We are Melissa McCarthy (actor) and Ted Melfi (writer and director) from the film ST. VINCENT. AUAA!

Do you miss Gilmore Girls?

I do.

MELISSA: I do, yeah. We had such a good time doing it, but I've been lucky enough to get onto another show where i loved all the people, and I love the show i'm on now. I'm really nostalgic when I look back on it, but i feel like it had come to its end.

Melissa, Do you still talk to the cast of Gilmore Girls? You as Sookie was one of my favorite characters in the show, and in television.

MELISSA: Aww, I love that show! I'm proud of the run we had. It's a nice show. I haven't kept in touch with a lot of people. I text Yanic every once in a while, but it's been a long time.

Are you an air marshal? It's ok you can tell me.

MELISSA AND TED: HAHAHA!

MELISSA: I'm going to take this moment to finally come out and say: Yes, truly I am. And so's my husband.

Melissa,

You are the best!! My favorite SNL skit of yours is Coach Kelly, the abusive women's college basketball coach. Are there any future plans to make a movie based on Coach Kelly? It could be a Lifetime Movie: "My Coach, My Abuser: The Coach Kelly Story".

Melissa: Hahaha!

Thank you! It was a dream, trying to mow down girls. And there are no plans to make a movie out of it.

TED: Hahaha!

Melissa, can you name 3 or 4 other very funny comedic actresses who you think would make great ghostbusters? And are there any other movies you'd love to star in a remake?

MELISSA: There are so many funny actresses that we would take up the entire hour naming funny women. And I have no actual affiliation with that movie, but I'm sure it's going to be wildly successful with Paul Feig. I mean, there are a million funny women, a billion different ways to go...

Ted- is is true that you originally wanted Jack Nicholson for Bill's part?

Melissa- what's your best memory from Gilmore Girls?

TED: Well, you know, it was one of the early thoughts when the movie was at the studio at FOX. My first creative choice was Bill, and Peter's first creative choice was Bill. So when the movie went away from the studio, and away from the "casting the biggest star blah blah blah," we went with our first creative choice, which was Bill, we were allowed by Harvey to cast the person we wanted to.

MELISSA: Thank god!

TED: No one else could play this part but Bill Murray. there's no doubt in my mind. Nobody does likable like Bill Murray.

MELISSA: Oh gosh, I mean, we did that 7 years, so there are a LOT. I'll give you a weird one, because it stands out to me. I was eternally pregnant on the show, so I wore a pregnancy belly just FOREVER. And at the time I was smoking (every once in a while I had a cigarette), and I would inhale the smoke and go up to the prop truck - and I had known the prop guys for YEARS, this was probably in year 5- and I would punch the fake pregnancy belly and smoke would come out- and it was a TERRIBLE joke, but all of their faces would go very still, and then all of a sudden I turned around and there was a whole tour group behind me who I did not know where there who didn't know I wasn't really pregnant, saw me smoking, and saw me punch my own pregnant stomach. I mean, they were SO ANGRY and I said "no no no! It's a fake belly! I'm not even a big smoker!" and nothing helped. And then I got caught doing it AGAIN the next week, by another tour guide. I did the same horrible bit, TWICE. and people were like "you deserve it. You were acting like an idiot."

But it was a funny bit. That's why I had to do it again.

I like the St. Vincent trailer. Melissa, do you get paid every time HBO shows the Heat? They really show that film a lot.

MELISSA: Hahahaha! Uh... I don't think so. I don't think that's how it works.

TED: I think you do.

MELISSA: I think I might? I might make like 1/18th of a cent every time it shows, so keep watchin'!

How much fun was it filming the diarrhea scene in the movie Bridesmaids? That had to have been so hard not to laugh.

MELISSA: We ruined many, many takes. Thank god for the wonders of editing, because it did not go smoothly, but in a really funny way. You don't get to watch many of your friends try to look sick or really ill and not burst out laughing. At one point, Paul Feig was saying "Let's get a little more vomit on Melissa' and he was pouring this goopy stuff on me. It was a really weird day at work. But really funny.

TED: My favorite line in that movie, Melissa, is when you say "Look away!"

what is your favourite food?

TED: I'm going to say the avocado. Any which way you want to take the avocado.

MELISSA: I love avocados. But Guinness is a full meal. One pint and you're done!

Hi! Your movie looks great! Melissa, do you hang out with Kristen Wiig much these days? I hope you do another movie together! Bridesmaids still brings me such joy.

MELISSA: THANK YOU! The movie is really great, I love it! And I think the world of Kristen. I just got to see her in Toronto, which was a delight. I wish I got to see her more, because she's one of the greatest gals i know. But nothing is planned. I would do it in a minute.

What was it like like working with Bill Murray?

MELISSA: You know, it was... pretty surreal, and I kind of, I feel like I learned a lot, which sounds really cheesy but I don't mean it to. He's really good. He's, everybody knows he's so funny and talented, but watching him self-edit, and watching him kind of, always take the subtlest route or underplay something, getting to watch someone who is so skilled, I hope if I paid attention enough, that I learned from it. Every line is not meant to be hit out of the park. It doesn't make for a better movie. And watching his choices and subtlety and how grounded he is, it was for me a total dream come true.

TED: I think I would liken working with Bill as deer hunting in a tree stand. And you wait, and you wait, and you wait for this deer to show up. And when the deer shows up, you better be fucking ready or you will scare the deer and he will run away and you will NEVER see him again. We were all in our tree stands every day, and the deer would come, and we would roll camera and the deer would run away. So we had a special B camera, it was called that because it stood for "Bill Camera," and when he had scenes alone where you couldn't block him with other actors, we would be able to catch him wherever he went. So we were like small game hunters.

MELISSA: Hahah!

Melissa, what was going through your mind when all that ranch splattered your face on SNL? It didn't look intentional.

MELISSA: It was not. A little bit was supposed to come out. But I squeezed it so hard the whole lid blew off, and I dumped the whole bottle into my face. I couldn't see anything, because I had so much in my eyes. You're not supposed to give yourself a Kefir eye bath. But i thought to myself at that point - I'll just go with it.

Melissa, how do you deal with the mean people in the business? The people that hate and wish you to fail

TED: Well, you know, we send them love. We send them love, and then we call 'em "assholes" behind their back. Everyone knows mean people suck, so what are you going to do.

MELISSA: I always feel bad for mean people. Once you get past the initial "is that person crazy?" you think that they must need so much attention, you feel sorry for them. Either way you end up feeling sorry for them. Not enough to befriend, but i feel sorry for them. It seems weird when someone sits alone in their room spewing hate - they should get a hobby or a charity, get some friends!

Melissa- what's your favorite Plainfield area restaurant?

MELISSA: That's a tricky one. It used to be The Sanctuary, which is when they put a restaurant in an old church - it used to be, I don't think it's there anymore, for myself (I was in Catholic school for 12 years) it felt like I literally was breaking every law on earth, because they had turned an old church into a restaurant, they kept the pews, they had tables between the pews, and when you went up to the salad bar, they put that on the altar. Getting a salad, I thought a lightning bolt was going to strike me down.

It was a real challenge for anyone who went to Catholic schools.

Funniest person you have ever met?

MELISSA: It's like naming your favorite album, it's impossible!

TED: Probably the lady you're talking to, and Bill Murray.

MELISSA: You kind of have to say that, I'm on the phone.

TED: Melissa makes me laugh out loud, and Bill makes me laugh out loud, in different ways. Bill stares at me until I stop talking, which makes me laugh. When I was directing him, I would tell him to go over there, and he would just stare at me. And Chris O'Dowd is hilarious too.

MELISSA: Chris and Bill together in one room, I was like... Chris I get nervous if he was telling me a horrible story about someone passing away near to him, my fear is that I would be giggling because he really can't say anything that doesn't make me laugh. He's super super smart and funny. Him and Bill were too much.

TED: I got a mole on my face removed, a couple moles cut out, they were bugging me, and I came to set, and i go to Melissa "Have you seen my mole? I got my mole burnt off" and she goes "Wanna see my C-section?"

MELISSA: I forgot I said that, Jesus.

TED: they are just funny, funny people.

What are your favorite rides in Disney?

TED: I'm gonna go with Space Mountain, which made me cackle like a schoolgirl.

MELISSA: is that the one with the crazy lights and it's dark?

TED: Yeah.

MELISSA: I'm going to say it too, because with the lights and the darkness, it's not just a roller coaster, it feels like it's a time machine, it feels like you're in 1982, with the lights. A real nod to the 80's for me.

TED: The funniest thing is I saw it once with the lights on, and it's the size of a shoe box. You're like 'It's so SMALL'

MELISSA: I thought it was massive!

TED: That's why it's dark! All the twisting and spinning.

If you were a pizza, what kind of pizza would you be?

TED: Hmmm.

MELISSA: Would it be a mayonnaise pizza?

TED: Who asked this question? Who are you?!?! And what makes that question do anything for you?!?!

MELISSA: I may have to echo Ted on that.

TED: A "Macaroni" Pizza. I'd be a "Cat dander" pizza.

Ted, what are your feelings on cats?

TED: On cats? Listen, let me tell you about cats. I'm allergic to cats. I don't trust cats. And cats don't really like me. And cats are lonely, lonely people who have no respect for their owners or for mankind, really. So I'm not a cat person, my daughter wants a cat and it's not gonna happen. I don't have a lot to say about cats, except they are good for some people.

Huge fan here! What is the most fun you have ever had shooting a movie?

TED: Oh, the most fun we had shooting this movie - I think it was the last dinner scene, when the whole cast was finally together, and it's so rare that they were all together. We had Bill, Melissa and Naomi. So the last scene when they are at the dinner table, and Bill brought a cake for Melissa that said...

MELISSA: It said "Thanks for staying as long as you could." Which originally was supposed to be a jab at me, since I was leaving early, but by the end it had turned into an actual compliment, didn't it. Oh my god that cake was funny.

TED: and we took pictures and it was the best day of the whole shoot. It was like a celebration, since we were ending the shoot in a couple days. We had such a great time all the time, though.

MELISSA: Well, I'll go with - we were standing outside, a rare moment of downtime, and I finished a banana, and Bill took the banana peel from me, and I thought he was going to throw it away from me, and I thought "that's really weird," and then I realized that he was waiting for people to walk by us, and when they weren't looking he would throw the banana peel by their feet - not to trip them, but it was for the second reaction to get the "Is that a banana peel?"

And really people do make a crazy face when they think "Did I almost just slip on a banana peel." It was highly enjoyable.

What's the rudest thing a neighbor ever did or said to you? Any real life bad neighbor experiences?

TED: I don't have a rude one. When we had a child, our daughter 8 years ago, I went on a website to see if pedophiles lived nearby in Los Angeles, and there's a big map of los Angeles and I went "Oh boy, there are a lot of red dots." And then I clicked on my neighborhood, and I said "Oh wow, there's a lot of red dots on my neighborhood." And then I saw that one of the red dots was my neighbor. So I went to my neighbor next door and I knocked on his door right away. And I said "Hey, dude, you're on this website." He knew exactly what i was talking about, and he said "Aw man, I was going to tell you about that." To make a long story short, this guy invented the wet t-shirt contest. And he was a stoner, and he would have stoner parties, and he was lying around nude in stoner parties, and his daughter happened to see it, and he was in the middle of a divorce, but there was no pedophilia taking place, just a random stoner / hippie nudie party. But still, our relationship is still officially strange.

MELISSA: I can't top that. I mean, that involves nude hippies!

The weirdest thing... I don't have a lot of weird neighbor stories, luckily... I don't really have one. Knock on wood... We did have a neighbor that we cut down a shrub when we first moved in, like there was a hedge that was a privacy hedge between our houses, and when we were first moving in, someone cut them too short, and the neighbors acted as if it was an INCREDIBLY big deal. We REPLACED the hedges because we were like "Oh my gosh, we are moving into this neighborhood, destroying the privacy" - they just kept talking about their privacy is key, and then 2 weeks later, they built a lookout tower directly into our yard - and my husband literally went over and was like "Are you fucking kidding me? We spent $3K on hedges and you guys built a look out tower?!" and they were like "It's a prayer hut." And he said "Well, all it can see is our backyard." So we spent thousands of dollars replacing these hedges, because they are 12 foot hedges, and then two weeks later they built a lookout tower.

TED: I never heard of a prayer tower, but that is hilarious.

Hey! What was your favourite project you worked on and why?

TED: Well, considering I've only done ONE, I'm gonna say: ST. VINCENT.

MELISSA: Well, you know what? I've been really lucky, in that Tammy was special to me because we wrote it and my husband directed it, but I feel like I have been hit with the lucky street - Heat, ST. VINCENT, Tammy, everything I've been lucky enough to be able to do since Bridesmaids, Identity Thief - I've LOVED. And at this point, I've LOVED each project, I fell in love with the characters, these stories, I've worked with super nice people. When this does come crushing down, I will be destroyed, but i pick them all because they are wonderful things to do and give me great life experiences and so far I have not been let down. So I can't pick a favorite. I know it sounds like bullshit, but I mean it.

If you could sit down at a bar and have a few drinks with any living person, who would it be?

TED: OOOH.

MELISSA: Jeez.

TED: I might have drinks with the Pope. Pope Francis.

MELISSA: that's a good one.

TED: He seems like a really cool, progressive kind of fella.

MELISSA: Pope is a good one. I mean, I can't go against the Pope. But I'll double dip. I would like to join Ted with the Pope, and I kind of have a fascination with Elon Musk. I just like someone who thinks wildly out of the box, you know, and is like "Why can't be build a completely different car?" or "Why can't we put people in a plastic egg and shoot them across the country?" I like someone who's a wild smarty and thinks completely differently.

TED: I wanna change my answer. Madeleine Stowe.

Melissa and Ted if could talk to Maggie in St. Vincent could you suggest 3 alternate babysitters that would be more appropriate? Fictional or real.

TED: Okay.... I really just want to heckle this question-asker. I would say: almost any choice she would have made would be better than drunk Bill Murray.

MELISSA: No, I disagree with the question! I think she picked the perfect person. That's kind of the whole point of the movie - he was the exact right person, loving and ended up becoming part of the family, so I think on the outside he didn't look like the right person, but if you watch the whole movie, I think she just picked just right.

TED: I wanna delete my answer.

Melissa, can you bring your youngest out in public yet without her going crazy?

Ted, have you met Melissa's daughters and can you confirm that the small one is a mini Charlie Sheen? [lol]

MELISSA: Well, yes. My youngest - we are out and about all the time, and she's lovely, but ya know, she's feisty and I have to watch her, but she's a delight. I wouldn't say "Charlie Sheen." But she's, ya know, she's feisty. She's more like a gangster. You gotta watch her, you gotta watch your back with her.

TED: I have not met Viv and George yet. I've seen pictures of her and many stories. And I'm not sure I'm ready yet.

Melissa, I talked to a guy about a punk house where he said you used to hang out, in Carbondale, IL. Did you grow up into punk music? Are you still into it?

MELISSA: Oh my god! It was probably the DietChrist House, you heard right, I think it was a band - we went to the same, I listened to a lot of punk music growing up, I still love some of it, and we would go to the same house every weekend and punk bands would play. And the weird coincidence was across the street was my husband and his family, their neighbors were directly across the street from where I went to college, like the house he grew up in, but I wouldn't meet him for another 10 years. But it was great I love that music.

Good afternoon,

If my wife and I were going to see St Vincent on a date night...what type of dinner would you suggest we would have beforehand?

(difficulty level...one date nite per quarter, kiddo is 3.5 years old)

(extra difficulty...no peanuts)

TED: Well, look, if you are only getting out one night per quarter, you should blow it out and get just absolutely WASTED. And eat at any place that has a buffet where you don't have to be limited by ANYTHING.

MELISSA: I was going to say go to your absolute favorite place that still feels special, and then go see this movie! It's gonna be a great combo.

[deleted]

TED: Thank you for that. I have NOT seen Father Ted. But I am going to google Father Ted after this AMA, and put it on my long list of things I'll never get to.

Mayo or Miracle Whip?

MELISSA: Mayo.

TED: I fucking hate all the emulsifications. I hate every emulsification. They make me gag. Anything that starts out at something and you whip it and it makes it something else, I hate it. Anything that gets frothy and hardened is not natural.

MELISSA: I'm just going to send you a HUGE bucket of mayonnaise.

Did you enjoy the TIFF experience? I read that Bill Murray had you and Kristen Wiig on the dance floor. You can now die happy, Melissa!!

MELISSA: that's what i thought! I've danced with Bill Murray, I'm good to go.

TED: Toronto was fantastic.

MELISSA: I love that film festival, too. I did.

Do you prefer to eat your macaroni with a fork, or a spoon?

TED: I don't eat macaroni, and I didn't know a lot of people still SAID macaroni.

MELISSA: Wait, they could be midwestern! I never said "pasta" until I moved to New York! Everything was "macaroni" or "Noodles." I worked at a really nice restaurant in NYC and the chef almost took my head off - he said "Are you saying NOODLES?!?!" He wanted me to say the type of pasta, and I was calling things generic noodles.

TED: I'm italian from Brooklyn, and if you say "macaroni" in Brooklyn in an italian neighborhood you get punched in the face.

Who are your celebrity crushes?

TED: My wife hates this. But I've only had one celebrity crush, and it was on Madeleine Stowe. And the thing is, we were flying back from the premiere in Toronto, and I see Madeleine Stowe in first class, and my wife says "there's your girlfriend."

MELISSA: That's a tricky one. Gosh, why am I forgetting his name? I don't really get crushes like that.

TED: Say "Steven Seagal."

MELISSA: He's really angular... he's always the bad guy... this is a terrible answer. This is the worst.

TED: Ryan Gosling?

MELISSA: No no no! He's older.... Blondish, like very extreme, angular, I"m totally aware this is the worst answer ever. Not Dennis Hopper.

TED: Peter Fonda?

MELISSA: No, oh my god. WILLEM DAFOE! That's who I'm describing! Thank you, my god, couldn't believe i couldn't come up with it. I don't really get celebrity crushes, but for the longest time, i was bonkers for Willem Dafoe.

I'm not alone.

What is the meaning of life?

TED: That life means nothing.

MELISSA: Awww. meaning of life? My kids and my husband.

TED: Aw, damn you. I'll pass.

Melissa: How was your time filming in Boston? Did you experience any crazy shenanigans? We'd love to have you back again!

MELISSA: I LOVED BOSTON. I love that town, I wanna go back, YES. Gimme your address and I'll come over.