IamA white guy who was a Bollywood actor for 5 years, here 'cos a film I did 10 years ago is finally coming out, AMA!

How much were you paid to be in the film?

That film, like many of the others I did, was paid at a day rate. Some would only pay for days on set, others you'd try to negotiate to be paid even if you're sitting at the hotel (cos they're shooting other scenes). My day rate (if I remember correctly) was 5000rs per day, which is £57 GBP or $80 USD. And they paid my hospital bill when I got what I think was malaria, so... perks?

Nice username, btw

Dhanyavad.

How many brapples is this?

Fifteen in a fairly good brapple season.

This is such a fun AMA. Can I ask why Bollywood movies get shelved for so long? I don't think I've every heard anything like that happening in Hollywood.

Also -- I too am interested in the subject of good Bollywood/Indian films that wouldn't be too confusing for a white American viewer. I see you suggested Being Cyrus and Mumbai Something, but if you provided a list of quality Bollywood movies (even if they're a little esoteric to me) I honestly wouldn't mind binge watching them one weekend. I'll have to check out Beyond Bollywood too!

Haha cheers for that!

Why they get shelved: Bollywood is a huge industry and it's never clear where the money is coming from. There are a few big production houses, and many, many small ones. A lot of gangster money makes its way into films as a laundering thing, and a lot of wealthy billionaires greenglight their own films, probably mainly for the cache and the recognition and also in part for the casting couch aspect. Basically, there's a lot of corruption (not saying this for my film, the producer George Matthew seems a straight-up guy, albeit a businessman-turned-producer).

What this means is that the profit motive for releasing a film isn't always quite there. Like if you've already washed your money by making the film, why bother go through the difficulty of distribution which is an added cost, and one that's difficult to corrupt, for a film that may be a bust?

For non-dirty-money films, it's just hard. Every step of the way has costs associated with it, and the multiplex cinemas also hold so much sway. Where towns used to have five different cinemas playing five different films, there was space in the market for more fringe or less-blockbustery films to turn a profit. Multiplexes prefer to only go for huge blockbuster films, because they're typically rolling the same film out at every location over multiple screens. Dealing piecemeal with smaller producers on smaller films that may not make you money just doesn't make sense anymore, I guess.

Films:

• Taxi9211 (almost shot-for-shot remake of a Hollywood film whose name I'm forgetting)
• Mumbai Meri Jaan
• Dhoom (and 2)
• Pazhassi Raja (Mollywood film but still pretty good I reckon even though I'm in it)
• Lagaan (shot in the same part of Gujarat as my film, and very well-received)
• Munnabhai

Hollywood actually does its fair share of money laundering (as does nearly every industry in the US that handles that kind of money). The guy who took over Harvey Weinstein's company had a bizarrely complex scheme going involving the college fund for the "customer's" kids, but it hasn't gotten a lot of media attention. And I know they used to do more straightforward style back in the early days, inflating production costs, etc.

By the way, I think you meant "cachet." I swear I'm not normally that guy; I only bring it up because, embarrassingly, I reread that sentence five times trying to figure out if you meant a hidden stash of money (which I guess also makes sense in this context).

Edit: Read through the thread and nobody has asked: how can we watch this movie? The IMDb page seems to imply that maybe you can watch it with a Starz account?

Edit Again!: Wikipedia says Taxi No. 9211 is a Bollywood remake of Changing Lanes, and I really want to watch that one, too.

That's the one!

And thanks for correcting me on that, I've assumed it was a silent t all french and stuff. I've been spelling it wrong for ages so thank you!

How safe are the sets, generally? The stunts are over the top, and I hope there is little injury for the stuntmen.

Crazy, crazy unsafe. A few incidents:

• Mate of mine that we all knew (all the white actors knew one another) had a set light fall from the roof and hit him in the head. It was a glancing blow but it cut his eyebrow right open. Strange it didn't happen more because the lighting rigs were wooden planks, lashed to the ceiling with thick hemp rope, and dudes wandered around on them carrying those old huge set lights around on their shoulders.
• On the set of a film that never released, called Ghulami, I missed out on the lead role but they gave me a lesser role. For my role, my first scene in the film I have to gallop this skittish horse into a castle (down near Pune somewhere), and chase the hero (Irrfan Khan - he's in Life of Pi and Slumdog Millionaire) and the heroine (Sameera Reddy, phwoar) into a little antechamber thing. We do multiple practise runs, then they shove some cotton wadding in the horses ears and go for a take. During the practises, there are all these sepoy soldiers shooting at one another and stuff, right. I assume they're adding all the bangs and stuff in post. We go for a take, I'm galloping into this room carrying a sword (maybe 60 feet by 40 feet part of a castle) and there is the cacophony of cracks around me. All the guns have been loaded and are firing for real. I'm hugely surprised by this. Then, BOOM, this massive fucking explosion goes off next to me, I think it was black powder in a coffee can to look like a mortar. I freak, the horse freaks, we both kind of skip sideways, almost into a set light, then continue to chase, heading to this door. Right as we get to it, these little blast things just go off in the horses face. They're sticky-taped to the edge of the door, presumably to shower me in sparks as I run through (hell knows why, it's out of shot I found out later). Horse baulks badly, I smash my nuts into the pummel of the saddle (but stay on, I'm an okay horseman) and go berserk in anger at the stunt director. Next day they get the lead onto a horse, and he fires a gun and it freaks the horse and it throws him into a stone wall. He gets angry, quits, and the film goes into meltdown. We were held as ransom by the workers on the film set (they blocked the exit to the hotel so we could walk to the shops but not easily leave and go back to Mumbai) and a few months later the producer jumped off his balcony.
• A few years later during the shooting of Luck, same stunt director. This time I'm getting off a truck, blindfolded and hands bound, and have to run across train tracks while trains smash us apart (some gambling thing I think, here's the scene). I'm first to get smashed by a train. They pull the train up next to me and put me in a harness, that goes through a pulley above me, and is attached to a pneumatic catapult thing that is going to launch me into the air. When they go to shoot, the flicking movement smashes my ankle into the train's push-plate thing and chips a bit of bone. Stuntman comes over to steady my swinging as I'm screaming, and grabs that ankle, more screaming, more swearing. I think he also worked on Pazhassi Raja too.
• Hamara Tiranga (film coming out in two days) I have learned my lesson about horses, and demand a well-trained horse. I get another skittish nutbag that's afraid of its own shadow. I try to get to know the horse, it's hard. It's clearly been mistreated (headshy - they pull their head away from pats if they're used to being smacked about the muzzle). When the shoot goes, the horse freaks, and bolts. I've been on bolting horses before, and it's terrifying every time. It's like being strapped to an erratic motorcycle with the throttle stuck open. We're out on a salt-flat-like-desert, and it does two whole laps of the entire set (they'd built a mud village for the film) before getting tangled in fencing wire and coming to a stop. I got off that horse feeling really, really unwell, and the next day had temperatures so high I needed to be hospitalised. My working theory is I had malaria and the adrenaline and whatever else brought it on. I had multiple (ghastly) hospital visits and apparently nearly died from having too high a temperature.
• Pazhassi Raja: Was on a horse, galloping to find the hero and kill him, and another horse comes up behind mine and tries to mount it while we're at a full gallop. Oh, and also one time the film set was invaded by gangster-types who wanted baksheesh (bribes) to film there. They weren't pleased with the answer so they roughed us up a tiny bit (like shouldered me I think, nothing serious).

There are CONSTANT accidents. In fact the documentary Beyond Bollywood talks about some of them, because the workers on the sets die quite a bit. And when reading these consider: I'm white and an actor, that makes me worth keeping safe on two fronts, I'm worth more to the film (because once your face is on screen you're locked in) and being foreign, too. Imagine how dangerous it is for the anonymous stuntmen. No insurance whatsoever, corrupt unions, it's not good.

I smash my nuts into the pummel of the saddle (but stay on, I'm an okay horseman)

A scene unseen on movie screen

An equine and a human being

(Twas thee and not that Irrfan Khan)

I'm glad that your nuts are still on

That was awesome. Thank you.

Oh my! A lot of these scenes seem so well choreographed and refined. I assumed a lot of preparation and precaution when into these. That's disheartening, glad you made it out alive!

That's a few incidents over 5 years though. If you stay away from the stunts its pretty safe. Thank you!

Were you big enough in the Bollywood scene to get recognized on the street much?

Do Indian chicks dig your sly British movie star self? Do you have any amusing anecdotes about said diggings?

Other than work related stuff, what do you remember most fondly of your time in India?

Which well-known British comedic actor or actress should be the Next Big Thing in Bollywood? And what would Jennifer Saunders think?

• Not very often, but a few times I did. I did a TV serial and that caused a few people to recognise me (because they're on EVERY DAY and housewives watch them), and a few times mums were like "Aren't you in that serial?" also I was once recognised in Kerala for my role in a Malayalam film Pazhassi Raja. But generally, not really. I was recognised for being tall and white, but nobody really registers the minor roles in films, it was constantly underwhelming to realise that.
• Yeah a bit. India in general has an obsession with pale skin. I'm a 'gora' (hence the un) and girls are 'goris', and it's also a compliment to say to an Indian girl "You're a gori", there are even songs that go "Gori lagte ho" etc. So yeah, they like the foreign man. I have also had a few say they like being treated differently to Indian men, because in certain realms (I'm guessing they meant sexy ones) Westerners can be more attentive and responsive. I put that down to the culture of sexual repression rather than anything innate though.
• The people are lovely. I also loved the roads, I rode a motorbike most of my time there, and effin loved riding around. Sometimes I'd just get bored and go start up my bike and ride around Mumbai for no apparent reason. With no helmet it was probably not the best idea, but I loved it. Stop at a chai shop, chat some shit, ride somewhere else, see the seafront. It was lovely.
• Hmmm, dunno. I'd love to see a few more female roles that are a bit more positive. Typically women are treated (as they were in western cinema until recently) as pawns in a man's game. White women were slutty pawns in a man's game. But do note that my experiences are 8+ years old and stuff may have changed since then.

Did you do any Bhangra dancing? Is it as fun and also as dumb as it looks?

Also what’s the best Bollywood movie that a random Netflix loving white dude should be watching (aside from your movie which is no doubt awesome or whatever)

Hahaha I dunno if my film is awesome. I'm a pretty awful actor tbh.

I didn't do any Bhangra dancing, not on screen. I tried to learn many times, but I just seemed to lack the co-ordination to get my limbs to do the things in time with the music. I mostly actually got paid to sit down and stop dancing. Hate to seem like I'm plugging the film (and won't do this endlessly - not like I'm getting royalties anyway) but here's an example from Hamara Tiranga: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAM2NW0IOXY

As for Bollywood films a white person would like, I really, really liked Being Cyrus. It's not classical Bollywood, in fact it's in English, but it's a nicely made film. Also Dev D is really good. I like them because they have a bit of a more raw and real look at Indian culture, rather than just the pure escapism of most Bollywood.

Thank you :-). Yeah a proper movie with a take on Indian culture would be interesting enough, will check everything out.

There's also another one I really liked and I forgot its name. Its Mumbai something, and it's about these people who are unhappily in arranged marriages and see one another on a train and it's about how their relationship evolves in the restrictive Indian culture, borrowing this guy's keys to his apartment so they can shag. It's quite nice and sweet and has a much more accessible level of spoken Hindi and I liked. Just forgot its name. Has Mumbai in the title I think...

Are you thinking of The Lunchbox ?

That wasn't the one, but that does look like a beautiful film - and starring some Dhabawallas by the sound of it!

Do you still act? Why did you stop acting in Bollywood films?

I do not. I went to see Pazhassi Raja (another film I played a kind of villain in), and took a bunch of people to watch it. I appeared on screen at 1hr6mins into the film, and, well... Watch a few minutes (even seconds) and you'll realise what I did: I'm shit at acting. Really bad. It was a crushing realisation, 'cos up till that point I thought I was actually pretty good. Seeing that film made me realise I need to go find something I'm good at. I left India a few months later.

I see you stayed in India till you took an arrow to the knee.

Haaaaa very true. "I was a Bollywood actor like you..."

That scene made me so scared. They were real steel-tipped arrows, knocked on real bows, fully drawn. The director liked my fear because it was real.

What a psychopath.

Not really. Most people don't quite get how dangerous bows are, and he was busy trying to get the film finished. It was a nightmarish shoot - took 3 years to complete.

Most people don't quite get how dangerous bows are

I mean, they're a weapon at the end of the day. They're supposed to be dangerous to whatever you shoot them at. I get shot at with rubber tipped arrows as part of one of my hobbies and yeah, it hurts. I definitely wouldn't be comfortable if I knew they had steel tips rather than rubber ones. A friend of mine nearly lost eyesight in one eye from a 'rogue' shot to the face with a rubber tipped crossbow bolt.

Yeah people think rubber tip means it's some kind of anti-matter.

so what are you doing now? do you like it more?

Now I work as a speech and confidence coach - I get people to speak up better, run workshops, coach individuals, design programs for companies so their employees can be heard. I really enjoy it, it's very fulfilling and I think I'm pretty good at it.

Like it more... I dunno. I certainly feel more fulfilled. I do miss being in films and stuff though.

So you suck at speaking in front of a camera so you teach others how to speak. Makes sense?

I don't suck at speaking in front of camera. I'm pretty good at it I think. I suck at convincingly pretending to be someone I'm not. Being a dastardly dude who bashes in a woman's skull with a rifle to teach everyone a lesson. I struggled to connect with my roles and instead just wanted to perform a bit, I guess. I still have the vanity, I just recognised which talents I had and which I lacked.

Answer honestly. What do you think of the high prevalence of nepotism in Bollywood?

It's a problem, same as it is in any industry. But it's reflective of the rest of Indian life. I worked for a while with a market research company and I remember the utter confusion at the idea of there being 'job interviews'... Like, why don't you just hire my cousin?

To me it's the unfortunate side effect of having a culture that is obsessed with human connection and closeness and family.

I remember you from that Netflix documentary. What did your friends and family back home think of your life after watching it on netflix?

They loved it. It gave them an idea of what life was like and it was also a kind assurance that I wasn't just high on opium and dreaming up a Bollywood career.

Edit: And thanks for saying you saw it! I'll tell Ruch and Adam.

Have you picked up any swear words in Hindi? Let's hear em out

So many. I speak Hindi relatively fluently. Bahinchod - the big one. Sisterfucker. Bahin=sister, and chod. (Interestingly chod is very similar to a bunch of other non-sweary words.) Matachod - motherfucker. Sala - a great casual one that can be used in almost an endearing way, means 'brother in law' (Hindi has a different word for every relation based on the relationship to you). It's a subtle "I fucked your sister" thing, but it's often used a bit like we use bastard. You lucky bastard etc. Chutiya - cunt. Pussy, whatever, but it has the bite of 'cunt'. I love the phrase "Mujhe chutiya mat banao" which is like "Don't make a cunt out of me", a great one to use in a friendly haggle (being mindful of your audience). Louda - cock And then put them together, like "Tere maa ki louda" meaning 'your mum's cock'. Or there are way gentler ones like (not sure of pronunciation or spelling here) dukan dakan? Which means 'lid' and colloquially means an idiot. An empty lid.

That's all I've got off the top of my head.

Respect. Speaking of mujhe chutya mat banao, how often did shopkeepers try to add gora tax to regular prices ? ...this snacks dude (total madarchod) tried charging rs 3000 for two samosas from these Dutch tourists...cops had to intervene .

Oh man. Every. Damn. Day. That really grated on me towards the end. Feeling like I'd put in a bunch of effort to be accepted but because of my skin I just never would. After five years of being there, to still get really overt, unashamed awareness of your 'otherness' shoved in your face. It gets tiring.

I guess in some ways that gives me a glimpse at what it must be like as an Indian or Black person in the UK or Australia or anywhere. It's different but it's interesting to get a taste. I think we're less 'obvious' but that's balanced against India being generally more open.

Like you're 'other', and often that sucks in India, but it also is the reason this family of total strangers is inviting you into their home for dinner. It was the reason I was there, to be professionally white. So I was soaking up the perks, a bit, I guess.

haha,,,if you wanna the real prices of stuff, marry an Indian girl. They know how to bargain with shopkeepers.
off-topic: have you checked out 'two foreigners in bollywood' yt channel? https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnuen5DBNNREHhvC-VY296Q

Oh my god they're amazing. That is so cool. I don't recognise them. Really well made!

I haven't watched an Indian movie in sooooo long, so do non-Indian people still get portrayed as a token non-speaking role with a bland name like "Steve Johnson" in Indian movies?

And what about when there's a role of an Indian person who was born in America but is visiting India? How differently is he portrayed? Does he just spout out American cliches to show he's American and act like a spoiled brat (compared to someone who grew up in traditional Indian culture)?

You mean like Hamara Tiranga where I'm just "Garry" with two r's. The lead villain just has a first name. Hah, yeah :)

Again am not speaking from current experience, I don't watch much Bollywood nowadays. Not many films at all really. But I do remember that trope. It'd be an Indian born person who hadn't quite nailed the accent, doing things like chewing gum or something to show how Western she was now.

Chewing gum = westernized? What else is included in that trope, wearing shoes?

Umm, well there are many western things that, on women, often come across as slutty. Lipstick, tight fitting jeans, spaghetti straps tank tops, these kinds of things. Also girls had a habit of swearing a bit, which I really liked. They pronounce 'fuck' so perfectly. "He's a fuck-all guy, yaar". Lots of things.

How did it start? Were you already in India or did you move specifically to pursue acting in Bollywood.

Just wandering through the streets of the tourist trap area of Mumbai, someone asked me. Happens to pretty much everyone, or did back then.

What do you think of the poop swim scene from Slumdog Millionaire?

I just had to find it to see what you were talking about. Err... That's gross. Not quite as gross as this doco I watched with my best mate a few years back: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBxy1R0jitM

have you dated/slept with any co workers or locals while your stay there?

Of course. Who wouldn't?

In here you said you missed being in films. Would you ever do another Bollywood film if they ever contacted you?

Oh yeah, probably. Like if there was a fun film I wanted to do, about an important topic, or with cool perks, I'd definitely do it. But I wouldn't go back into doing it professionally I don't think.

so who was the lead actor?

In Hamara Tiranga? Rahul Dev, Vijay Raaz, Ashmit Patel, Madhu Sharma, Sheetal Shah were the biggest names.

What do you like/dislike about the Bollywood industry?

And what is your favourite food in India?

Edit: add in another question.

I love how escapist and loony the films are, and how celebratory they are. Bollywood seems to just go nuts for pomp and grandeur and being over-the-top, and I love that about it.

Worst bit? Casting couch. No, probably the representation of women and other groups (black people, even white people) and the way it can still reinforce stereotypes and ideas I think aren't helping Indian people. That promiscuity 'ruins' a woman, that black people are criminals, this kind of thing. It's pervasive and problematic.

Fave food? Gosh. Ummm... Masala dosa? Or just a good Mumbai thali maybe. Or train station vada pav.

I don't know if this has been asked before, but do you feel weirdly good when hot Bollywood actresses do some romantic thing with you in a film scene?

Also, have you heard of Indian actor Tiger Shroff? What are your opinions on him?

I did do a sex scene in that film that's been deleted. It was weirdly hot, yes. All sorts of kissing and rolling around, wearing skin-coloured bike shorts, in front of a studio full of other people. It was pretty funny. We were on a revolving purple satin bed in some dream sequence, pretty amusing. I wish I could get that footage. Also once got to hold Priyanka Chopra's hand for a commercial, that too was pretty interesting.

Oh and nope, I hadn't heard of Tiger. I did a thing with Jackie Shroff if that's similar?

What part of Gujarat did you film in?

It was in the Rann of Kutch, we were staying in Bhuj, and shooting somewhere out of town on a flat desert. Goodness it was hot. 40 degrees C one day. We had people passing out all over the shop.

Did you meet Benny Lava?

I missed out on that experience I'm sad to say. But I do hear he caught Bin Laden, so that's good.

What are you talking about, Bin Laden? Do you understand who I'm talking about?

The ridiciulous Benny Lava dance video. Someone subtitled it, and there was a line about Bin Laden wasn't there?

How did you get into the industry? I'm Indian-American and have toyed with the idea of getting into the Bollywood industry as a Sound Engineer/Designer.

Sorry I missed this. Umm, well, there are two ways to go about it. The one, is the more reasonable, the second being a bit more of the gritty truth.

1. Go to the gym, stay out of the sun, take care of your appearance and get some headshots done. Then either go to India and start auditioning, or contact a few Bollywood-focused talent agencies in the US. If you're willing to travel for the roles initially (even if they're small), then you'll get to meet people in the industry. I was never a very talented actor, but I was reliable (as in I'd turn up roughly on time), and I gave a passable performance every time, so any 2nd or 3rd takes were usually for lighting or framing or sound or something other than my acting. This makes you very attractive to producers and directors, because many actors, the moment they get a whiff of success, become difficult assholes. They are unhelpful and lazy and have tantrums about everything, behave like a whole shoot revolves around what they think their best 'side' is. Being fun and easy to work with and ready to put in hours (shoots regularly run at 16h per day, and actors typically have the easiest job out of everyone), and directors and producers will pick up the phone and call you direct in future.

That said, it's tough. There are literally MILLIONS of people, brown people, looking for those roles, and many of them are filled with cousins and brothers in law and sisters and friends of established actors and producers and filmi people. So I'd recommend leveraging two things, one - being American. If you have any Indian accent, be sure you can maintain a really good, passable American accent, as well as a passable Indian accent. Not knowing Hindi can actually sometimes been a benefit, but I suspect also sometimes a problem. So...

1. Find out, among family and friends and extended family, who knows someone in the film business. Get in the way everyone else does, through nepotism. Find an uncle or a cousin who's an AD or a financer or something and get them to get you in. It sucks that's the way the industry works, but don't hate the playa and all that.

2. Consider acting in the west. It's better unionised, you'll get better treated, and your chances of success are probably about the same. Wherever you are in the US, go join a local theatre group, do improv. Part of doing this is honing your skill (I still think I could've made a proper go at it if I'd trained more in acting), theatre isn't necessarily a good place to get 'spotted'. Or start doing sketches and uploading them to the internet. One of the reasons I quit was because I started to recognise that there was a very weak correlation between skill and success in acting. You can be an awful actor and very successful (I was pretty successful and pretty bad), or a great actor that just never gets seen. Making your own content and doing your own thing on a smaller scale is much more meritocratic - if you make good content, people will see it. From there, you may launch into doing other things.

That, and if you're SERIOUS about acting, then you need to make some tough choices. Ordinary jobs are very difficult to hold down as an actor, because cafes don't like it when you miss shifts because you've got another audition, but doing it part time (i.e. turning up to auditions only when you're free) often won't get you there. Even as a white guy, it was maybe 100 auditions to 1 good role. That's 100 times you need to skip out of your 'job' to do something that's a gamble. It's heartbreaking when you do that and turn up and they're like "We wanted a black guy" or something, and it became clear you'd wasted your time to turn up. Do that when there's a cost and one or the other will eventually give.

That said, if you've got rich, supportive parents or savings; consider packing it in and going to India for 6 months or a year and slogging it out. It's likely you'll get a bit of work and the gods of luck may smile on you and you could make a break. Or, do both. Go over there trying to become a star, and film the experience of a 'Desi boy comes to India' and upload it as a vlog...

Edit: the list went weird sorry.

The ransomed of the Lord shall return…with singing to Zion.

Wha?

why did you use 'cos when the abbreviation would be 'cause?

I think it's a pretty well-recognised abbreviation, isn't it? Harper Collins thinks so: https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/cos

Odd, and interesting. Usually the point of a single quotation mark is to say there was more letters abbreviated at the locatiom of thr mark, not that the letters have entirely changed.

Yeah I am just so used to it I've never really thought about it. Guess you're right, but the British love changing the spelling of things to make them less decipherable.

Dude I'm Canadian, We basically speak a hybrid of American and British English. Its a mess

So true! We're like brothers. (Edit: Or sisters?)