I'm a bail bondsman, AMA.

Is there anything you should talk about with your bail bondsmen before your final court appearance?

mmm... most of the time people just get probation so the final court date really isn't the end all/be all. For more serious crimes you'll have a lawyer so they should tell you what to expect. Sometimes they will take you straight to jail, but most of the time they give you a few days to get your affairs in order (to the dismay of bondsmen).

Burton Gilliam talked to my highschool class during a famous alumni thing. He was a great guy and had plenty of entertaining stories to tell ranging from his childhood, firefighter stuff, him becoming famous, and so on. I loved the "I also play golf" on his business card too. How was your experience with him?

I was hoping someone would ask about him! You are 100% correct. Let me tell you about this guy. I LOVED Burton. Talk about a genuine personality. Just being around him I felt like a happier person. He just seemed like he really fortunate with how his life turned out and didn't have a worry in the world. Super professional. There aren't alot of people I gravitate to immediately but he was one of them. He offered to go hang out sometime and play golf but I'm not a big golfer. If anyone has a chance to meet him, go shake his hand. Nicest guy in the friggin world

How often do you get offered sex in lieu of fees?

I have NEVER been offered sex.... yet. if this is commonplace then maybe I'm just not the type of guy a girl in jail would go for =/

How do you feel about being an active part of a system that profits substantially off of the thousands of people incarcerated not because they are necessarily guilty of the crimes for which they have been arrested, but because they do not have the assets to meet their money bond?

Complicated answer. I'm in what I call a "no-pass" industry. If you play craps you know what a no-pass player is. People who profit off of other peoples bad times. It sucks. Sometimes it's just plain shitty. I have always said if people stop going to jail, you wouldn't hear one complaint from me. I'd go find another job and do it with a smile on my face. I always ask people what they think is a better solution to the bondsman industry, and most people will say pre-trial release. But there are flaws in that system just as they're are with the bondsman system. If someone flees from court in P-TR, there's noone to hold accountable for that person not going to court. You think the police are going to hunt down a guy for missing an assault case when they're backed up with meth and aggravated robberies? Hell no. So when our client misses court, we're on the hook for that person. We have to go find them, and place them back in jail. And, they did a study not too long ago that showed bail bondsmen were more effective at getting people to court than P-TR

It's not a perfect system by any means, but there never will be.

Why did you copy better call Saul?

Also, the commercials are pretty great overall.

Thanks alot! We put alot of thought into them. It was a really fun experience.

And I'm not quite sure about the copying better call saul part. I know hes from breaking bad but I've never watched that show.

Yeah, and your thing has an alliteration. Better Call Bubba

yep. our name is pure alliteration. I always say alliteration is always alluring

What's your favorite Tarantino flick?

haha. true romance!

True Romance? Good fucking movie.

brad pitt killed it in that movie.

The tutu commercial was hilarious. Do you hire bounty hunters to pick up people who default on their payments?

We do have a bounty hunter actually. He has one leg. Nice guy. He usually just picks people up when they miss court. It's amazing how influential a guy with one leg can be..

How did you come across a one-legged bounty hunter? This begs for a reality show.

He would be perfect for it too. He's a character. Hardcore prepper. Always has a few assault rifles and a bag of assorted currency in his trunk for whenever "they" come. He wasn't one legged when I first met him, he was just a normie. Lost his leg to a nasty infection from a nail that went through his foot.

Have you ever helped someone that you could just TELL were probably not guilty of what they were being charged for? I have an uncle who is a bondsman and I love the stories he tells about the people he meets. Have you ever met someone that you didn't feel probably met the general demographic of your customers?

oh god yes. after hearing the stories we can usually tell which ones will be going to court and which ones the DA will dismiss as soon as the police report comes across his/her desk. I mean that's if they aren't lying of course. Alot of times people go to jail just for being an accomplice to something. Someone who is with someone who was stealing something and they didn't even know they did it. The other big one is when someone lies to the cops. Makes a false police report. One woman got charged for murder just from two people's testimony. Another time a girlfriend got mad at her boyfriend because she found out he had a wife in another state. She knocked herself on the head pretty hard and then told the police she was beat by said boyfriend. Crazy shit.

I sometimes get wifes/mom in their late 30's/ early 40's who seem to have EVERYTHING you could possibly want in life, and just get really bored with life and do something completely out of character. For instance we got this woman with 3 teenage children, house paid off, husband makes good money, decided to try out stealing from the rental property she was in charge of. Started taking peoples rent money.

Wow. What do you think was the worst police report to come across your desk? Highest paid bail?

I actually never see the police reports, just hear the stories. The highest paid bail I've done so far was... 150,000.00. this is texas though. if you want to talk about high bails, go to california. They're bail amounts make ours look like chump change

Are bounty hunters typically hired on contract or as an employee?

If the former, are they given a flat rate to catch someone?

contracted. usually a flat rate anywhere between 10 and 20 percent of the bond depending on how much work is involved getting that person

Did you deliberately design videos that have a potential to go viral, or was local television your only goal?

never expect them to go viral, but if they did I wouldn't be surprised. We put alot of thought into them. One of the those commercials I've had in my head for about... 3 years. Just never had the money to make it till last year. They are on local tv currently

A part* unless you mean he wasn't part of it....

Anyway, what's the ratio of black to white bailers?

thanks I fixed it.

Believe it or not its pretty 50/50. Drugs don't have a color preference. We also get ALOT of college kids stealing from wal-mart. In fact I just got out this poor college kid (white, since thats the topic at hand) who got caught shoplifting art supplies for her art class...

P.S. never steal from wal-mart, they have some of the best loss prevention in the business.

Mods removed your post..

they did why?

Hey its back again

sweet thanks. Wonder why I'm getting downvoted though

Are different bounty hunters better at bringing in different people?

How many bounty hunters do you have on call?

We only have one usually. You have to be licensed. Back in the days of yore (or the wild west as we affectually call it) you didn't even need to be licensed. A bondsman could knock on a clients door, tellem to get in the back of the car, and drive them right to the front steps of the jail no problems. Now adays they call that kidnapping. whatever. So anyway to answer your question, no, bounty hunters aren't like doctors where they specialize. Once you have a good hunter you tend to use him for everything, unless you've got alot of people on the run you need back in jail in a hurry. Then you call more.

Those commercials are pretty damm great, I had a good chuckle.

What's the strangest you've ever experienced?

strangest what?

I meant strangest experience. Sorry about that.

here's the problem after doing this for awhile. Nothing is strange anymore. I have heard some of the weirdest shit you could imagine and the best reaction I can give to most of these stories is a light chuckle or shoulder shrug. Really desensitizing. And what's worse, when I'm in public outside of work, you really forget what's appropriate table talk and whats not. When someone I'm having a conversation with tells me about their friend who's lost alot of weight and has kinda been flighty lately, I shouldn't immediately assume their friend is on meth. That maybe they've just been working out more and busy at work. So anyway what I'm saying is nothing really comes out as strange anymore...

but to answer your question, many moons ago we bonded out a state congressman's personal escort. Of course they never came straight out and said it, but you do this long enough you can read between the lines. We all had a good laugh about it

How do you feel about Dog the Bounty Hunter?

momma told me to not to say anything if I don't have anything nice to say.

Would you have said no to Jackie Brown?

highly unlikely

What is the most comedically tragic thing you have seen in your job?

oh man... the one story I love to tell is about this girl who I bonded out for an assault charge. Picture the cutest little asian girl you've ever met. She probably topped out at 5 foot in high heels. About 21 years old. I mean she could have been plucked straight from a cartoon. I bond her out and she comes in for paperwork the same day. Now once you've been doing this job for long enough, you'll know that certain charges come with common bond amounts. If someone gets arrested for a DWI, your bond will probably be 1000-2000 dollars. DWI 2nd, 5000 dollars, and so on. Assaults go for 1000 bucks. This girl had a 4000 dollar assault charge.

She comes in with her boyfriend, her face filled with shame. I tell her her bond amount was pretty high for this charge and asked what happened. She looks down and doesn't want to talk about it. Her boyfriend on the other hand, was foaming at the mouth from excitement. He told me they went out the night before on fry street, the local college bar street, and this cute lil munchkin girl was throwing drinks down like shes a pro. Except she's not, right. She 21 and 103 pounds. Anyway, the night rolls on and it's closing time, there's a sandwich shop walking distance so they stop over before heading home. This snack size Asian is obliterated. Can hardly walk. Can hardly speak. She can stand, but it looks more like she's auditioning as a dancer for M.J.'s smooth criminal. She gets to the cashier and begins to order her sandwich, but the cashier can't even understand her. She's totally incoherent. She might as well have been speaking mandarin. So they're going back and forth, the cashier trying to put the pieces together, trying to be professional, meanwhile tila tequila over here is getting more and more agitated. The banter back and forth is not making her happy. She just wants her fucking sandwich. So she starts raising her voice at the cashier. Finally the cashier, bless her heart, has lost patience. She puts in the order, whether it's right or wrong, whatever. Asian gets her sandwich, sits down, and sees the sandwich is NOT what she ordered. So she does the only sensible thing anyone would do in this scenario. She gets up, goes back to the cashier, and starts cursing her out. Cashier has no more fucks to give anymore, and has lost all professionalism at the point so she starts cursing back. After a few f-bombs dropped back and forth, mini Bruce Lee has had enough. With the sandwich in her hand, she climbs up on the counter, and starts beating the cashier WITH THE SANDWICH! The cashier, not to be outdone, form tackles this girl straight to the ground where at that point both were restrained, and the police were called.

TL;DR: Don't fuck with a drunk asian and her sandwich.

Can I ask how expensive the commercials were? I'd say the production is fantastic.

Thanks! All props to THMedia. They produced it. And they did a great job. Great people too. Cost I'd rather not say exactly but somewhere around 20-60k.

How did you become a bail bondsman?

This is the question I get almost everyday. The real answer is REALLY boring, so I made one up so people would be more fascinated.

I used to traffic cocaine from mexico and finally got caught. Did a year in prison. While I was there I became good friends with one of the jailors in my block and found out he was a bondsman before working becoming a jailor. So he would tell me all about it, and all the funny stories that came with it. Since I had nothing better to do I did my research on it because it sounded like something fun to do. Then when I got out I started my own bail bonds place.

The real answer is I worked for a bond company while I was going to college. Found out I was really good at it and stuck with it. The end...

Are you guys hiring?

At this very moment, no. But always looking for people with common sense. Will hire more at the end of the year probably.

Do bail bondsmen in your state have any special rights beyond that of a non-LEO? Or do you simply use your citizen's arrest powers?

Nada. And in texas citizen's arrest is only allowed when a crime is currently being committed, not if someone has a warrant. So citizen's arrest mean diddly squat to bondsmen.

[deleted]

we get paid up front :). but we have had our fair share of "smoking hot chicks"