Comments: 399 • Responses: 79  • Date: 

thelongdickofthelaw272 karma

Just the one penis though? yawn

CreepyOldThreeBalls193 karma

only one penis. it's not the biggest or the best penis, but he's a fine penis, and he's served me well.

thelongdickofthelaw135 karma

With our usernames we'd make a formidable super hero team

CreepyOldThreeBalls160 karma

we could be the crotch of justice.

Omnilatent19 karma

I'm pretty sure you'd get an 8.4 for that movie on imdb

CreepyOldThreeBalls20 karma

speaking of extra balls and movies... there is actually a porno called E3: the extra testicle. enjoy.


Omnilatent13 karma

I don't know how I should feel about this.

CreepyOldThreeBalls30 karma

well, just don't be crotchety. that's our job.

BlackCaaaaat59 karma

Two dick guy has set an impossible standard.

solidwhetstone17 karma

If these two guys made a porn together, what would it be called I wonder?

CreepyOldThreeBalls44 karma


Agent4nderson164 karma

You've got some balls, coming here.

CreepyOldThreeBalls135 karma

i am slightly more ballsy than most.

terranitdown27 karma

one third more ballsy actually, and 3 times as ballsy as some guys too!

edit: I don't math well

LyingPervert22 karma

Infinitely more balls than most women

BlackCaaaaat37 karma

My boobs would like to speak to you.

CreepyOldThreeBalls54 karma

my nuts would probably respond.

ballsie6913 karma

How ballsie we talkin

CreepyOldThreeBalls14 karma

not as ballsy as your namesake good sir, but as you can see from the picture, (i have fairly large hands) and that's quite a handful. so pretty, pretty, prettttty ballsy. (in my best larry david, of course).

Eric_tion78 karma

2 dicks, 3 balls, whats next, 4 boobs??? please be 4 boobs..

CreepyOldThreeBalls145 karma

that'd be udderly fantastic.

Stonegray20 karma


CreepyOldThreeBalls34 karma


Eric_tion17 karma

uhh.. uhh. i froze up, i cannot think of a followup pun. HELP ME!! :(

CreepyOldThreeBalls37 karma

you should mooove over if you can't handle it.

LyingPervert52 karma

You and double dick dude should make a porno

CreepyOldThreeBalls50 karma

i'm good on that. in me personal sex scenarios i tend to limit it to one dick in the room.

BlackCaaaaat13 karma

I would actually pay to see that. So much genitalia.

vivian608019 karma

Totally read that as "such genitalia"

I was gonna comment

very testicles

BlackCaaaaat11 karma


kylestark237 karma

Such reproduction.

CreepyOldThreeBalls21 karma

much balls. so sweaty.

Brett_Favre_43 karma

Not if you prefer the female type.

CreepyOldThreeBalls4 karma

i prefer the female type, but i'd have to watch it at least once.

you-know-whats-up38 karma

So we found out where Lance Armstrong's missing testicle went.

CreepyOldThreeBalls82 karma

i got his tour de france titles too. mwahahahaaaaaaaaa.

jesse9o337 karma

After being hit in the testes, have you ever made the joke, "Let me just check something... 1...2...and 3"?

CreepyOldThreeBalls42 karma

more times than i can count. hahaa.

Sahaquiel_921 karma

Do you feel lucky to be one of 200 cases of triorchidism in medical history?

CreepyOldThreeBalls39 karma

it's a few higher than that i believe now, but yet. but oddly enough, a really good buddy of mine, grew up in same town, also has this. we'd know each other for years before realizing it. now we have a special handshake. (no homo)

bigfattentacles19 karma

Hi three!

CreepyOldThreeBalls11 karma



I got a couple questions:

1) When you ejaculate, is it any different than the average male's ejaculation? For example, is there a larger volume of cum or higher sperm count? Does it look extra thick?

2) Do you think the sperm from each testicle is as good? Would the extra testicle's sperm be duds or yield offspring that might have birth defects?

3) Do you get more testosterone, and would you consider yourself more "macho" than other guys?

4) Would you consider yourself easily aroused or a fast finisher?

5) Do you have to milk yourself more frequently to prevent prostate inflamation?

CreepyOldThreeBalls13 karma

while i've given most of these answers already, and fairly wittier, i'll still answer, but with the cliff notes version: 1- pretty normal from what i'm told. 2- it's good enough that i had a healthy child. no defects, no health issues. from tests of my sperm years ago, my sperm all looked to be healthy and normal. (though i do not plan on having any more children) 3- no more testosterone. but i tend to do a lot more dumbass "macho" shit than other people... but that's a unrelated issue i think. 4- no, pretty standard. other than the extra lump and crowded underoos, not much abnormal.


I added a 5th question when I remembered a highlight from double dick dude:

Do you need to milk yourself more frequently to prevent prostate inflamation?

CreepyOldThreeBalls57 karma

no. there's no extra production. (milk myself... lol...) i beat my dick like it owes me money out of pure enjoyment, not out of necessity.

upstage12316 karma

Do you have nine toes?

CreepyOldThreeBalls20 karma

i do. and if you buy those 9, i throw in the 10th one for free.

greyavenger11 karma

You should say your photo is NSFW. Someone may get in trouble opening that link at work.

My question for you is does that affect your sex life at all?

CreepyOldThreeBalls35 karma

well, i figure anyone looking at a post about three balls and looking for picture proof has some inclination it may be shots of my low hangin fruit. but point taken. will edit.

doesn't effect my sex life in any real physical manner, other than it's a neat little sideshow attraction that interests some females into further exploration.

_vargas_9 karma

it's a neat little sideshow attraction that interests some females into further exploration.

Are you saying it makes them want to "poke around" in back?

CreepyOldThreeBalls5 karma

no, it hasn't ever lead to that.

_vargas_8 karma

Well, you'll get there eventually. We all do.

CreepyOldThreeBalls5 karma

well, i guess it'd depend on the situation. not saying i wouldn't. not saying i would. totally noncommittal, alcohol intake and hotness of chick would be relevant factors. hahaha.

EnhancementShaman6 karma

You should go to bars with a tshirt that says I HAVE THREE TESTICLES, AMA.

CreepyOldThreeBalls3 karma

i've used my balls to make bets and win drinks and love alike. it's always a good time dropping my pants in a room full of eager stranger with their eyes fixed on my crotch. at this point i no longer really need a shirt... most people are aware of my situation.

TheDuckPortal9 karma

You should get a Tri-Force tattoo'd onto your ballsack...

For us? Please?

CreepyOldThreeBalls11 karma

lol. i tried once a few years back. couldn't find an artist that wanted to handle my balls. maybe i'll try again. i'm not totally opposed.

SinisterKid9 karma

Today: Everybody checking to see if they have a third nut.

CreepyOldThreeBalls20 karma

i check multiples times a day just to make sure mine's still there.

Fast-and-bulbous7 karma

Did you happen to see the two penis guy's AMA?

CreepyOldThreeBalls12 karma

yes. it was my commenting in that thread, followed by someone asking me in there, that lead me to do this. (diff user name. had to make new acct)

ceedeez6 karma

Boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs?

CreepyOldThreeBalls22 karma

boxer briefs. briefs too confining, boxers too much freedom, shit gets tangled. boxer briefs to keep it all where it needs to be and less clacking around.

wtfisdisreal5 karma

have you considered cutting one off and wearing it as a necklace?

CreepyOldThreeBalls10 karma

i've considered donating it to a friend with one ball. but then i think how attached i am to it and say fuck it.

courtFTW5 karma

2 vaginas, 2 dicks, now 3 testicles!

What's next, reddit, WHAT'S NEXT!?!?!

CreepyOldThreeBalls25 karma

i wont be happy until i see a man with a dick on one thigh, a vagina on the other thigh, and he's fucking himself while doing the funky chicken. that is my dream.

craftygnomes5 karma

No question. just an internet high-five.

CreepyOldThreeBalls5 karma

reciprocates high five. nod.

craftygnomes3 karma

Your username is fantastic by the way.

CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma


BlackCaaaaat4 karma

When did you realise that your balls were unusual? Were your parents pretty upfront about it?

CreepyOldThreeBalls11 karma

they had no idea. it's not easily detectable unless you're looking for it. mine was discovered after a particularly horrible shot to the nuts during a baseball game. was concerned it was a ruptured testicle. while doing a sonogram they discovered it was an extra.

BlackCaaaaat5 karma

Was your mind totally blown?

CreepyOldThreeBalls11 karma

not really. i was too young to really care or take into mind everything it would eventually encompass. i was pretty damn reserved about it for the long time. coincidentally, til about the time i discovered alcohol... my good old friend alcohol convinced me to start waving them around like a proud flag. i'm more amazed by it today in reflection than i was finding out.

BlackCaaaaat2 karma

Like a proud flag

You, sir, are magnificent.

CreepyOldThreeBalls8 karma

shame and fucks to give. i have neither. lol.

2Chainz4Braceletz4 karma

Do you produce 150% more semen than the average man?

CreepyOldThreeBalls9 karma

no. just 150% more awesomeness.

boston_shua4 karma

Can my brother have your third testicle? He's down to one and needs it.

CreepyOldThreeBalls7 karma

i wouldn't feel comfortable with my testicle in your brother's sac. sorry.

boston_shua14 karma

Don't be a ball-hog

CreepyOldThreeBalls4 karma

while i love someone begging for my nuts, it's weird that it's for your brother. just sayin. or is it for your "brother".

boston_shua3 karma

But... you have extra

CreepyOldThreeBalls3 karma

that's like telling a chick with DDs that's she's got extra. it's not extra. it's right where it's supposed to be.

boston_shua2 karma

Yeah, but if she had 3 tits...

CreepyOldThreeBalls3 karma

it'd be like destroying the mona lisa.


What's the worst and best thing about having 3 balls?

CreepyOldThreeBalls10 karma

best... they've been used to win me bar bets and entice women into sexy situations... worst... it's crowded. and i've sat on them way too many times.

booshislove3 karma

Have you ever been rejected for sex due to the 3rd ball? Has it ever been a bigger turn on to other women?

CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma

never been a deal breaker, no. but yes, it has been a kink for some girls. definitely seems to draw more oral sex attention if they know about it beforehand.

CreepyOldThreeBalls3 karma

well, since i unexpectedly and uncomfortably took pics of my balls, anyone have any bright ideas where i should x-post them? since they're out there i might as well air them out.

jeffsnotfaking3 karma

Do you tell a girl before you sleep with her?

If not, what is the typical reaction when they find out?

CreepyOldThreeBalls6 karma

most i think i have. it's kind of a widely known thing, i don't hide it. i've been known to prove it in public places when asked.

and unless i tell someone, there's not much chance of them ever knowing. even when fiddling around down there, unless you're looking for it, it doesn't stand out.

BlackCaaaaat2 karma

Do they try to fit the double ball into their mouth? Or all three?

Because I would.

CreepyOldThreeBalls8 karma

it is a challenge some women have taken it upon themselves to conquer. i humbly oblige any and all willing contestants.

wideawakeasleep12 karma

Do you ask you ladies if they like their tea strong?

CreepyOldThreeBalls4 karma

if they're ready to drink my tea, there's only one way to take it. strong.

Federal8008Inspector3 karma


CreepyOldThreeBalls3 karma

not quite. i prefer "action bastard".

daph20043 karma

Is it a disease or a feature?

CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma

just bonus material. it's developed and fully functioning. someone asked if i'd ever considered having it removed, and i said no, cause there's nothing malicious about it at all.

Matt_KB2 karma

When you talk to people, do they ever reference this scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Exo tria arxidia!

CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma

no, never had any reference to MBFGW. never actually seen the movie.

Slenderauss2 karma

Do you have a higher sperm count, or give more ejaculate than someone with two balls?

CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma


Dabee6252 karma

and dozens of people who have touched them and felt it

What kind of people are you hanging around?

CreepyOldThreeBalls7 karma

curious and shameless people. the finest of the fine folk.

oddchirping2 karma

Are there any jokes you or others have made pertaining to your anatomical anomaly?

CreepyOldThreeBalls1 karma

nothing that stands out in my mind. stupid little inside jokes with friends and stuff. but nothing specific.

concretepigeon2 karma

Do all three hang at different levels (e.g. right to left high, low, middle) or does it go high-low-high/low-high-low?

CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma

single one kinda hangs at the median level... the pair sharing the vas deferens kind hang one on top of each other, one a bit higher, one a bit lower than the free hanger. when it gets cold and they shrivel up the kinda stack front to back instead of top to bottom.

EyePatchBear2 karma

What's your sexual preference?

Just wanted to know for the guy who has two dicks.

CreepyOldThreeBalls4 karma

i'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body. i love vagina. sorry double dick dude.

seanthemonster2 karma

Do all 3 work?

Have u named them? Maybe huey duey and luey?

CreepyOldThreeBalls14 karma

i've had girlfriends name them, nothing really stuck that i cared for. i generally refer to them collectively as the trifecta or the triforce.

emilyis3 karma

But do all 3 work?

CreepyOldThreeBalls3 karma

yes. all three function normally.

emilyis2 karma

How much cum do you produce?

CreepyOldThreeBalls10 karma

there's really only two ways to find out.... handjob.... or read the answer on one of the other 8 times i've answered this.

my advice... if you want something done right...

RedHotChiliPenguins2 karma

Tits or Ass?

CreepyOldThreeBalls6 karma

why not both?

BlackCaaaaat9 karma

Why not all three?

CreepyOldThreeBalls3 karma


CravenMerrill2 karma

your name isn't ted right ? Because if it was it be triple testicle ted or if your name was Saul it would be triball saul.

CreepyOldThreeBalls3 karma

no. no clever name-to-nuts reference applicable.

hypergolic2 karma

Your new nickname is "E3 the extra testicle"!

CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma

i made reference and posted the IMDB link to that movie in another comment. lol.

MomDontReadThisShit2 karma

Do you still find the three testicle scene from Austin Powers funny or just normal?

CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma

it was funny the first 50 times i saw it.... like everything else, it gets old.

kylestark232 karma


CreepyOldThreeBalls3 karma

nah. there's not secret moral or ethical enhancement buried in my extra fruity pebbles. i'm just a normal douche with my random moments of decency.

I_promise_you_gold2 karma


CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma

dreadlock rasta.

suckmytrollpole2 karma

Do you run a higher risk of developing testicular cancer?

CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma

it's not a common enough thing to do an intensive study on it i guess, but from what i know, because it's descended, and it's functioning, i'm not high risk. there's other forms where it's not functioning and may not drop, and they're at higher risk for developing testicular cancer and prostate issues. but i don't know a lot of detail about it because it's not something i've had to deal with, all my plumbing is functioning tip top.

TheDuckPortal2 karma

What has been the best real life reaction to you showing/ telling somebody?

CreepyOldThreeBalls5 karma

well, while it's not unusual for chicks to want to touch for confirmation, i don't normally get guys that want to. so, i showed a friend of mine one night, big bearded dude, very hetero, he was in such shock/disbelief he actually got a couple fingers pokin in my beanbag before i realized what was going on. whole time his jaw was dropped like a kid meeting mickey mouse for the first time. was in a kitchen full of people, so it got quite the uproar of a reaction.

PowderDownie2 karma

Boxers or briefs?

CreepyOldThreeBalls6 karma

boxer briefs. briefs too tight. boxers too lose. need steady support. lol.

PuffsPlusArmada2 karma

The fascination with people who possess extraneous genitals tells you all you need to know about reddit. We're like the Ringling Brothers meets Maury Povich on the internet.

CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma

i'd be down to join that freakshow. my unitard would have to be crotchless.

27th_wonder2 karma

I think this maybe my favorite AMA of all time

CreepyOldThreeBalls5 karma

this is the almond joy of AMAs. it's got nuts.

prostateExamination1 karma

how great is it?

CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma

it's got it's perks. but mostly just fuckin awesome.

wtfisdisreal1 karma

which is your favorite?

CreepyOldThreeBalls6 karma

that's like asking a parent to choose a favorite child. can't do it.

Toasty_McThourogood1 karma

Did you sing for Crash Test Dummies? :)

CreepyOldThreeBalls2 karma

nope. he's got a few years on me.

Toasty_McThourogood2 karma

Dang! :) Well, at least you'll always have a spare

CreepyOldThreeBalls3 karma

more of a strio. rimshot