I have worked at a sex store for the past 5 years. AMA! /nsfw

I had a kidney stent installed last Wednesday. When will I stop seeing blood in my urine?

Please consult a doctor, I work retail I do not have a medical degree.

How are the benefits? All you can eat undies or anything like that?

I tend to get anything I want at cost or free.

What is the absolute weirdest thing any one has done or said in the store?

This 50 year old really, really, really creepy guy bought a Miley Cyrus blow-up doll. Which is fine, but he seemed like the kind of guy that would keep me tied up in his basement for months.

They made a Miley Cyrus blow up doll? Oh god, innocence gone.

Couple of good ones. http://i.imgur.com/uowgxk6.jpg

I imagine many people are nervous when buying things for themselves like men buying dildos and etc, is there any reason for that or do you Just not give a shit?

I honestly do not give a shit. I just want to make sure that everyone gets the product that they're looking for and are happy with it. People tend to be nervous because of the stigma that our kind of stores tend to carry. But, honestly we are just here to help and really don't judge.

No questions. Just wanted to thank you for doing what you do. You seem like a quality salesman.

Thanks I really appreciate that!

Has anyone ever hit on you while they were shopping?

If so, what did they say and what was your reaction?

I'm gay, I have had quite a few women try to hit on me. This one chick came behind the counter and dirty danced on me and got her friend to tell me that she thought that I was "smoking". I had to politely tell her that I was not interested in that vag.

Score one for the gay team. Not bad looking.

:)

Men never try to hit on you?

No, it's not an optimal place to meet people.

Largest dildo you've ever sold. Metric and imperial units, please.

That would be the Great American Challenge. A total of 15.5 in with 11.5 of those being insertable. It has a 9" circumference and weighs 5.4 lbs. If you want metric, go to a converter.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00347A4QQ

Log out of amazon before clicking.

How would you compare this monster to that? With 17 in from base to tip, and an 8 in circumference.

If you are going to go big you might as well get one with a suction cup so it doesn't fall over.

Most memorable experience on the job?

So one time I was working with a coworker and this college guy came in. He went into the lingerie room, and then proceeded to get naked.

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Upvote for your name. We had to call the police, but I think it was just a kid that lost a bet.

Have you ever used one of the store's products?

If I didn't, I would not be very informative, would I?

During an average day how many sales do you make?

Weekdays 2 - 3k Weekends around 5k or more.

Is it common to sell leather clothes and gear at regular sex shops? I can't find any!

I brought the leather jogging pant to that store 6 years ago. They said no. How many motha f*ckas you done seen wearing the leather jogging pant!

Most sex stores only sell products bought from national vendors. I've had a lot of people come in and try to sell their products to us. My advice to them is to try to sell it to one of the national vendors in the adult novelty business. Oh, and make sure you get it patented.

That is a good question. Our stores mainly just have specific brands of lingerie such as Dreamgirl, which is generally made with pleather and things like that. For more hardcore individuals looking for leather gear and handcuffs without a quick release switch should look for a local LeatherMasters. Most sex stores sell beginner fetish products.

1. You seem like an adorable dork.

2. Most entertaining thing you've had happen on the job?

Awe, thank you. Well, I once met a homeless man who was wearing one shoe, and a football jersey and claimed to be the CEO of Harley Davidson. He seemed busy as he had a radio show to do in the morning.

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Not even close.

Have you ever had to deal with minors sneaking into your establishment?

Underage people are generally very obvious. They go around giggling at everything and that's when I ask for their ID. So advice for 17 year olds that want a toy, don't be an idiot.

I'm 21 and I started laughing last time I checked out one :/ couldn't help it after reading Mother/Daughter Exchange Club 13

Laughing is not forbidden, I still laugh at things. There are a lot of funny products and things that are meant to be funny. My post earlier was referring to people that laugh uproariously at every single thing in the store.

"Laughter is forbidden, No sexy toys for you!" Dildo Nazi....

Not you Tapecaster, but the stupid scene that just played out in my head.

Thanks for sharing, made me laugh pretty hard.

My boyfriend and I joke around that I have a massive, 20" dong that I'm one day going to fuck him silly with. My question to you is: What's the name of that enormous, black, unicorn-dildo-horn you're rocking, and where the hell can I buy it?

I'm glad you knew I was going for unicorn and not dickhead. Also, it's a Doc Johnson Hung Vac U Lock. Here's the link http://www.docjohnson.com/vac-u-lock-2/attachments/hung-realistic-black.html

UPDATE: I am going to bed. Thank you all for your great questions and comments! Feel free to keep posting questions and I will get to them when I wake up.

Have you ever heard of someone using a the baby Hitler dildo? http://imgur.com/v78iK

There was a question earlier that asked if any of the products scared me, and I said no. Man was I wrong.

What was the worse customer you've had to deal with?

This woman came in wearing a fur coat. She complained loudly and rudely to everyone in the store and me about how hot it was. It was the middle of summer and the thermostat was set at 70 as usual. I then helped her find lingerie for two hours, all the while she continued being a total bitch. I let her in the dressing room to try stuff on, I then continued to ring up customers. She ran out of the dressing room with all the product and darted for the door. I went outside after her and she tried to run me over with her fucking car.

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Fleshlights are the highest quality masturbator sleeves that we carry. All the fleshlights are made of the same material (patented SuperSkin) but, they have different faceplates and interior textures. The Pure interior style probably has the most realistic vaginal texture. Be sure to use lube and clean properly after every use. :) Dishwasher Safe!

EDIT: Not actually dishwasher safe.

Dishwasher Safe!

Wat.

I would still recommend the sink, heat and silicone don't do well together.

Have you ever had any super creepy customers?

Simple answer: yes.

not so simple answer?

We get plenty of creepy customers, it's just something you learn to deal with working in one of these stores. Some are worse than others, but most are at least tolerable. Then again, you get the guy that drops crack on the counter and tries to get you into the bathroom. Because, you know, who can resist crack?

What's the weirdest item that any customer has asked for ? And do customers ask you for sex advice ? What's the ratio of first timers : returning customers ?

And did you ever feel uncomfortable selling an item ? If yes, what was it ?

OMG yes. First question: This guy came in and asked if we had something to make his dick smaller.

2.I'm happy to give advice as long as it remains a professional conversation.

3.I would say about half our customers are returning customers.

4.No, I've been here a long time, it takes a lot to freak me out. I would not work here if the products made me uncomfortable.

Ok any unique items which surprised you ? I mean any item which made you think "Gosh, there is an item for that ? People actually use that?"

When the Squeel came out I thought it was pretty innovative. It is a wheel of tongues that spin and simulate oral sex on a woman.

Most popular item sold in store? And how many men do you get weekly asking for Fleshlights, on average?

And, the pay? Is it good?

The most popular item sold in the store would be stamina pills for men. On average I would say anywhere from 10 to 20 people. Many find without asking (they have their own special stand). The pay is typical for any retail store. I'm not rich, but I can pay my bills.

Whats the ratio male/female that goes in that store?

More women than men, I would say 5 women to every 3 men.

Best type of lube?

Most prefer silicone lube because it lasts 5 to 10 times longer than water based lube. However, silicone is harder to wash off. My personal favorite silicone lube: Swiss Navy.

Greatest named sex toy?

Definitely the Ass Master, if that's too much we also have the Ass Servant.

Is there an Ass Apprentice?

No, but that sounds like an awesome tv show.

How often do you have minors come into the store?

Not often enough to be a problem.

My boyfriend wants to have anal so bad, but I've always been against it. I heard if lube that numbs your butthole. Does this make anal easy or...? This is a silly question, I'm sure.

Don't using a desensitizing lube for anal. In case there is anything wrong that may happen you won't know about it for a while.

Totally forgot to address that. Quarterpinte is correct in saying that using desensitizers such as Anal Ese can be dangerous because you need to feel what's going on. If it hurts too much you should stop. I would say only use Anal Ese if you have had anal sex before, and only use a little to ease the pain of initial penetration.

Anal can be enjoyable. First, make sure to have lubrication, it is essential for anal sex. If it is your first time for anal you should get a small butt plug. This will help get you ready for the real thing, just get used to the feeling of being full. It will relax the sphincter and allow for easier entry afterwards. Many don't want to talk about it, but if you feel uneasy about cleanliness you can enema. It is important to feel comfortable and relaxed.

What do you like/hate about your job the most?

I like the satisfaction of helping people improve their sex life and/or marriage. It is so nice when people are actually super appreciative of what I do. I hate when people seem to think the store and me are just a complete joke. Also, when people assume that the employees that work here are just perverts or whores.

So true.

You know, sticking something up your ass for the first time can be daunting.

We're lucky that we have consultants like you to help us!

That's what we're here for, so thanks!

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Really couldn't put an accurate number to that one. I sell a lot of dildo's.

UPDATE: I'm awake!

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Being overly affectionate. I understand that this is a sex store, but we want all the customers to feel comfortable and you macking on your lover does not help. Customers opening packages without our assistance. If you would like to see anything we are more than happy to take it out and show you or power it up so you can see how it functions.
Customers laughing at literally every single thing we have.

What is the strangest item you sell?

The superhero themed dongs that we got were pretty surprising.

To be honest, that's much more tame of an answer than I was expecting.

I can't remember the name of the 17" one we had at one point. The gigantic ones don't sell very well and we tend to carry only one or two at a time.

2 part question: Did your store rent DVDs, and if so, Did your store have mandatory employee rentals, for recommendations?

We don't rent, we sell. Personally, I would not want to rent porn to people.

Serious: What does your family think about your job?

I don't think any of them have ever said anything negative about it.

Regarding hygiene in sex shops; what kind of safety procedures and/or quality control do you have in place to ensure everything is safe to be used in the human body. Or does each item come with its own set of instructions on how to maintain/clean? Probably sounds very naive, but I don't have any sex toys; though apparently a friend got me one for a present recently..

You should always clean your toys with a toy cleaner before use after you buy them. Not because it has been used, but because of dust and other things that can get on it during manufacturing. It should also be cleaned before and after each use. You can use toy cleaner or any non-alcoholic unscented soap. Most toys do come with instructions. Also very important, do not use silicone lubricants with silicone toys because silicone reacts with silicone and heats up which can deteriorate the toy.

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It all pretty much evens out. Maybe a tad less elderly. So If I had to put a number on it I would say 35% youth, 40% middle aged, and 25% elderly.

Best sex toy for men (both anal and sleeve)? Best sex toy for women (both vagina and anal)?

Personal preference is huge in this industry because everyone is turned on by different things. You must get the one that sticks out to you. The most popular toys for men would be a prostate stimulator, and the most popular sleeves would be the cheaper $20 to $30 UR3 sleeves (best would be Fleshlight or Tenga). For women many decide to go with a bullet, which is used for clitoral stimulation. Anally, butt plugs are definitely the most popular buy.

Hey, just wanted ask something fairly similar to what mont_blanc said, but a bit more broad: How often do you get guys/girls buying something 'for a friend', when you know it's for their own use?

Maybe once or twice a week. Many times once they see that we are helpful and friendly, they get more comfortable.

What is the most unusual item in your store's inventory?

Tough question, we have a lot of unusual items. But, here is a few. The liberator bed: http://i.imgur.com/lzLPXOP.jpg Infidelity tests The Accommodator (a chin strap dildo that attaches to your face) and some cool anime cock cages. http://i.imgur.com/lkhnhHu.jpg

Yeah those chin dildos are weird. Is there a reason the bed is shaped that way or is it only a part of the design?

The bed is shaped that way because it rocks back and forth. Also, the bars can be used to attach bondage products.

i'm uncircumcised so when i have sex with a woman my foreskin retracts and hurts like hell. they say people who have phimosis is rare, but i'm sure i have it. are there any numbing lubes out there that'll completely numb the head during intercourse?

Phimosis can be painful, but can be manageable. Gentle stretching over time can help long term. You can also use delay sprays or creams to desensitize the area. When using desensitizers, be careful because foreskin can tear if put under too much pressure. Wearing condoms can be even more unpleasant for guys who are uncircumcised, but they make condoms that are larger at the head of the condom to make it more comfortable. I would recommend gentle stretching most of all. Pull your foreskin back as far as you can, than just go a little farther each time. Over time this will help immensely, you can even pair the stretching with a desensitizer.

Honest thoughts on the Feeldoe?

Feeldoe is a really high quality brand, and one of the few strapless strap ons. The only con I would have to say is that it doesn't stay as securely in place as some would like.

How many shoplifters do you get a week?

Unfortunately, it is a constant battle.

What, in your opinion, is the best lube on the market for all potential purposes (this side of the border)?

Swiss Navy, Pink, and Sliquid <---All of these are leagues above most other brands.

What's your least popular item?

The Ass Master that I referenced earlier. Although I did sell the slightly smaller Ass Servant once. I have yet to ever sell the Ass Master.

How many people try to return products?

Usually the same ones that make sure, before they touch anything, that we don't take returns.