IamA 536 pound 40 year old man who lives a very public life. AMA!

Why wouldn't you get help?

You're going to die, bro. Just like my fat friend who had a heart attack at fucking 38 years old - it's not healthy.

Seriously, you have a health condition that needs to be addressed if you want to live. I'm telling you this because people seem to be glossing over a very real danger - you keeling over, grasping your chest, and never making it to the ER.. Sound harsh? That's because I've seen it and it's horrible and sad.

Get yourself some help, amigo. Your health should be more important to you.

Edit: and stop drinking diet soda - that shit is fucking you up.

Edit again: I don't really care what people think - OP's weight is a FUCKING PROBLEM and he needs to deal with it if he wants to live. Watching an overweight friend turn grey, hit his knees, and gulp air like a fish while he dies of a heart attack is not something you want to witness ever in your fucking life. His wife shouldn't have to go through that - no one should. The truth isn't always palatable - but that doesn't change this person's situation. Get the help you need OP.

I am working with help. see an endocronologist currently, nutritionist, the works. we're doing everything we can.

the help I think i need next to seriously consider is bariatric surgery and rehab. both of which are next in line provided we get to a point that we can do so.

thanks for the love and advice, my friend. you are correct. thanks for doing your best to scare me straight.

How is your sexual life? Not to be rude, but I'm pretty curious how larger men are doing in bed. No homo.

When I was very young I realized that I'd never be able to fuck the way other men could. I also knew I was not very attractive.

I knew that if I got a woman to go to bed with me I would have to be able to know what I was doing to compensate for my many issues.

I learned to do everything I could and I've had no complaints, so far.

TL:DR lots of hand and mouth stuff.

How worried are you about your health? It must be scary in a way being such a big guy.

terrified shitless. Every day that I wake up, I'm surprised.

What is your diet like in a regular day?

Like, breakfast, lunch, dinner ?

(You said: AMA about being a fatty fat fatterson)

It depends on the day. On a "Good" day when I maintain complete control I'll tend to target about 2,000 calories.

On a good day:

Since I am nocturnal normally my first meal is 'dinner' which i share with my wife. My wife will make a main entree that's normally a lean protein, beef, chicken, or pork. Sometimes its a fattier one (we'll do steak about once a week). Normally there's something like mushrooms on the side. Sometimes we have a desert. Normally its a 100-200 calorie ice cream bar of some sort or another.

I often have a can of diet soda with dinner.

For 'lunch' which is a meal i have myself I tend to eat either a frozen meal, or a processed low carb snack. those p3 protein packs are a favorite. Sometimes I'll have one, maybe two of those.

My final meal of the day tends to be more meats. I'll have 6-7 frozen chicken wings microwaved, or a half a bag of shrimp. Good stuff.

NOW ON A BAD DAY in which my OCED or PTSD is ruling the roost, i might hit as high as 6,000 or 7,000 calories.

I'll eat mostly the same thing, but stuff in between as well as larger portions during the meals. sometimes I'll eat those usual 3 meals but also hit tacobell or mcdonalds, etc. I fuck up hard.

Damn, i can only wish for your appetite.

You know how to count calories at least, most people dont do that, what stops you from actually following through?

Because at your age, it's really, really dangerous to be at that weight.

For me, its 3 factors.

First, I really do like food. like quite a lot.

but I suffer from PTSD. this has to do with a very abusive childhood. this PTSD has led me to OCED (obsessive compulsive eating disorder). Easiest way to think of it is like one of those "my strange addiction" episodes where the person is eating couch cushions or something. I basically do that, but instead of couches its food.

that OCED gets worse when my PTSD flares and my PTSD is a daily occurance. Some days I can find other ways to cope. Some days I fail and turn to food. Those days suck.

rarely, maybe a couple times a month, I'll have a 'bad' meal out of pleasure. but that's quite commonly short lived due to the guilt that follows.

If every obese person owned up to having a reason for eating more than they should instead of trying to justify their bad habits, there would be less animosity between fitness freaks and fatties. I think most people won't begrudge someone their weight gain if they can talk about the true reasons for it. You've been through some shit and you admit it and I respect that.

unfortunately those who are inclined to hate obese people will just say things like "MY CUNDISHINS" and "MAH GENETICS" and so on and so forth.

I honestly believe many of the people who hate on fatties do as much or more justifying of their behaviors as the fatties themselves.

Do you realise you sound like an alcoholic who has almost drank himself to death, and instead of change, rationalizes it.

You dont understand me, im in pain. It's a sickness.

You can be in pain and healthy weight too. (in a few years) Kind of not too late, might even find more subscribers/fans that way.

I am, in fact, enacting change as we speak. have been in the process of the last 4 years. path i've been on is not much different from an alcoholics, actually.

How are them knees holdin' up?

Oh, about 536 pounds.

i loved this one. :)

have you ever consider a surgery for removing weight/fat?

I have! Locally the doctors won't touch me. I have to reach either a much lower BMI (60) or be 450 pounds for either of the local surgeons to work on me.

We have considered going out of network (which would be expensive) to somewhere like vegas or dallas that does these kinds of surgeries. Alternatively we have hoped we'd find a surgeon that would come here... however local hospitals simply cannot handle my weight and size, so where it would be done I have no clue.

but if I can reach 450 pounds, at this point, I'm going to gladly allow them to do what needs doing.

Were you physically active or did you play any sports when you were younger? About how old were you when you started to gain excessive weight?

I had a LOT of trouble with it because I was always sick. Or maybe I wasn't, as some therapists have told me it was Munchhausen syndrome.

I did manage to get out and play football for a year until I broke my arm. I struggled and was never allowed to play but at least I got in some practices.

I was also in marching band but would often lose my breath and have ashthma attacks so they created a drum pit, put me there, and thee I excelled.

I was about 4 when I started gaining excessive weight. Mom said she fought with me at first, physically harming me even to keep me away from food. She said I'd eat raw margarine out of the fridge when she wasn't looking. Eventually she not only stopped fighting but purposely endulged. She told me later in life that she hoped if I got fat enough I'd never be able to leave her.

What're you enjoying at the moment in the world of movies, TV, games, snacks?

And does 40 feel like the new 30? I'm soon peering over 30 and it doesn't feel like the new 20, I think those turdsniffers were lying to me.

Lately I've been rewatching the american office, and excited about Orange is the new black. Loved avengers. Loved Mad Max. Loved the Witcher 3. Loved Ark: Survival Evolved. Snacks... i've had them all at this point so now its just repetition. But I love me some chicken wings as of late :P

40 feels like the new 30 to me but that's because I only feel like my life started 5 years ago when I met my wife and I started this whole youtube career. It also hurts that I'm a perpetual manchild. Mentally I still feel 16.

But being old isn't bad... as long as you have your health. Lose it, and everything sucks no matter how old you are :P

Will you be back on PKA anytime soon? You're my favorite guest.

Also, are you always up this late?

Thanks!

1) one day again :)

2) i'm nocturnal!

Is there anything you would really like to do, that your current weight would be a limitation to?

these days my weight is limiting almost everything I do. its terrible.

I'd love to go on a walk with my wife. I'd love to be able to drive on a road trip. I'd love to be able to fly without it being an ordeal.

If I was dreaming big, I'd be able to goto the cons and trade shows that many of my collegues in gaming and/or youtube attend often. I'd love to accept the money for paid appearances I've been offered at those shows.

Or even bigger yet, I'd like to live to around 80. :)

Christ, you can do all that, just stop eating junk food.

I could be an astronaut firefighter?

Is...is there fire in space?

You wear your heart on your sleeve, I think that makes you a more well developed human than most of us here. I really hope you achieve the things that you want to achieve.

thank you. I'm nothing if not sensitive.

I know it's early to tell. but how much Fallout 4 do you think you'll be streaming?

all of it :)

1) Do you like First person shooter videogames? What is your favourite?

2) Have you ever tried orlistat to treat your obesity?

I'm also morbidly obese and this drug is helping me, it may also help you.

1) i do but i like goal oriented ones, not arena ones. Loved borderlands 1 and 2, for example.

2) nope but i'm currently on a few drugs myself. Contrave and Bedidan or something like that!~ I'll ask my doc about orlistat as well!

What is your favorite dinosaur?

Brontosaurus.

I love the look and size of him, but they just seem so fucking docile. He seems like he'd be fun to chill with.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grow up? What stopped you and do you regret it?

At one point I wanted to be a fireman, cause my dad volunteered. At one point I wanted to be a preacher, but I lost my faith. At one point I wanted to be an astronaut, but realized that would likely never happen.

But eventually I settled on wanting to entertain. For a while that was be a professional WWF wrestler. Then later it was stand up comic.

I am actually LIVING my dream. I entertain people every single day on twitch and youtube. I may not be body slamming people, or telling shitty jokes for 50 bucks a set... but I'm doing just fine and loving it :)

Ah, nice :) As a kid, I wanted to be a policeman... For a while I had no idea what I'd want to do, and now I'm working an office job, dreaming of a property outside the city and growing my own food. That's not crazy, is it?

not at all!

My wife got a writing degree. That writing degree has lead her to climbing the rungs of the home office of largest corporation of the world. While her dream of being a big time editor serving the rock stars of writing may be on hold, she's living her dreams of enjoying her job and home life :)

we just bought our Dream House and we're loving it. Its a very satisfying goal. I hope you reach it soon!

When is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIWMQE5Y1_A coming back and what are your thoughts on Ron Paul :)

I loved that character. No one else did. It was terribly embarassing and awful but I loved the self-parody haha

I don't really do live streams on youtube any more, instead I tend to focus on twitch. I do miss youtube streams tho!

also, i do like Ron Paul. I'm more of a Bernie Sanders man tho.

I haven't heard of you before (I just don't watch a lot of streaming content), but you seem like a really cool person! Which of your videos would you recommend I watch first? I love comedy.

I would recommend starting with my "draw my life" :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ1cUup0ATg

Do you vote Democrat or Republican? (I'm a big fan, btw. LOVE Francis!)

based on what I learned in school I actually thought I'd end up republican. I like small government, low taxes, and personal freedoms.

Turns out that during my lifetime that's not so much what the republicans have been about. I've ended up voting democrat mostly because I care a lot about social programs, space exploration, and infrastructure of this nature.

I've voted democrat in every election, save for a few independents for a few seats.

thanks for being a fan :)

What is your favorite movie? Along with that, who is your favorite artist/band?

Hard to say.

Probably my favorite band is "cake". just love their sound. also, they are named after food.

favorite movie... fight club? princess bride? maybe a tie between the two.

Have you ever thought of trying out /r/keto for weight loss? It would work out great because it will inhibit your hunger and cravings.

it worked wonders for me when i've tried it. The only measurably weight loss I have had is while calorie counting and doing /r/keto.

Its pretty difficult to do an exclusive diet though with OCED. But restricting myself in this way, when successful, works wonders. I just have great difficulty keeping it up.

Other then what you've said in your videos, how should we deal with life's challenges?

with persistence and ambition.

Basically I believe we are born into this life with a guarantee of pain and a hope of happiness. We will all suffer in one form or another. we'll all have our heart broken. our loved ones will die. we will try new things and fail at them. we will die our deaths.

But joy has to be created. It is only through hard work and a never die attitude that you will create it. Given in to entropy the human experience is quite terrible. But with ambition we can create good things. We can't overcome the promised pain, but we can numb it by changing the world for the better. :)

Could you list 5 games that everyone should play at least once in a lifetime?

Hrm.

Pac-Man Super Mario RPG The Legend of Zelda The Last of Us Candy Crush

Pac-man teaches you how a game looks in its raw state. to me its the ultimate 'arcade' game. Super Mario RPG is perfect RPG and its the RPG that I gauge all others by. The Legend of Zelda, the OG, shows how the RPG formula can be turned into an action game, and teaches how to push a machine to its limits. Candy Crush shows what a 'casual' game is while also teaching the wrong business models that can destroy your game. Last of Us shows us how emotion can perfectly compliment gameplay.

Not sure this is a perfect list but its my rough draft!

So can i ask what lifestyle changes you are making to your diet if any? From what ive read on this AMA so far it sounds like you are trying a ketogenic diet. The diet centers around eating healthy fats and forcing your body into ketogenesis which is getting your body to use its own fat stores to fuel your body instead of relying on fast energy from carbs and sugars. You mentioned eating some kind of low carb bar and eating lots of protein and those are signatures of a keto diet.

If you arent doing this diet, you should ckeck it out over at /r/keto. There is also a subreddit dedicated to keto recipes you can make at home. Just google keto recipes reddit and it should show up. It has everything from meals to snacks to desserts even that you can make at home. Ive found it invaluable.

Also i forgot to mention ive seen a few of your unboxing MtG cards on youtube. I would love to see more of those. Do you stil play MtG? What do you think of the duels of the planeswalker game on Steam?(or whatever platform lol i have it on my ipad)

we'll go off and on keto which is terrible for you. sometimes we'll get it done for 3 weeks, sometimes only 3 days :(

Its rough.

its very difficult to stick to an exclusive diet with OCED but when I am able to do /r/keto it is the one that actually WORKS.

Hi Boogie. How do you deal with regret? When you think back about the what if I... (did a or b when I was younger).

Also, have you been able to forgive those who hurt you?

I haven't seen all your videos so maybe you talked about these topics already. Thanks!

I don't deal with regret well, which is terrible, because I face it every day.

I did manage to MOSTLY forgive those who hurt me. But all but one of them is in the ground now, so hard to do anything about it either way.

<3

How would go about becoming a mod on your Twitch? Also just watched your latest video... great stuff man, really felt the honest and sincerity in it :)

I invite people that are

there most nights, if not every night. I get to recognize them by name. and a need for a new mod arises!

basically, stick with it and keep being awesome and when the time comes we'll mod you!

Why dont you lose some weight?

lol nice throwaway:

But actually, I have. My largest size ever was 587 pounds. :)