Comments: 2601 • Responses: 32  • Date: 

128769672 karma

Opinions on "Rape culture 101, from a guy, to the skeptical dudes"?


also your opinions on this stance:

"It sounds to me as though you have a somewhat misinformed understanding about what feminists mean when they use the term "rape culture". Obviously, I can't speak for what everyone means when they use it, but let me at least try to broaden the scope of the term a little bit.

First off, of course society explicitly expresses contempt for rapists. This isn't what the term means. "Rape culture" does not refer to explicit views. Instead, it refers to the mixed messages that get expressed with regard to sexual assault, harassment, and consent. Here are a few examples: * Despite a strong intolerance for rape, the notion of active consent is rarely an active discussion topic; in books about how to teach your children about sex, teaching them about the importance of consent is often not a strong priority.

--Despite strong explicit views about rape, when high-profile cases of rape occur, sometimes individuals are quick to excuse the rapists for other reasons (e.g., celebrity status; sporting achievements; academic tenure; notions of the victim "deserving it" because of clothing choices, intoxication, or past sexual promiscuity).

--Strong cultural norms regarding relationships and sex teach women to play "hard to get" (i.e., say "no" when they mean "yes"), and teach men to ignore initial negative responses to persuade women to say "yes". As a source, watch virtually any romance movie ever.

--Despite the fact that most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows, rape is often portrayed in a "stranger-in-the-bushes" kind of way. This allows individuals who violate consent to consider themselves "not rapists", because they are not specifically targeting strangers.

As I hope I've made clear with these few examples, the idea of "rape culture" is not about a culture that explicitly endorses rape. It's about a culture that says it abhors it, while failing to change social norms and institutions that actually help to cultivate sexual assault. Note that this doesn't mean there are people out there that actually are trying to ensure that people are sexually assaulted; it just means that, out of ignorance or support of the status quo, we as a society end up reinforcing these norms and institutions, to our own detriment."


LaurenSouthern452 karma

I realize feminists have redefined the word, and I strongly stand against the redefinition. Women are killed for the crime of being raped in the middle east, while feminists here have the gall to say being whistled at is a symptom of a rape culture.

It is trivializing what a real rape culture is and is intentionally fear mongering to push a feminist narrative. There are Muslims who commit acts of terror, and because of this some news stations will say we are at war with Islam or with Muslims. I think that is wrong because we are not at war with Islam or Muslims we are at war with radical Islam.

This makes a difference, because if you say we are at war with Muslims or Islam it can create for islamphobia and make people prejudice towards Muslims. The same way if you say we are in a rape culture it can make people afraid of men, or it can make people equate being flirted with or withdrawing consent the next morning with rape.

Exaggeration and fear mongering has consequences.

blizzardof77207 karma

Hi Lauren,

During the end of your video you had a discussion regarding interviewees giving you consent to use footage you took of them, and during the interview you posed the question "If a woman gives consent the night before, but retracts that consent the next day and reports the man as being a rapist that's ok?"

A: how did that conversation end after the woman said your question was "Irrelevant."

B: What makes a feminist believe that it's ok to do something like that? I have a close friend who had a similar situation happen to him. After 6 months of torture the woman broke down and said everything she had said prior was a lie. Very difficult to watch a friend go through something like that.

LaurenSouthern285 karma

The Rebel did all of the footage editing, I just searched my computer to see if I had the clip and couldn't find it :(. I honestly can't remember how it ended.

I have also had friends of mine have their fathers, brothers, boyfriends etc. falsely accused of assault or rape and it is VERY difficult to watch someone go through that. I have received a depressing amount of messages from men thanking me for my videos and telling me their stories of being falsely accused.

I honestly believe it is because of the feminist culture encouraging them to demonize men. Also gender studies courses, tumblr and feminist literature changing the definition of consent and rape. After being immersed in feminist content I wouldn't be surprised if they genuinely believed they were raped. It would explain why they are so passionate.

aabbccbb154 karma

Hi Lauren,

In this video, you show a 5 minute clip of your silent protest and also allege it was that particular 5 minutes that people were criticizing you for. My question is this: You had cameras with you at all times at the walk. There are hours of footage. Could you release that footage, unedited, so that we can see everything that happened? If you really did not do anything offensive, and those making the allegations are really as dishonest as you claim, that should bolster your case.

LaurenSouthern84 karma

Sure, I will ask for the rest of the footage and upload it all. I don't think it will make for a very interesting video, because a lot of it is just me talking/arguing with a crowd that comes around me. You're right though I could make my case stronger. :) It may take me a little bit to get and upload the footage but wait for it on my youtube channel!

Gockel111 karma

Hey Lauren.

This sudden rise in popularity from the Slut Walk videos going viral probably gave you a lot of exposure, negative and positive. How do you deal with this? Everybody who puts themselves out there will get critics, but your case is very special since it's already a very polarizing subject by itself. Do you feel more threatened or strenghtened by the "internet community" in general, and how does the ratio of "fans vs haters" make you feel about the relevance of the two standpoints?

LaurenSouthern119 karma

It's been a really strange experience overall. Yesterday I had someone on the street ask for a picture with me. I never figured my videos would get as big as they did. At first I was pretty afraid of the extremist feminists since I had witnessed what they had done to others. But after seeing the support from various youtubers, Reddit and twitter it has taken away a lot of fear I initially had and I'm so happy to have such a large community of people who challenge the feminist narrative supporting me :) I won't lie though, it was pretty stressful at first having all of my friends send me positive or negative articles about me. For a while I had trouble just sitting down and reading or watching T.V. because I was so nervous about what people were saying about me. I've been coping with it a lot better now though.

Chaosdada42 karma

How would you describe The Rebel?

LaurenSouthern73 karma

It is certainly bias and caters to a right wing audience, but they aren't secretive about that. I would argue most media in Canada is fairly Liberal, so I'm happy to see Rebel offer a different view. I like all points of views to be made public, and both sides ask different types of challenging questions. The Rebel offers a different take on issues in Canada, so regardless of political affiliation I think it's important to have that option there.

LaurenSouthern31 karma

Ok, making a quick post since this seems to have become a bunch of people talking about my climate change video. I like to be a contrarian, and I enjoy looking into views that aren't necessarily mainstream. Feminism is a topic I am very passionate about. Global warming is not something I am particularly passionate about, but I find the past predictions that ended up being wrong interesting. This is a topic I am open to changing my mind on. I am still very young and I expect my views to change and adapt, and for those of you who are angry about my current opinions, try to think back to if you held the same views a few years ago that you do now. I'm sorry if I have disappointed you with my current opinions, that was obviously not my intention. I will look into the topic more and watch some documentaries, seeing as everyone seems to be very reasonable on the topic of feminism I do trust this groups judgement on things. Please give me some time to look into this more and suggest documentaries, books etc. below. Thank you!

Juan_de_las_Nieves29 karma

What are your predictions for tonight's Game of Thrones episode?

LaurenSouthern26 karma

Not caught up yet! I was just watching a few episodes last night though :)

MPS18628228 karma

Hi Lauren, I just recently found your videos and I really appreciate what you do.

Was there a specific event or moment that inspired you to get into making the kind of videos that you do, or was it a slow progression over time?

LaurenSouthern70 karma

Slow progression over time, I used to go on Tumblr when I was in high school and I could not follow anyone's logic on the site. Seeing all of the man-hating really turned me off of feminism.

mollydolly9310 karma

If you had a shrink ray who would you shrink and what would you so with them?

LaurenSouthern36 karma

I would want to shrink down Putin and keep him as a pet with my hedgehog. I think they would make good friends, and he would look epic if I gave my hedgehog a saddle for him. :)

LordManaMan6 karma

Hey Lauren, I think what you're doing is pretty great and I give you mad props for being able to stick up to the hive mind! I go to the high school that used to go to and I've been seeing a decent amount of students from my grad (12) just roasting you on facebook and what not.

My question is: When you make these videos, how do you feel about the people from your old school or work reacting to it in a bad way? (ie. shunning you, blocking you, going on rants, sending you hate mail). Does it make you sad or angry or disappointed in their reaction?

I've wanted to make some form of videos for awhile, but I've always been albeit, a bit scared that the people I used to know would just trash on me and that would be my lasting impression of me. Because of that I've always thought of just not telling them I make videos until I have some what of a larger fanbase. Anyway, good luck with your degrees and future work and thanks for doing this AMA!

LaurenSouthern42 karma

It upset me at first, but I've come to realize that most of those people who slander me or delete me off facebook aren't interested in a debate. They would rather have everyone on their facebook agree with them and stay in a hugbox of people who repeat their views back at them. I'm not interested in being around those kind of individuals, especially if they can't be polite and use personal attacks instead of focus on the argument.

I have lots of friends who disagree with me, and I have the utmost respect for them, because they are willing to debate me without getting emotional about it.

Those are the kinds of people you want in your life, the others want to silence you. Doesn't matter what your views are, it's usually a good idea to surround yourself with people who are interested in a debate instead of name calling or going into trigger comas.

I encourage you to make your video! Those who disagree with you and still support you are real friends :)

markcabal3 karma

Hi Lauren! First off, thanks for what you do. Being involved in what I'd call the pro-sanity movement in this day and age takes a lot of courage. The media, full of people brainwashed by ideological academia, has become a new church, promoting McCarthyist fear of all kinds of harmless people who take issues with the direction society is going.

A few questions:

1) Have you had any friends end your friendship because of your views?

2) What do you think the media will do if there's a popular backlash against their increasingly ideological narrative? Do you think they will just take a break from pushing it, or do you think they'll double down?

3) What do you think is the future of your kind of activism given various communities are starting to cooperate, realizing we're fighting the same enemy (GamerGate, alternative conservatives and progressives, equality feminists, MRAs)? Do you think some sort of umbrella organization could be successful to consolidate our collective power?

LaurenSouthern4 karma

Thank you markcabal! Social sciences have become a joke in Universities for the most part, I agree. Being in political sciences I have certainly taken a hit to my grades for not being a Marxist. Luckily I have started to figure out which professors are more moderate, you can find them!

1) I had plenty of people delete me off facebook, a few good friends.

2) They'll double down, it's going to be very difficult seeing as the media who support SJW, feminist, cultural marxist narratives have Hollywood and academia behind them. It is hard to get a populace to think when throughout high school and university they have been taught there is only one narrative and the other side are evil, misogynistic, racist shitlords.

3) I think the online presence is really starting to have an impact. I know the like bar on my video is making radical feminists furious. I think there are specific issues that will allow collective power to be used, however I don't think it's a good idea to just force us all into a hive mind. Disagreement and debate is good in my mind as long as you are thinking and being respectful. SJW's don't seem to want freedom of speech or disagreement, which is one thing I think will unite people who are pro-freedom of speech and pro-debate.

unfaze73 karma

It was great to see you stand up to the feminist, do you plan on attending anymore rallies? Do you feel like you might need security if you do?

LaurenSouthern6 karma

The Rebel actually called me and offered me security for the next thing I go to lol. I don't know if I would actually need it, I don't think anyone has been killed at a feminist rally yet.

dunstonss3 karma

Would you be open to doing something like this again in other cities or was this just a one off?

LaurenSouthern8 karma

I would love to do this in other cities, it would be cool to have others come with me as well!

Cheddar_Curtain1 karma

Hey Lauren, great video. I found it through a post here on Reddit. So my question is what are your plans for the future? Do you plan on doing more pieces such as that for Rebel Media or do you have something else in store?

LaurenSouthern4 karma

Glad you enjoyed the video! I was hoping to get into law when I'm done my political sciences degree. Need to bring up my GPA though. I will definitely do more pieces for Rebel, it's just hard with school and a full time job though lol.

UKhairyman5 karma

what type of job are you doing?

LaurenSouthern3 karma

I help run a restaurant and a coffee shop.