My short bio: My mother was a factory and I grew up on the bad side of a toaster factory until my new family adopted me.

My Proof:

EDIT: I'm going through toaster school right now, so excuse me if I don't answer some questions for a point of time.

EDIT #2: As a toaster, I have a busy job toasting so I'm going to be answering questions through out the day.

EDIT #3: Wow! I didn't expect a toaster like myself would get this much attention aswell as reddit gold! Thanks so much. I will continue answering your questions until later tonight.

EDIT #4: I'll still be answering questions on here but if you wan't to ask me more questions in the future you can always post something on /r/ToasterQuestions

Comments: 2272 • Responses: 49  • Date: 

sirhcthatsme2233 karma

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

ImgurRepost1450 karma

All the time, but you just gotta get by those days, you know?

AnticPosition1929 karma

Do you happen to be brave?

...and little?

ImgurRepost865 karma

I am quite a obese toaster. But I am brave.

dzelda385 karma

A Texas toaster?

ImgurRepost126 karma

I'm a Canadian toaster. Those Texas Toasters are just making everything illegal nowadays.

LadyEvadne1320 karma

What happens if I use the bagel setting on regular bread?

ImgurRepost2202 karma

Don't you dare.

salvistani1152 karma

Why don't you toasters go back to Toastervania? We don't want you in America

ImgurRepost1752 karma

I don't appreciate your racism. #toasterequality

salvistani1120 karma


ImgurRepost1198 karma

How dare you sir, how dare you.

crandamaniac1074 karma

Oh great, been waiting for this AMA to come up. Been always wondering, should I butter my bread before or after putting it in the toaster? I've always been told that you should use a little bit of lubrication before insertion, but it seems likes this ruins the toaster.

Also, sorry for the loss of all your brothers in arms.

ImgurRepost1352 karma

Well honestly, as a toaster myself. I do not enjoy butter inside me.

i_luke_tirtles748 karma

What is the strangest thing you toasted?

ImgurRepost1668 karma

A penis.

pat965740 karma

How does it feel when people refer to crappy computers as "toasters"? Are you just a crappy computer?

ImgurRepost1323 karma

That's actually a compliment.

glenfuerte664 karma

Are you scared that a living bread is always trying to insert himself between your inside?

ImgurRepost1042 karma

Happened to my grandfather. #neverforget

AdKUFr600 karma

I can't really tell by your photo, are you a four slicer, or a two slicer?

ImgurRepost1164 karma

I don't even know anymore.

AdKUFr376 karma

Are you jealous of other toasters who can toast more bread at one time?

ImgurRepost884 karma

I just throw them in the tub.

Chrika550 karma

Does it hurt to be unplugged?

ImgurRepost1159 karma

Its more the anticipation, but being thrown in a tub, that hurts.


Why do you always burn my fucking toast? fuck you

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senorpapagiorgio383 karma

What do you do with all those excess crumbs?

ImgurRepost656 karma

You don't want to know...

Seraph_Grymm260 karma

Well that sounds crumby.

ImgurRepost431 karma

Cut with the crumby puns.

Mopperton321 karma

Do toasters toast toast?

ImgurRepost811 karma

I can toast toast, but why would I toast toast when the toast is already toasted.

Andrewski2000297 karma

Have you ever burnt a poptart?

ImgurRepost630 karma

I did. I cried a little.

thisnamestakennow274 karma

Does your dial change the level of toastiness or is it a timer?

ImgurRepost418 karma

With me, I'm toasty all day, everyday.

linuspickle224 karma

Would you like some toast?

ImgurRepost301 karma

Hand it over buster.

Smocke55209 karma


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viners161 karma

how do you feel about forks?

ImgurRepost378 karma

Weapons of mass destruction.

PlaysSnDnaked160 karma

Is the brave little toaster your favorite movie!?

ImgurRepost310 karma

10/10 would recommend.

ExtraAndroid160 karma

What's it like having two giant yellow consumables inserted deeply into you every morning? Sometimes multiple times?

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yoercc127 karma

Hey, thanks a lot for doing this AMA.

How often do you wash your crumb tray?

ImgurRepost210 karma

Not often enough.

pudgie3121 karma

what influenced you to do this AMA?

ImgurRepost280 karma

I thought people didnt care.

zora894114 karma

Do you get offended by the phrase: "Picture taken using a toaster" ?

ImgurRepost205 karma

If toasters can play NES games, they can take a picture of a toaster.

Old_Man_Star104 karma

Do you have a brother named Eddy?

Old_Man_Star112 karma

Ah not the Eddy I know.

ImgurRepost180 karma

Oh. Too bad.

Koala024100 karma

Are you a fan of the powdered toast man?

ImgurRepost159 karma

As a young toaster, I had posters of him in my room. He is my true hero.

SIOS26 karma

The guy who did the voice died recently.

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lrr70689 karma

Okay first of all, thank you so much for this AMA.

How come when I leave a piece of toast in for what seems like eternity, and take it out, it's not toasted - but put it back in for five more seconds, it's charred?

Mornings are the most sensitive time of day OP - why are your people ruining my days with burned toast? WHY?

ImgurRepost102 karma

Burned toast is how my "people" say hello to people who over use us

obnoxiouscats76 karma

Can I drop you in with me while I'm having a bath? While you're still connected to the powerpoint and turned on...

ImgurRepost177 karma

If you like murder, sure.

WaltDismay74 karma

Do you discriminate against toasters without a bagel setting?

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fenrir11953 karma

How do you feel about the competition from toaster ovens? Do you worry about them taking your jobs, or are you confident in your ability to succeed despite the difficulty?

ImgurRepost92 karma

We plan to attack them on Tuesday (next)

lovesamoan52 karma

What can't you start toasting the second slice, say after 20secs, to give me time to butter the first one, so just when I'm finished, the second one is still at the correct temp for the buttering process?

Is it because all toasters have intimacy issues?

ImgurRepost75 karma

There's a reason why people usually only have one toaster.

salvistani48 karma

What will you do about the crime and poverty rampant in the Toaster-American community?

ImgurRepost74 karma

Well its tough. But bath tubs are always a solution.

tighemyshoe47 karma

How much toast could a toaster toast if a toaster could toast toast?

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HerbalWine45 karma

What was it like at the bad side of a toaster factory?

ImgurRepost117 karma

Picture the ghetto. But with bath tubs.

HerbalWine41 karma

I imagine there were a lot of bad electrical shocks.

While you were there, were you ever forced to imprint an image of, say, Jesus on bread?

ImgurRepost60 karma

Yes. I was aching for cash had to some basic artwork.

HerbalWine28 karma

Ever tried toasting cash?

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SweetLordKrishna34 karma

What's your take on the Danquan and Emily situation?

ImgurRepost73 karma

I don't keep up with this celebrity gossip. Only thing I ever kept up with on the news was that twinkie scare.

Seraph_Grymm34 karma

How do you feel about people that cook those frozen hamburger patties you buy in boxes of 20 inside you?

ImgurRepost84 karma

I am permanently damaged because of those morons.

salvistani33 karma

What's the most slices of bread you've had toasted in your hole at the same time?

ImgurRepost57 karma

Too much.

BU8731 karma

So, if guns don't kill people, but people kill people, does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?

ImgurRepost15 karma