I'm Mary-Louise Parker, actress, writer, and goat-herder. AMAA.

Just so you know, my girlfriend and I have a Celebrity Freebie List and you're my number 1.

Your move.

God bless you. What’s your borough?

How does it feel to be the icon of milfs in this world?

Fantastic. Everything you could imagine and more.

Did you actually drink all of those drinks in Weeds? (Always a starbucks straw...) I was always curious. You must have had to pee a lot.

Also I love you, please have my babies.

I drank a lot, in fact I think they show me peeing in one season at the border of Mexico. So yes you are correct, I was well hydrated.

And you're so sweet, if I was still of child bearing age I would pump a couple out for you.

Do your goats ever stand on your donkey?

Like this.

No, but you can bet I’m going to try to get them to do it this weekend.

I hope this doesn't come off as insulting or objectifying, but how do you look so good for someone your age? What's the secret? Please tell me you're not sacrificing these goats you herd...

I love that, are you kidding insulting? Keep insulting me. Yes, there are some rituals involved with the goats.

No, that’s so flattering, thank you. I've always lived a clean life. The women in my family look young. I think when you err on the other side, with injections and all that, I think it can actually make you look older. I think some of it is luck. You know, I don’t eat red meat. I drink goat milk every day, but only in small quantities…

How do I stop mourning the end of Weeds? /help

Roll a fat one and order Dominoes. Extra thin crust. And know I love you.

Kevin Nealon, Doug from Weeds, graced us with an AMA last April and there was one question from /u/sorcha_b which was not answered. I'm wondering if you could answer that today.

In the final scene of 'Weeds,' when all five of you are sitting on the steps, Doug said something that made everyone laugh - what was it?

I wish I knew, I remember the moment but not the words.

You turned down Desperate Housewives to do WEEDS (Thank GOD.) Are there any movie / TV roles that you turned down that you regret not being a part of?

I don’t. You’re usually not the first choice for any job, so someone probably turned down half the jobs that I’ve done, and when I think of the things I have turned down, one actress that I know in particular has ended up doing some of them, and each time I thought she did so much better than I would have. I’m not a competitive person with other women or other actresses. With my female actress friends I’m always proud and happy for them to do well.

Hey, absolutely admire you, the final scene of Season 3 of Weeds ("Judah, if you're still here, I tried!") is my favorite scene on TV ever.

What was your favorite/most memorable scene of the show?

Thank you so much for that actually, because I was never happy with it when we shot it. I knew it was such an important scene.

I liked the scene where I’m ordering a gift basket for my son on the phone while I’m driving. I just thought it was so well written. When you get a scene like that, that is so beautifully written, you just want to stay out of the way of it and not ruin it.

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I would say, there was a man years ago that insisted that I’d gone to high school with him and that we’d had dinner, and then he started screaming at me. But I just wanted to ignore that part of my life. He just recognized me and didn’t know who I was.

People have been incredibly sweet. I especially love getting Japanese fan letters because they tend to put a lot of stickers all over and draw smiley faces.

Hola Blanca, I've always wondered, who was your favorite actor to "have sex" with on weeds and why? Thanks for that show by the way, loved every minute of it.

Hola back to you. You know, there were so many delicious scenes that I was lucky enough to do. For theatrical reasons, I love the scenes with Justin at the very end of the show. I just thought it was emotionally and dramatically really interesting, and chemically they were all pretty great.

Especially anything with Damian. Delicioso.

What was the biggest difference between working on the set of the West Wing and the set of Weeds?

I didn’t have to run the phone to call my brother to ask him what a caucus was. I had to do a lot of research for West Wing so I would know what I was saying. Also, West Wing was all indoors, which affected my level of sunblock.

Thanks for responding! Today is a cool day.

Thank you for that. Because I think I’ve lost 20 pounds doing this, so your validation is going a long way.

What was your experience like working on Fried Green Tomatoes? As a 27 year old man should I be embarrassed that I have seen that movie countless times? Towanda!

Only if you’re wearing an apron right now. In which case, actually maybe you should be proud. I loved that experience. It was so many years ago. I just remember there were no cell phones back then, and I had a boyfriend who wanted me to call him at lunch time every day, so I had to spend all lunch waiting for the only phone. I loved making that movie. I got a leech stuck to my leg in the scene where I had to dive in the swamp and a grip had to come over and burn it off with his lighter.

Supposedly the Counting Crows song "Butterfly in Reverse" was written about you. Have you ever heard it before? If so how does it make you feel to know that you inspired it?

It was, it was written by Adam Duritz and Ryan Adams. I know them, I love the song. It doesn’t get a lot of airplay though. Adam told me he started writing it the night after I won a Tony, and then Ryan came over. They’re two of my favorite singers and good friends, both of them.

What was your reaction like when you found out Weeds was being canceled?

I remember my son had a much stronger reaction, he wanted to stay in California for the next season. I don’t remember my personal reaction. Just that I was disappointed I’m sure, you know.

My son said “Why aren’t they doing another season?” and I said “Oh, I don’t think they want to pay for it.” He said “I’ll pay for it, I’ll use all my allowance.” He likes going to California for 3 months every summer.

I couldn’t believe that it went on for 8 years, I just felt like we got away with something.

Tell us something about yourself that people might find surprising.

I’m really, really hard on myself. And I make excellent scones. But they’re never good enough.

Do you ever think about what you would do in an apocalypse? Any plans? Maybe then it would time to start smoking weed?

I’d get all the pillows in my home, put them in the movie room, hunker down and watch any Miyazaki movie with my kids. Maybe drink root beer straight out of the bottle.

How did you get into dwarf goats?

I was googling donkeys at donkeyrescue.com, a donkey rescue site, and I realized a donkey would be more work, and that goats would be more low maintenance, so I was lead to goats. And I kept trying to make my needs more manageable, so the goats kept getting smaller and smaller. One of them they said was a dwarf goat, but he has tripled in size... But now I have a donkey too, so I’ve fulfilled my dream.

Ever considered rescuing llamas?

I took my kids to an Amish farm in Pennsylvania last year and we had some quality time with some llamas and I really enjoyed it. I’m sure if there was one up for rescue or if some wandered up to my door I would take them in, but none have come scratching as of yet.

What was the most fun episode of Weeds to shoot? Also, how does Bruce Willis's head feel?

Divine. I wish it was here right now.

What's your funniest story involving Kevin Nealon?

The last scene he shot on the show, he was off-camera for Hunter, and Hunter couldn’t get through a half of a take because Kevin was making him laugh so hard. I have the whole thing on tape. I have reams of footage of Hunter just laughing and trying to get one sentence out. But Kevin is so funny naturally, he’s just so inherently witty and clever and silly, that any one of us could say the exact same thing and it would never be funny.

Big fan of Weeds.

I was wondering if you were as sad as I was when they got rid of the opening song for the show?

I loved when they had different people do different versions of the song, and I was really sad when there was no musical intro. One of the producers Lisa and I kept fighting for that. She really, really loved it. And I think the last year she kind of put her foot down about it, so that’s why they brought it back for the last season. But I loved it most when there were different versions of it.

Hello, Mary-Louise! You're awesome!

I have two questions:

1. When getting the main role as the awesome and lucky(most of the time) Mrs. Botwin, were you informed upfront of the risque nature that Nancy would experience?

2. While on the set with your TV family, did you ever develop any maternal connection with Hunter and Alex?

First of all, thank you, you’re awesome too. I pretty much picked that show because I loved both the soulfulness of it and its perversity, so I knew it would be pretty dark, and I might be responsible for some of the risque direction it took at times. But I think I knew it was going to be dark. I like that it was dark.

Alex lives quite far away, and we didn’t have as many scenes together, but I love him and I have a soft spot for him. Hunter is a member of my family. We communicate every other day, and I went across country in an RV with his parents and my kids and Hunter’s sister. Hunter is really my family.

Were you happy with the way Weeds ended?

I loved the final episode. I thought Jenji wrote a really, really, really great final episode for the show.

Hi Mary,

First off, you're incredibly gorgeous and talented.

Secondly, how does being a mom compare in real life when you've played diverse motherly roles on screen, such as in Weeds and in Saved?

Thanks for the AMA!

Thank you so much. I appreciate that. First of all there’s no job harder in the world then being a mother. I thought I was self critical as an actress until I became a mother, and then I realized I’d hit a whole other level of self examination and judgement . I think its the hardest and most important thing I’ll do in my life, and every day I fail a little and succeed a little. Mostly, I’m just grateful that I have them. I didn’t think I could love anything as much as acting really until I had my kids.

Did playing Nancy make you more pro-weed/have more sympathy for drug dealers?

I don't know that I have sympathy for drug dealers necessarily, but I do think it made me more hyper-aware of the disconnect between alcohol being legal and marijuana being illegal. So I think generally if things are illegal, in some ways it makes them sexier, and makes them more dangerous, which as a mother makes me want them to sell pot at 7/11 if it makes it, you know….

My kids are little so I don't even want them to drink Diet Coke, but they have to live in the world.

Celebrity crush, male or female?

I have a crush on Alison Pill’s talent, but I don’t really want to get with her. I would say, most of my celebrity crushes I’ve gotten to at least simulate romance with, which is frankly usually better than a real relationship. Most of my crushes are probably musicians or poets anyway. I have a big crush on Mark Strand.

What is it like working with Bruce Willis?

Bruce is a dreamboat. Sweet and generous and you know, always happy in the morning to see you. And he’s a real man. He’s a manly guy.

What is the funniest thing to happen on the set of Weeds?

One time I was doing a love scene, and no one could hear the director say “cut”, and it went on so long that I thought I was going to have a change-of-life baby. My makeup artist ran over to see if she could hear anything, and we just kept going and it was so gnarly. I had some war wounds.

Also, I don’t drive, which I think is better for the world in general, and everyone knew that I didn’t drive and I loved our transportation. We had to go to another spot on the lot to get our picture taken in this enormous bus, and we thought it’d be funny if I drove it.

I didn't know you were a writer. Cool! Have you written/would you consider writing a book? What do you do when you feel stuck writing?

That’s an excellent question. I’m best as a deadline writer, so especially with Esquire, if they give me a word count limit and a deadline I’m most productive.

People have approached me about writing a book, but my level of perfectionism is so high that I keep editing the same ten pages of the same story, and I can never find a way to finish anything. So I think what I’ve decided to do is maybe release a book of short stories, if I can finish them, but I do fare better when given a word count and I can hear a clock ticking.

Have you ever done anything worse than pot?

I’ve never done pot, I’ve only had a pot lollipop. Somebody had given me one as a present and I was feeling super nauseous. I kept it in my shoe cabinet for months, and I remembered it was there, and I was feeling so awful. So I dug it out and tried to peel the plastic off of it and it did absolutely nothing. It was very disappointing. I’m not opposed to the idea of smoking pot, it just never seemed liked the right time, and I have an addictive personality.

Hello Ms Parker. That's a pretty sweet cheeseburger phone.

Did working on Saved! have any impact on how you view religion or those that practice it?

That particular movie didn’t, no, but it’s something that I think about a lot, and try to instill some spirituality in my children, which is difficult when you have to navigate the expectations of organized religion or people who are really wedded to one doctrine or another. But it is something that I think about a lot.

As for my phone, yesterday the guy came to turn on my phone in my apt was trying to have some fun goes "the cheeseburger was hot!" It was the only phone we had in the house.

My girlfriend (now wife) and I swore we saw you at the MOMA in the summer of either 2009 or 2010 (we can't quite remember). We didn't want to follow you around like creepers to make sure, though. Any chance that was you?

Haha. I suggest you start keeping a journal so you can keep your summers straight. Next time say hi or wave. I can’t really recall to be honest… maybe I should start keeping a journal too!

Do you drink iced coffee in real life?

I wasn’t drinking any coffee at all when we started, and then I started drinking coffee around season 3. I started holding the cup like a claw around the top, and that carried over into my real life. Sometimes I see people smirking at me when I’m walking down the street holding a cup of coffee like that, and now it’s kind of ingrained in me.

With these strong but delicate roles like Nancy Botwin or Ruth (from Fried Green Tomatoes), do you draw from yourself in great deal or are these characters based on someone in your life? Also, what is your dream role if any?

Ruth was based on my mother largely. I mean, she was a character in a book first, so I tried to draw from the text. But I used my mother a lot in bringing her to life. Nancy felt very separate from me, which is what made her fun to play. Her instincts were very different from my instincts, and the scenes where I felt like I failed were when I erred more on the side of Mary-Louise than Nancy. There were several scenes that I asked to reshoot that I actually did reshoot. When you do a show for that long you run the danger of, at times, starting to creep into your character.

If you could be any Marvel Superhero who would you be? and why?

Isn’t there one that has really stretchy long arms? Because then I could be upstairs, and if one of my kids hit the other I could reach down and separate them, or reach into the fridge and make their breakfast. I just think it would help me manage the single parenthood thing. Maybe I could be the superhero that has 3 extra long stretchy arms? I think it would really limit my dating future, which is questionable at the moment anyway.

If you were going to be any type of muffin, why type of muffin would you be?

Excellent question. I’m famous in certain circles for my own muffins. But I bake without a cookbook, and at times that leads to culinary brilliance, and other times, it’s “Mom, no one’s going to eat that.”

Your perfect sandwich?

Is a fish taco a sandwich? I would say anything with melted cheese, avocado. I love the Big Macro at M Cafe in Los Angeles.

Do/did you prefer working on-screen or on Broadway? Thanks for the AMA!

Thanks for asking. I like working, period. Generally, I’ve enjoyed stage more, but as I get older, and now that I’m a mother, stage can be incredibly taxing, so I have to be really in love with a play to decide to do it.

What is the best compliment you have ever received?

"Mommy, you’re the best mommy on earth." Or, "Mommy I wish I could marry you."

As an actor, what in your opinion is a Must-See movie that everyone needs to watch? and why?

I have a hard time turning on my TV. I don’t watch a ton of movies. I would say I love To Kill a Mockingbird and I love the scene with Gregory Peck, when he comes back and he has that long monologue about everything that happened and you can only see part of his face, which I think is kind of remarkable, that coverage of it - that the camera doesn’t move and it shows how much you can get from someone when really all you can see is their back. He’s doing it all with what they’re not showing you.

Nice to have you on here, Ms. Parker! :)

1. If you had the ability to literally transform into other actors, what's the first actress (or actor) you'd choose?
2. What's a weird or interesting habit, ritual or quirk that you have that we probably wouldn't know about?
3. You're stunning!

Thanks for doing this AMA!

I’m more into shape-shifting. I might rather be a donkey than an actor.

I eat a lot of candy and I especially like smarties. The only other person I know who likes smarties is Jenji Kohan who sorts them into piles by color, which is awesome.

Hi Mary,

What’s your opinion on the legalization of Marijuana?

I think everyone agrees it’s the best idea. I mean, I think if marijuana is going to be illegal you need to really reexamine why alcohol is legal. And Sudafed for that matter.

What's one role you wish you'd gotten at the time, but looking back are glad you didn't?

I tend to forget about roles and now I don’t really read anything unless it has an offer with it. That’s two hours I’d rather spend with my kids. I’m losing parts right now as I do reddit, but I don’t know about them. I’m blissfully ignorant.

What is your favorite: Book? Color? Season? City? Song? Article of clothing? Type of sock? Style of underwear? Activity? TV Show? Type of shoe? Genre of movie? Musical Artist? Author? Food ? Website? Holiday? Animal? Fictional character? Snack?

To Kill a Mockingbird. Copper. Fall. Tom Waits, “Please Call Me Baby”; Bruce Springsteen, “Atlantic City”; and “We Belong Together”. Goggles. I’ll think about the rest.