus one here.

Thanks, that makes my day.

Is it possible for you to watch a movie in a theater like a regular citizen anymore? Or are you always (for lack of a better word) "writing?"

Yes, it is. Though sometimes less possible with everyday events. My wife turned me to me recently and said kindly, but seriously: "Honey, stop riffing breakfast."

Whether at conventions or on the street, what have some of your strangest fan-related experiences been?

I am much more likely to be recognized in context, like at conventions. Otherwise, not so much. And this is right and good in the order of All That Is.

But my single strangest was last year, during relentless snow here in Minneapolis, I saw someone was trying to get his car un-stuck from the snow and decided to help out the two guys pushing it. As we're pushing on it with all our might, getting snow kicked back up in our faces from the wheel, the guy next to me turns and says "Holy crap, you're Bill Corbett from RiffTrax!"

...And then I knew I could ask him for three dollars.

Oh wow, you're still in the metro? Holy crap, you know about /r/twincitiessocial right?

I do now!

Are there any films you've had to make fun of (with Rifftrax or MST3K) that you actually thought were pretty good, or at least entertaining?

Yes! Right off the top of my head: JAWS, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, the LOTR series. And we actually did a "RiffTrax Challenge" where we tried to riff one of the best movies of all time, CASABLANCA. I thought it was pretty successful, all in all.

When we riff a movie we're not necessarily saying "this is a piece of dookie." Many of the movies we riff ARE, of course, and we're not shy about being opinionated. But for others that have some redeeming value, it's more of a comedy roast, as Kevin Murphy has said. We don't always agree among ourselves which have redeeming value however, and that's when it gets interesting and the katanas are drawn.

When I was but a wee lass who watched MST3K every Saturday with my father, I would often day dream that Crow and Tom Servo were new students at my school. I would show them (you?) around, and we always turned out to be the best of friends, wouldn'tcha know? I also truly believed, in my six-year old heart of hearts that I would someday marry Mr. Nelson. This obviously coincided beautifully with my other ambition: to travel to space.

I seem to remember you writing about your daughter's imaginary canine companions a few years back on the RiffTrax blog. Are they still hanging around? Thanks for everything!

I HAD THE SAME DREAM. AT THE SAME TIME. Oh, weird...

Yes, my daughter did go through a time where she had imaginary dogs. She's either outgrown them, or learned to stay silent. And wait. Wait for the right time.

My son's a bit younger, and his obsession is (without a bit of prompting on our part, I swear): ROBOTS.

First of all, proof from the man himself

https://twitter.com/#!/BillCorbett/status/98478654593576960

And second, you've probably answered this in the past, what's your favorite MST3K episode?

No one favorite above all, but among them: SPACE MUTINY, WEREWOLF, MERLIN'S SHOP OF MYSTICAL WONDERS. Also strangely partial to JACK FROST, though I don't think that's a favorite! (Except for Russo-Finnish witches.)

You're one of my favorite people. How do you feel about that?

I feel certain that I can talk you out of that.

(More seriouswise: thank you, that's kind.)

Bill, long time fan. Are you or are you not the one true Rowsdower?

I'm getting there. Man's gotta have a goal! [urp]

Do you ever get nostalgic and smear Clown White all over your face?

Only after Memorial Day. The rest of the year: Clown BLACK.

Do you know Trace Beaulieu at all? How did you feel when you first took over for Crow?

Yes, I do! Trace is a great guy and we've gotten to hang out a bit since he moved back to the Minneapolis area from L.A. We have also done some events together at DragonCon. When I first took over for him I was properly good and scared, because he is awesomely talented.

How do you think Crow changed when you took over - what stayed the same? (thanks for doing this, one of my favorite shows ever)

Hm. Well, not knowing what else to do I started out doing a sorta-imitation of Trace. But little by little it defaulted more back to my voice -- and to Mike and Kevin's credit, they encouraged that.

How the character changed? Not much, I think, but I'm not an objective reporter! I hear from time to time that Crow got angrier, but if true, it might have been a product of the writing evolving too. Or a natural Brooklyn NY wiseass sound to my voice. I dunno. I thought he was always a love-muffin.

I've been thinking about getting vanity plates that say "CROOOOW." If that's okay with you.

Add one more "O" and we'll be fine.

Would you rather never be able to watch a movie outside of the Twilight series ever again, or have all your future interactions with Kevin involve him wearing the sexy santa outfit?

That is a terrible choice you've given me.

Death is not an option? (PLEASE?)

Me and my dad really connected over MST3K when I was little. Thank you.

Hooray!

When you do Rifftrax, are you being yourself, or are you still kind of doing the puppet character?

I don't know anymore! [HELP ME.]

More serious answer: Crow wound up being a heightened version of my own voice, and I think that's often true for Rifftrax performing too

how did you guys find out about the nugget of cinematic gold known as "santa claus and the icecream bunny"?

We did a bad thing, a very bad thing, and it was our court-ordered punishment.

...Trying to remember who first found it. I think it was Conor Lastowka, one of our Rifftrax writers. As I recall, we weren't sure it could be used at first, being as cracked as it is. But eventually we were all glad we did.

How about Birdemic: Shock and Terror?

We'd been hearing about that one as soon as it was made. Like, the first person who ever saw it came to us and said: "You MUST check this movie out." It really is a seeing-is-believing flick, especially the jpeg birdies.

Hey Bill. Thanks for all the work you, Kevin, and Michael have done for Rifftrax, and for doing an AMA! Just two questions for you:

How much prep goes into a full riff?

Do you guys have any plans to do a Rifftrax subscription? I'd love to pay a few bucks a month to get access to the whole library of content.

Thanks again!

edit: turned a ? into a !

Thanks for the kind words! Much appreciated. We do a fair amount of writing for a full riff. That's where the really hard slog is -- line by line, joke by joke. And we try to be pretty detailed, just like at MST3K. But once we are recording, it's mostly fun. And beer. Beer-fun.

As for subscription -- that has been in the works for a while, and was overtaken by some other stuff for a while on the to-do list (notably, developing a Rifftrax player). But we're still planning to do it.

Where is the one place you've always wanted to go, but haven't? Also thanks for all the great years of entertainment!

You're welcome! I'd love to go to Japan. To eat sushi, and get vending machine panties.

Any chance of a collaborative effort with RedLetterMedia?

Nothing in the works at present, but one never knows.

("One" = ME. I never know. Anything, ever.)

Bill, is it safe to cash this check, or should I wait till Monday? I mean, it's not a hassle or anything... I'm not broke, I don't need the money right away, It's just that my wife has been asking me... Lord knows how she even heard about all this... and she's going to her sisters this weekend and wants to completely balance the checkbook.

I know it's only $15, so I feel silly even bringing this up now, just forget I asked.

It is NOT SAFE. You will be thrown in irons if you even try to cash my check.

I apologize, but fair warning. Oh, and I stole your car. Again, sorry.

How come Kevin gets to sing all the time and not you?

I sing occasionally, as does Mike. And we're OK. But Kevin is a GREAT singer, so we often give him the singin' stuff. And the fart-noise-makin' stuff.

Are you guys planning to continue Rifftrax Live? I think it's a fantastic event each time, and I look forward to it as soon as the most recent one is over.

There's one on August 17th.

http://www.fathomevents.com/originals/event/rifftrax_giantkiller.aspx?utm_source=Rifftrax.com&utm_medium=RifftraxTacticCampaign&utm_campaign=JTGK_FathomPage_PublicTicketing

Thank you for the pimp-assist!

Thanks, we love doing them. And see our friend's reply below...

If you could go back in time and place yourself into one historical event in such a way as to not actually significantly affect the outcome, but still get into the history books as being associated with it, what event would it be?

I would photobomb Nixon's "Checkers" speech.

I just wanted to let you know that I almost choked following the "will you carry me?" line from "The Final Sacrifice." Had I actually died, would you have attended my funeral?

Yes. And riffed it, as you would have wanted. sniff!

Bill Corbett, you fill up my senses like a walk in the god damned forest. Your reply has made my day. May Bonesaw watch over and protect you.

"May Bonesaw watch over and protect you."

He is, my friend. Protecting ALL of us. He is.

I think the movies you pick are great, but I was wondering if you would consider more classic movies. I watched Frankenstein last night and I couldn't keep riffs from jumping into my head. In addition to watching "good" movies, you would help bring these movies to people who might never get around to them otherwise. Basically, Casablanca was a good start, but I want more!

That is an excellent idea. I like it. LIKE IT.

We've learned over the first few years of RiffTrax that we're somewhat constrained in the types of movies we can do -- we did some great 80s movies that just didn't sell well. The movies that do sell well: 1) for MP3, the huge blockbusters that people own or have easy access to 2) video on demand stuff that is public domain -- or that we can buy -- and put the audio and movie together. Stuff that's not either of the above often falls through the cracks, and not enough people buy it to keep us going. HOWEVER -- we do like to keep flexible even given that, and a little experiment with what you said might be well worth it.

Fffffffriend, by the way.

Is your job as fun as it looks?

Yes, I am lucky.

Except when I have to see Kevin in a dress, then I am the unluckiest person in the world.

What movie that's out in theaters now would you most like to riff?

Maybe a few weeks old, but... THOR. (Anthony Hopkins as ODIN = thank you for the assist, Hollywood!)

Drink every time Anthony Hopkins growls like a bear in this movie. You will be wasted.

Sounds like a perfect night to me.

you guys rock, but I have to admit the rifftax website looks like its stuck in the nineties. It's a pain to look through and see everything that is offered.

RiffTrax Web Guy here. I totally feel you, in fact I'm working on a major redesign and upgrade as we speak, to bring it into at least the aughts.

Erik, you're fired.

...and re-hired! Were you SCARED STRAIGHT?

Will we ever see a Cinematic Titanic/RiffTrax collaboration/confrontation?

I'd never say never, but we both kind of have our own thing now. And there are already more than enough funny people in each.

I'd consider a dance-off / arm wrestle competition with Mary Jo for $$$ though, if anyone wants to bankroll it.

I've got $10 on Mary Jo.

Me too.

How do you overcome writer’s block? Do you ever get stumped while attempting to Riff a film?

Not to be overly serious, but -- to me, what's called writer's block is just part of the work. Sometimes it flows easier than other times, but you just keep going. And know that you can revise. My best way to beat it is to keep writing even when I know it's not ingenious, and sometimes put a clock on it: i.e., i'm gonna write for a half-hour nonstop, good or bad. Then I'll assess from there.

Advice! Everyone loves giving it!

Advice! This gal was seeking it! Thank you kindly, Bill!

You are most welcome. Best of luck!

(P.S. Oh, and seek out everything Neil Gaiman has ever said about writing. He is most wise in that area, and immensely practical.)

After five years of Rifftrax, would you ever consider doing MST3K again if a company made the offer? Also, has anyone tried to hassle you guys about copyrights and such, despite your clever workaround?

And thank you for everything. I started watching MST when I was 8, and I owe you guys my entire life. My wife loves me because she thinks I'm clever and funny; really I just have ten seasons of MST quotes memorized. Please don't tell her.

I'd have mixed feelings about doing MST3K again. The conditions would have to be right, or I fear it might seem like a cheap retread. It's such a great show, and would deserve better. And we've gotten pretty happy doing RiffTrax. So -- not sure.

Nobody has seriously tried to hassle us about copyright, though a few misunderstood and threatened to sue at first [COUGHCOUGHTommy WiseauCOUGHCOUGH]. But there's really no case to be made.

And thank YOU.

I love you, Bill. You guys have brought so much joy into my life with your antics. Ya got me though some tough times.

I love you too, um... Turdworm.

More seriouswise, I am very glad life is better for you and could not be happier that we've brought you a little joy. For you -- you, Turdworm! -- you deserve joy.

Do you have nightmares/flashbacks about being the "Observer in Gold Boots" and the tiny gold bikini?

I do. Oh, I do. And yet I know in my heart of hearts that I CAUSED far more nightmares. Mea culpa, world.

Do you get tired of just being known for all the riffing you do? Any hobbies people should know about?

Hobbies, yes. But none civilized people should ever, EVER know about it.

[Hint: involves crustaceans, ninja throwing stars, and an 8 by 10 glossy of Tom Brokaw.]

Having watched Santa and Ice Cream Bunny/Thumbelina/Pirates World promo just last night I'd like to ask how many times do you usually watch a film or short?

I am glad you survived a bit of the madness that is Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. Please ladies and gentlemen, do not go into that movie without our assistance!

I'd say the times we watch a film or short hovers at about five-six times, but we have to go over sometimes individual moments roughly 7000 X to find something funny. Yes, we have created our own punishment!

Are you currently working on any new plays? I really enjoyed Hate Mail as well as The Big Slam (Haven't read/seen The Stuff of Dreams yet)!

How has writing for riffs and relatively short sketches in the Rifftrax set pieces changed the way you write longer form fiction, if it has at all?

Regarding Rifftrax in general, are Conor Lastowka or Mike "Beard Guy" Thomason going to make appearances in the booth outside of Disembaudio and the calendar short?

Thank you very much. I enjoy your work and all of the Rifftrax's writer's work.

Wow, someone who knows my theater-nerd life! You are rare. And probably gay.

Great writing question. Not sure if I have an answer except that good sketch or joke writing is as demanding as anything else I've ever done, and it's made me appreciate economy, brevity, and general don't-take-too-long-to-get-the-point-ness.

Not sure if Conor or Sean will make any more appearances. They appear to me sometime when I'm not ready, in apparition form. Nice guys, talented guys, but creepy!

Thanks for acknowledging the other writers. (They are invaluable. But creepy!)

What's your most embaressing moment ever?

This could turn out to be it. Stay tuned!

Hi Bill! Are the Live shows huge stresses to prepare for, or are they really fun to do (or both, I guess)?

And also, is corn grass?

They are work, but they're mostly fun. The FIRST one (Plan 9) was a tad stressful, not knowing what to expect. We've learned how to do 'em now.

Corn IS a type of grass. Tell it on the mountain! The mountain, which has grass, which is not necessarily a type of corn, though the reverse might be true! Put on your fancy headdress and TELL THE WORLD!

I was going to ask you something, but then I realized I already got a response at Comic Con... I'm Sorry

Dammit! This whole thread is ruined.

Lately, I've been putting on a riff when I go to sleep. Like a lullaby. What do you do to help you fall asleep?

A tape loop of Tommy Wiseau saying "You are tearing me apaaarrhhtt!"

...Makes me feel like a newborn babe again.

No questions. I just wanted to make you aware that I can hear your voice in your answers; it's quite distinct.

I am beaming it directly into your mind, so that helps too.

[deleted]

Another Reb Brown movie?! Be still my heart. The return of Blast Hardcheese!!

How much are you on Reddit?

Not much until recently, but liking it more and more.

Thanks for the opportunity to ask you questions!

Disappointingly, I don't have any from the top of my head... Other than you mentioned you taught. What did you taught and what grade?

Thanks for the laughs and fun over the years. Continue to be awesome, sir!

Thanks you for the kind words. I taught for a semester at Kenyon College as a visiting professor, but never got serious about academia. Done a lot of guest residency teaching gigs at colleges and high schools. None anytime recently, though. I'd have to invest in some serious tweed to get back into that game.

I got to see you and Trace read "My Monster" at Dragon*Con last year, which was a highlight of the con for me. Got any other writings/skits/things-not-RiffTrax in the works?

(Also, if you're not confirmed, you should totally come to Dragon*Con again. You know we've stolen all the booze in the south for this event alone! And it's the south! That's a lot of booze!)

I will be back at Con de los Dragon this year! (Just announced yesterday I think.)

Yeah, reading MY MONSTER with Trace was a blast. I wrote that with writer / actor Joseph Scrimshaw, who also produced and starred in a comic book-based Christmas play I wrote last year. Currently seeing who else might be interested in that. Also working on a new screenplay. And an epic poem about dung beetles. (One of those may not be true, even if it should be.)

What else have you written for?

Written a lot of plays, sketch comedy (which is mostly what I was doing before MST3K), screenplays (optioned but not made), some journalism / essays, and a rather terrible Hollywood movie starring Eddie Murphy.

you guys should RiffTrax Meet Dave

I'd love to do that in theory. Our educated guess is that no one would buy it. Also: tough to riff comedy, even failed comedy.

Bill, you are amazing. Thanks for all the laughs and especially making the Twilight series bearable.

I grew up watching MST3k, and as a child would not get most of the people references. Now that I'm grown up, I still don't get them. Do you worry about your references being set in pop culture and therefore dated?

Thank you! As for pop culture refs -- you're right. They get dated very very fast. You can't and shouldn't avoid them completely, but the more you rely on them, the greater chance you take that it'll be lost to time. On the other hand, we have a LOT of jokes / riffs per movie. So we don't sweat it too much if not everybody gets every single reference. We also do (and always have done) references that are dated in real time, too -- like refs to the 1930s, pre-dated! One size doesn't fit all.

Would like to, first of all, thank you for all the quotes you've given me that I've thrown out in groups of friends, even if they don't catch the reference, it's provided me with much amusement.

Do you think there will ever be a show in a similar format that will break through to the mainstream or do you believe, as I do, that you set the bar too high for anyone to even attempt it? I find that if there isn't an MST3K connection, that it's a cheap knock off of anything you guys did. Are there any comedy groups that we should be keeping our eyes out for?

Great questions. I think MST3K was brilliant, and everyone involved was unusually funny and talented. It also benefitted from other factor -- good timing in the world of cable; a filming location where the show wasn't bothered as much by the studios, maybe, so could get a little more idiosyncratic. As to what's coming up like that -- not sure, but I think it will probably find its way to you differently. Online, not TV. Or some combination.

[Bear in mind, I know NOTHING.]

ROLL FIZZLEBEEF.

BIG McLARGEHUGE.

Agreed!

What is your favorite John Daker moment?

P.S. In the unlikely event that you any of you online-savvy people haven't seen John Daker: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi8beYR1iBQ

The moment when I watch it 370 times straight and still laugh myself silly over it. THAT one.

Bill, I love Rifftrax and MST3K. What has been your favorite episode of each and what line drove it home for you?

Answered that for MST3K upthread. For Rifftrax, it's hard to beat the Twilight movies as fodder since they take themselves so seriously, and are ultimately so dopey. I also love the older ones in public domain like PLAN 9, DINOSAUR PLANET, and our short films. And I do love our riff of "300." ...if for no other line then "THIS IS SPARTof a balanced breakfast!"

Will you guys promise to be at every w00tstock ever?

Please???

Yes! If not onstage, then certainly up in the rafters, my face half-hidden by a mask, ready to MURDER those who wouldn't let me back in the spotlight!

That is in no way a pre-confession, so chillax FBI.

Hey Bill, where do you guys find all the shorts you riff on? Is there some sort of really-bad-short-film graveyard you sift through?

Combination of places. There's a site called archive.org where we get some public domain stuff. But we also buy collections and sift through 'em. Lots o' dust!

Hey Bill! Can you describe the process of making a rifftrax? Are some jokes improvised and some written beforehand?

Almost all written in the end, but some of it from improv-ed lines in the writing room.

Hey Bill. First, thanks for doing what you do. Between MST3K, Rifftrax and just being yourself Twitter, you manage to make me smile every day; I can't tell you much I sometimes need those smiles.

Enough soppy nonsense, the question! Which, if any, of the pre-you MST movies (that are not MANOS) do you wish you could go back and destroy in your own particular way?

Thank you thank you thank you. That makes MY day.

I have always wanted to riff a 70s movie called BILLY JACK, because I loved it as a shallow young man. I want revenge on my young self! Which is sick!!

I know rarely from time there are some inside jokes or references, any favorites?

Thanks for being awesome, and you are definitely in my top two favorite Crow T. Robot performers.

Thanks, I'm not there with you on the "top two" thing yet, but I might be convinced someday.

As for inside jokes -- not so many that somewhere, someone who wasn't us wouldn't know what we're talking about. But I do remember there was one in (I THINK) Agent for H.A.R.M. where we simply said of an actor "Hey, it's Patrick!" referring to our art director / 2nd voice of Gypsy Patrick Brantseg. Then I think we decided to pull back on those a tad -- if it was only inside baseball, then maybe not. That said, we have some running jokes in RiffTrax that some people like, and drives others (including some of us) a little crazy. I.E. SCNAPPI.

What is Joe Scrimshaw like in real life?

Joseph Scrimshaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life. He is not at all a brainwashed and programmed assassin. Why would you accuse him of that?!

...heh. Joseph is a great guy and a pal, as funny and creative as anyone I've ever met.