Comments: 899 • Responses: 87  • Date: 

PM_ME_PRINCESS_PLUGS334 karma

Do people often recognise you? How do you react if they ask for a picture or say hello?

Simwisesucks501 karma

No not anymore! It used to happen occasionally but as most of my TV work was in the US nobody in the UK knew who I was unless they read FRONT. I was always friendly though 👍🏻

hlwroc283 karma

I see you interviewed Die Antwoord. Are they as crazy as they seem?

Simwisesucks415 karma

No they were really quiet! I was super nervous about interviewing them as I was a big fan of theirs (still am) but they seemed quite shy IRL.

hlwroc150 karma

I first was introduced to them in the movie "Chappie." I didn't know they were a band until my girlfriend looked them up, and then played nothing but their music as we went to bed for like 2 weeks. I'm not the biggest fan, but I thought they did well in the movie, and are somewhat entertaining. Was always interested in how much of it was an act and how much of it is real.

Simwisesucks217 karma

I do think they are created characters in a way but ones that they have fully invested themselves into as all of their tattoos and everything are real. I love their style and how they really push boundaries and I think without them we wouldn't have other outsider music like Little Big and Tommy Cash.

scroller52268 karma

Why the username?

Simwisesucks286 karma

It's my old Myspace username.

ItStartsToday_240 karma

What's the worst/best pick-up line you've heard from a guy trying to start a conversation with you?

Simwisesucks434 karma

I'm quite lucky in that I haven't had to suffer many pick up lines in real life although I do get really odd message requests on Facebook sometimes. The best was "Do you like country music? Do you want kids? Do you only speak and understand English?"

iWant_To_Play_A_Game219 karma

How does one become a playboy model?

Simwisesucks391 karma

Its a long and arduous process. For Playmates it involves lots of test shoots etc and there is a very specific look. I wasn't a Playmate though, I modelled mainly for their Special Editions (Blondes, Brunettes & Redheads) and was their UK Cybergirl of the Year.

lectroboy74 karma

[deleted]

Simwisesucks139 karma

Because it was something I did at the beginning of my career and I did loads of other stuff after.

ThunderSack146 karma

Are you still writing? Are there any topics or genres you've never written in that you've set your sights on?

Simwisesucks192 karma

No, I don't write anymore. I sometimes write blogs and that but I only really write when I'm miserable and I haven't been sad for quite a while. Which is a good thing for my mental health but bad for creative output!

I find writing really cathartic and would love to write something more factual one day.

Jeff_Cunningham126 karma

What was the conversation like with your parents/family/friends when you told them you were posing for Playboy?

Also, what is the mansion like?

Simwisesucks239 karma

I don't think I told them! Haha. I think in general my modelling upset my Dad as it was quite public and he didn't like it that his friends could google me. My Mum just thought it was funny.

I never actually went to the mansion, I worked for Playboy mainly in the UK so it was never a thing although I did meet Hef a couple of times and was a bunny at his 80th birthday party in London.

delrico90 karma

Amazing. What did you make of Hef? What would you have said if he'd asked you to move in with him at the Playboy Mansion?

Simwisesucks211 karma

You know, I've read a few books now on the mansion and it sounds absolutely gross! I'd like to say I would have said no, but ten years ago Playboy was a really big deal to me and I was quite naive, so I'm not so sure what I would have done. Maybe I would have moved in but I don't think I could have stomached it for very long! As for Hef, he just seemed a bit... doddery!? He is really really old.

EX-Manbearpig121 karma

Whats your opinion about pineapple on pizza?

Simwisesucks431 karma

BIG fan (sorry)

VoodooVedal109 karma

Have you heard of the high elves?

Simwisesucks193 karma

From Skyrim?

Simwisesucks80 karma

HAHAHAHA

ImSomebodyNow103 karma

Were you friends with anyone at G4, and do you stay in touch? How did you get started there?

Simwisesucks204 karma

I was friends more with the crew than any of the onscreen talent and I still speak to a lot of the camera guys and producers as they were really fun people. Kevin Pereira was always super nice and funny, he was the first person I met from G4. I was booked to do a short segment with him when they were over doing a travel segment in the UK and impressed everybody with my nerd knowledge. Next thing I know I was being hired to be their European Correspondent! It was an awesome job I absolutely loved it. Such nice people to work for.

MrInternetDetective69 karma

Do you still talk to Kevin? He was always one of my favorite people on G4! RIP Attack of the Show

Simwisesucks37 karma

No, I don't, although I can attest he is a really nice guy.

Tacomaster321179 karma

If your daughter wanted to become a model, would you try to dissuade her, or encourage her?

Would you ever want to get back into modelling, maybe something less risqué?

Finally, are there any plans for another calendar?

Simwisesucks104 karma

I'd be supportive, as long as it made her happy. I'm not sure if the kind of modelling I did will still be around by the time she grows up though!

As for me, I still do the odd shoot every now and again and I wouldn't rule out another calendar completely although I don't have any plans for one at the moment.

parzivldoom74 karma

I miss G4TV so much! Used to watch it all the time! What was your favorite moment on set?

Simwisesucks158 karma

I loved working at SDCC, that was my favourite time working for G4. I remember they gave me an assistant while I was working which made me feel like a total bigshot, but I was too nice! I felt guilty asking her to do anything for me! She was all "can I get you a coffee?" and there's me going "here let me give you some money for that..." she's like "no! It's all paid for!" I just didn't get it.

brokentemple66 karma

  • What was the best bit of advice you've been given?
  • What preconceptions about society did you lose during your time as a model?
  • Are you happy with the way your life has turned out so far?
  • What's your favourite pizza topping?

Simwisesucks148 karma

"Work hard and be nice to people." I had a really long career as a model and I owe a lot of it to being easy and fun to work with (for the most part). I was certainly never the best looking or the most popular but I was always a grafter! Nowadays my life is a lot quieter, but I'm a lot happier for sure.

Biggest preconception? Hmm... well I think when you are in that world people think you are having the bestest time, but I suffered with depression a lot and was quite lonely. The same could be said for a lot of the celebrities I interviewed too I guess.

Favourite pizza topping is a condiment... that Frank's chilli sauce is amazing

sdlonyerg60 karma

How's the porn collection coming along?, i remember seeing you had quite the filthy collection on a Channel 5 program many moons ago.

Simwisesucks70 karma

It has diminished somewhat, I like retro porn now haha.

patb201557 karma

Did you ever get to work with Olivia Munn?

Simwisesucks74 karma

I didn't work with her, but I met her a few times.

Bassethounds4ever60 karma

Was she a bitch?

Simwisesucks160 karma

Haha. She wasn't the nicest person I ever met, but no.

Throwaway130303304245 karma

Am I the only one that remembers you from the Juiced ad? That was awesome.

Simwisesucks44 karma

That advert is OLD! I must have filmed it ten years ago but props for remembering it!

patb201545 karma

How does being a British Playboy model differ from being an American one? I guess the circulation is smaller? Do they pay the same for a photoshoot as the US branch does? I know US Playboy Models, often make more money doing promotional work ( Opening Car Dealerships, Appearing at night clubs,,,,) is that the same thing for the British PM models?

Simwisesucks86 karma

There isn't a British Playboy, I am British. I modelled for the American magazines/website and the pay was pretty average if I remember correctly.

KissingSchwartzBoys40 karma

What are your thoughts on Brexit?

Simwisesucks226 karma

That it was never something that should have gone to a public vote.

delrico37 karma

What was your favourite moment from your time doing modelling? Is there anything you'd have loved to have done, but didn't get the chance?

Simwisesucks72 karma

My best moment was my cover of Bizarre magazine. Everything about that shoot was perfect from the makeup and hair to my outfit... even the playlist on the day, it was such a brilliant experience and I love the pictures. I would have loved to have gotten a cover of FRONT also but there was weird politics at play there which is a story for another time!

Cheesusaur15 karma

It was dumb that you were never on the cover of FRONT. You and that goth bird were like, 90% of the reason for buying it, especially when the rest of the content got proper rubbish.

Simwisesucks20 karma

Do you mean Von? We met up a few weeks ago! I hadn't seen her in 5 years before that!

Cheesusaur8 karma

Yeah! You and her were great!

Macctheknife36 karma

How do you feel about Playboy discontinuing nude models, and going for more of a GQ look?

Simwisesucks157 karma

I think it is lame AF.

Buildabearberger33 karma

What career challenges would you like to take on in the future?

Simwisesucks59 karma

I think the only two things left on my bucket list are to make a documentary and write a book.

Buildabearberger24 karma

Do you have a subject in mind for the documentary?

Simwisesucks91 karma

I want to make one on why glamour modelling isn't cool anymore and why boobies are naff.

seamus52246 karma

Naff? I am ignorant. What does this mean?

missuseme54 karma

Naff means a bit rubbish. Equivalent to lame.

seamus52257 karma

Oh man I don't think I can agree with her statement then. But, I guess she is the one who owns a pair so she might know better than me

Simwisesucks50 karma

It's not me who thinks it, just seems to be the general attitude from society at large atm

focalplane-23 karma

It means that now that she isn't deriving money from being pretty, she will rip on it and tell people that it's wrong.

Happens a lot, but DEFINITELY when women get less marketable.

Simwisesucks23 karma

Nope, not the approach I was gonna take actually

Simwisesucks32 karma

Yeah I picked railroad, Father was dodgy af

delrico28 karma

Did you have any interesting offers that you turned down for some reason? Shoots, ads, etc.

Simwisesucks59 karma

I turned down the opportunity to be the face of Panache lingerie for some awful Mac & Bumble shoot just because it involved a trip to America. So bad. It was a horrible trip.

owljolson9423 karma

What do you mean by a horrible trip?

Simwisesucks65 karma

As in it was genuinely scary. The guys who ran that site were the worst.

vfr750f24 karma

You were so hot in the promo for Juiced. How do you feel about the negative reaction to its concept?

Simwisesucks39 karma

It was never a real advert! It was made specifically for the internet. I thought it a was pretty funny (fake) ad 😜

SpaceXcosmonaut24 karma

Do you have any pets? If so, what kind and do they have funny names?

Simwisesucks57 karma

I have a dog called Bronson, named after the Tom Hardy film. He's a blue staffy and is soft as shit.

SpaceXcosmonaut17 karma

How do you feel about cats?

Simwisesucks35 karma

I'm allergic to cats

SpaceXcosmonaut6 karma

Awesome, love the name. How old is he?

Simwisesucks11 karma

He's 2 1/2!

tapefixesall23 karma

Are you the model in the picture of the redhead with red lipstick in the plaid zip up hoodie? Cuz damnnnnnnnn that's some good work!

Simwisesucks25 karma

Yup!

crumbbelly22 karma

If you could offer your past self a piece of advice, what would it be?

Simwisesucks42 karma

Just to be a bit more open minded. I spent years sweating the small stuff when in hindsight none of it really mattered.

violeur-chein20 karma

Been a fan of yours since my teenage days!

  1. What was the last thing you did that gave you a brilliant sense of pride and satisfaction?

  2. If you were to spend 6 months on the international space station and we're allowed 3 luxury items, what would they be?

  3. What advice would you give your 20 year old self and then your 30 year old self?

  4. If you were to gift me a book, what would it be?

  5. If you could master 1 skill you don't have right now, what would it be?

  6. Can I buy you a drink one day? I'm heading to Tavistock in September ;)

Simwisesucks56 karma

  1. Gave birth to my daughter, no contest. She makes me feel like that every day.
  2. PS4, Friday Night Lights box set, Bioshock.
  3. 20 year old self: Forget about the cheerleaders. One sweet day you will catch the girl who stole it's husband cheating on her and it will be the best. day. ever. 30 year old self: Life will get better sooner than you think. Chin up.
  4. The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer by Susan Lynch.
  5. Alpaca farming.
  6. I don't actually know where Tavistock is! Lol.

scrapingthebarrels17 karma

Do you like tea? Have you read any book written by Haruki Murakami? What's your favorite video game?

Simwisesucks33 karma

Yes (it's my favourite), no, and Silent Hill.

Southpaw_Style16 karma

Did JD ever sort out their website?

Did you get the air max?

Simwisesucks17 karma

Hahahaha 😂 No and NO! Sad face.

Southpaw_Style13 karma

Didn't actually think you would respond 😂 Feel like I wasted my question now

Simwisesucks21 karma

That was actually the best question so far! Haha

fuck-dat-shit-up14 karma

Who do you miss the most from G4?

Simwisesucks20 karma

The exec producer John Rieber, he's one of the nicest most genuinely enthusiastic people I've ever met/worked with.

patb201514 karma

The US has kind of a puritan culture and women who model for Playboy find they often get celebrity but negative interactions with family afterwards. Does that occur in the UK or did you send all your uptight pain's in the ass to the colonies?

Simwisesucks29 karma

I don't think us Brits are as bothered. My family are all fine about it (although it did take my Dad a bit of time to adjust).

mark_i13 karma

How's the kick-starter going ?

Simwisesucks42 karma

Unfortunately we didn't hit our target (launching it just before Brexit probably wasn't the wisest move) so it's currently on the backburner but there are still plans to do something with the idea as I definitely think it's a documentary that needs to be made!

vedder4412 karma

what 5 things would u try to experience if u could be the opposite gender for a day?

Simwisesucks52 karma

I would do one thing and one thing only, and that would be stand in a mirror and slap my dick on my legs from side to side, like that dude in KIDS.

carlaskitty12 karma

What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use? You have beautiful hair and it's so shiny. Both my husband and son are redheads, I'd appreciate any advice.

Simwisesucks13 karma

Err, I use a mixture of brands - I try to go paraben free when I can but I can't give up my Aussie leave in conditioner stuff as it smells amazing.

flyingchrists11 karma

Has someone ever asked you to autograph a nude picture of yourself? Does it make you feel weird (or would it)? Or are you just like "damn, my tits look great here".

Simwisesucks15 karma

Pretty much the latter, yeah.

CucumberGod11 karma

how big is ur dong?

Simwisesucks20 karma

HUGE.

patb201511 karma

So what plans do you have?

Are you working on a book? Chasing about for a new TV show? Auditioning for films?

Simwisesucks35 karma

Nope! I don't work in the same industry anymore. Genuinely just doing this because I'm bored/curious.

tarantulabob10 karma

Do regret anything in your life?

Simwisesucks27 karma

Nope, nothing. Even the horrendous ex boyfriends had a function.

arsonist_in_flames10 karma

Holy shit, I remember you. You were all over Front magazine. Got any stories from Front shoots?

Simwisesucks12 karma

I have LOADS of stories from Front shoots. The best shoots were in the early days when me and Von would shoot our column pictures together as they were completely mental (lots of nudity and spitting beer at each other) but most of it never made it into the mags.

RandyMachoManSavage10 karma

Do you get confused with Kari Byron?

Simwisesucks10 karma

Nope.

Abhinav_19 karma

Have you found your true love ? If yes, than was it love at first sight or hit & trial experimental method ;p

Simwisesucks18 karma

Experimental method. Eugenics mostly.

tarantulabob9 karma

What's your favourite film and favourite book?

Simwisesucks28 karma

My favourite film changes all the time, most recently I would say Dope and Straight Outta Compton are up there. Of all time maybe Kung Fury!? My favourite book is Happy Like Murderers even though it put me off sex for life.

silverpony249 karma

Female here! I am a big fan, thank you for doing this AMA. My hubby is military and is always requesting sexy pictures for his deployments. Any advice on how I can take sexy photos for him?

Simwisesucks12 karma

Yeah I cosign Brainchasm. There's a great photography studio over here that I've worked with called Dollhouse that do amazing pinups and will make you look THE BOMB. I did one for my fella that only he has a copy of. If it's just selfies then I recommend finding somewhere with good light and playing about a bit to find the best angle(s). Having said that guys really aren't fussy, you don't have to look amazing in my experience.

davidcore8 karma

How do you feel about Front? Good/bad experience?

Simwisesucks16 karma

I'd say overall a mixed experience. I don't feel anything about it now as it doesn't exist, but working for them was definitely frustrating. Don't get me wrong, it opened a lot of doors and allowed me to be more myself in my modelling (and writing) but towards the end I hated it.

ehkodiak8 karma

Ah, hey Alex! I think the first time I knew you was from the Star Trek Online launch and you were wearing a TNG science uniform, it was pretty damn good. Were you hired for the event or are you a trekkie yourself?

Simwisesucks21 karma

Big TNG fan but not so much the other series.

Pritam19978 karma

Playboy acted as a centre of culture during that time and seriously please don't get me wrong. Why do you think that people at that time specially feminists couldn't do a shit about nudism and so so?

Simwisesucks27 karma

I think nudity goes through phases and times where it is socially acceptable and times where its not. For every generation that thinks nudity is empowering, the next one comes along and shuts it down, and so on.

bushidomonkofshadow7 karma

Do you ever look at the airbrushed finished photo and think it looks nothing like you or are they pretty true to life?

Simwisesucks9 karma

All the time! Haha! Back in the day we would get so angry if the photographer didn't photoshop us, nowadays everyone's the opposite!

1337_n00b7 karma

As a balding, slightly overweight guy (i.e. redditor), I sometimes feel it would be nice to get compliments for my looks, free tickets to shows, and the like. On the other hand, I understand that it must suck most of the time to be the object of sexual attention from strangers.

Do you ever daydream of being a balding, overweight guy just for a day?

Simwisesucks14 karma

Every. Single. Day. And not even as an escape.

Aleddin7 karma

I remember seeing the episode where you went to Japan when I was younger, any crazy experiences or memories from that trip?

Simwisesucks18 karma

That trip was the best trip ever. I literally had SO MUCH FUN. The best part was behind the scenes as I met my friend Rachel out there and she stayed with me at the hotel as she was dating a roadie and it had gone south and she needed cheering up. My friend is a dominatrix, so I'd go to work every day and meet the most amazing people and do the most awesome stuff and then I would come home to my drunk wife and she would tell me these amazingly fucked up stories about poo porn and guys with no faces. She's really lived a life. I love her.

throwawayyyyyyyy8887 karma

Do you remember trying on latex at comic con 2011 and was it uncomfortable? Here is video in case u forgot http://youtu.be/9_TT-ECoo0Y

Simwisesucks9 karma

Yeah, that was at House of Harlot, I used to love it there! I love latex clothing!

ILickWieners7 karma

Did you expect G4 to last that long? I thought it would end in 2011.

Simwisesucks15 karma

I knew that things were a bit shaky. When I started with them in 2009 everything was great but 2011 onwards I was never really sure when I would be working next. It's a shame as just before they closed they'd just gotten me an O1 Visa and in the end I never used it!!

Error-User-Deleted5 karma

Did you have the chance to work with Underwood? Was she a terrible person?

(And don't say "retired"...say...."former". (Retired makes you sound geriatric)

Simwisesucks5 karma

I really liked Underwood she had a great sense of humour and was really approachable. Because I was shipped in for ten days at a time it was hard to get to know everyone but she was always nice and fun to hang out with at parties.

PearIJam5 karma

Have all countries that publish Playboy magazine converted to no nude pictures and if so, do you think Playboy will still be in business in the future because of this?

Simwisesucks8 karma

I think Playboy as a brand will still exist but I don't think the magazine will exist for much longer.

McbadgerFace5 karma

Hey sim, what was your most risqué shoot you did and do you now regret it looking back?

Simwisesucks13 karma

I hated the shoot I did for Mac & Bumble. They really exploited us, treated us like shit and wouldn't let us have our plane tickets home unless we posed nude. Such a horrible experience.

WyzeThawt4 karma

Do you play games often? What are your favorite games at the moment or that you are looking forward to?

Simwisesucks31 karma

Not as often as I would like (I'm still playing Fallout 4!) but I am looking forward to We Happy Few and No Man's Sky.

GarrettLikeCarrot2 karma

Do you have a boyfriend? Kidding how was it working on GTA?

Simwisesucks4 karma

Haha yes! I am a Mum now! What do you mean by GTA?

Lolleos2 karma

Is it true what they say about Hugh Hefner's orgies?

Simwisesucks3 karma

Can't say I ever went to one but I am sure they are as anti-climatic and gross as they have been described.

TheGreatElia2 karma

Did you ever have sex on a photoshoot?

Simwisesucks2 karma

Nope, never.

Lyacon1 karma

How many people were present at photoshoots? Did you ever feel shame to take off your cloths infront of random folks, that you dont know?

Simwisesucks3 karma

Nah, it didn't bother me at all. Maybe when I first started I was a little shy but by the end it just felt totally normal. I'd say on an average magazine shoot there could be about ten people there (hair, makeup, wardrobe, photographer, picture editor and then each might have an assistant) although a lot of the photographers I worked with were women.

danticvs1 karma

Been a fan of yours since attack of the show. For some reason I remember you loving a song by Phoenix and I love that song too now. What was it like working for G4TV? Can you give us any dirt on the crew from back then? I hope all is Awesome with you. What are you doing for life now?

Simwisesucks2 karma

Oh my days, that SONG! I still love it. It took me 7 YEARS to find that song (they used to play it at the Paris strip club I worked at and I could never find it, drove me crazy). G4TV were great to work for, really fun and professional. I only really got to work with Blair Herter and Kevin and both were super nice. Candace and Sara were really nice also.

Grimpler1 karma

Was you ever offered page3? And can you spot fake boobs just by a picture?

Simwisesucks7 karma

Yes, I did Page 3 for the Daily Star a few times and was the face of the Sunday Star for a year a long long time ago! I never did the Sun as at the time they wouldn't print redheads!? Bit random, but probably for the best as I don't agree with the paper politically. I've seen some good boob jobs in my time so I don't think you can always tell tbh.

[deleted]1 karma

[deleted]

Simwisesucks13 karma

Well, my daughter is a bit young to explain anything to (she's 2) but it's not something I plan on hiding. We have a few of my old pics around the house and I've kept a few photo albums so it is something that she will be brought up knowing about.

[deleted]-1 karma

[deleted]

Simwisesucks20 karma

Pics or it didn't happen.