Sal Vulcano of truTV's Impractical Jokers and The Tenderloins Comedy Troupe

How is your Super AIDS?

regulated.

Me and Sal just now in wegmans, awesome dude!http://i.imgur.com/IGMO80W.jpg

nice to meet you! meeting so many great people here at wegmans! lot of fun! who knew doing an AMA at a grocery store would be the tits.

Can we see those pictures of you kissing the old man already?

P.S. Sorry about the Super AIDS. I hope you get better.

i need to find those to disprove this whole thing. thank you for your sympathy.

If you and the guys were a human centipede, what order would yalls be in?

there's no way i'm not first if i don't kill myself before it happens. murr last. f him.

Have any of the other jokers actually done anything with your sister?

no one has actually done anything. "done anything"? you live in a basement, right? (no offense, i did for 9 years)

Done anything leaves it open. Here is a small list of possible "anythings".

Angry Dragon Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

Arabian Goggles A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new.

The Bait N' Tackle The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!

Ballsacking Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.

Bear Claw A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.

Beef Curtain The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.

Beer Dick This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking. They tend to fuck anything with a pussy while experiencing beer dick.

Blumpy You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.

Boston Steamer The act of ending a relationship by depositing a steaming pile of feces on the back of a sleeping lover after a night of passion followed by a hasty departure.

Brazilian Flapjack The act of Blowing one's love sauce on their partners sternum and letting her bake in the sun. The partner will then return later and peel off the cumjack and feed it to the craving slut.

The Bronco You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.

Brown Bagging It Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.

Brown Necktie You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the funbags.

Brunski When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)

The Bullwinkle The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie styling' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)

Butter Face When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty.

Cajun Hot Stick The act in which the cock is taken out of her pooper and slathered in the pool of dip spit in the small of her back and then re-inserted.

Christmas Turkey Carver The act of sitting carefully behind your prone partner, inserting three fingers in her vagina, one in her ass, and voraciously pumping your digits in and out, maintaining a perfect L-bend at the elbow, and using only your rotator cuff as a power pivot

The Canine Special Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!

The Carpet Cleaner While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.

The Chili Dog When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.

Chocolate Pizza Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.

Chocolate Pizza Milkshake (added 2/10/02) Felching somebody with hemorrhoids.

Cocoa and Tea (added 2/10/02 – thanks Keith ) After doing the "Dog in a Bathtub" – you plop your buttstained basted balls into your ho’s mouth.

Cleveland Steamer The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries. This leaves you with a "Chili Dog"

Cock-Stuffing Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles, but involves using thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire, rubber worms, etc.), and inserting them into the dick hole. Over many months, continue to gradually ream out the hole-at-the-head with larger items, thus ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain the goal of fucking your urethra.

Cold Lunch The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's performing fellatio.

The Concoction First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho bitch girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarten again.

Cop's Delight The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut.

The Compton Gangbang You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help you out.)

The Corkscrew Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice, you'll have the effectiveness of a drill press and within weeks you'll be able to bore through wood.

Corn Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit. Can be used as a great pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance; "Baby, you're more Corn than Green Giant", or "Damn bitch, you are Corn!"

Couch Bombing When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need to buy It dinner first

Coyote This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

Cum Dumpster A quadriplegic whore.

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch The once in a lifetime act when blowing a hot steamy load down the back of the girl's throat, proceed to give her a large cold bottle of your most favorite carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.

EXCELLENT RESPONSE.

How's the super AIDS treatment coming along? I'm pulling for ya, buddy.

thank you for your support.

What are some jokes that were too risque they wouldn't air them and which of those is your favorite?

they didn't air the one where we had to have lots of unprotected sex with strangers. that was my personal fave.

When are you going to have Brian Johnson on Impractical Jokers as a guest joker or as part of the punishment

I'd love to! Also if you;re a big dan of BJ he spells his name with a "y". Sick burn!

Now that people are starting to know you how often is whatever you're doing ruined by someone who recognizes you?

They do recognize us but there are billions that don't. All good.

How long did it take you to find your phone on the trash barge. Felt so bad for you! PS loved the meet and greet in boston!

it took about 25-30 minutes. felt like 25-30 days. word!

Sal, just want to thank you and Q for inviting me to the premiere. Had a blast, but wondering when photos from the event will be released. I don't have one of me and my friend together, just ones of her and all of you.

No prob! Not sure about that. Maybe Q knows.

Two questions...Are you guys still doing your Tenderloins podcast? Also just curious what your tattoo says on your arm.

YES! We are a bit buys but LOVE doing the podcast and it will continue. I hope a new one will be released soon. The tattoo on my arm is song lyrics, it's a tribute to a friend.

Joe, Q, Murr: Fuck, Marry, Kill?

fuck marry and kill myself

Do you think a USO tour with the Tenderloins could be possible? I would love to see you over here.

I'd love to. We'd have to tailor a new show though. The traveling show now skews toward IJ, and i always felt it's less interesting to non fans of the show.

Why'd you make out with an old man in New Orleans? Is that how you got super aids?

Additionally, I can literally be at that Wegman's in a half hour. Friends?

Why not? No silly, you can;t get Super Aids from that! hahaha! silly! People have been stopping by the wegmans, feel free. but don;t bother me too much.

Hey Sal, were you pissed when Q and Murr were with your sister in this year's episode. your face was priceless. one of the best! -Anthony

indeed i was. line crossers!

Love you guys, I tune in every Thursday.

Here's my question. Do you guys get people who basically tell the person being pranked, it's a show?

here's my answer: yes! we need to in order to show them on the tv set.

Do you guys actually have hotline phones? (From the app) And do you ever answer them?

yes we do! we all have one. they ring when you call. we turn them on and answer whenever we can. i'll be answering some calls tomorrow night!

Hi Sal!

I have always wondered how in scenes like the buffet scene where you took food from peoples plates, were there bodyguards that would protect you in case things got physical?

And also, are you ever going to forgive them? Thanks for the AMA can't wait til tomorrow!

EDIT: This scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDCCAflsVi8

We have security but it doesn't make it less scary bc they're not stopping a punch. Also it just goes against social norms so you always feel really awkward. Forgive who for what?

Did you beat up the ferret looking man up for molesting your sister?

he will get his

Sal you are looking really good this season. Want to share your weightloss secrets?

no secret to weightloss. all the traditional stuff. counting calories helps.

How bout some more details on Murr being "intimate" with a stuffed animal?

sure. he fucked a teddy ruxpin.

Man this thing is blowing up!

When did you wanna start doing the comedy stuff? I think Q said on a TESD that you used to be a wallstreet guy. What changed? Also, how did the group dynamic change when Q joined the Tenderloins?

i remember having the desire from a very young age, like 5 or 6. i started in earnest probably after high school. i was a 9-5 guy, not wall street per se. nothing changed. i just made comedy a priority which i should have done sooner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ap_9SGSfMOg

I fell out of my chair laughing at you shooing the "pigeons" away last week. How hard was this challenge to walk blinded? You guys are awesome :)

it was way harder than i expected!

Hi Sal, first off I just want to say the new look this season is fab but my daughter and I loved you as the poster boy who ate potatoes. Do the four of you know how irresistible you all are? Who is the better dancer, you or joe? Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

What an odd succession of questions. Yes I'm fully aware of how absolutely irresistible I am. Yes, I'm an amazing dancer. In 5 years I see myself sitting in your seat. (were those good answers?)

hey Sal, how great is Joe! right????? right???? ;) ;) one, two, EYEBALLS!!!! love ya!

he's the best.

Sal,

As heterosexually as possible, I've got to say your new style is dope. Is Q jealous? I love what you guys do and congratulations on finding your phone!

It's really my same style it's just that no one ever saw me that way. I didn't realize how many people would watch so I never combed my hair or tucked in my shirt. Got tired of looking at myself that way.

Has anything topped the Red Roof Inn in Joliet yet?

Nothing yet!

How much is your medication for super AIDS

THERE'S MEDICATION?!?!?!

What's the best compliment you've gotten about the show?

All joking aside, the best thing I hear is that it turns people's days around. Helps families bond. Keeps spirits up of military overseas. I'm overwhelmed and humbled for all those people that share those sentiments with me. Thank you greatly.

That the show was as handsome as George Clooney.

You are a hero and role model to many that suffer from SuperAIDS. Do you believe that Bryan Johnson should be more like you when it comes to speaking publicly about his struggles with his Mega-Herpes?

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I know from listening to TESD that Q has written T.V. Pilots/Screenplays, I was wondering if you have? And what would be your dream project if you could get it off the ground?

I have. Q and I have together as well. I's like to have my own sketch show for sure. Write/star in a movie. Just keep working is really the dream though.

Will Larry every be on the show?!

i think so. would be fun. we'll try.

Love the show and most importantly when you are on TESD how's those super aids buddy? Haha only playing.

Just wanted to say your transformation from last season to this season is amazing you look fantastic. You're so handsome!

i was always handsome, fucker. mom, you hear this??

Does having SUPERAIDS interfere with your normal day to day life or do you have it under control?

control. like janet. jackson if you're nasty.

Any plans on making new Youtube videos? I think you guys should re-make Comment Responsibly using Facebook (or Tweet Responsibly - Twitter). Or hell, make a new Meet Sal, Inappropriate.

i'd love to make a new sketch soon. i think i have many more Sal, Inappropriate scripts.

Who would win in a cage fight? Sunday Jeff or Git Em?

i don;t know enough about sunday jeff but i know git em is cunning.

git em says sunday jeff.

Was there an incident in your past that started your fear of cats? If so, please tell!

my friend's cat attacked me many times.

My twin bro and I are from Kentucky and are some of the few who wear shoes AND also have all of our teeth. Is there any possible way we could meet you?

Of course! Why not? Can you take off your shoes first though?

How lucky do you feel to be hanging out in the great state of New Jersey instead of that rathole Staten Island?

I'm in a Wegman's, and that's the only good thing Jersey has to offer. Sorry that "weird" doesn't do it for me. Staten Island gave us the Wu-Tang Clan, have some respect.

Hey Sal! I keep checking the website for the fall tour dates, but every time I go on the tenderloins website it's not up. Where are the fall tour dates posted? Also, what is something about yourself that people end up being really surprised about when they find out? Love the Show! My whole family is obsessed and it is the one show we all watch together!

Thanks for checking! They def will be up any day on www.TheTenderloins.com

Hey Sal, what is your favorite Tenderloins sketch? Least favorite?

I think right now Craig Murray. I don't like a bunch.

HELLO Sal, Is it getting harder to pull off these bits without people recognizing you?

a little but not detrimental.

Do you remember the moment you met Q, Murr and Joe? What grade were you in?

Love the show BTW. Thanks for the laughs

We all met in freshman year of high school. Not sure of the EXACT moment. I didn't feel butterflies. It wasn't like a rom-com.

[deleted]

i'm just playin'!!

My friend Jess LOVES all of the Tenderloins and wants a date with one of you. She made this sign and posted it on Facebook. Any chance she can get a date? ;) The sign: http://i.imgur.com/hGjuBgV.jpg

If she gets the 1000 likes, who guaranteed she gets the date? Seems like false advertising. She better get a lawyer.

What is or was your favorite prank that you've done?

we filmed one yesterday where we were all were on a stage at once. i cried the entire time.

What was your BEST fan encounter?

the one i had just now in wegman's with carmen and barbara was pretty cool. happy 50th to them!

Hola Sal, tienen muchos fans en Latinoamerica, especialmente en Venezuela, no me pierdo ningun capitulo.... Te Amoooooooooooooo lindooooo.... cuando visitas nuestro pais??

gracias! yo tengo hambre en las biblioteca.

Manalapan, eh? First of all...love the show. (Especially you.) But with the show getting more and more popular, do you tend to get recognized more often? Have you found that you have to venture to new places to avoid being recognized in order to get the same ridiculous reactions?

Much love from Red Bank...come do a show at Count Basie!...then Ill take you out on a date.

i think we may do count basie!

Sal I grew up on Staten Island too. I'm 25 and went to tottenville. Do you think being from New York gives you an edge in doing what you do? I live in LA now and I feel like people outside of NY just don't have balls to do wild and crazy shit.

i think ny'ers definitely are equipped to deal with situations.

MTV and some other networks produce shows that are constantly putting down and disrespecting your hometown, Staten Island NY. What are your feeling about this negativity they portray, and how does it feel to be a be a positive, well respected product of Staten Island?

All I can do is represent myself in the best way I can and hope people are intelligent enough to not judge something/someone/someplace they know nothing about or only see on television for a few minutes. Staten Island is a great place!

Will we ever see Larry?

yes!

What would it take to get you to come to upstate ny and let me buy you a beverage at my local watering hole?

that sounds unreasonable.

Who facial hair is the best? Yours or Q's?

mine needs work fo sho.

Hey Sal, love the show, just checking to see if the new tour dates are posted yet! I have seen u guys twice once in muncie and then in nashville! I loved it. And was also wondering why not put Jay Miller in ur guys opening acts?

thanks! he does open for us as well.

When is your hit song "Butterfly Crime Scene" hit iTunes I'd like to buy it. Lol. What is your favorite challenge on that show?

i think the professional version we had made by pony boy is up on itunes. get it! she's amazing!

Dearest Sal!

Have you ever been involved in a prank where the individual knew who you were, but went along with it anyway?

i think that may have happened. if we find out though we cut it from the show.

When will you come to Pittsburgh, PA? I need you guys! Love you!

We are! Will be announced any day. GO STEELERS.

Hi Sal I love the show and think your so freaking cute. So I was wondering what would be the best prank you did or you wish you had done?

i really liked the dentist episode.

Sal, just wanted to say I'm a big fan of the show and have watched every episode! Keep up the great work man, I have honestly never laughed so hard during a TV Show!

thank you gold guy!

What's up scoop neck?! Hey Sal, in last weeks episode (it was great!) we saw different types of bits like the hide the pencil and the blindfolded one. Are you guys constantly thinking of new skits and slowly adding them on the show and seeing if they work or not, will we see new skits like these in this season or in the future?

Also, at this point it seems like The Tenderloins are the Impractical Jokers and vice versa, do you feel like that is the case and how much has this changed and/or benefited you guys?

yes sir we are. hoping to keep the show fresh. we have been The Tenderloins for 14 years, so it's great to expose that to more of you all.

Hey Sal! Why are you so adorable?

someone has to be.

Hi Sal. In your opinion kind of prank is usually the hardest to get thru?

i find the one on one in a room is the toughest.

Hey Sal! You are amazing and sooo hilarious! I would love to hear the story as to why you are afraid of cats?

i don;t trust those fuckers!

Hey, people, why not ask real questions, instead of just quoting lines from the show, and asking Sal when he is on tour near your hometown, or if he will marry you...that's what Facebook is for.

WORD CUZ!!!

How real is the show as far as the people you encounter. After all these jokes you guys play i would imagine that by now someone would have decked one of you guys lol

100% real or we won't do it.

Hey Sal! Enjoyed meeting you when you came to Cedar Falls, Iowa, hope to see you out here again!

My question is when it comes to the loser's punishment challenge, is it usually a collective decision for what the loser has to do, or is it usually something one of you comes up with? Is there a mastermind out of you four that seems to come up with the most challenges? Thanks!

we all plot against the odd one out

I'm sure everyone wants to know why are you scared of cats? Also, how many times did you sanitize your phone once you retrieved it from the trash.

P.S. Come to New Orleans so we can hang out! :)

i cleaned it thoroughly. cats can;t be trusted

Why can't Casey be in #BNO?

he made his bed.

Any plans to put not for TV segments and outtakes on a DVD? You guys are great love the show, wish it was an hour!!!!

yes! we just found out that DVD's will be available in november!

Hi Sal. I absolutely love you.. and your humor is the best!! Are you single? Also I noticed on the one episode where ya'll are at White Castle and Joe kept ducking and disappearing behind the counter from the two customers he came through the front door and slipped on grease or something..I'm surprised that you guys didn't mention that;. I was rolling on the floor laughing!!

Thank you for loving me. I only display my marital status on government forms. I mentioned it by way of falling to the floor laughing when it happened.

Hey Sal... Are you going to answer any of these questions?

i've been answering for hours dude!