Comments: 369 • Responses: 55  • Date: 

sybaritic_footstool201 karma

I believe we've read the same thread about haircuts, haven't we?

aMANescape144 karma

twas a grand old thred

Nieoools141 karma

Do you get the urge to yell 'AAAAND CUT' after each haircut?

aMANescape97 karma

hahaha. this guy

WhatanUnusualname105 karma

What kind of hair do you grow?

aMANescape126 karma

light brown

WhatanUnusualname69 karma

I'm satisfied with this post.

aMANescape67 karma

may i also say... i am satisfied with this comment

Non-Polar12 karma

me too thanks

ConanTheRoman13 karma

Now kiss.

aMANescape19 karma


timdaw5 karma

Pics or it didn't happen.

aMANescape28 karma

pics in proof. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?

jangle_bo_jingles69 karma

Can you tell us about a time you brushed your hair, and/or joined the military?

aMANescape82 karma

brushing is for girls

aMANescape66 karma

i should point out that it's 2:30am here in Australia. I just got home from a fucking rad UNWRITTEN LAW concert and i had a few drinks so bear with me. I may accidentally drop the cunt bomb here and there. but not on purpose.

saganstarguy17 karma

I saw them in 2003 at the Warped tour. Great show.

aMANescape25 karma

fucking A man. UNWRITTEN LAW fans are my people

otis_reading7 karma

I'm old and not hip to the cool new bands. I'm guessing they are metal or something since they are on the warped tour. I could google them, but fuck it...I'm lazy. What's a good song or two by them?

aMANescape8 karma

it was the 15 year anniversary of their album ELVA. i'm sure it's on spotify or whatever. they played the whole fucking album and killed it!!! highly recommend you grab yourself a cold beer, put your feet up, turn up the volume and soak that album in!!! fucking incredible album

Logic_and_Memes44 karma

Do you generally have an irritating itch after a haircut? If so, how do you alleviate it?

aMANescape65 karma

an ocean swim always follows haircuts. am yet to experience after haircut itch... conclusion: ocean swims prevent scalp itch post haircut

La_Bamba_33 karma

Aren't you in Australia? Doesn't an ocean swim=death by many many painful creatures?

aMANescape41 karma


kaiserschmiser43 karma

do you like the turkey ir ham sandwich?

aMANescape65 karma

have you ever tried both? with hot english mustard? its as though the devil himself was cumming down the back of your throat.. fuck it's late

Grintor41 karma

How many hairs do you usually have cut at a time?

aMANescape88 karma

one at a time my friend... there's no rush

rimper39 karma

Are you angry with Beyonce for culturally appropriating your hairstyle?

aMANescape61 karma

brb. googling 'culturally appropriating'

Grendith23 karma

What did you find?

aMANescape176 karma

a picture of Beyonce with my hairstyle

Drangid36 karma

Would you rather bang Kate Upton with no arms and she's screaming the whole time, or Rebel Wilson but her voice is the same as yours?

aMANescape36 karma

Rebel Wilson every time

ballisnot33 karma

Are you going to get mad if I ask about something other that Rampart?

aMANescape50 karma

please. only questions about rampart

Cassiterite4 karma

Have you watched Rampart?

If yes, what did you think of it? Write a 600-900 word essay.

aMANescape12 karma

Flamesilver533 karma

What do you think is the true meaning of life?

aMANescape80 karma

to love. and to be loved

2monkeysandafootball22 karma

Which hair do you get cut?

aMANescape53 karma

i try to be fully inclusive with all my hairs that get cut... some get cut more than others. but at the end of the day, all the hairs walk away from the experience feeling like they have had a good time

SinkTube12 karma

your hair walks?

aMANescape17 karma

and talks

gigigetsgnashty13 karma

What made you decide to write children's books?

aMANescape28 karma

i wanted to be a children's author as soon as i knew what books were. roald dahl's 'the twits' was my first introduction to books. i fell in love with being imaginative and telling stories and making people chuckle and feel good.

gigigetsgnashty10 karma

That's amazing. Thank you for sharing. I love children's books, even as I've grown up. I feel like it's challenging to see things from the eyes of a child and anyone that can possesses true skill.

aMANescape11 karma

it is very true. RIP roald dahl

escape_of_da_keets12 karma

What's your opinion on gay swans?

aMANescape30 karma

let them get married in a protestant church

__youcancallmeal__12 karma

Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?

aMANescape29 karma

i could never fight a duck looking creature. unless it caused harm to someone i love.

saganstarguy11 karma

It is still Friday here. Anything happening on Saturday I should know about?

aMANescape29 karma

Donald Trump is still prez

ForgotMyFathersFace11 karma

This thread got depressing.

aMANescape23 karma

fact: cows have best friends. and they will always have best friends. so cheer up :)

bteh10 karma

I see that you have a fledgling beard growing there. are those hairs that you also plan to cut? or will you allow them to realize their potential?

aMANescape31 karma

call me a racist, but those hairs get treated unequally from the others.

dave_felix9 karma

Do you feel your ears are lower after each cut?

aMANescape14 karma


SpankMePanky8 karma


aMANescape10 karma


ahendler7 karma

Have you ever punched a Kangaroo?

aMANescape15 karma

not yet. Gary was brought up with manners

buttertarts1236 karma

Now these haircuts, when you're getting them, what you doing to represent minority fringe groups?

aMANescape4 karma


lolly_lag6 karma

WHICH hair do you get cut?

aMANescape11 karma

all the hairs ;)

LordTrav6 karma

What kinda vacuum do you use?

aMANescape19 karma

a super fancy regular one

festival_cat5 karma

Favorite children's book?

aMANescape6 karma

The Twits. I know it's mildly funny at best now. But 5 year old me shat my pants with laughter reading it!! :)

AutoModerator5 karma

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My_Fire_Mixtape26 karma

Yeah, I think we need an actual picture of you getting a hair cut. I don't believe you for one second OP.

aMANescape46 karma

you'll find from my proof pic that my hair is short enough to not have to brush, yet long enough to look like i am not in the military

wastelander47-745 karma

How often is sometimes? Once a month?

aMANescape14 karma

4-8 times a year depending on how much vitamin D I am getting

Under_the_Milky_Way5 karma

Do you use spell check, proper grammar and capital letters in your book or will I get cancer again from reading it?

aMANescape3 karma

i purposefully ignore punctuation, and as a result, consider myself to be in the same echelon as james joyce :D

lumphie5 karma

What is your favourite kind of pizza?

aMANescape5 karma

pepperoni baby! yehw!!!

2cool4life5 karma

Any new books to recommend?

aMANescape8 karma

Stephen King has a children's book out soon. Hanging for that one. Wait. it might be out already. anyone know?

colm445 karma

do you play video games? if so, what are some of your favorites?

aMANescape4 karma

i do. so over the years i have dedicated quite a considerable amount of time to games such as ZELDA, SKYRIM, and GOLDENEYE. But no other game could ever match the time I have dedicated to MARIO KART 64. I love that game and anyone else who shares my love for it

jbone174 karma

Do you prefer boneless or bone-in wings?

aMANescape12 karma

boneless wings??? what a time to be alive

lolypuppy3 karma

make it so that I don't have to brush it. But also. That I don't look like I'm in the military. Please and thank you

Why don you want so you don't have to brush it?

It doesn't take more than a few seconds for me.

And in your pic, you really need to comb it.

aMANescape12 karma

brushing takes away precious seconds that i could be eating a sandwich or punching a kangaroo

ShockinglyEfficient3 karma

I hardly ever get a haircut. Why do you and I wait so damn long to get a haircut? I have my theories.

aMANescape6 karma

some say it is fear of the unknown. others say it is something else.

TimmyB_3 karma

What size clipper?

aMANescape10 karma

7 inch ;)

aldbatteredfish3 karma

Do they swear a lot in the hairdressers you go to?

aMANescape9 karma

you bet your cunt licking dick they do

Warlizard3 karma

Be honest, do you ever have a quick tug underneath the smock when your barber / stylist is especially hot?

aMANescape3 karma

are you kidding me. with those shampoo head massages?? who hasnt?

coolcrushkilla3 karma

Whats the longest you've gone without getting your hair cut?

aMANescape9 karma

when I was a teenager, i had long hair and would only get haircuts once a year at best :( my poor hairs felt so neglected

PMmeURDirtyTalkVids3 karma

Shampoo after? Or just brush off any excess clippings?

aMANescape7 karma

ocean swim my friend. i tend not to use shampoo that often


Do you like white cows with black spots or brown cows with white spots?

aMANescape6 karma

i love all cows. especially eating them. (soz 1/3 of the earths population)

Talithin2 karma

Alright cunt?

aMANescape3 karma


IAmNotStelio2 karma

Why is the only option on the website "add ALL books to cart"?

aMANescape3 karma

there are other options... keep cruisin

GenShinigami1 karma

Do you prefer ham or turkey sandwiches?

aMANescape4 karma

fuck.... if there was a gun to my head. and i really had to choose... fuckn.... shit... i don't know man... HAM! NO! TURKEY! no fuckit. shoot me