We are ClickHole. Ask Us Anything.

Sometimes I leave comments on your Facebook and/or Instagram posts that are very well received and get many likes, does this impress you?

Yes, very much so. Thank you for your work and please keep it up.

Why does the "Ah, Fuck: These Waterfalls Are 100 Percent Beef" post make me laugh every time?

Truly baffling why people like that one so much. - SE

It sounds like what happened here is we went and got you real good. -JGre

Have you ever got in legal troubles with people who believed something written on the website?

The model in the stock photo we initially used for "Coolest Mom Ever? This Woman Is 19" thought we were defaming her, even though the stock photo rights allow us to use it. We are nice so we switched the photo to one our editorial coordinator Jessye, who was a real sport about it. Thanks, Jessye! -Matt

How do you maintain such a uniform tone and voice across the whole site? It seems like every article I read, or even video, is written by the same insane person.

Nailing the “Clickhole voice” is one of the most important parts of writing content for the website. Though there is a lot of room for interpretation, playing with format, and writing in specific, delightfully weird character voices, you are correct in noticing that we do have a certain way of delivering information! It comes from years of careful development from the site’s founders, who created a unique spin on the enthusiastic, urgent voice that they observed in clickbait articles and various media across the internet. New writers (like myself) are trained to use this voice by carefully working with more experienced staff as we write drafts! - Julie

I suspected more of an electro-shock punishment approach.

I decline to comment on the use of Pavlovian techniques to train Clickhole writing fellows. -Julie

Who is The Sponge, and why do I love him so much?

This is the sponge. And yes, you love him very much which is great. https://lifestyle.clickhole.com/it-s-the-sponge-you-love-the-sponge-1825121537

How do you explain your job to family members at thanksgiving?

In my experience, I ask my aunt/uncle/cousin if they know what The Onion is, and if they say yes, I describe that ClickHole is kind of like that but for internet culture. If they say no, I just say I write for a website. I never describe my job to my grandparents. -CG

Was the choir for "Christ Cometh to my house" a choir you hired or was that just staff? How did no one crack up?

We have some great singers at the office, but we did hire that particular choir. One of our friends arranged the sheet music after the song was written, and the choir learned the song during their rehearsals. They came very prepared. -WF

I am a choir director and half of my singers (and myself) are still obsessed with Christ Cometh to my House - and we really want to record and post a cover. Would ClickHole consent to that, and if so, could you DM me the sheet music? I love you and thank you for the content.

That sounds great! We'll dig up that sheet music and send it over to you. -AL

Would you say you have any specific inspirations for your seemingly surrealist clickventures?

Honestly, the turnaround on Clickventures is so intense (a writer gets two weeks to write 100-200 pages and find all the art) that there’s not really any time to contemplate or seek out inspiration. We’re mostly just scrambling to write as many jokes as we can and get the dang things finished. Everyone’s got their own unique process, though. - SE

Huh, didn't realize you guys are so strapped for time on them.

Good job on making them as entertaining as they are!

Is there like a certain requirement to take on that load, or is it just whoever wants to do it?

Clickventures are optional. Some people like writing them, some people don’t. They require a lot of additional chores, like connecting slides and selecting images, so you have to be willing to do that in addition to the actual writing. - AB

Can you give any credence to or explanation of this insane easter egg?

Never noticed this before...well played.

How did you get Conan for the 'Woman tells husband she's pregnant while Conan O'Brien pours fresh milk down the sink' video?

I like to think that Conan approached them, as a fan. It's also possible that they accidentally walked in on him while he was pouring good milk down the drain.

Yes. We walked in on him, and he was wonderful.

Hello we are done answering questions it's time for us to go home. Thanks everybody! We had a lot of fun. Please follow us on here and check out clickhole.com.

Why are the lines at my local Krispy Kreme so long?

You are a rube:

https://news.clickhole.com/disappointing-krispy-kreme-has-been-revealed-as-a-hoax-1825121363

Can I please have some of your treasure?

No.

Whats at the bottom of the click hole?

You seem to have misunderstood. ClickHole is a website, not a regular hole. In some ways that makes ClickHole very good. Thank you

Hi clickhole, I always wanted to ask you. How do you feel about people calling you "fake news"?

We don’t view ourselves as fake news because we are not trying to fool people. In fact, we kill a lot of ideas because they sound too plausible. If you believe one of our articles, you have fallen for something that a room full of people have carefully deliberated on and decided is obviously fake.

How does someone get hired to work at Clickhole?

It depends on the person. For the editorial team, the main way that we look for new staffers is through the writing fellowship, which is a 6-month long contract writing position. Of the people currently at ClickHole, some came from the fellowship, some came from editorial apprenticeships (which are contract positions as well), and some came from contributor positions for ClickHole or for the Onion. For folks on the art team or on the video team, they’re hired through those departments and then are gracious enough to bring ClickHole ideas to life.
-SM

Do you ever come up with ideas for an article and end up deciding it would be better suited for the onion? What's the process like for deciding which of your sites to post something on?

The Onion and ClickHole are two separate writing staffs, so for the most part we’re exclusively coming up with ClickHole ideas. But sometimes people pitch rejected ClickHole headlines to The Onion and The Onion ends up using them. And sometimes rejected Onion headlines get repurposed for ClickHole. - SE

how do you beat clickhole.com

Please do not beat us.

which is your favorite clickventure? and when will you be making more that include beautiful music?

My favorite Clickventure is ‘Welcome To Westworld! Can You Retrieve Your Wedding Ring From The Robot Prostitute You Lost It In?’ It is very fun and good and also the most recent Clickventure. We don’t have any Clickventures that include beautiful music coming up, but we’ll keep it in mind. -JJo

the music is mr circle goes to shape city is a masterpiece and completely changed my life by finally getting me to get out and exercise while listening to it.

also a quick plug for /r/clickventures, a definitely very real sub that makes a lot of sense to have since there is a lot that can be talked about

That is beautiful to hear. JJo

I've read probably 90% of all the articles you've made, and some always stand out as being absolutely wild, the bart simpson (rude) video comes to mind as the most recent one; is there a specific writer that makes the weirdest articles like that one or do you all have it in you? And what is the basic creative process for coming up with these types of articles or videos?

Every writer has their own voice that is unique and hilarious and that makes them fit to write at Clickhole! Some people do prefer to pitch more insane scenes or mind-bending concepts like the (rude) video, while others pitch more observational headlines, but I’d say by more often than not we all pitch a little of both. We also frequently collaborate on headlines in the writers room--that’s often where we get our best ideas, when we’re all working together. As for a creative process -- again, there’s as many ways to come up with a Clickhole headline idea as there are different kinds of writers and comedians, but it’s always helpful for us to look at what’s actually happening on the internet : types of articles that we love, or that we hate, or that are going viral, and build a surprising twist on that! And then other times an insane idea about the joke of Bart Simpson just pops into your head.

Who is Ormul and where did you find him?

I came up with the general idea for the character first and then spent a long, long time clicking through ThinkStock looking for the perfect face to go with it. - SE

Where do you get the actors for your videos?

Where do you get the actors for your videos?

We work with the fantastic casting department at The Onion to cast local Chicago actors that fit the roles. And when we can, we use friends and people from the office. Or ourselves. -WF

What about celebrities, like Win Butler and George Saunders? Do they typically approach you?

Yeah, sometimes we have to turn them away! The line is out the door! So many celebs!

How often do you guys browse Reddit?

I only browse the Survivor subreddit. -CG

What are your thoughts on The Amanda Kimmel of Survivor: China, Survivor: Micronesia - Fans vs. Favorites, and Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains fame?

Amanda Kimmel deserved to win China, deserved to lose Fans vs. Favorites, should never have given back the clue to the Hidden Immunity idol after fighting over it with Danielle in HvV.

Is your treasure for sale?

Our treasure is not for sale. We love our treasure.

Is your treasure for sale?

ClickHole's treasure will never be for sale. JJo

What does the name "Jeff Probst" mean to you?

Jeff Probst is the ageless host of the TV reality show Survivor and he is a wonderful man.

What is your favorite art that has been used on ClickHole so far? Mine is either the meat waterfall or the beanie baby with the spiders coming out of it.

I like the really long rambling sentence on the Hollywood sign in the article "Landmark Win: LA Is Finally Restoring The Hollywood Sign To Its Original Sentence". It looks so real. - SE

-personally, I like the skinny Bryan Cranston - JGre

-I like the square man who lives in the ocean - JJo

-I love the Presidential Sauna Portrait because it is a real painting that one of our graphic artists made and it hangs in our writers room now -NP

-I’m wild about this cover art for Stephen King’s book about a skeleton -AL

-Gremblance - CG

-What Prince would look like today -JMc

-This man in huge pants -SM

When will Doug Baxer run for president?

No official statements on a 2020 candidacy yet, but feel free to tweet at him or his gorgeous son Eggbert to let them know you have his support!

If I had to choose a lizard, which one and why?

If I had to choose a lizard, which one and why?

A big one. -DD

What’s your favorite article that came true?

https://clickventures.clickhole.com/you-are-the-cannibal-lobster-man-of-new-england-can-yo-1825124364

Is Guzmer still on staff?

https://imgur.com/a/lRgprpe

How are you today?

How are you today?

You know what? Not bad. -Matt

Am I correct in the assumption that someone at Clickhole bought a Predator suit and the writers have been trying to get as much milage out of it as possible?

Incorrect. The idea to do a video featuring the Predator came first, and the costume was rented afterwards (we had to return it, those costumes cost so much money).

Where can I apply?

Check this website regularly to see if there are any openings at Clickhole, The Onion, or any of the other sites under the FMG umbrella. We typically post about a writing fellowship every six months! -JG

How many of you love the sponge?

All of us love the sponge.

When does Guzmer get his own talk show?

When does Guzmer get his own talk show?

So Guzmer sadly is a little worse for wear after he threw up on himself in that video. Maybe one day his condition will improve and he will make a triumphant return. For now, he is resting in our writers room.

How long does it take to make a clickventure? They are easily my favorite addition to the site.

When a writer takes a Clickventure, they have two weeks to write everything and find all the images. - SE

Thank you! Usually a clickventure takes a person about two weeks to finish.

Clickhole, thank you for doing this! It's a bit weird to see you respond with some serious replies, but interesting.

My question is, do editors "assign" stories to writers, or do the writers and editors just go back and forth with wacky ideas until something sounds funny and insane enough to go with?

We have headline meetings every morning where we all pitch a bunch of ideas and then decide as a group which ones we want to build out. Once we have our list of headlines, writers pick the ones they want to write and then go from there. - SE

What do you think of fallout 76?

We are thrilled about all video games.

Hello, everyone! Your monthly shows wash away my sins, like when I ate only alphabet soup for a whole week. When is the new Toyter Fábel coming out?

Thank you for coming to our live show. And for everyone who lives in Chicago who doesn't know about this already, we do a live show once a month at The Hideout. It's always a new show, so there may be more Toyter Fabèls down the line. -NP

Will there be more eye-witness history videos? They are really really funny and well done

Thanks! Maybe! At least some stuff in that vein. - WF

When is "Chronotaur: Labyrinth of Time" coming out? Is the sequel already in production?

An in-depth analysis of ‘Chronotaur 3: Hoof Of History’ should be arriving soon.

Who are the subjects in the photos you use? Are they stock images, or do you take them of your staff acting out the scene? They really make the articles sometimes!

We do use a lot of people in the office for the photos! When a photo requires more than a photo shoot or we have cycled through everyone and need some fresh faces we rely on stock photography. In the event that a photo of something doesn’t exists, like waterfalls made of beef, our art department will make the images using photoshop. -NA

Matt, Noah, Will: What is your favorite Clickhole video?

This one. And also this recent one. And many many many more. Might come back to this. -Will

How do you guys make the short videos? Like do you gather the nonsensical photos first and then begin the narrative?

For those short videos, the words (and their corresponding images) get written first, and then we add music over them. Sometimes the ideas for the words/images come from jokes that didn’t quite work out as headlines, but are fun to build out over the course of several slides. Someone once described those short videos as “internet poems,” and I think that’s a good description.

Will you be adding micro-transactions to Clickventures?

Not for Clickventures, but if you're desperate to give us money, you can send us Bitcoins at this link: https://www.clickhole.com/cyber-gold-understand-cryptocurrency-with-clickhole-s-1825844716

On the 9th of April 2016, at Humor Con in Princeton NJ, a member of your staff performed some music with lyrics he made from software. One song had the line "I had a good time with you, I had a good time in my head" and it was incredible. Who was he? Does he have an album out yet? Can he release an album soon?

That was almost certainly our former head writer, Jamie Brew. He left to go become a millionaire in A.I. by forming a great company called Botnik.

https://twitter.com/jamieabrew https://twitter.com/botnikstudios

I'm thinking of moving to Pittsburgh. Is there anyone on your team that could sell me on the city?

Yes. We think that Pittsburgh is the best city and are being totally sincere. If you’re thinking “it would be awesome live in a city with art, great food, more bridges than any other city outside of Venice, Italy and an awesome accent that is totally affordable to live in” then you are ready to move to Pittsburgh. Also, the people are all very kind and honest. Two of them work for ClickHole now. Honestly, not sure why we are not there right now. Move to Pittsburgh! -NA + SM

How much harder/easier has it gotten to write articles since Trump got elected?

It’s harder to write about the news with Trump as president, because we can’t just treat him like a normal president. We could write articles about Obama like this one (https://news.clickhole.com/security-failure-president-obama-has-been-sitting-alon-1825121792), but that doesn’t work as well when the man in office is the nightmare that Trump is. Also, it’s also hard to hit Trump in substantive and interesting ways that aren’t just calling him President Cheeto or talking about his hands or something. PatriotHole and ResistanceHole are helpful, because they give us more nuanced ways of writing about politics by letting us comment on the insane logic that both the right and left use when talking about Trump.