I am Neil Bowlus from MAFS. Which one you ask? AMAA and find out!
My short bio:Hi you might remember me from such TV docu-series as Married at First Sight and...that's it. A redditor made me do this. I can't answer everything, but I'll do my best. Be sure to check out my new book and go watch my new movie! (neither of those exist)
My Proof: http://i.imgur.com/gdGYxYK.jpg
This has been fun, thank you for all the great questions! I hope that through this journey you all may have learned something along the way. I'll try to answer any other questions later. - Neil-
At the moment, friends is where I feel the most comfortable. Sam has made great strides in becoming the woman she is today and I am honored to be a part of that change. Btw, not creepy, just doing as a redditor would do.
Right on. As a follow-up: what was the most awkward part of this adventure?
The cameras are an odd thing to get use to, but the most awkward part was meeting Sam at the alter. As much as I tried to prepare myself mentally for it, it was weird.
We sat in that room for at least an hour before she came down. Neil had to be up there all alone for a really long time, everyone staring at him, i loved it.
I waited for 58 mins...
did you appear on MAFS to promote your rap career?
and did you deliver the infamous "i'm committed... to getting a divorce" line verbatim or did they edit it together? that was BRUTAL. all of our jaws dropped.
Haha! I take it you have seen my terrible rapping, so absolutely not. I've tried to get that removed from the interweb, but to no avail.
The decision delivery I saw on tv was shocking to me as well. I do not recall exactly what I said, but I don't remember it being so cold. If I did phrase it that way, it was a poor choice of words.
Thank you for the questions!
don't get it removed, it's awesome!
thanks for answering my questions. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. as a fellow onesie wearer, you were my favorite of the MAFS bunch.
Thank you, that's very kind of you to say. Onesies are life changing!
(I know these are suggies and they don't compare, I'm just going for the excitement here.)
Have you gotten to spend much time with Ashley and if so, is she as awful as she came across on the show?
I have not met Ashley. I'm sure she's a nice lady.
Follow-up (semi-related) question - it appears that you and the other guys from this season are at least cordial, if not friendly. Would you say that you guys are friends? Do you expect to spend time together now that the show is over?
We keep in regular contact and expect we will be spending some time together. We have a unique bond and we support each other. I think Tres and David are good guys.
Follow-up question (completely unrelated) - Is there a story behind your username?
Diarrhea was taken :(
I said the same thing after lunch today.
Ever get fed lines when you were shooting?
Never. Nothing was scripted. Our reactions/conversations/actions are all us.
Have you gotten a bunch of girls hitting on you via the internet now?
Negative. Mostly dudes.
What do they talk to you about?
I was kidding, there isn't any hitting on from either gender. I am a bundle of sticks, my apologies.
Are you part Canadian (or from the Midwest)? Your apologizing is relatable.
I am not Canadian and I hail from the great state of Texas. I listen to Drake and am a fan of Jim Carrey though. You are Canadian?
This makes me sad for you
Please don't be, I was just joshing. The online advances are minimal.
There was a scene where Sam called you Noodle Neil affectionately, did you like that nickname? because of Sam's history of emasculating you in the past?
I did not mind the nickname Noodle Neil and it wasn't meant in an emasculating way. She made that comment while we were in our first house, which had a pool, and early that day we had a conversation about pool noodles.
How did the cameras affect your personality in terms of the viewers and Sam getting to see the "real" you? It seems that you were very conscious of the cameras the entire time and never got entirely used to it.
Was there anything you really wished the show aired that happened off camera? In the same vein, how much of your decision was based on things that happened off camera?
- If you were to ask my friends and family, they would agree what you saw on tv was the same as you would get in person. Sam talked about "two Neils," which I explained, I treated the camera as if it were someone I would treat with respect. I cuss and make fun of my friends all the time, there was some verbal awareness, but no fundamental differences in personality or morals.
-Not really. I thought our story was represented accurately. Most of the factors that influenced my decision were witnessed by all, maybe 20% were off camera items.
Do your co-workers know that you're getting no work done right now?
I multi-task exceptionally well.
Hi Neil. I'm nervous to ask you stuff. Are you gonna grow your beard back?
Don't be nervous, it's my first time too. I'm not sure I'll make it back to Laser Jesus status, but I will forever be bearded.
good! it looks great either way. did Sam ever get the chance to meet your family besides on the wedding day?
Thank you! Unfortunately she did not. I wanted her to join me in Las Vegas for my cousins wedding, but we couldn't make it happen.
Neil was there any sexual frustration? I felt frustrated watching you and David not getting any play.
I thought you and Sam would stay together. It appears that you took it as an experience to learn and grow from which is always a positive.
What kind of beard oil do you use 😬
There was no sexual frustration. We talked early on about feeling comfortable intimately and letting it all happen naturally. I have learned a tremendous amount and the more you know, the more you grow!
Right now, I'm using this and it works great. It has a slight coconut smell to it. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0173MALY2?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00
Hi Neil, my husband and I loved you most. I mean, we still do. You know what I mean.
Question about the process: How did you guys swing paying double rent/mortgage and time (presumably) off work? Did the show cover costs?
I hope you find a super rad lady though this process :)
Hi /u/JenATaylia, thank you for the kind words and I know what you mean!
We filmed around work schedules so no time off was required other than the honeymoon (a week) and a couple days for the wedding. I'm sorry, I cannot comment on costs.
Thank you! :-)
Thank YOU for your AMA. :)
No, Thank You!!(http://i.imgur.com/5scYUDM.jpg)
Is this your way of saying you'll be back?
Lol, no, I'm not that cryptic.
Do you really like the name Sneil? Cause.. I think it sounds like a sick snail.
It's not that bad and it does sound like snail.
Hey Neil! I absolutely loved you on the show and really appreciated and admired your honesty. One question, did you and Sam really never even kiss? I mean I understand not having physical intimacy right away but I just feel like it would be crazy to make a decision like to stay married or get divorced without even kissing that person.
Thank you for the kind words! We kissed in the car on the drive back from Savannah, which viewers saw. That was the only kiss we had. For me there was a void in regards to a deeper connection that wasn't physical. I hope that answered your question.
Thanks for this! My mom and i loved watching MAFS together.
What was the best and worst moment during the course of filming that the cameras didn't show?
Glad to hear, thank you for watching /u/sincelastjuly!
Best moment: One night, while staying at Sam's place, I woke up at 3 am with a sense that someone was staring at me. When I opened my eyes, her dog (Marley, who's a sweetheart btw) was just looking at me. We locked eyes for about 30 secs and then I said, "Hi Marley," turned over and went back to sleep. I thought it was hilarious.
Worst moment: Almost getting in a head on collision during the honeymoon :-/ That was not fun.
What kinds of things are you not allowed to talk about through a NDA, and when does that NDA expire?
Hey /u/Beankiller, I think I answered the NDA question above and I do not believe the NDA expires.
Thanks for doing this AMA. My GF and I watch this show together and we saw a few similarities between your relationship and ours therefore felt quite invested in your pairing!
A couple of questions:
Do you regret the phrasing you used when requesting a divorce? It seemed unusually barbed for someone who had been so cautious with the feelings of others up until this point. (I've done this in the past myself when I've bottled up feelings.)
Is there one memory that sticks out from the whole process?
Great questions /u/shittytv! I am happy to hear y'all could relate and hopefully learn something along the way :-)
I don't recall exactly how I delivered the decision, but I am sure it was not as cold as it appeared. I probably could have phrased prior statements differently to avoid such. I try to be kind in my communication with others and I agree that the statement you saw was a out of character.
That's tough, but I'd say Sam's journey has been the thing that will stick out the most. I've never witnessed such a drastic change in someone and to be a part of that is humbling.
Do you have any recommendations for people who are going into blind dating or marriages?
How about people who are starting dating or have just been married?
Go into it with an open mentality and try not to put expectations on the person or relationship. We all have different communication styles, none are right or wrong. The trick is understanding them and building from there. Take this advice lightly, I'm no expert by any means. Good luck!
Would you recommend being a Married at First Sight participant to anyone?
Absolutely! MAFS is a truly rewarding experience and I would recommend it to everyone. You have to be a tad crazy though :-)
Hey Neil. I found you pretty entertaining (when you air whipped Sam's ass like a horse I died). I have a theory that more important than anything: expert advice/following "the process" couples really just need to bang it out. How much of the divorce decision to you really attribute to no physical chemistry/not having sex?
Interesting theory and definitely one that I can get behind (pun intended.) Physical chemistry/intimacy is key for me, but I didn't want to force anything in that dept. I'm not sure how much influence it would have had on my decision if we had banged it out.
Did you do retakes of shots?
On a couple of occasions, due to camera/lighting/power ect...
What type of things were generally covered by an NDAs?
The obvious thing is the outcome and then details about production.
Questions for Neil:
1) How many people from the production team are around during filming?
2) Did you and Sam have a different production team to the other couples?
Answers for /u/Erinnerungen:
1) In reference to 50-lb bags of salt, a gaggle.
2) Since we did not interact with the couples during filming, I assume so. But that's just a guess.
How often do you talk to Sam?
Now that you've done the show... would you re-do it? or did you not really like the experience?
It has been a wonderful experience. As difficult as it was, the knowledge and experiences gained are far more rewarding. I'm not sure I would marry a stranger again, but I would recommend it to my family, friends and redditors.
Who is your favorite rapper?
Hey Neil, I've got another! Did you really enjoy going to the shooting range? Were you kind of frightened of the combination of meeting Sam's dad (besides the wedding) and guns?
I did enjoy the shooting range! Sam's dad is great man and he made me feel like a son, couldn't ask for a better father in law.
Also your truck looked insanely huge. What do you use it for besides commuting? Or is that just a regular American sized vehicle?
It is excessive and I only use it for commuting or helping friends move stuff. I am from Texas though and it's just what we do:
1) Buy a truck
2) Put a lift and big tires on it
3) Drive through some mud
4) Now you are a Texan, yeehaw!
Questions for Neil:
1) For the viewers, 1 of the things we came to realise as we saw more of you and Sam is how truthful she is when she conveys something; that a person always knows where they are with Sam. However, we've also come to see the truth in some of her criticism of you, in relation to not conveying what you really think about things or creating a misleading picture of your thoughts on matters. Have you come to realise that your style of blind-siding people creates additional hurt and confusion for them, and leaves them wondering whether you are genuine?
2) It's hard for us watching to understand why you chose divorce, and not to keep trying for the next few months, to see what could grow without a production team in tow. Why weren't you tempted?
Answers for /u/Erinnerungen:
1) I completely agree. It's hard waking up each morning knowing your going to blind-side someone, but the determination to hurt and confuse them is what keeps me going. Forever alone.
2) I think I answered this one in another person's questions.
Questions for Neil:
1) Some of us watching feel you were hypocritical in blind-siding Sam with your decision. If her initial behaviour was so damaging, why didn't you convey that to her at the time?
2) Some of us watching feel you showed your true colours only on decision day, because you'd routinely conveyed an understanding of the need for patience and growth in an arranged marriage, but then did something totally at odds with that on decision day. Can you explain your unwillingness to keep trying?
Answers for /u/Erinnerungen:
1) Valid feeling given how it was presented. I wasn't aware her initial behavior was so damaging until Sam became more affectionate in the last week and a half. She was aware of my difficulties and I spoke with the experts about it. Unfortunately, not everything was able to get aired.
2) I can't give you an answer that will likely suffice, but I'll try. I was conflicted on decision day and after speaking with the experts, I knew what I needed to do in order to be happy. I understand how that comes across to viewers and I'm okay with it.
I like your questions.
Questions for Neil:
1) Have you considered why you cannot let sleeping dogs lie, regarding Sam's previous behaviour, given she appears to have changed and apologised? Can you explain to us why you can't see beyond that behaviour? You seem to accept her apologies, but don't ever forgive and let it go.
2) 3 of the 4 experts have confirmed they won't return next season. What should we read into that?
Answers for /u/Erinnerungen:
1) Good question and one I've thought at length about. For myself the answer lies more with a forgive and forget mentality. I forgive Sam, if I didn't, we wouldn't be friends. However, there is an impression there and it something I have to navigate through, or around, or avoid. I hope that makes sense.
2) I wouldn't read into it. The experts are wonderful and I am grateful for everything they have done for us. It's kind of like a pro sports team, if the team is terrible, someone has to be responsible and it's usually the coach.
Question(s) for Neil:
Sam has said you met with her dad prior to giving your decision. Did you ask to meet him, or did he ask to meet you? If it was instigated by you, why? What did you discuss?
I did not prompt that discussion with her Dad and that is a private conversation.
/u/RockinghamRaptor902 Is this enough proof?
I can provide nudes if needed. I do not have a recent sharpie count, sorry.
I just watched the 6 month follow-up last night and tried some Google-fu to get more info (creepy I know). Is there any chance of you and Sam getting back together or is she permanently in the friend zone?
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