I've been editing porn for half a decade. I also do other things for porn, like marketing and coming up with parody ideas.

Recently one of my videos gained widespread attention. I edited the video way back in May of 2012, and had nearly forgotten about it. A screenshot was reposted on Reddit and news outlets like Huffington Post, Gawker, PerezHilton, and more picked up the story. At the end of this seemingly typical porno, text reads:

Nine months later, Brooke gave birth to a baby boy.

She died in labour.

Mario never knew he had a child, and continues to creampie teens to this day.

I came up with that ending, and you can watch it here.

People have been asking me to do an AMA for a while now, but I kept putting it off. Now seems like as good of a time as any.

So, ask me anything about editing porn, my life, or this scene! I'm here all day!

Proof: We shoot content for the site Schoolgirl Internal, where this depressing scene comes from. Hosted image proof on porn.com

Update: I've been answering questions for almost 8 hours now, and I haven't even gone to the bathroom. My coworkers delivered me my lunch so I could keep eating. Work hours are over, so I'm going to go home now. I'll answer the rest of your questions tomorrow! It's been great so far.

Final Update: I've spent the past few hours answering most of your quetsions. If your Q didn't get answered, it probably did somewhere else in the thread. Thanks for the questions, I had a blast! I'm going now, but I will try an answer any final questions if I see them down the road.


Shameless plug: If anyone wants to tune in, we have a free camshow with pornstar Raven Rockette this Friday at 3pm EST

Comments: 3545 • Responses: 44  • Date: 

djiordje2427 karma

Do you ever secretly insert frames from Disney movies into the porn?

teekayxxx_ama2586 karma

hahaha I wish. We'd get sued up the ass.

themoop781861 karma

My favorite intro to a porn ever:

Dude Filming: "You ever been with a white guy before?"

Black Girl: "No..." said shyly and smiling.

Dude Filming: "Well, after this you're going to go right back to black guys... this isn't going to be that great."

I laughed at the refreshing honesty.

teekayxxx_ama500 karma

That's hilarious! I love it

betadan1745 karma

Maybe you could pitch a sequel and have brooks "kid" be the star, set in the future.. a sexy future.

teekayxxx_ama1608 karma

We've actually joked about doing something like this. Any aspiring writers care to expand upon this idea?

gizzardgullet544 karma

The kid, in searching for his real dad, visits all of the women his dad was with asking them for info on his whereabouts. Obviously he has to fuck the information out of them.

EDIT: Is it considered incest if the kid has sex with his adoptive mother?

teekayxxx_ama620 karma

We do "bang my stepmom" scenes, so... possibly not, from a legal standpoint

Your_Certificate453 karma

A post-apocalyptic future! Burning cars, gasmasks, sexy zombies!

Zom-bi Acockalypse!

Seriously, you'd get to push your post-production skills to the max and it would be awesome. Ps: many pornstars already have similar acting skills to zombies, so they'd just need slightly different makeup.

I'd love to write the script.

teekayxxx_ama864 karma

many pornstars already have similar acting skills to zombies

hahahaha, can confirm.

stayedclassy1643 karma

Do you purposely make the girls moans earsplittingly louder? This is relevant.

teekayxxx_ama1373 karma

Bahaha, no.

If anything, I try to make everything louder. I apply dynamics compression so the quieter stuff like dialogue is louder, but the loudest stuff stays where it's at. That way, you can turn the volume way down and still hear everything. That's my goal, anyway.

tenfootgiant718 karma

I think that Hollywood should learn something from your pornos. I always have to adjust the volume because it goes from just being able to barely hear voices to sounds that would compete with the origin of our universe in a matter of seconds.

neunen347 karma

that's because often those movies are mixed for theatre or home theatre systems in mind so they preserve more of the dynamic range.

i think it used to be that once films were done their box office run they would then get mixed for television or vhs release, but these days with tighter release dates, budgets, etc. they just stick with the original 5.1 and stereo mixes.

teekayxxx_ama441 karma

Exactly, I'd want my explosions to be louder than the dialogue. People complain about dynamic range, but it has it's time and place.

Music, for example, is far better with dynamics. Fuck the loudness war.

But yeah, when it comes to porn, I know that I don't really want everyone else in my house to hear.

tipsjt1397 karma

why did you put that at the end of a scene ?

teekayxxx_ama3239 karma

I needed an ending, and it was the first thing that came to mind. I knew it wasn't really a turn-on, but... who finishes a porno, honestly? It took two years for anyone to even take notice.

Coheedo1137 karma

If I have names for pornos who can I give them to or how do I get in the business of titles

teekayxxx_ama1207 karma

You can give suggestions to me!

Rickrickrickrickrick806 karma

What is the weirdest (or kinkiest I guess) scene that you've had to edit?

teekayxxx_ama1184 karma

This "strange addiction" parody where the chick kept sticking things in her ass. It was... weird. It still is. We didn't come up with the plot for this one. The producer sent us that on his own accord.

No_Disputin_Rasputin758 karma

Do you ever get really turned on by your job or are you immune?

teekayxxx_ama1505 karma

Honestly, mostly immune. Mostly.

I take meds (don't tell anyone) for anxiety and they get in the way of arousal. It sucks for my personal life, but makes editing porn a lot less uncomfortable!

Yetimania691 karma

the ending was the greatest thing since The Mist ending. But what made you decide to go with that?

teekayxxx_ama1363 karma

The site Schoolgirl Internal always ends with the girl pregnant, or a baby in a stroller. Then the girl finds the dude for the first time since having sex and confronts him, and after a quick discussion he runs away.

The producer who shot this scene forgot to shoot the proper ending, so I ended up writing that out of desperation.

Katie_Pornhub659 karma

What is your favorite ending that you can up with?

teekayxxx_ama517 karma

Hi Katie!!! Thanks for allowing us to host this Schoolgirl Internal clip on your site. Who says potential competitors can't be friends, eh?

So far, this one. Generally I don't do the writing... I leave that up to our talented writers.

NervousNeil636 karma

Is it true that once you're working in the porn industry, you're pretty much blacklisted from any other entertainment industry?

teekayxxx_ama1189 karma

Potentially, but only if people find out. Because I'm behind the scenes, I doubt I'd have this problem.

Sylvester Stallone, Cameron Diaz, Jackie Chan (sort of), and a bunch of the girls from Game of Thrones like Tyrion's girlfriend "Shae" started in porn, and they have careers.

Others, like teachers or beauty pageant contestants get fucked over if their secret gets leaked.

JuggerFucker629 karma

What aspect/s of porn do you consistently edit out?

teekayxxx_ama1788 karma

Most boringly, things like "action," "cut," and instructions like "slide into lazy doggie in like ten seconds."

Girls still do porn during that time of the month, and sometimes the makeup sponges they shove way down in there don't cut it, so I have to splice out blood.

Recently, a girl shit herself on camera, and I had the pleasure of watching that leafy green turd roll onto her fingers... and then she licked her fingers. I don't think she even realized she shat herself.

Anything fun, I try to put it on the blog.

esandarius2266 karma

It's too early in the morning for this thread

teekayxxx_ama996 karma

I'll be here for hours to come, so feel free to come back later. I'd recommend eating first, not during.

vengefulspirit99343 karma

I threw up a little

teekayxxx_ama1132 karma

We all did.

I wanted to give it to efukt, but I don't want the girl to get any bad press. So instead, the clip of her shitting lays buried, deep in my hard drive.

Slow_Clapton546 karma

What did she name the boy and where is he now?

teekayxxx_ama1417 karma

Luigi, and nobody really seems to care where he is.

Arcterion531 karma

Several questions:

1) What is the most devious thing you have seen that made you question your job?

2) Favourite pornstar?

3) Titties or ass?

teekayxxx_ama820 karma

1) I'll have to think about this one and get back to you... nothing is coming to mind. I have had moments where I think to myself, "this is what I'm doing with my life..."

2) I don't have one favorite... there are too many babes to choose from! I did like April O'Neil but she's back in school or something. Most recently, I've had a thing for Raven Rockette... she did a free camshow for us and, usually I'm bored to tears when girls are masturbating, but she was a blast.

3) Titties, all the way.

juma02364 karma

How's the pay?

teekayxxx_ama748 karma

Because my boss is probably reading this: "AMAZING"

Realistically, it pays the bills. I'm no millionaire though, not by a long shot.

Matt3794356 karma

What do you think of websites like efukt that give porn a whole new reason for viewing? (comedy really). Do you think it could open up a new market for porn directors and editors? I never thought that people could watch porn for reasons other than jerking it so I think possibilities Are endless.

Also, that creampie line kills me every time. Thank you for that

teekayxxx_ama517 karma

I love efukt. That facial abuse guy (who trolls wannabe pornstars) is a fucking asshole... and also incredibly hilarious. I hate myself for laughing at that guy's jokes.

It could definitely open up a new market, and the possibilities are endless!

Lol, you're welcome! I really didn't think anyone would ever take notice...

SEND_TIT_PICS352 karma

Do you think you can top the plot of lemon stealing whore?

teekayxxx_ama366 karma

I'm convinced it's untoppable. James Deen and Haley Paige(?) knocked it out of the park.

If anyone has ideas, I'm all ears.

tipsjt339 karma

how long does it take to edit a porn scene ?

teekayxxx_ama616 karma

Depends on the scene, and the person who shot the scene. This one producer never really talks, so I can edit the scene at almost 2x. Sure, it sounds like chipmunks having sex, but I can get it finished faster.

The ones with more complex intros, or directors who are more particular about how the talent positions themselves and make lots of notes take longer.

The ones that take the longest are the parodies, because I have to spend a lot of time coming up with special effects or title sequences.

So somewhere between an hour, and a few days.

ArkiliasX337 karma

So do you ever look at spread sheets or word documents when you're supposed to be working? How do you clear your mind after a long day of looking at porn?

teekayxxx_ama214 karma

Spreadsheets and word documents are part of the job.

But I do eye-bleach with Reddit... and look at more naked girls. Don't ask me how it works, but somehow, it does.

Once I leave the building, my mind is pretty much clear already. I guess it's just something that automatically happens after 5 years of working here.

-Chazz-313 karma

What inspired you to get into the porn industry?

teekayxxx_ama760 karma

I got in by accident. I sent out my one and only resume ever to a website company, and it wasn't until my second interview that I found out it was a porn company. It was pretty crazy.

Kijafa303 karma

What do you think of /r/SFWporngifs?

teekayxxx_ama435 karma

I've seen a lot of subreddits, but I've somehow missed this one. I love it, and I might just contribute, if I find something good enough.

Turdsworth266 karma

Is porn typically shot sequentially or is shooting broken up?

teekayxxx_ama325 karma

The video is generally shot sequentially. The only exception I can really think of are the Schoolgirl Internal videos (like the one I'm now somewhat famous for). Obviously, they're fake. So, the pickup (intro) was shot outside, then the ending, and then the sex. Just so they didn't have to go back outside a second time, it was easier to shoot the beginning and end together.

Besides this, it's very sequential. Stills are the only exception. All porn scenes come with HIRES stills that follow the story of the scene, so we can make good thumbnails that people want to click on and stuff. Usually, the hires images are shot first, before the real sex. Then the sex on video, and then immediately after the cumshot, they take stills of that. So the images are still sequential, but there are big gaps of time.

Bradyk1262 karma

Favorite scene you've edited?

teekayxxx_ama649 karma

There's a James Bond parody that isn't online yet. It turned out really well! It's always fun to edit something that isn't just sex. Some days, the old in-out in-out can get boring after a while.

flyer716209 karma

Premiere Pro or Final Cut??

teekayxxx_ama221 karma

Premiere Pro. Even with the awful Creative Cloud woes, it's integration with After Effects is helpful, and the Media Encoder was the real reason we picked it in the first place.

SpookySP173 karma

If you could do a porn without any restrictions what would it be?

teekayxxx_ama601 karma

I don't know man, there aren't many restrictions on porn. It's pretty freeing. Most of the restrictions are things I wouldn't want to see anyway, like scat or incest.

Edit: I just saw an article on Oculus Rift—fuck you Facebook. VR porn would be pretty crazy to try out.

indeedidosupport126 karma

teekayxxx_ama100 karma

I figured it might...

Koggotd158 karma

Do you watch porn, or has being in the business ruined it for you?

teekayxxx_ama312 karma

I was never much of a porn watcher. Nobody will believe this, but it's true. So no, it hasn't ruined anything.

That being said, I don't think I could get-off to anything I've had a hand in editing. I'd be too distracted, knowing what went on behind the scenes and between cuts.

derekfor_real149 karma

Whats the worst scene you've had to edit out?

teekayxxx_ama439 karma

I mentioned the girl who shat on her fingers, but I'll go into more detail. She had two fingers in her ass, applying pressure. She had a crazy orgasm and this leafy green shit came out her ass. I don't think she noticed, because she licked her fingers. After, the cameraman was still rolling and neither him, nor the dude in the scene really seemed to care about the shit.

They had a "shit happens" sort of attitude, literally.

neo_troublemaker140 karma

Any downside of you job ???

teekayxxx_ama363 karma

Being anonymous. Legally, I can't gloat to all of my friends that something I edited made it to the front page of news websites like Huffington Post. I'm not allowed to talk about my job. That's the only major downside.

Also, I couldn't really put "edits porn" in a resume. So, five years of "something" that I can't really talk about with any future employers.

tubadeedoo212 karma

Would you just put it down as 'film editing?'

I mean, there is the likelihood they would ask what kind of film, but it's probably better than an employment gap in a resume.

honestlyimeanreally35 karma

Yeah, and really if you can edit porn really well I'm sure you could edit normal stuff just as well, too.

Sucks that stigma is attached to your profession.

teekayxxx_ama65 karma

I agree.

It's changing a bit, I think. Pornstar James Deen in a Lindsay Lohan film. Lines are blurring a little bit.

xxflufyniplesxx117 karma

[deleted]

teekayxxx_ama192 karma

We have a marketing group that comes up with parodies as a team. So, I don't think there are any that I actually came up with by myself. I think I may have been the one to bring up the secret agent theme, which lead to a parody called James Bondage (which isn't online just yet).

One of the ones that turned out the best was our American Whore Story. It's pretty wordy at the beginning, but it just looks great... sex outdoors by a fire, hot girls, etc. Had some fun with the intro and the special effects at the end.

Edit: Forgot about our Home Alone parody, too.

Professorfunknagle103 karma

Just recently my friend and I were appalled to find out there is no "Dogma" porn parody. Can you please rectify this? I would like to see a Salma Hayek pornalike in the pigtail stripper scene and with the high ponytail. Thanks Porn editing guy!

teekayxxx_ama106 karma

Noted! No promises, but your voice has been heard. If it happens, I'll be sending you a DM.

pacsmack5491 karma

[deleted]

teekayxxx_ama367 karma

One time we got a relatively normal scene back that had a "screwnicorn" ending. Two incredibly hot girls (Hayden Winters and Justine Joli) with dildos strapped to their heads.

Another time, the producer dressed up as wolverine and fucked girls with dildo-claws.

lioemases31 karma

Thanks for the AMA! What was the craziest idea you've had for a porno?

teekayxxx_ama32 karma

I'd like to have crazy ideas, but I just really have to shrink everything down to a scale that's cheap enough for us to shoot.

Every girl we add inflates the price of the scene by almost $1000. In a day and age where not as many people pay for porn, we're more limited than we used to be.

Plus, I'm sure you all could come up with crazier stuff than I ever could.

go_WAM20 karma

True story: I went to high school with Brooke, and you cannot believe how happy it makes me knowing she hit the big time. My buddy actually went to a homecoming dance with her.

teekayxxx_ama25 karma

True questions: Is she doing alright? I think she's out of the industry now, right? If you still have contact with her, can you let her know that I'm sorry for killing her off? Unless you don't know her well enough to contact her, in which case, leave her alone and let her live her life. :)

tipsjt18 karma

what porn company's and sites have you worked for

teekayxxx_ama35 karma

Most notably, porn.com. Soon, Wankz (which is currently getting a facelift).

vengefulspirit9918 karma

What is a genera of porn that's petty popular but you would never do personally?

teekayxxx_ama45 karma

I have to do what I'm told, so I've had to edit porn with Transsexual people, and gay porn, even though I'm straight and that's not my thing.

There's lots of fetish stuff, like vore and balloons—I don't really get the appeal, but I'd edit it as long as I'm getting paid. ;)