Hi, I am Jerrod Carmichael, a stand-up comedian. Ask me anything.

Were you amused at how many times Daniel Tosh duped his audience into thinking they were going to see you on the show?

I was there for a lot of them, I thought it was hilarious

Jerrod just gotta say you're awesome. Will you ever do more Comedy Bang! Bang!? The fans want it

Somebody tweet Scott and tell him to call me!

I saw you open for Aziz and at the living room comedy in Austin during sxsw. Have you become republican rich yet??

Moving closer, I hope you are too!

Any funny Daniel Tosh stories you can share?

He's teaching me how to swim. I'm 25% there.

What was the best part of making Neighbors ?

Honestly..everything! I love those guys.

What's it like being friends with so many hot dudes?

Followup: Are you ever concerned that some of the dudes you're friends with are too hot and that when you all hang out you have a detrimental impact on the already dire climate change situation?

..is this Zac?

Dude, it took a while...but I just got Fatlip's joke.

PLEASE EXPLAIN IT TO ME!

would u go down on a guy for 1mil?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmwjpVxHjSI

How long before you replace Amy Schumer on Comedy Central?

She's irreplaceable.

Hey, I don't know if you remember me but we talked at Stand Up On The Spot like two months ago. When I drunkenly told you that I did my thesis on you, were you more creeped out, confused, or stoked?

STOKED, but creeped out by your user name. haaa

Oh no! It's not what you think! It's purely because of a dinosaur fetish.

thats actually pretty funny

What are your favorite clubs? Do you have strong opinions on lighting, like Todd Glass?

I'm more of a sound guy

What was your last job before you became a full time comedian?

Finishline! The only job I ever had. I wore khakis.

Hey man! I saw you at the Camden oddball fest and you were hilarious.

What advice would you give to young comedians just starting out?

Move to LA or New York, and then stop listening to everybody else.

What made you decide to go into comedy?

I rebelled against it for a while as you do anything new. Then my friend Ashley refused to talk to me again until I tried it. So I did.

Who's your favorite up and coming comics?

Jamar Neighbors is AMAZING!

Saw some of the preview stuff for the new HBO special (congrats on that!) and was really interested by you having notes up on stage. We all have sets where we do that, but what was the reasoning behind bringing a bit of that "behind-the-curtain" style to an HBO special?

I was honestly trying out some new shit. Couldn't stop just because there were cameras there. I wanted to be as honest as possible.

Who is your favorite character on the Nanny?

Niles! He was dope as shit

I saw you open for Daniel Tosh in Illinois. Two questions. What was it like spending so much time with Daniel? and can I expect to be able to see you perform in Illinois in the future?!

I'm at Up in Chicago in November! Come by!

And Daniel is really really nice. (dont tell him I said that)

What's your current living situation?

I'm surrounded by criminals!

Thats actually lyrics to a Biggie song, but it applies in Hollywood.

Twitter made me click this. How did HBO find you?

tinder

Jarrod, can you even...?

sometimes I can

Jerrod, I saw you at the Cellar about two years ago and it was perhaps the most I've laughed at comedy in my life. On the walk home my comrades and I were just circlejerking about your delivery and your sickle cell anemia joke. A few months later I started doing open mics and I was legit inspired by you. This subreddit makes me ask a question, so what is your favorite Bob Dylan album?

Thank you very much. I wish you all the best. And I didn't mind when he went electric.

Hey Jerrod, Loved your podcast with Pete Holmes. What stuck out to me was that you put "Keep Going" on your set list. Do you have any interest in starting your own podcast?

Probably not, can you believe I've never listened to a podcast? Seriously.

But if I start one, what should the topic be?

What is your favorite joke that you personally think is hilarious, but when you try it out in front of an audience just won't work?

Thanks, love the stand up!

I had this one joke years ago about Jesus coming back and being angry cause Chili's was closed on his birthday. Didn't work then, probably Doesn't work now.

If you got to have a weekly show on TV right now, what type of show would it be - Sketch comedy or sitcom or...?

I'm partial to sitcoms. When they're done right they're the best.

But I really want to have a variety show once a year, riff with friends and some musical guests. But not just top 40 songs, like album cuts from your favorite artists that you'd never see on television (Frank Ocean doing "Super Rich Kids"). Please tell me you're an exec cause thats almost a full pitch

What do you think of the Jackass movies ?

They're really funny. Bad Grandpa was INCREDIBLE though.

What do you do to measure your growth as an artist? Do you set attainable goals? Do you have a yearly, monthly, daily plan? What do you do to stay motivated in a career that requires you to be quite self-motivated? I'll take my answer off the air, thank you.

Wow, thats pretty heavy. Like Charlie Rose heavy. I like this series. Artists know when they can do more, so i measure growth by whether or not I'm listening to myself.

That and money. Money is a great indicator.

I got to see you open for Aziz at the Toyota Center a couple weeks ago cracking jokes about Beyonce. Will you be headlining your own solo tour and come back to Houston anytime soon?

Hopefully soon, I love Houston. Aziz and I went to NASA and I didnt tell any NASA jokes cause they were lovely people and came to the show. So now I have to come back to talk about it.

Hey Jerrod! I saw you at the New York Comedy festival in 2012 and it was fuckin glorious. You're relaxed conversational style blew me away considering how few years you'd been doing stand up at that point. So stoked to see your continued success.

I've noticed you deliver a lot of dark material in a sort of pleasant and cuddly type of way. Like you can almost come off as adorable while smiling and saying a horrible thing. Was that a conscious decision to lessen the likelihood of people groaning, or it that just naturally you?

I never want to say horrible things, I just want to explore really honest thoughts. I think me smiling is just my intentions showing.

Hey Jerrod can you do a back-flip?

No! Well maybe in a bounce house.

I recently saw you open for Aziz Ansari in OKC. What was it like working alongside him?

Also, what do you do to pass the time before shows? Do you like to explore the cities you travel to?

With Aziz..we eat! But you probably knew that already.

Can you give some general Jerrod Carmichael life advice?

Drink at least a liter of water a day. I prefer Mountain Valley Spring water.

Anything more specific?

What is your favorite bit to do when you're on stage?

honestly, it changes every day, thats the best part!

Hey Jerrod, Did things get weird with any of your friends in the comedy scene once you blew up a bit? I mean, you got a lot of funny comics in NYC and LA and you're a tight group... do you lose a bit of the magic of being a poor comedian when things start going right?

Friends are usually happy for each other. There are more hugs than you'd imagine actually.

Why can't I find any of your stand up on YouTube?

Because I want you to buy HBO. Not just for me, for a lot of dope shit.

Who is your most influential stand-up comic?

umm, I'd have to say Cosby

Do you feel there is a difference between a public show and a corporate show? Do you have to limit your jokes maybe in a corporate event?

I think they try to pay you just enough to compromise your artistic integrity. So it all evens out.

Favorite club in NY? The Stand won't shut up about you this past week on twitter.

Dont make them! I love the Stand! And the Cellar is incredible.

What's your favorite movie and why is it How High?

Coming to America!!! Those Tracy Morgan commercials in How High were hilarious though.

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No one likes the guy who's always "on" right?

Love your stuff. You're like Chris Rock, or even better. What exactly made you go into standup comedy? Did you get a lot of support while choosing this career? Is it a good career in terms of monetary returns? And tell me a joke?! :D (I'm trying to go into standup comedy as well, but Indian parents aren't as supportive.. :( )

Thank you! Don't be upset with your parents, they probably just don't understand because it's not a common career path. but if you love it, do it!

Do you have designated times when you'll have to write new material, or do you pretty much just write the jokes as they come to you?

Any subject in particular that you love to write about?

Thanks for the laughs!

As often as they come, some days more than others.

Thanks for laughing!

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Thank you for making my day!