I am a Haunted Attraction reviewer and I've been through hundreds of Haunted Attractions, Ask Me Anything.

Where are the attractions you review? If you have reviewed in the U.S., what was your favorite?

O: I cover NJ (where I am based), NY, MD, VA, PA, OH, FL and I added Georgia this year. When talking about favorites it depends on what type of haunt. Some are theatrical, others are startle scare. Hotel of Horror/Altered Nightmares in Saylorsburg, PA is probably my favorite although Pennhurst in Spring City, PA is coming close with their 2013 show. UPDATE H: I love Field of Screams in Mountville, PA. It has one of my all time favorite houses called Den of Darkness. I'd freak out if I couldn't go there every year.

I wish I could've seen Pennhurst before it turned into a Halloween attraction. It looked absolutely terrifying.

They told us that they may be putting in a legit walk through of the actual grounds. So you may be able to see it but safely because they are gonna keep it decayed but fix any health hazards. Emphasis on Might. No one told me for sure I just heard it was very likely.

Also their Ghost Hunt is just that - letting you walk through an area with no actors. It's pretty darn scary.

It's still scary as crap. We just did a recording this past weekend for our new youtube series and the drive to get there when you go on the property was scary with no other cars around. The funny part is we talked with Donna and Ruth there, 2 former employees, and they said the place wasn;t scary at all when it was operating. It was bright and open. Looking at it now though and man does it have the super creep factor going for it.

Eastern State Penitentiary: Terror Behind The Walls in Philadelphia PA is the only other place I can compare it to.

Can I have a link to your YouTube page? I wanna check that video out.

The video is not up yet, but it will be posted here as soon as our editor fixes it up, so totally subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/user/OnezumiStudios

Is there a place that you would say "no" to revisiting out of fear?

O: No, it takes a lot to scare me. Usually it makes me laugh. But I wouldn't try Blackout NYC for the first time. They do things like make you put fake bloody tampons in your mouth and a naked guy puts his junk in your face. That is just not my type of thing but for those who it is their type of thing I hear they are amazing at what they do.

Well, generally we're cool with going back to any place we've been to--but some things just don't interest me. Blackout and some of the "experiment" type haunts aren't really haunted attractions in my opinion. They are really more S&M experiences. I like seeing cool stuff and am not much interested in sticking things in my mouth or being covered in nasty crap. For some that's cool though, so to each their own.

Part of my journalistic drive woudl like to cover them in another way, though. Like maybe WATCHING someone ELSE go through.

What is the most overused scare tactic that you see at attractions?

O: Chainsaws. Definitely chainsaws. They are the Photoshop lens flare of haunted attractions. I don't even react to them anymore. But for regular people they work really well!

H: I'm tired of asylum stuff. crazy people and doctors tend to be used as a cheap way of getting out of doing something better. The costumes are inexpensive and people just shake and lunge. Kinda boring.

Which haunted attraction(s) have the best tacos?

OH SHIT, SON I JUST REMEMBERED THAT HOWL O SCREAM IN TAMPA HAS A TACO TRUCK THIS YEAR!!!

gonna be a stinky event if they put in too many beans, that's for sure.

They actually have parts of houses that smell like shit these days. Literaly. They sell scenters.

No

I know, but I promised to do it. :)

You know, if a haunt had a dude in a giant zombie taco outfit I'd probably lose it both laughing and screaming due to the unexpected nature of it.

Haunt owners, I expect to see this next season!

Get Randy Bates on this. If anyone can pull it off it's him.

You are a man of your word. HAHAHA!

Due to all of the Haunted Attractions you've been to have they gotten less scary because you know what to expect?

O: Somewhat. I can predict the simple tactics like the "boo hole to the left or right of the door" thing. (Yep, "boo hole" is a real term for those hiding places where the actors jump out from.) But it is VERY possible to get me with misdirection and tag teaming. I still enjoy every second and laugh or scream as my applause.

H: I agree with Oni, but I can point to times where my knowledge kicked me in the ass. Once in a house there were some standard electrocution animatronics on either side and I thought they were just props, well one of them was a real actor who was really good at mimicking the prop and he jumped in my face and blew me away. I totally didn't expect it since I "knew" what the props were.

Was there ever a time when you've been too scared to continue reviewing an attraction?

O: No, I am pretty hard to scare. If it actually happens the actors have some mad skills.

Hey ONI! Louis from FrightTour here!

HAY LOUIS! Frighttour IS AWESOME!!! :D

Do you like to separate haunted attractions into different categories while reviewing? Such as ones with animatronics and ones without?

Also, best one you've been to so far?

O: No, but we do try to keep corporate haunts like Universal Studios and Farm-based Haunts in different conceptual categories. We want to retrofit a rating system and category system later on. We didn't realize it would get popular at first.

Awesome to hear that, it would be awesome to read "best budget attractions" or "best scares for the price" from you guys. Thanks for the AMA.

I agree with Harknell on the farm haunts mentioned. Headless Horseman has a large midway and shopping experience - you can buy fresh baked goods and even halloween trees and ornaments. It's epic.

I'll see about researching and putting this together

Can you recommend a good place in the Chicago area?

We haven't been out to Chicago yet, unfortunately. Perhaps a haunt from that area will invite us out one day! :)

Some of Great America's haunted houses are good, if you haven't seen those yet.

Six Flags? I have not been there yet. The one in NJ is not good but I have heard good things on the others.

Fright fest NJ just has shit teenagers screaming loudly in your face to be dicks.

As a child I started crying because they wouldn't stop screaming at me. One yelled in my ear "What's a matter little boy?! Scared?!" So loud it hurt. My mother shouted back "He's crying because you keep screaming in his ear!"

20 something years later, loud pop up scares even in movies piss me off...

Question! TL;DR

Ever have someone violate your personal space so bad it got you mad?

FF NJ is on my list of haunts that they probably couldn't pay me enough to go to. I hate it. A lot.

I can pretty much turn off my reflexes in a haunt, but once a guy put me in a headlock and dragged me into the next room, which was way different from the level he was supposed to do. That didn't make me mad but I was like come on now.

Also once someone started poking my in my calves really hard and wouldn't stop. That was just stupid.

If you are talking about Scare actors, then no--I expect them to do that. In fact I love the haunts where they can actually touch you--it cuts down on punk ass attendees who want to prove they're tough--at regular haunts they know they can;t be touched so they often will talk back to the actors or try to prove to their friends it's "a joke". I hate those people.

We've been to a few haunts where other attendees were so drunk they were psuhing each other around and actually one threw their girlfriend into a boo hole. We told security and they were surrounded by a bunch of police quickly. I hate when attendees act like asses and ruin it for everyone else--so that's my big annoyance.

Yeah they were really damaging the set pieces and striking the actors.

Yeah, there's one in the Chicago area. They've got a couple of different ones with varying levels of spookiness, for different age levels and all of that. By the time you're 12 or so you should be able to handle the scariest one. A lot of it isn't jump scares, it's not being able to find the right way to go, spinning rooms, etc. They also decorate the whole park and all of the people who would usually be Disney characters are now zombies and they scare people instead of take pictures. It's a lot of fun and you can tell the employees much prefer this time of year to the rest.

It's funny, one of the biggest questions we get is if there are haunts that are kid friendly. It's a difficult thing. We really believe haunts should be for adults and older teens, and in fact we suggested to Busch Gardens Williamsburg that they close off to younger children. But I can see the value in celebrating Halloween for kids, Disney's "Not So Scary" though was a complete fail and wasn't worth it. Just a bunch of candy stations and a really terrible parade using any old prop and float they had hanging around in their storage area.

Yeah, I mean small kids won't notice that though

The kid one at the SF here isn't extremely scary, I remember 8 year old me walking through it trying to be cocky to the employees. Just as I was walking out a jump scare got me and I ran away as fast as I could. I remember it had a lot of neon colors and bright lights, with mummies and vampires walking around. It was around 10 minutes long or so, depending on the pace you went and there was not anything particularly noteworthy.

Haha! :) They always get ya when you aren't expecting it...

OK that is pretty awesome! I do find that the SF parks vary a lot. The one in NJ has a lot of gang-type people coming in so the atmosphere isn't nearly as cool as it probably is over there. I got clocked in the face the last time I was at the Six Flags NJ Fright Fest. I love when they do cool things with the mazes!!!! We are going to try Dorney Park Haunt this year which might be similar?

I've never been to Dorney Park Haunt, have a good time though. There are a fair amount of gangbanger types at the SF here basically whenever they're open, however if you come later at night they've usually gone, especially during Fright Fest.

We went to frightfest back when it was a separate ticket, not part of the season pass--it was way better back then. When they converted it over to free for season pass holders it dropped in quality like a rock.

In fact, you have to double pay if you aren't a pass holder! You have to buy a regular ticket and also buy the haunt part as a separate charge. That's crazy!

They might as well say "don't come here" to the general public. The food and atmosphere is awful as well.

I have been to Six Flags during freight fest. It's awful, at least last year it was. There's just people walking around in costumes all over the park, other than that the place is decorated and there is one "haunted pathway" that consisted of three people over the course of 100 yards. Don't go there.

The problem with them (besides what you said) is also that they let the season passholders in for free and upcharge for the haunts. So you get a park packed beyond a comfortable level with gang members. Everyone is rowdy and dicky. I used to go prior to 2005 and it wasn't ad but once they opened it up to passholders it went into the toilet.

Any long distance trips planned this season??

O: We are getting ready to leave for Orlando and Tampa then back up to Orlando and to Atlanta then back to Orlando. (YUP.) Then the following week we are going to Pittsburgh and Ohio. And then there's a trip to Virginia again this season for us.

What's the best country for haunted attractions?

O: America! Halloween isn't really that much of a thing in other countries from what I understand. Although Canada has some badass-looking haunts near Niagara Falls that we want to do.

Best place for me to get scared in the south east?

Depends on what you mean by "east". Busch Gardens Howl O Scream and Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights are the best. I hear Netherworld (Atlanta) and Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse are amazing. I don't know if that is far enough east for you though.

Have you ever been to either Dark Rides in REHOBOTH, DE or OCEAN CITY, MD ? If so, your thoughts?

If you haven't been to the ones in Knoebels in PA those are spectacular as well. They have a haunted house cart ride and a mine cart ride. Both top form. we hit them every year as well.

They are the best. Also chicken and Waffles at The Alamo!

Oh yes! Ha! Actually just posted above at the same time. They are probably my 2 favorite things in the world. We did an entire podcast on each. More parks should restore these treasures.

Have you ever been asked to consult and/or create your own attraction at any of the haunts you have reviewed?

If you could do so, what style of haunt would you create?

We've never been formal consultants, but often we get asked by haunts what we'd suggest they do to be better. We love the industry and want it to grow so we try to give as good feedback as we can provide.

I'm a fan of Lovecraft (Duh, our comic at onezumi.com was based on a skewed version of that mythos) and I'd love to see more of that stuff out there. I can easily imagine a Innsmouth haunt, or a At The mountains of Madness haunt.

I love the Lovecraft stuff. So much good material there for haunts, and so much of it deeply psychological. Nothing gets inside my head like that except for John Carpenter movies.

I am surprised more haunts don;t use this material. That and Alien.

Oh man, that would be a dream come true. Not yet. Anything I design would have a narrative string that pulls the viewer in as well as through the attraction. There woudl be octopi involved. And a lot of atmosphere.

And NOTHING woudl be in neon 3d. Absolutely nothing. Those are rarely good.

A narrative style would be pretty interesting. Are there many haunts currently that have a strong storyline going on through the haunt?

Well, Hotel of Horrors has one. The first room in fact has an actor who gives you a minute or 2 story to set the mood--this is exceptionally uncommon for a haunt.

Howl O Scream and Universal tend to do some kind of story every year--our favorite year for Universal was 2008 where they had "Bloody Mary", their icon, scattered throughout all of their houses--sadly they've never done anything quite as good since then.

Dam, son. Burn lol

How important do you feel is the soundtrack of a haunt? For example, do you think Midnight Syndicate is overused?

I actually see MS mentioned, but I am not familiar with their music. I probably have heard them. I think soundtrack is really important and I would say that Delirium Dog at Scarehouse in Pittsburgh probably has the best sound track.

Soundtrack is important but there are some attractions that should be void of overhead music. Sometimes silence is a powerful weapon for a haunted attraction. Especially a completely dark maze, those should always be silent. I personally will be blasting MS outside my home haunt this Halloween!

I agree with you quiet can be fucked up. I got freaked out in Ghost Hunt at Pennhurst! We were the only ones in there I felt like shoving my head in my vagina like a snail.

You are right Louis--in fact I think dead silence in a haunt based more on atmosphere can really kick it up.

Louis is The Man

How do you compare to John Cusacks character in 1408?

We aren't ghost hunters, so probably not very much. Heh. But if we got trapped in a crazy room like that at a haunt we'd probably love it.

What is the furthest distance that you would even consider traveling for a haunt?

O: As far as we can afford OR if a haunt wants to fly us out, anywhere. We'd love to get to TX and CA in the coming years.

There are some great ones in Texas. My friends and I went to one in College Station that's run by a TAMU fraternity, and they do a pretty damn good job. This is coming from someone who's been through dozens on dozens of haunted places and doesn't scare easily; actually being set in some reportedly haunted woods helps the atmosphere a lot.

OMG I have heard TX is one of the best places for haunts. I think there is on called Scares for a Cure that is actually INSANE. It's done by the crew that used to do the crazy Garriott house. The guy who did Ultima Online and made his house into a secret passage castle and set a haunt in it.

I really want to get down there next year. And also Louisiana. One of our favorite haunts is Lulu's House of Horrors which is actually a charity haunt in PA, so it's not always the big money places that kick major ass.

Often it's the little guys who astound me.

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O: I think that haunts are going to become more theatrical, like Then She Fell in NYC and Sleep No More. I hope that this is true because it's the best. Busch Gardens Tampa's Alone house did that last year.

Busch Gardens Williamsburg Virginia has the best ride ever in Verboten - a combo dark ride and coaster. It's really the best in my pinion.

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On the Sleep No More point, "Then She Fell" is another awesome experience in NYC that kicks super ass. We supported it when it was a kickstarter event and it;'s now in regular production. Imagine living in the book "Through The Looking Glass for 2 hours with branching paths through the experience and areas only you see--it's one of the best things I've ever experienced and I can't recommend it enough.

And, unlike the Sleep No More crew, Then She Feel treated me in a respectful manner when I tried to talk to them. So that's a plus.

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Have you been to Netherworld? From what I hear it is the be all and end all of Haunted Houses. We will be there next week for the first time!

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Yikes! Yeah. Big country is huge! Big state is big. :(

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Visit NJ where we are - my commute to work is 1.5 hours one way. Heh!

Where are you from?

Actually The Mummy is another favorite of mine, I thikn if they gave it a good refurb (I heard they might have actually done that since I last rode) they would be close contenders. Although I have to say that my personal bias toward Verbolten is probably because it was an original concept and not licensed IP. It just seems more ballsy.

Sadly my fear is that pre shows and narrative will be less in the future because it seems young peopel just want TO RIDE EXTREEEEEEMMMME. I like narrative and pre shows. I almost power bombed an annoying kid in Tower of Terror at Disney who was whining through the pre show that it was boring.

GET OFF MY LAWNNNNNN

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Agree on the attention spans! I also find the HM queue to be a bit too cartoony. Like The Little Mermaid ride, everything is moving toward happy dappy bullshit ballhockey shifuck. Put something that looks legit out. The Haunted Mansion is family friendly and legit. No need to Barney the Dinosaur and his flying fartknockers.

EDIT: Spelling

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The biggest thing I love is that you can now see the front of the house from the Liberty Belle

Yeah, it's kind of weak. But I have to admit, the fact they spent any money on the Haunted Mansion at all was a positive. In our opinion they seem to be practically disavowing it's existence. They dumped it's merch location and stuck it in another place as a small corner. We constantly don;t understand why they don't have a ton of stuff for that attraction. They could make a ton off it, but we suspect they think it's "too scary for children" and wouldn't even make it again if they could.

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This would be the best news!

You need to get down to VA more often. You're missing some really good haunts.

I agree! VA is one of my favorite places.

We are going to hit VA this year--but the sad thing is there's only a few weeks most attractions are open--and so many want us to come that we can't fit even half of them in!

Yeah, October is not long enough. Darkwood Manor, Paxton Manor, and Haunted Hollow are all well worth a stop and within about an hour of eachother. If you've never been to Markoff's Haunted Forest in Dickerson, MD, that is also a must-visit.

Dammit, we need to petition for a longer season. Oni and I have a hell of a time working out a schedule each year. It's horrible when we have to cut places due to time/distance. I want to go to every place on the planet! We need more year round haunts!

It's actually quite stressful to schedule stuff for this reason. :( It's a shame that it's not financially viable to have hem operate all week long. That woudl help with touring.

I want to do them all! We will try our best for sure.

What made you decide that reviewing haunts would be your "thing"?

Oni and I wanted to do something that we both could do together. She loves rollercoasters but I can't do them because I'm chickenshit and have a bad back. So we discovered we both enjoyed Dark rides and Haunts--plus we could remember which we did by writing them up on the site.

Some of the names are so similar it's impossible to remember who is Fright Ass or Ass Fright

It happened by accident - We just started doing it because Harknell can't ride coasters with me bu the grew up wanting to go to the Haunted Mansion in Long Branch, NJ.

Poor man:-( Love them coasters!!

Ugh, I wish I wasn't so viscerally scared, but I got ruined at a young age when I almost fell out of a coaster (seriously, it was the Runaway Train at Six Flags Great Adventure). I also have some minor back issues so the idea of going on what I call an "ass inverter" would be my nightmare.

I really miss seeing Verbolten or The Mummy. Oni is always trying to get me to go on them but I'd honestly puke and crap myself on them. In fact, if aliens ever wanted to torture me to reveal our hidden defense plans they'd just have to place me on a coaster and I'd betray the human race in a second.

Runaway Train was ass.

Yo if you puke and crap it'll be our secret. And everyone else in the park...

Verbolten at Busch Gardens Williamsburg is the one I wish most that he could try.

Still trying to get him on Splash Mountain.

what haunted attraction was the worse? what made it the worse?

I actually had the shits at Nightmare Screamplex and they had no port o johns. I considered crapping on their castle. I proved I had an iron ass that night.

crapping on the castle?? show them how you really feel!!

True story-I thought of my ass as a reverse pac man on that day

Well, their wooden castle was crappy and I also had to crap. There really was no alternative. You see, in times of dire straights you must consider your crapping options at hand.

But I held my butt shut through the next 30 minutes of the attraction successfully.

have you walked through "Blackout" yet? if so, your thoughts?

No, I think they were trying to invite us, but the penis in the face and the tampon in the mouth is just not my thing. When I think of haunted houses I think of horror fantasy, not this. But that is just my personal opinion. I hear that they are amazing but I am just not the target audience.

Here's a softball: What Youtube channel should we subscribe to for your video series when it goes up?

http://www.youtube.com/user/OnezumiStudios

I read in this thread that you said some scare tactics are overused and unoriginal. What are some tips you think would be new and scary?

Edit: thank you for replying, but I have two more questions. Where I volunteer, it is a local haunted trail in the woods in Long Island . We don't have a big budget, but we are resourceful. We have a chainsaw guy (of course) who follow people around and chase them. And if we find out a persons name, we like to follow the group and chant the persons name. We also have a clown house, a butcher, etc. What would you add or take away? Also, do you like to dress up for Halloween?

I like it when 2 actors improve or combine together for distraction scares. Also I love it when the actors create characters that are very developed. Hotel of Horror in Saylorsburg, PA allows their actors this freedom. Last night they got me at Pennhurst by making me think the wrong way was the exit - and there was a guys there. So subverting what I think is true is a good way. It takes some thought and training.

I like the idea of your haunt! What's the name of it?

I think what you are describing is awesome. If you don;t have a big budget, following someone like that and or comedy can really make up the slack IMO. I can;t really tell what to add or take away without seeing the actual attractions. Clowns can be overdone, but they really are effective.

Sadly we don't dress up for Halloween. We'd like to but no one we know throws an epic Halloween party. I might have to do so one year, But I live in a small apartment. :( Ironically, Halloween day itself is generally nothing and the end of a month and a half of touring haunts and partay.

What do you think of the video for Bruce Springsteen's Tunnel Of Love?

Now I'm really scared!

But you know what, I really wish more classic Tunnel of Love places still existed. Most classic Dark Rides are now gone, and it's a shame. In the off season Oni and I try to visit as many classic rides as we can to document and experience that part of haunt history.

I saw one on Sam and Max Freelance Police

Pretzel Dark rides are the best. Trimper's Rides i Ocean City, MD has one of the best classic family-friendly dark ride.haunted houses now. Also Rehoboth Beach in Delaware.

but I've never seen that video. :) I just heard "dark rides".

If you love classic New Jersey amusement parks check out the video. I'm on a Kindle so I can't copy and paste or I would post a link to the video.

I totally will after the reddit! :D

Do you have any pet peeves when it comes to scare actors?

O: The lunge and scream with no other tactics involved. Variety is good.

H: Many actors do the "help me" stuff. Kinda boring. It's better to have it be something more in depth than just a trapped victim. But this is more the design of the attraction than the individual actor.

How about when scare actors repeatedly roar in your ear...? I have never heard a zombie roar like a cat? That usually does nothing for me! And Harknell I totally agree the whole trapped victim is only effect if it is used as a distracta-scare....

I also hate when some just shake cans. Once I went to a haunt where vampires were shaking cans (WHY?) and they looked like they were trying to jerk off the invisible can man.

anything interesting and scary in Illinois to go to? what is the scariest attraction you have been to?

We haven't been out to Illinois area yet. The haunt that got our 2012 brutality award was Hotel of Horrors/Altered Nightmares in Saylorsburg PA. Those guys just don;t give a crap and go balls out crazy. They don't touch you though, which is a small mercy.

LOL small mercy. Tell The Penitent that.

Have you been anywhere in Europe? If so where is your best location, with an emphasis on UK sites?

I wish! I have never been out of the country. My goal with my life is to be able to be secure enough that I can do that. I do have some guest posts on my site about UK haunts, though. I have been told that they aren't as well developed as US haunts but due to the Six Flags influence they are taking on a life and culture f their own, which is awesome to hear.

Do you guys make a living from reviewing the attractions, maintaining your blog etc? Or do you have day jobs to support your passion?

Yeah, we just did what we love and kind of have to retrofit the monetization now.

There is a haunted house called Scareview Haunted School in St. Albans, West Virginia. I was really skeptical about it, but it was so well done. Have you been?

Sadly, I have not! They haven't contacted us to invite us out and I didn't know about them. Perhaps I'll introduce myself.

It's funny how many places are now popping up all over. Haunts really seem like a growth industry right now. I wish we could go to all of them.

Give Them All To Me

Hi, I'm from Delaware and have gone to a place called Frightland way too many times, so I was wondering what is the best place around or near Delaware? Thanks!

Oh hey, I just saw that more questions were asked after we logged off. I'll go ahead and answer now: I think your best bet would be to look to the MD or Eastern PA area. I am not sure of the geography (sorry if this is far) but Hotel of Horror in Saylorsburg, PA and hmm...we actually got rained out in MD this year so it's tough to say. I'll keep my eyes open for this coming year!

I would love to do what you guys do. I usually only make it to Factory of Terror and The Haunted Schoolhouse and Laboratory every year. Can't find much else in the area that's that good really. You guys sound like you have a blast!

Oh hey, I just saw that more questions were asked after we logged off. I'll go ahead and answer now: I LOVE The haunted Schoolhouse and Lab. Honestly you have probably the best on in the country right there.