Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

All the time, but you just gotta get by those days, you know?

Do you happen to be brave?

...and little?

I am quite a obese toaster. But I am brave.

A Texas toaster?

I'm a Canadian toaster. Those Texas Toasters are just making everything illegal nowadays.

What happens if I use the bagel setting on regular bread?

Don't you dare.

Why don't you toasters go back to Toastervania? We don't want you in America

I don't appreciate your racism. #toasterequality

BREAD BURNER!

How dare you sir, how dare you.

Oh great, been waiting for this AMA to come up. Been always wondering, should I butter my bread before or after putting it in the toaster? I've always been told that you should use a little bit of lubrication before insertion, but it seems likes this ruins the toaster.

Also, sorry for the loss of all your brothers in arms.

Well honestly, as a toaster myself. I do not enjoy butter inside me.

What is the strangest thing you toasted?

A penis.

How does it feel when people refer to crappy computers as "toasters"? Are you just a crappy computer?

That's actually a compliment.

Are you scared that a living bread is always trying to insert himself between your inside?

Happened to my grandfather. #neverforget

I can't really tell by your photo, are you a four slicer, or a two slicer?

I don't even know anymore.

Are you jealous of other toasters who can toast more bread at one time?

I just throw them in the tub.

Does it hurt to be unplugged?

Its more the anticipation, but being thrown in a tub, that hurts.

Why do you always burn my fucking toast? fuck you

ITS HOW WE SAY HELLO!

What do you do with all those excess crumbs?

You don't want to know...

Well that sounds crumby.

Cut with the crumby puns.

Do toasters toast toast?

I can toast toast, but why would I toast toast when the toast is already toasted.

Have you ever burnt a poptart?

I did. I cried a little.

Does your dial change the level of toastiness or is it a timer?

With me, I'm toasty all day, everyday.

Would you like some toast?

Hand it over buster.

cylon?

Cyclone?

how do you feel about forks?

Weapons of mass destruction.

Is the brave little toaster your favorite movie!?

10/10 would recommend.

What's it like having two giant yellow consumables inserted deeply into you every morning? Sometimes multiple times?

Rape.

Hey, thanks a lot for doing this AMA.

How often do you wash your crumb tray?

Not often enough.

what influenced you to do this AMA?

I thought people didnt care.

Do you get offended by the phrase: "Picture taken using a toaster" ?

If toasters can play NES games, they can take a picture of a toaster.

Do you have a brother named Eddy?

Yes, hes a good friend. We took this picture together a few years back. https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/uCRwQlee6BZGBmbd7czkV9UAYJz9e7VLrmYC6OcM7Dp8sJg_2e5XJFo-RVmWUWH8APm6H_uaCC_AyfIbMwa5uLM7TnZrfdtAlfWvpWtKgNif-cYj53kU5qIpWg

Ah not the Eddy I know.

Oh. Too bad.

Are you a fan of the powdered toast man?

As a young toaster, I had posters of him in my room. He is my true hero.

The guy who did the voice died recently.

OH GOD WHY!

Okay first of all, thank you so much for this AMA.

How come when I leave a piece of toast in for what seems like eternity, and take it out, it's not toasted - but put it back in for five more seconds, it's charred?

Mornings are the most sensitive time of day OP - why are your people ruining my days with burned toast? WHY?

Burned toast is how my "people" say hello to people who over use us

Can I drop you in with me while I'm having a bath? While you're still connected to the powerpoint and turned on...

If you like murder, sure.

Do you discriminate against toasters without a bagel setting?

dontdiscriminate

How do you feel about the competition from toaster ovens? Do you worry about them taking your jobs, or are you confident in your ability to succeed despite the difficulty?

We plan to attack them on Tuesday (next)

What can't you start toasting the second slice, say after 20secs, to give me time to butter the first one, so just when I'm finished, the second one is still at the correct temp for the buttering process?

Is it because all toasters have intimacy issues?

There's a reason why people usually only have one toaster.

What will you do about the crime and poverty rampant in the Toaster-American community?

Well its tough. But bath tubs are always a solution.

How much toast could a toaster toast if a toaster could toast toast?

Twenty-One

What was it like at the bad side of a toaster factory?

Picture the ghetto. But with bath tubs.

I imagine there were a lot of bad electrical shocks.

While you were there, were you ever forced to imprint an image of, say, Jesus on bread?

Yes. I was aching for cash had to some basic artwork.

Ever tried toasting cash?

Duh.

What's your take on the Danquan and Emily situation?

I don't keep up with this celebrity gossip. Only thing I ever kept up with on the news was that twinkie scare.

How do you feel about people that cook those frozen hamburger patties you buy in boxes of 20 inside you?

I am permanently damaged because of those morons.

What's the most slices of bread you've had toasted in your hole at the same time?

Too much.

So, if guns don't kill people, but people kill people, does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?

Yes.