Hey guys, My name is Marcus and I'm the guy who was working in the vending machine that's currently on top of the frontpage.

Ask me anything!

original picture http://i.imgur.com/sbPcigN.jpg

picture proof! http://i.imgur.com/0oS7dMd.jpg

Comments: 168 • Responses: 51  • Date: 



marcuscomedy65 karma

A camel's hump does not store water. It stores fat, lessening heat-trapping insulation around the rest of the body.


That is a great fact about camels! Did you know the oldest known camel appeared 40-50 million years ago in North America? At that time, they were the size of a rabbit! Wow!

marcuscomedy50 karma

you sure it wasnt just a deformed rabbit?

PiantGenis26 karma

Has anyone tried to insert the penis once they found out there's a hand at work inside there?

marcuscomedy59 karma

thats what the fake hand was for

nismomonkey21 karma

Jerking people off?

marcuscomedy88 karma

slappin' dicks.

TheKingOfToast18 karma

Have you refused to scare anyone? Be it that they are really old, or really young etc.

and what purpose does this serve? Being as you are getting paid I would be led to believe that you are, in some way, earning money.

marcuscomedy32 karma

I wouldnt scare different people for a variety of reasons, women with children, people holding hot drinks, old people etc..

It was a video that was being filmed for a Halloween youtube promotion!

wiirenet15 karma

Best reaction? (funniest/most scared)

worst reaction? (angriest)

and any real boring reactions? Like they didn't even realize something happened?

marcuscomedy27 karma

Best reaction was this morning, 3 girls reached in, i grabbed one of them, she jumped backwards screaming and fell on her ass laughing hysterically.

Worst was some douche kicked me in the hand!

a few boring ones, but they were a serious minority!

PortableFreakshow17 karma

Which minorities do you consider the most serious?

marcuscomedy69 karma

the amish.

wiirenet4 karma

I just wondered about all the times in in a "zone" or have my mind wandering. Buying something from a vending machine is so mundane-- I wonder if a hand reached out at me if I would just grab the food and not even notice..

marcuscomedy6 karma

being grabbed tends to snap you out of a zone pretty quickly!

wiirenet2 karma

oh yea. i guess i imagined it more like you were handing them the candy without grabbing!

How did you see people coming?

Could you talk to them?

marcuscomedy4 karma

I had a walky talky, hence the headphones! A watcher would tell me how many people were coming and exactly what to do!

rock-it-science14 karma

Did you have any conversations with people through the wall of the vending machine?

marcuscomedy28 karma

One guy, it was a beautiful bonding moment!

510js4 karma

We need more details on this bonding moment plz.

marcuscomedy76 karma

I would, but i KrY eVerY TyME

whittler13 karma

Get a paintbrush dipped in water and "lick" their hand.

marcuscomedy28 karma

i dribbled some fake blood on some peoples hands!

SauceOfAwesome5710 karma

What do you do when not grabbing hands?

marcuscomedy45 karma

Grab myself, and reddit.

SauceOfAwesome579 karma

So basically the same as when your not in the vending machine?

marcuscomedy26 karma

I dont get payed when I'm not in the machine :'(

catgirldanni8 karma

Helloooo cute ginger. Too bad you're kind of taken

marcuscomedy24 karma

My Girlfriend is also a cute ginger, we're a powercouple.

nismomonkey13 karma

How many souls have you stolen as a group?

marcuscomedy30 karma


iamacatlover7 karma

Maybe this is a stupid question, but I'm so confused...what are you actually doing inside the vending machine?

marcuscomedy17 karma

People press a button, a snack drops down, they reach in, i grab them, everyone has a good laugh!

iamacatlover9 karma

OK this clears things up, lol. I was under the impression that it was your regular job to be in a vending machine and you were just doing the grabbing for the Halloween season.

By regular job, I mean that you had some sort of task inside the vending machine to make it work, besides hand grabbing.

marcuscomedy8 karma

dude... that would suck!

iamacatlover16 karma

I was really confused. I thought perhaps I'd been shaking machines full of Irishmen when my coke didn't come out.

marcuscomedy15 karma

you have been! 800 YEARS!

iamacatlover14 karma

Next time I use a vending machine, I'm just going to stick some bubble wrap in it. Person inside can use it how they see fit.

marcuscomedy14 karma

you're doing god's work

resident165 karma

How does one even get a job such as yours?

marcuscomedy28 karma

I'm not even sure.

wormylaroche4 karma

How did you enter and leave the vending machine, if, say, you had to go to the bathroom or stretch?

marcuscomedy2 karma

the whole front opened!

andicotsteel4 karma

What are the future money making opportunities in vending machines? Is it still in soda and candy or are the types of fancy machines we see in airports the way of the future? I know the Japanese use them for all sorts of products already.

marcuscomedy7 karma

You know, i think as budgets get tighter and the likes, we'll see vending machines gradually replace human shop staff.


andicotsteel1 karma

So should I set some up? What makes a good spot to place one? Are the best spots usually the most expensive spots to rent? I'm assuming you need to rent space wherever you put it or are profits shared? Thanks for the replies, your AMA interests me which is rare.

marcuscomedy2 karma

I would say any high traffic area where people have specific needs!

IE, umbrellas at entrances/exits to public buildings.

tock-who-ticks3 karma

I'm confused. :S How do you see out?

marcuscomedy7 karma

I didnt! i had a watcher who contacted me via walky talky

Pedantic_Pat3 karma

Fellow Irishman or one o' them English bastards? Can't imagine there's many other countries selling Rice Krispie Squares.

Serious questions though, is this for a tv ad? Do you have to do this until Hallowe'en?

marcuscomedy16 karma

For a youtube campaign, and Irish! have you not seen the shtyle of my beard???

Pedantic_Pat6 karma

Jaysus shure i thought twas yourself alright by the head on ya. Well fare fecks anyway, shure ya couldnt be down the bog on a day like that.

marcuscomedy5 karma

sure not with this budget! ten cents on a pint.

kickshaw3 karma

How do you not suffocate in there? Do you get to take bathroom breaks? Do you get to eat the candy?

marcuscomedy8 karma

I tried not to eat the candy, which was pretty tough! The floor is grated so theres a bit of airflow, and yep, I got bathroom breaks!

highxfive3 karma

Does it hurt when you come out of there? Judging from the picture, it doesn't look like you have much room. You said you do this for 8 hours but how many days were you in the box?

marcuscomedy6 karma

2 days, and yeah, it hurt like hell, Leg day in the gym on monday, and then back in the box for the last two days.

not a winning combo!

kimsey72 karma

It looked like fun, was it creepy for you, I take it that you were OK being in a tiny dark space for extended periods of time???

marcuscomedy6 karma

It got a bit creepy! yeah, im not too colausto.... scared of confined spaces

[deleted]2 karma


marcuscomedy9 karma

roastedbagel2 karma

Hey bud, can you edit your description at the top and put this picture up there so its easier to spot? I also want to remove the comment from Automod since its technically no longer relevant.

marcuscomedy2 karma


awesomemanftw2 karma

did anybody shake the hand?

marcuscomedy10 karma

a few people! i think they just irish'd out!

sourpatchkittenxx2 karma


marcuscomedy4 karma

yeah! we're a nice bunch!

OMSK912 karma

Uhmmmm... Hi how you doin?

marcuscomedy4 karma

im doing fiiiiiine ;)


1) What do you do for work when not scaring people from a vending machine?

2) Since you are a redditor, what is one of your favorite subreddits?

3) 100 duck size horses or 1 horse size duck?

marcuscomedy7 karma

1) I'm a chef by day and a comedian by night, heres a video of me supporting jim jeffries a while back! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdcV7bq53Dc

2) I'm a big fan of various cycling and house music subreddits!

3) 100 duck sized horses!


Thanks for the reply. My personal favorite subreddit lately is /r/ExpectationVsReality. If I ever need a really good laugh I go there.

I will watch your video once I get off work. If you have more videos or your own youtube channel please post it. I enjoy watching standup.

marcuscomedy1 karma

that one is off my own channel! hope you like it!

marcuscomedy2 karma

im also an afficonado of /r/malefashionadvice

shagman952 karma

is this the first time you do this ?

marcuscomedy4 karma

I've done similar stuff before, but this has been the first time where i've been locked in a specifically designed vending machine and essentially attacked strangers, yeah!

shagman952 karma

What is the purpose of someone being inside a vending machine when ur not scaring people ?

marcuscomedy3 karma

torturing a person, i presume!

khajiit_stevens2 karma

You're cute for a ginger.

marcuscomedy5 karma

You know how to tug my heartstrings!

slashVictorWard1 karma

Would love to know the most bags of Fritos (or other chips, which are far inferior) that have ever been stuck in one rack.

marcuscomedy6 karma

i only deal in sugary treats homie!

Shakzes1 karma

Did you have to go through an audition where they judged your hands?

marcuscomedy4 karma

i have majestic chef hands.

blava1 karma

I love publicity stunts. Have you ever been part of a different one? Seems like this scary vending machine is only really good for Halloween. You should.... never mind. Can't think of any other type of vending machine prank.

Keep up the good work!

marcuscomedy3 karma

Yeah! I've done a few, last fun one was running around dublin in a spacesuit!

blava1 karma

I won't lie. I'm jealous of your job. Sounds like it is always different and you are free entertainment for random people.

marcuscomedy2 karma

pretty much all my jobs revolve around entertainment.

i love making people happy!

sourpatchkittenxx1 karma


marcuscomedy1 karma

I work with a promotional company and i got roped into this!

wunderk81 karma

Can I get my quarters back?

marcuscomedy12 karma

the snacks were free..

I ate your quarters, you're in the euro zone now playa!

Reco51512161 karma

Why no one has asked is beyond me...

What's the pay rate and hours like?

marcuscomedy1 karma

The hours sucked, early morning's with about 8 hours in the box each day.

I'd prefer not to go into specifics, but the money was worth it.

Rianmc1 karma

This is hilarious.

marcuscomedy1 karma

thanks Rian! hope you're keeping well! :)

3FingersofGlenlivet1 karma

How much did they pay you to sit in a vending machine?

marcuscomedy4 karma

Already said i dont wanna go into specifics on payment amounts! it was worth my while though!

KnuckleMeat1 karma

How big is your dong? My mom wants to know.

marcuscomedy3 karma

vending machine sized.