IAmA grave digger at a cemetery.

Do you think that Ophelia, having killed herself due to her madness over Hamlet, deserved a proper Christian burial?

You're asking the tough questions huh?

But in all honesty everyone deserves a proper burial if that's their wishes.

Also a grave marker. Everyone deserves one. It kind of breaks my heart to still see a plastic temporary marker on a grave after 2 or 3 years.

What are your favorite pizza toppings?

This. This question I like.

Almost any topping except olives. Fuck you olive. I hate you. That and diced onions on pizza.

I love onions on almost anything else. But on a pizza it's horrid.

What is the scariest/spookiest thing you have ever encountered?

Nothing really creepy has happened, but when it's foggy it does look a little errie.

Edit: It didn't happen while I was there but before. My boss said someone slit their throat at their grandma's grave. They had to run over an save the guy.

Do people have a hard time believing what you do? What is the craziest reaction?

It was weird at first. A lot of people couldn't grasp that this is my line of work.

My only weird reaction is when I have to walk through the room where the embalming is done. I could do without having to actually see a dead body, even though that kind of is my job. I would like to avoid it if at all possible.

Thanks for answering.

Thanks for asking!

Wait, why do you have to walk through the "embalming room" at all? The way I see it you are working within construction/landscaping industry and operating heavy machinery, and essentially micro-trenching a lot.

I'm just surprised that you'd have too see anything like that at all.

That room is connected to the garage Hurst is parked.

It may not be the embalming room, but there are a bunch of warning signs about chemicals and body fluids in and around that room.

We only use that room at the very beginning of the day to unlock the garage. Then we walk through that room again.

*Hearse

Damnit! Oh well guess I can't spell everything correctly.

Is graverobbing still a thing?

Not from where I work. But, we do have people take things from other people's grave marker.

They have stole fake flowers from one person and came back to put them on theirs.

Lol, what the fuck.

I have also heard of people stealing flowers to make their own fake flower bouquets and sell them.

Have you ever had to exhume a grave for the police or such?

The only thing we do is a disinternment. That's where we dig the vault out. The guys in the funeral home handle the body. We handle the body in the casket.

Can you tell us more about this. What is a disinterment and why was it done?

An internment is the process of burying the casket and vault. So disinternment is the process of digging it back up.

I have only done one disinternment. That was due to a previous employee not doing his job right.

We did that because the father of who was buried thought water was flooding a freshly buried vault.

Other than busting a vault while digging a whole that right beside a previously buried vault, we only would do them for legal reasons or a family chooses to relocate the body to a new cemetery or new location in the park.

Have you ever seen anyone going for a jog in the cemetery? Yes, this happened in House of Cards, but I'm genuinely curious.

Yea, pretty much daily. It's a lot quitter than a park, so I understand why people would do it.

Do you get paid well?

Not really. $11/hr.

Why don't you do litterally anything else?

Once I get the experience of a couple of years or so, and run the heavy machinery longer, I may look for something else.

I have worked in food my whole life. This guy gave me a chance to branch out into a whole new field of work. I'm going to run with it as long as I see fit for me.

I'm just saying trades pay a good deal more and carpenters are almost always looking for people in my experience(even if you have none). How old are you?

I would like to pick up welding as a trade.

I am definitely willing to try new trades. I just want to stay where I'm at for a year or two. Just for the experience and to say I did it.

Come join us at /r/welding! It's fun I promise!

Sure will. Thanks!

Hi thank you for doing this AMA. What is the weirdest ever happened during your work?

It's nothing that happened in the cemetery, but I watched an old lady run right into a curb that seperated our cemetery from a road that runs beside it.

That was the funniest and weirdest shit I have seen so far.

It was the cemetery drawing her to it like a magnet, and then when she pulled away the wind whispered "see you sooooon~~~~ Cause you're a terrible driver, not cause you're ooooolllld~~~"

That is fucking great! What made it perfect was I saw her handicapped tag hanging on her rear view mirror.

How do you like your steak cooked?

Medium rare. Do people it order it different?

do you just dig for like 8 hours straight every day?

I will answer any way. A lot of other things have to be done for a cemetery to look the way they do. Like today. I used a weed eater for 8 FUCKING HOURS!!

We have to do that to each marker because the big lawn mower will tear up the granite and bronze on the markers.

Ohhh wow thats pretty interesting, thanks for answering. If you dont mind a follow up question, how many hours do you get per week about?

Guaranteed 40.

dammm, seems like back breaking work.

It is. Especially when I first started. But, it's better than working 11 and 12 hour days as a corporate restaurant manager that has to drive an hour to and from work.

Do you like your job?

I love this job. I am outside all of the time which is the complete opposite of any of my past jobs. I have learned so much here.

Also I feel like what I do actually means something.

Did you ever find anything weird or odd in a grave?

I did find an arrow head while filling in a grave. Since the dirt dug up is naturally the dirt that goes back in, I assume it came from that cemetery.

I didn't keep it though, don't want any cursed native American juju on me.

I didn't keep it though, don't want any cursed native American juju on me.

Smart man right there

I've seen too many movies where bad shit happens.

I looked at it, said "huh, that's cool." And buried it with the vault.

Has this job changed the way you would like to be buried? Or how you would go about it if a loved one died? If so, how?

I haven't thought about myself being buried.

But, I do know if it was a family member, I would HAVE to be involved in every part of it. It my loved one so I will do it.

You mentioned your workplace has a mausoleum. Are you also responsible for placement post-service? Any miscellaneous liquids you have to deal with inside?

Yes, we handle those as well. They are much easier to do.

So in one of the mausoleums in a cemetery our company works for... We have to put this plastic tray underneath the casket. Because it doesn't go into a vault. It's to keep and corpse juices from running out of the casket and being soaked in the concrete of the mausoleum.

Well...one time they forgot. When they went to place the next casket in, because this was a space for two caskets, they remembered. The fluids and came through the casket and soaked into the concrete.

Now that entire mausoleum smells of death. Their is not enough febreeze in the world to mask that type of stink.

First, GREAT job with this AMA! Your replies have been outstanding! This is also why I cringe anytime I've ever had to attend a service held in a masoleum. I think you've nailed it - there should be a special corpse-juice fragrance by Febreze.

Thank you. I will continue answering questions until my little red envelope stops turning red.

I hate shitty AmAs

What are your thoughts on the afterlife?

I am agnostic. So any thing is possible.

So I just try to be a good person and if their is an afterlife, who ever controls it, will handle me accordingly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxDvjWTCmIY Is this one of the many pillars of agnostics?

Haha, you had to bring south park into this.

But to answer your question...yes, my fridge is packed with only dr. Pepper.

Not delicious Simply Orange, not cranberry juice, and definitely not that amazing Gold Peak lemonade iced tea. I will have none of that shit in my house.

Do you have any spooky stories?

Alright, since I told the throat cutting story, I will tell the other little story. On a side not, neither of these happened when I was there.

So, there was a family finishing up the chapel service. The whole sermon and what not. As they are getting ready to walk outside to actually bury the casket and do the outside part of the service. A guy is standing outside. Almost at the center of the entrance.

This man then proceeds to blow his brains out in front of the family, funeral directors, everybody.

I have no idea if that man was a member of the family or if he decided it was just a good day to traumatize a group of people.

All I know is that I'm glad I was not there to witness it.

Have you ever witnessed any grave robbers, and or malevolent forces rising from the grave?

Just taking things off of the top of markers.

No malevolent forces, but if the zombie apocalypse starts in either of my cemeteries, it will be ended quick.

How do you usually get the backhoe to the plot? Let's say a wife who wants to be buried next to her husband and they bought the plots many years ago, now they're all surrounded by other people. Do you just drive over the others with backhoe?

Yes. There is enough room though to drive it through the gardens. We just avoid the grave makers and fresh graves.

Nothing will ruin a day quicker than sinking a backhoe up to the axels because you didn't take the time to plan your route before driving through a garden.

Garden. Never has that word gave me chills before.

Ha, yea each of the seperate sections in our cemetery is a garden.

Ever do anyone ?

Have sex with a corpse? No

Kill someone and bury them my self? I'll plead the fiff

Do you ever encounter the families at the graves? Has your job ever made you cry?

Yes. Most of the time they just need help with getting the vases out of the hole in the marker.

It hasn't made me cry, but it made me uneasy to have to bury an infant that lived maybe a couple of hours.

I did not like that at all.

Do you have an ossuary at your cemetary?

Oh no, but we do have masoleums.

Does it ever creep you out? Did it creep you out in the beginning?

It did at the beginning, now I just see it as a job. After about 75 services it just becomes just work.

I worked at a cemetery also !!! But I was in the sales side :p what's your relationship like with the sales group at your cemetery (if you have one) and also are you perpetual care or non PC ?

Also strangest work order that's ever been put in for you ?

There is only one guy in the office I don't like. He always uses "we" when he wants me to something. As in "Yea, can we get some more dirt in this hole". I hate that shit.

I don't know what PC is so, I'm guessing I'm not in that.

We don't get too many strange ones. Just frustrating ones. Like replacing a vase when it's just sitting inside the hole all along. Or level a grave that's already level.

PC is perpetual care, when people buy plots they pay a percentage of the amount (10%) at mine and it ensure that even if ownership of the cemetery changes that someone will always be paid to take care of it.

Lmfao I know those feels ! We had people come into our office and we'd always walk out and check if the vase was upside down too.

Who's your bronze and vault company ? We used Matthews and Wilberts.

What's your favorite marker ? I was a big fan of the cremation markers for couples that already owned spaces and the ashes went into urns that were also name/dd scrolls. I think they were called cremation momentos (or maybe those were the ones with the pictures in them)

Edit: We had a work order for a disinterment while I was there... That was interesting lol

We use Matthews. As far as favorite style, it depends on the color of the granite along with the type name plate.

Different colors look good together.

Do you feel sad after foor the family/friends/the person? or do you become immune to the feeling of depression?

The only thing that really bothers me is, if it is a child or someone around my brothers' ages or my age. They are 16 and 20. I am 25.

Reality hits a little bit when it's someone around that young of an age.

If it's some old person that lived to 80 or 90, no its just part of the job.

How long does someone have to be dead before it's considered archeology instead of grave robbing?

If I would have to guess, about 300 years. And also have a license and degree in archeology.

Interesting job. I'm sure a lot of people overlook that aspect of a graveyard. What is the most disturbing thing you have uncovered or accidentally uncovered?

The only thing disturbing that has happened, happened in my first week of working. We had to dig up someone who was recently buried because their parents though water was flooding the vault.

Have you seen any weirdos come to your cemetery?

Not weirdos. Just weird questions asking about what they can and can't have on and around the grave markers.

"No bitch, you can't build a small amusement park around her marker just because she liked dolphins her whole life."

What about leaving a 5 pack of beer?

Then it definitely won't be staying. That shit is coming home with me.

Was it your choice to become a grave digger or you just needed a job?

I had spontaneously quit my shitty management job and had been out of work for about 2 months.

My roommate's boyfriend is the foreman and offered me the job.

Best decision ever. This job is pretty fucking sweet, all things considered.

What happens when the cemetery is full? Is there any sort of plan in place to add another location someplace else? What happens to the job once the cemetery is full, do you just continue to do maintenance?

Well both cemeteries I work at have A LOT of undeveloped land. Probably so much that the job won't end in my life time.

But, if that does happen, the company I work for has contracts with cemeteries all across the US and I believe some internationally.

As long as I do my job right I should be fine.

What was the most touching or interesting thing someone has left atop a grave in remembrance of a passed one?

On one child's grave there are some toys. Like a train, a small baseball and something else.

Even though I'm supposed to through things away that are not on the marker, I will not touch them. I set them back the way she first placed them on move on.

Im guessing it all eventually has to get thrown away, huh?

It does. But I will not be the one to do it.

A few questions please: (1) Do punk kids sneak in at night? (2) I don't want to be cremated but I don't want to be buried either. The only thing I can come up with is asking to be placed in a casket placed upon a stone block in a small mausoleum. The coffin should be able to be opened from the inside (i.e. not locked) and the door to the little crypt should be able to opened from the inside. Can I do this???!! (3) Do you or your coworkers sneak beer/booze while on the job? Are you allowed to smoke? (4) What do you think of the Moody Blues? (5) I saw an old Italian zombie movie years ago where the "gates of hell" were opened when a priest hung himself in a cemetery. Any truth to this? (6) Have you seen any arguments or outbursts at the cemetery? (7) Are you aware most people commonly misspell cemetery (they spell it "cemetary")? (8) How about some advice to someone who wanted to dig up some graves and rob them? How wouldchoo plan it (hypothetically of course)? (9) Couldchoo spend the night locked in the cemetery overnight (cue lightning and thunder)? (10) Do you ever find used condoms in the cemetery or snickers wrappers? How about potato chip bags? (11) You or your coowrkers ever mess up really bad or get bitched out by the boss? - Thanks!!

First off, holy shit! If I answer all of these this ama will be over. But that's what I'm here to do.

1. I believe so. We leave at 5pm so I'm sure they sneak down to where our out of site shop is and get stoned.
2. That is something I couldn't answer from my experience. You will need to find a special type of cemetery for that. And it will be FUCKING EXPENSIVE. Regular burials cost almost 10k.
3. No one drinks on the job that I know of. I did run to the store before I got off yesterday to buy a 6 pack, but it was 10 mins til quitting time. Yes we are allowed to smoke, just not during a service or around the family.
4. No idea what that is.
5. I doubt that has or will ever happen but who knows.
6. From us, yes, we argue almost everyday. But we do work out in the heat, cold, rain, and snow. It's a hard job and tempers flair.
7. Yes. 2 days ago when I first posted about this it auto corrected to cemtary. Reddit chewed me out. I learned my lesson.
8. Good luck, it will take over a day if you try that by hand. Even with a backhoe good luck getting that vault lid off, and opening that casket without the proper tools.
9. I guess you could. Cops will probably be called.
10. All the time. First task of the day is to clean the roads and wood lines. It seems like people bring their family and eat lunch, and toss that shit in the woods.
11. I haven't yet. I say yet because we all mess up. If you bust a vault that is already buried you will most likely loose your job. We have to dig it up and put it in a new vault. That cost the company thousands of dollars.

Have you seen Van Helsing, and how would you compare yourself to the grave digger in that movie?

I have seen the movie but it's been a while.

If you show me a video I will be happy to answer.

Do you dig with a shovel or machine?

For normal burials that involve casket vaults, we use a backhoe.

Look at my first proof pic. That's the exact one we use.

Now for cremations, its done by hand with a spade and shovel. Cremations need a smalle, not as deep hole.

I'm a little late, but...

Hello, fellow gravedigger! When I was 17 my first full-time job was a gravedigging gig at a local cemetery. This was way back in 1982. I was there for less than a year, but came away with lots of great memories. I blogged about it back in 2011. If anyone is interested, check it out:

I Was A Teenage Gravedigger.

My question, if you are still answering: Do you think the peace and quiet (and low pay) outweighs the noise and irritation of working with living people?

Absolutely. I came from working in food. Have you ever worked in food? The customers are mostly assholes. Here it's just a small group of guys working together. No customers, just us trying to make it to quitting time.

How long does it take to dig a grave roughly? Is this done by hand or using machinery?

Normally between an hour and an hour an a half. When it is a normal burial when use backhoes like the one in my proof. If it is for a cremation burial or infant casket we dig it by hand.

Does it pay well?

It starts at $11 an hour.

What can you do to get a rise? Master grave digger?

My foreman gets paid $18 an hour, so I have something to look forward to I guess.

But, like I mentioned earlier, soooo much goes into the cemetery business.

Who is the most famous person buried at your cemetary? For example, they've got Joe DiMaggio burried at the cemetary where I go to visit my family.

I honestly don't think anyone famous is buried in either of the cemeteries I work at.

Also that is one thing I can't disclose. Who is buried at the ones I work at.

Isn't that usually public record? Are yours special?

I'm sure it is, but I was told not to disclose anything about who we bury.

When do you dig? During day / night? Or it depends upon urgency, or are a few graves digged in advance? How does this work?

We generally do it during the day, the day before. One day for digging and on the day of the service, we make the set up with the tent, chairs, fake grass and lowering device.

What fake grass?

It is these big pieces of carpet that we lay around the hole. It looks like fake grass.

What's been your favorite memory while being a gravedigger?

Getting the opportunity to do this job. I came from a background of food jobs. I managed a shitty deli that paid well, but I was never at home.

I needed a big change and wanted to work outside. Someone approached me about this job and I jumped on it.

Are all grave sites the same size? ie, if someone had to be buried in a "piano box" would they get an extra large grave, or just have to buy two?

I'm Sure they would. Grave spaces are 3'6" wide and 10'long.

Are there any ghost legends or stories at the graveyard you work at?

Not that I know of. We also are out of the parks around 5pm. I don't think ghost wake up until 10pm.

What is it like when you have two graves next to each other, such as a husband and wife, and you have to dig the second grave? Is there much risk of plunging the backhoe into the first buried?

There is a small risk. But we probe the corners of the grave we are about to dig. We lay it out, mark it off with paint, and then probe it in 9 spots on the outside edges and middle.

How long do you think it would take to dig a properly sized hole by hand? How long does it take with the machine? I was thinking it could be cathartic to make the whole one's self for a loved one. but maybe not if it would take like 10 hours.

By machine, about an hour or so. It would depend on how many people were digging by hand. Maybe 8 to 10 hours, I'm not sure.

Do you have any horrible pickup lines? Like: "One day, i'll dig your grave"

No pick up lines. I'm married so I don't need them.

But, I do have corny sayings like " I work a dead end job" and " I always work the graveyard shift"

What is your favorite truck in Monster Jam?

For some reason I feel there is a right answer to this question.

My father passed recently and is interred in a place where most people put fake flowers in the vases provided. My parents hated fake flowers so I bring him fresh ones once or twice a week. My question is, do they have people that come around and take out dead flowers periodically? I don't see many around at all.

Yes, that is one part of our job. If the flowers look out of season or they have been out for too long and look damaged by the elements and falling apart.

What I mean by out of season is, if they have Christmas decorations on them and it's almost Valentines day. We throw the old away to make room for the family to bring new ones.

What determines the amount of space in between graves?

The vault the casket goes in.

But the way we lay off graves before digging is, we measure it out 3'6" wide and 10' long. If the vault is bigger than that, we lay it out accordingly.

[deleted]

I haven't. But if your phone or something of importance drops in there with the casket, pray the family isn't still around. Once it's broken the horizon, it doesn't come back up. The horizon is considered ground level.

What, what? Why? If the family isn't around what would be so bad about fishing out your dropped item?

If the family is gone, it's fine. Grab what you dropped in. But with the family around, that's a big no no. My job is all about respect for the family, living and dead.

If it looks really bad if a family member sees you digging around in their dead, loved ones vault.

What's the most fun part of your job?

Riding around on tractors all day for sure. That and zero turn lawn mowers. It's a kubota 232 I believe.

You could have an awesome race through the roads in the cemetery road in though things.

I wonder how icy roads would have to be to drift a tractor...

Oh we have mud to try that in. Everything will drift in mud.

I've always been curious about this, who pays you? Do people pay rent for the dead people or like does the city take of it?

The funeral home pays our company because we are contractors. A burial cost around 10 grand for a basic funeral. I assume the plots are fully paid for and they receive a deed for that small plot. I'm almost sure of that part.

Have you ever dug graves in a thunderstorm and when a flash of lightning illuminates the graveyard, raised your head back and let out a guttural hysterical scream while shaking your shovel at the sky?

Holy shit, that would be amazing!
I have not. I would rather not dig during a thunderstorm, but now that you laid out that scenario, I might reconsider now.

What is the most depressing thing you've done/heard/read during your job?

Probably was when I buried a girl that was my age. 25. She had MS and died of complications.
It was a odd feeling. Knowing that I just buried someone my age.

I have someone I know that might be interested in this line of work.

Did they drug test you?

Do you work overnight shifts a lot?

Yes we drug test. We operate heavy equipment.

No, we work 8 to 5 normally. We can't really do our job after sun down.

Do you have to commonly dig up coffins to increase space when the cemetery becomes too full?

We haven't gotten to that point yet. We have a lot of undeveloped land that we can use.

I have heard that we have had to dig up one vault and move it to a new cemetery because the family wanted that.

They also paid about double the price of a normal burial for that too.

How deep do you have to dig the graves?

Normally 4 foot 6 inches. State regulations say it had to have about 18 inches of dirt from the top of the vault.

can i have a hookshot please?

I have already given it away. If you can beat my ghost in a race though, I will give you the Longshot.

One more question. When I was at the cemetery last weekend I noticed a big brown metal thing that looked like a dumpster off to the side. When I looked in it, I saw ground. Do you know what it was?

If you had a picture I could probably tell you. It could be anything from a bin to keep dirt dry when it rains to a bin to store clippings from trees and other things until waste management can pick them up.

It didn't have a bottom or a top. It was just a square metal brown thing about the size of a dumpster.

It could be used for many reasons then. We don't have one of those where I work

What do you do when you are not working?

Play videos games. I'm real big into the planetside 2 on ps4 beta. I'm married so husband stuff as well. Play guitar a little. And I love to cook. Just not as a profession anymore.

Hold on. You were a professor? What did you teach? Where did you teach? Where did you do your graduate degree and in what?

I'm sorry dude. My phone auto corrected it to "professor"

Have you ever seen the movie Cemetery Man?

No, I have not. Is it good?

Have you ever seen a Native American cemetery? if so, what are your thoughts on their burial tradition compared to ours?

Yes I have. I think they look really interesting. I don't really have any thoughts on their traditions. I feel death to them may have been more of celebration of their life and journey to their afterlife. As opposed to the majority of today's burials which focus more on grief and mouring.