I just went 96 hours without heroin for the first time in five years. AMA.
(Throw away account, of course.)
Today marks the longest period of time I've gone without it since I started. Four years of snorting and smoking. I never fixed, not once. I don't like needles and never particularly wanted AIDS. Even at my lowest point, the idea of fixing skeeved me out.
I had the help of Prince Valium for the first couple days. That helped me sleep and maintain a bit of my sanity.
The worst part, the part I was dreading most, rather, were the super intense muscle aches. It hurts down to your bones and makes you grit your teeth until you feel like they're coming loose.
But those have since passed. My nose is still a little runny and I'm shitting like a fire hose. So basically it feels like I'm getting over a bout with the flu. I never puked or itched, two nasty things I was expecting.
I'm a little depressed. Nothing very serious. I went out today for the first time since Wednesday. I forgot how much more laborious everything is without smack, everything requires so much deliberation and patience. This is absolutely not an endorsement, but that's the one good thing about the shit: it makes you incredibly passive to life's minutiae.
I find that I have to pump myself to do small things. Yesterday, I watched an hour of a movie I hated because I didn't want to get up and look for the remote.
I've "tried" a few times in the past to kick smack. And, yes, those quotation marks imply sarcasm. Those attempts were ill-fated from the get-go.
Anyways, if you're curious or you're looking to kick it, ask me anything and I'll be as forthcoming as I can be.
EDIT: Someone just sent me an anonymous subscription to Reddit gold. It's sort of hard to find words to how much that means to me. To know someone else is looking out for me even though I'm just a faceless username to them. That's big. Reddit is good people.
EDIT 2: Check out straightedgefred's original song about me here. I cried when I listened to the first time. Huge happy tears.