Children's book author
Comments: 174 • Responses: 73 • Date: 2013-10-18 23:44:19 UTCsource
draibop36 karma2013-10-19 00:31:28 UTC
how did you get into the childrens book business and how could write stories about shit shitting on other shit. and get paid for it? also because of this i will be getting neice and nephew your book for christmas. keep fucking shit up!
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aMANescape51 karma2013-10-19 00:34:59 UTC
first started writing children's books when I was 4. here is the first one I ever made ever if you are interested - http://imgur.com/a/1hybc
ANIMAL FRIENDS has animals doing poo on each other... I don't know. Kind of have to read it to understand its context.
Mate! Fuck! Thank you so much for passing the story on. I can't express my fucking gratitude... here... have some reddit gold. fucking... not one member of my family give three quarters of a shit about it. THANK YOU!
draibop11 karma2013-10-19 00:46:04 UTC
Oh shit thank you! Keep Fucking shit up! and tell your family an internet stranger tells them to suck it!
aMANescape17 karma2013-10-19 00:48:48 UTC
will do drailpop. stay classy. let me know what you think of the book too when you finish it. even if you think it sucks balls... I like feedback :D
draibop6 karma2013-10-19 00:48:40 UTC
also follow up question, could you describe the process of getting your writing published?
aMANescape13 karma2013-10-19 00:52:35 UTC
sure ok. so > >
step 1: story board the story, make it flow, make it nice > > write it. chapter by chapter. edit, 2nd edit..... 56th edit
step 2: format the story using indesign and put into epub form
step 3: get an ISBN and upload book with Lightning Source (I have usually used Create Space but have found recently that Lightning Source have better quality prints.
step 4: find someone who will distribute it. In my case, Dennis Jones Australia is distributing which is really exciting for me.
step 5: tell people. go on the interwebs and tear shit up...
I'm currently at step 5 :)
draibop4 karma2013-10-19 00:56:50 UTC
how hard is it to find a distributor is there any tricks like should i just chuck paper at them as they walk by? or is that in itself a process?
aMANescape8 karma2013-10-19 00:59:00 UTC
I was just a mad whore and rambled about every tiny little selling point > kids did the art work > > there's some positive messages about the environment and anti-bullying in the story > > I'm a member of some children's book societies > > fucken.... any minor detail > > and then made the grade > > it's not lights out though without one > > story is a story my bro
draibop1 karma2013-10-19 01:03:28 UTC
Man you are awesome. Who are some of you Inspirations to get into writing. and also do you write strictly children's books?
aMANescape3 karma2013-10-19 01:05:47 UTC
thanks bra. you're awesome too btw... uh, I love Roald Dahl and Lewis Carol... the classics... Lately really digging Stephen King's DARK TOWER series and the game of thrones series... I would love to create a story of that length... maybs on the cards for my next project.... see what haps. you write too?
quinnly2 karma2013-10-19 14:21:01 UTC
The Dark Tower is one of my favorite pieces of literature. How far along are you?
aMANescape3 karma2013-10-19 14:22:28 UTC
half way through wizard and glass... so far of what I have read... I'll agree with you...
draibop1 karma2013-10-19 01:10:28 UTC
id say i story board as thats all i can ever get too before get all angsty about it and stop. its always been a dream though.
aMANescape4 karma2013-10-19 01:12:20 UTC
bro. u should do it. its so fucken sweet when its done. I had a beer and watched a sunset...
just like successful George McFly says... "If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything."
OddGuyOut5 karma2013-10-19 02:38:26 UTC
Pongo - I can't figure out why, but that has to be one of the best names I've ever heard.
aMANescape9 karma2013-10-19 06:33:39 UTC
made it up out of my brain and shit :)
Friedso13 karma2013-10-18 23:48:07 UTC
How do I teach children to fuck shit up the right way?
aMANescape120 karma2013-10-18 23:53:00 UTC
golden rule: no liquor or titties til your 15. always do your homework and NEVER stick your dick in crazy
FlyingSaucered11 karma2013-10-19 01:00:23 UTC
I can't upvote this enough
aMANescape13 karma2013-10-19 01:01:14 UTC
double click... DOUBLE CLICK!
FlyingSaucered5 karma2013-10-19 01:09:34 UTC
I upvoted and un-upvoted, just so I could upvote again. Also I read it out loud at work just as a customer was walking in. Yay for customer service!
aMANescape12 karma2013-10-19 01:10:56 UTC
haha. i like you. do you like the Shawshank Redemption? we could watch it maybe...
FlyingSaucered3 karma2013-10-19 02:43:07 UTC
It's a date. I'll meet at your house tomorrow night. I already know where it is. Nice shirt, by the way.
aMANescape7 karma2013-10-19 03:10:07 UTC
Thanks. Watching gravity in 3d. Brb
FlyingSaucered1 karma2013-10-19 03:47:19 UTC
I'm not proud, but I had to google that. I should probably stop fast forwarding through commercials so I can actually know what's happening in the world.
edit Forgot this is an AMA, so what's you favorite cereal and why?
aMANescape3 karma2013-10-19 06:35:04 UTC
fave cereal - Weet Bix... because you can either have it with milk or peanut butter :)
apathy13918 karma2013-10-18 23:45:16 UTC
Is your book as confusing as your title..?
aMANescape12 karma2013-10-18 23:46:46 UTC
A little less. I promise. The full synopsis is in the link. Man if you check it out... holy shit
BSB-7 karma2013-10-18 23:47:44 UTC
You write a book and then outsource the illustrations to impaired children.. why? What was the motivation?
aMANescape12 karma2013-10-18 23:51:39 UTC
I actually visited the school a few months earlier and saw a one page children's book one of the kids had written in their drawing class. the picture was of a baby lamb taking a shit! Funny and adorable as fuck! Thought to myself "I'm guna write this little kid a children's story with animals doing shits everywhere in it." Then, after I had finished writing it, I thought. "Man, would be so cool to let those kids share in the story." So I let them do all the drawings. yehw! My style of illustrations is usually very basic and kid-like and their art really fit the story I think...
egoat6 karma2013-10-19 00:09:28 UTC
Do you swear this much in front of children?
Ragingwhirlpool3 karma2013-10-19 01:51:35 UTC
Man, you ain't seen nothing till you read his book.
aMANescape6 karma2013-10-19 06:34:07 UTC
you read it brah? :D if so thanks :)
ColonalAngus6 karma2013-10-19 00:07:29 UTC
Do you have pink eye?
Edit: Your book is clever. ;o) <-- pink-eye smile
aMANescape9 karma2013-10-19 00:43:31 UTC
wait. i don't... thanks?
aMANescape8 karma2013-10-19 00:09:01 UTC
currently. no. that comes from having poo in your face right? I guess I got lucky...
HuhDude5 karma2013-10-19 14:30:35 UTC
I like the way your face looks. Can we go on a date?
aMANescape10 karma2013-10-19 14:31:53 UTC
not sure if you are a girl or a boy, but... yes
HuhDude4 karma2013-10-19 14:40:19 UTC
PS. How many times is too many times for checking out your proof pic?
aMANescape7 karma2013-10-19 14:41:43 UTC
not enough until there's cum all over my face on the computer screen
HuhDude3 karma2013-10-19 14:47:54 UTC
Ok! I think Ive probably only gone slightly too far then!
aMANescape8 karma2013-10-19 14:51:17 UTC
HuhDude2 karma2013-10-19 14:38:25 UTC
I'm a HuhDude.
aMANescape5 karma2013-10-19 14:38:48 UTC
party :D where you guna take me?
HuhDude4 karma2013-10-19 14:45:53 UTC
There's a breakfast place near me. They don't sell weetibix but they do sell a lot of fried meat and eggs. You look like you'd enjoy that.
aMANescape8 karma2013-10-19 14:48:41 UTC
breakfast huh? well, I don't let anyone other jeff probst fuck me in the ass on the first date, but we can play spoons :D bags being the little spoon
HuhDude2 karma2013-10-19 14:50:05 UTC
I love being the big spoon. This is going to be great.
aMANescape7 karma2013-10-19 14:50:39 UTC
FlyingChange5 karma2013-10-19 10:25:02 UTC
1) you look like a pervert.
2) why do you look like a pervert?
3) I work around children. I swear under my breath constantly. You inspire me to be the best at muttering profanity behind their little backs.
aMANescape9 karma2013-10-19 10:36:51 UTC
Morning_Waffles5 karma2013-10-19 04:43:32 UTC
You are now my biggest fucking hero.
aMANescape8 karma2013-10-19 05:19:35 UTC
Woah woah woah woah. Epic
aMANescape4 karma2013-10-19 06:20:50 UTC
im back from the movies if anyone still has questions / wants to call me a bastard etc.
draibop2 karma2013-10-19 06:42:38 UTC
You bastard! how was the movie? also wtf is weet bix?
aMANescape3 karma2013-10-19 06:57:08 UTC
Hehe. My new fayvourite movie ever!!!! Theyre like these things
Pibbface4 karma2013-10-19 08:25:46 UTC
I can't say I expected a children's book author to swear so much. Anyway, what was your inspiration for the book?
aMANescape4 karma2013-10-19 08:27:40 UTC
I wanted to tell a story that had never been told before :) I wanted to tell a story that I would love to read as a child... Tried not to focus too much on trying to please the children's writing community which is mainly made up of stay at home soccer mums... nice to meet you pibbface. can I call you pibbface?
Pibbface2 karma2013-10-19 08:55:33 UTC
Please do. I'm very surprised you answered this, since the AMA has been going for like 8 hours. You're pretty dedicated!
aMANescape3 karma2013-10-19 08:58:27 UTC
yehhhhhhh. i have no life
Pibbface2 karma2013-10-19 09:05:32 UTC
Well, keep it going! It's been quite interesting!
aMANescape5 karma2013-10-19 09:07:17 UTC
id give it a 3 on the fuck shit up scale :/
Pibbface2 karma2013-10-19 09:16:26 UTC
Also, if it seems like I'm using punctuation and shit, it's just the iPad's autocorrect. The autocorrect just autocorrected the word autocorrect!
aMANescape4 karma2013-10-19 09:19:49 UTC
ive never used an ipad for reddit. how goes it?
Pibbface2 karma2013-10-19 09:22:48 UTC
It has ups and downs. It's really fucking hard to press the reply button, and more so the subreddits at the top of the page.
aMANescape4 karma2013-10-19 09:23:40 UTC
this is the best AMA ever... AMA of the year?
02keilj2 karma2013-10-19 14:46:15 UTC
My friend and I wrote a children's book but are still in the stages of putting the artwork together. We joked that we were the most vulgar people to every write a childrens book. I think you have topped that. Thank you for allowing us to use "we are not the most vulgar childrens authors" as a selling point for our book.
aMANescape6 karma2013-10-19 14:50:00 UTC
I would love to read that book when it's done... balls
mister_smee3 karma2013-10-21 01:30:54 UTC
You should write a book for adults raising children on how to fuck shit up. I guess it is an ama, so, please?
What would that book be titled?
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-21 01:39:22 UTC
hehe - title: "POO BUM WEE"
mister_smee3 karma2013-10-21 01:45:45 UTC
Just giggled like a little girl. Thanks for that :D
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-21 01:47:11 UTC
heehee :D poo
yetiheat3 karma2013-10-19 20:16:27 UTC
I'll one up your date offer and ask for your hand in marriage.
aMANescape3 karma2013-10-19 20:17:27 UTC
I accept. What do I need to do now?
manganlol3 karma2013-10-19 20:30:34 UTC
Can I adapt this to the stage?
aMANescape3 karma2013-10-20 01:33:09 UTC
P1eman3 karma2013-10-19 14:39:14 UTC
What is your artists block remedy?
aMANescape4 karma2013-10-19 14:43:21 UTC
I like to do a few things in these situations... one... and the main one... do nothing... second is to try and soak up good art from other people (books, movies, tv and paintings etc.) third is to go surfing.... yeh.... you been blocked bro?
P1eman3 karma2013-10-19 14:48:10 UTC
It's been known to happen to me from time to time, I just like hearing what others like to do! Thanks!
aMANescape4 karma2013-10-19 14:51:05 UTC
rock and roll man. if you have some stuff, id love to read it
othergeneration3 karma2013-10-19 14:38:09 UTC
Do you enjoy what you do?
aMANescape6 karma2013-10-19 14:40:59 UTC
funny you should ask... I actually blogged about a few of my favourite things.....
I also enjoy reading weird stories, fapping, drinking coffee, watching Survivor and breathing fresh Summer air.
And you? what you like?
othergeneration3 karma2013-10-19 16:05:24 UTC
I like to fap, smoke, long board, sleep late, go to work, play video games, and eat meat. It's a wonderful life I'd say, thank you for asking
aMANescape4 karma2013-10-19 20:05:44 UTC
You ahould probably double check that you arent me...
othergeneration3 karma2013-10-19 20:07:09 UTC
I don't have a beard </3
aMANescape6 karma2013-10-19 20:09:26 UTC
othergeneration3 karma2013-10-19 20:19:03 UTC
aMANescape3 karma2013-10-19 20:20:26 UTC
AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII E IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WIIIILLLL ALWAYS LOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
othergeneration3 karma2013-10-19 21:12:52 UTC
I want to be in this moment forever
aMANescape6 karma2013-10-20 01:36:13 UTC
Dont close ur eyes baby
thebonelessone3 karma2013-10-19 15:39:35 UTC
I feel like there's been a huge influx of just fantastic kids' lit lately, why do you think that is? Also, would you be willing to critique a draft manuscript I have for a picture book? (Shameless, I know, but input from a published children's author would be amazing).
aMANescape3 karma2013-10-19 20:13:22 UTC
I'll read your shit brah... I don't know about the influx capacitor... I thought it was a myth
smokeymckush3 karma2013-10-20 14:07:37 UTC
Do you ever call up book stores pretending to want to buy your own books, and get them to order in your books?
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-20 21:54:09 UTC
no... thanks for the idea :D but I only get paid if the book store sells the copy I think...
Rotting_Intestines2 karma2013-10-21 11:58:50 UTC
How many babies do you lick/eat on the daily basis?
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-21 12:14:34 UTC
draibop2 karma2013-10-21 02:36:51 UTC
so i heard rabbits are like a scourge down under is this true?
aMANescape1 karma2013-10-21 08:34:56 UTC
BaconOverEverything2 karma2013-10-18 23:50:49 UTC
How long does it typically take to write a children's book?
aMANescape6 karma2013-10-18 23:54:49 UTC
this one took me about a full week. but that was like the 20th rewrite. I have been rewriting this story for the last 3 years. min. I highly recommend giving it a try. It's a really rewarding experience knowing that some words you put down on paper will live longer than you do...
MAINO2 karma2013-10-18 23:51:34 UTC
do you offer the ebook of your book? do you agree with the price fixing policy of apple?
aMANescape5 karma2013-10-18 23:57:53 UTC
I'm giving away the PDF version... have actually handed over digital rights to an Australian distribution company. They are also busily working on making the story available in Australian bookstores...
They're putting the book in apple... I'm actually unaware of the apple thing. What's with that. Might goodle it lates...
I will say I am a Samsung man through and through... I don't know what apple did with books.. but fuck them anyway. fucken apple colour...
MAINO2 karma2013-10-19 00:05:37 UTC
unexpected spelling errors from writer of children books ;)
aMANescape7 karma2013-10-19 00:06:40 UTC
haha. just re read what I wrote... goodle... classic rob :)
nellaselendil2 karma2013-10-19 08:30:05 UTC
iiii'm gonna have to read this the next time i'm tripping, cause it sounds that good.
aMANescape9 karma2013-10-19 08:31:53 UTC
doing harmful drugs and reading books go hand in hand like driving and using siri :D
draibop2 karma2013-10-19 17:19:28 UTC
so here are some questions for you now that ive woken up from my drunken stupor.
if you could fight one historical figure who would it be?
what is your favorite beer? i assume fosters because thats Australian for beer.
spiders how do you deal with them?
how much poon can i expect to get from being a childrens book writer?
aMANescape3 karma2013-10-19 20:12:25 UTC
I woke up too...
Jeff Probst...using giant boxing gloves in a reward challenge
No Australia Likes Fosters. Mine would be RED OAK beer... it's a brewery. Their beer has won gold medals and shit
I don't. they haunt me.
As much as you can handle
skian2 karma2013-10-19 16:14:17 UTC
would you rather give a horse sized fuck. or fuck a hundred horses.
aMANescape3 karma2013-10-19 20:04:35 UTC
I would love to give a horse sized fuck... mmmmm
OldManTitan2 karma2013-10-19 16:07:58 UTC
The page URL makes me chuckle, does it reveal your true intentions? ;O
aMANescape3 karma2013-10-19 20:05:07 UTC
Hehe.... ahhhh.... true itempins???
SantasBoner2 karma2013-10-19 20:50:58 UTC
How in Satans glorious name did you come up with the idea for this book?
aMANescape4 karma2013-10-20 01:34:13 UTC
Haha. I mixed weed with beetrot and acid.... then I shoved it up my arse with a carrot... cuz im a vegetarian... :p
draibop2 karma2013-10-21 02:32:25 UTC
so batman or superman?
aMANescape1 karma2013-10-21 02:33:10 UTC
draibop2 karma2013-10-21 01:09:50 UTC
so if your life was to become a big hollywood action pic what actor would you most want to see play you?
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-21 01:10:38 UTC
McCauley Culkin... Americans don't know this, but he is still a big superstar in Australia...
draibop2 karma2013-10-21 01:12:50 UTC
oh man i hope thats true!
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-21 01:13:24 UTC
it's not... but I still love him
draibop2 karma2013-10-21 01:15:05 UTC
i respect any man that can bang mila kunis for an extended period of time. its a sign hes doing something right.
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-21 01:16:09 UTC
also have mad respect for any man that can call out Buzz for being a fucking trout sniffer
LizzieDane2 karma2013-10-19 21:08:33 UTC
Have you read The Story Of The Little Mole Who Knew It Was None Of His Business? Poop books are everywhere!
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-20 01:34:40 UTC
Shit is out of control... this pleases me
draibop2 karma2013-10-19 21:30:24 UTC
im grilling today and watching the UFC fights so who do you think willl win Cain or Junior? also what meat should i grill?
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-20 01:35:46 UTC
Answer 1 junior Answer 2 yes
draibop2 karma2013-10-20 20:26:36 UTC
junior got his shit rocked.
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-20 21:53:16 UTC
a to the men
draibop2 karma2013-10-20 23:02:30 UTC
so day 3 of your epic AMA did you ever expect that itd last this long?
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-21 01:04:47 UTC
draibop2 karma2013-10-21 01:08:57 UTC
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-21 01:09:50 UTC
yehhhh. i'm not going anywhere :P hopefully mine'll be around longer enough for Ann Coulter to read :D
DannyMarble2 karma2013-10-20 17:07:20 UTC
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-20 21:53:31 UTC
pics or didnt happn
draibop2 karma2013-10-21 02:11:48 UTC
so do you fuck shit up in video games as well as in real life?
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-21 02:14:42 UTC
we talking mario kart and golden eye on 64? or zelda on 3dsxl? if so... yes... i fuck shit up in those arenas... been meaning to get back into ps4, but barely have time to :/
draibop2 karma2013-10-21 02:16:35 UTC
id kick your ass in golden eye just saying.
aMANescape1 karma2013-10-21 02:17:17 UTC
woah.... hold up... weapon of choice??
draibop2 karma2013-10-21 02:19:39 UTC
but honestly throwing knives
aMANescape1 karma2013-10-21 02:21:14 UTC
id proximity mine you so hard your teeth would go into orbit and kill astronaughts
draibop2 karma2013-10-21 02:23:24 UTC
psh you wish ill head shot you with a glorified butter knife.
aMANescape2 karma2013-10-21 02:33:04 UTC
we're so in love :D
Davundu0 karma2013-10-19 08:04:39 UTC
You're so bad-ass for speaking like that wow.
aMANescape8 karma2013-10-19 08:05:49 UTC
0ty0 karma2013-10-19 17:00:46 UTC
aMANescape5 karma2013-10-19 20:03:14 UTC
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