My life has taken some dramatic swings. Grew up in a good home, no trouble, degree in Anthropology (cultural/social), licensed pilot at age 16, real-estate agent in the Silicon Valley making 200K+ in the mid '90 at age 24. Tossed all of that out the window, ran off to work as a bartender for Club Med, came home and became a drug dealer with annual sales revenue in excess of one million. Was told on and approached by an undercover Narcotics team, which I wasn't aware of their identity and sped off hitting one who flew up on my windshield, held on for few seconds and shot me. Spent 5 years in San Quentin Prison, worked as a Disciplinary Hearing Clerk, Ambulance Driver, Firefighter, and was one of the first inmate dog handlers, where my dog slept in my room. Ask me anything.

Comments: 1425 • Responses: 20  • Date: 

tomjhume680 karma

The one thing that got me is that if someone steals your shit, you can't call the police.

How often did you have to take the law into your own hands?

missinmee11553 karma

Yes, I believe you have hit upon the reason why drugs and violence are so tightly linked.. obviously if someone steals your sack, you don't call 911. Most people I've met with similar experience seem to go on and on with stories of how they kicked ass when someone tried to rip them off, or how they beat the shit out of someone who tried to burn them, etc.. I'm not going to BS anyone, cause that's not me. Truth is I'm a small somewhat nerdy dude, don't like guns or violence. So, unlike most short dudes, I don't have that short-mans complex. And I was straight up with all the people I did business with, and put it out there just like that. I'd say 'I'm a lover, not a fighter.' But, I'd follow it up with some philosophy about lions, tigers and bears being able to rip any man to shreds, yet it was man who ruled this planet. And, the reason being because the biggest muscle was the brain. I just let it be known that despite everything about me seemingly an easy 'mark' it would be a mistake for anyone to act against me because I didn't come into this game thinking I was going to go around kickin' ass, but I have put great thought into the matter, so anyone who tried best just kill me. I would also remind them of the value of the bag, how much people were willing to do for it, and how easy it is to buy the loyalty of their own mother, if they're mom were a user. Oddly enough this worked extremely well, and I kept above average respect, with only one person trying to burn me the whole year and a half I kept this level of business.

stabsthedrama608 karma

Is this an accurate re-enactment of your chase?

missinmee11124 karma

haha! no not hardly I wish it was, your re-enactment seems way cooler.

runtheplacered323 karma

the biggest muscle was the brain

Did you ever have some big huge guy look at you and say, "Bro, the brain isn't even a muscle. The biggest is the ass muscle" and then flex it for you?

missinmee11148 karma

haha! no, despite all the stories of guys getting raped in prison, In what I seen it was very rare. Any sort of man-sex, or prison bitches or guys fighting over a 'bitch' seemed to involve guys who wanted to be women anyway, and usually a lifer that knew they would never see another woman in there lifetime, and decided that they would take what they can get.

heavenknowsmarr283 karma

Are all the awful stories about prison true?

missinmee11438 karma

No, in my opinion most are not.

Emperor_Rancor147 karma

From what I understand you mind your own shit.

tasteslikeamerica93 karma

Depends on the security level. San Quentin high/max is riddled with gangs, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's a horror show.

ITworksGuys141 karma


missinmee11154 karma

The death row part which your probably talking about is East Block, which is actually labeled 'Condemned II' The original Condemned Row is really the sixth tier of North Block, which is filled with regular mainline inmates on the first five tiers, and called North-Segregation. It is completely sealed off from the regular part of course, and is the original death row. It has cells for less then 100 inmates, and seeing how there are over 600 condemned is the reason almost the entire east block is filled with condemned, with only one or two tiers of East Block being Ad-Seg. Very rarely do any non-condemned inmates or outside workers go in this area. While working in the firehouse I had the rare chance to partially up there when we had to change out the SCBA units in this section. I wasn't actually allowed to go up fully and see the tier, but only to the top stair landing when I carried up the new SCBA unit. Oddly it was extremely quiet, and hospital clean looking up there. Apparently it takes years and years of being on Death Row, as well as being a 'model' death row inmate to get housed up there, and any misdeeds will get them moved back to East Block. There is one cell on this tier NS1 which is kept empty and occupied by every condemned inmate 24 hours before they are executed.

xel0s221 karma

Not to antagonize you but it sounds like you got off pretty light. Did you have a good lawyer?

missinmee11473 karma

Well, your not antagonizing me in the least, however the details of my case may cause you to reevaluate your opinion. I was approached in my car by an undercover officer who looked like a big biker dude. He pointed a gun in my face, and said 'gottcha now mother-fucker'. In my hearing, he admitted on the stand to NOT wearing his badge on the chain around his neck like most under-covers do. I made a instant flight or fight choice. Put the car in gear and stepped on the gas, all the while looking out my side window at the gun in my face. I was unaware of another undercover standing in front to the right of my car and hit him sending him flying up into the windshield. He hung there for a moment and shot at me through the windshield. I was lucky and only got shot in my wrist.. Months in jail and their 'deal' came down no further then 8 years 4 months at 85%. I started trial, and they came back at me with 4 years 8 months at 85%.

elmatador12589 karma

I have to be honest, it's nice to see that at least the undercover cop was honest about not wearing his badge. I would assume that would be easy to cover up and lie about.

speathed129 karma

r/bad_cop_no_donut can't believe what they are reading

MakeASweater212 karma


missinmee1183 karma

Yes, even more detail on this is the reason I was only charged with ADW on an officer, and finally given the more reasonable 4 years 8 months. There were actually two different narcotics enforcement teams involved from two different counties, due to where they got the information, and where the location was of the drugs. They were working together, had the informant, and the drugs but did not have me. They then convinced the informant to act as bait and contact me. They used her as a ruse to meet me, which happened to be in another city where neither of these teams operated. They had intended to go to that city's police department, involve the locals and work out their plan of apprehending me. Somewhere along the line, they skipped this step because they were concerned of being too late to her and my agreed meeting time. As these two teams carried out their operation, they made other severe errors, the most serious being having other officers placed in 'cross fire' area which could have resulted in one cop shooting another. Another serious blunder on their part, which would have kept me from this near death experience was the one officer in the passenger seat which pulled up behind me in an unmarked mini-van was unfamiliar with the dash mounted police light. Apparently, he attempted to activate the light but was not able to in time. In all honesty If I would have known they were cops I wouldn't have taken off. I had no desire to hurt anyone, let alone some cop trained to kill when their life was endangered. They were even more worried when they found no drugs or other evidence on me, two dollars in my pocket and a valid ID of me, but in a name of someone other then the name she gave up. The initial stories in the next mornings papers had headlines which read something like 'Out of town narcotics team blunders take down in our town' and went on to question whether they had the 'wrong guy'..

ubaduck74 karma

can you please explain what the 85% means?

missinmee1119 karma

Many non-violent crimes allow for half time, or the ability to accrue day-for-day good time credits once endorsed to a mainline prison, and with the provisions that you don't get into trouble. Convictions for violence are only allowed 15% good time credits, and therefore violent offenders and offenses which are considered strikes do 85% of the sentence instead of the usual 50%. Oddly enough, additional violent offenses resulting in a second strike are allowed 20% good time credits, for what reason I do not know. This is of course the laws of one state, I'm sure each state is unique.

rx_tacos26 karma

Why would someone making 1 million in revenue be meeting a buyer? Undercover or not?

Also, if you were meeting a big time buyer of large amts of drugs, why didn't you get more time for the drugs as opposed to hitting the cop?

missinmee1122 karma

Well, if you read accurately you will see that I said an annual sales revenue in excess of a million dollars. I never said, nor implied that I made a million bucks..haha! Not even close, I figured my annual profit around 120-150K, less than I made as a bumbling real-estate agent in the roaring 90's for sure. Actually I got no time at all for the drugs. Initially I was charged with several drug related offenses in the county where they found them, which was a different county where I was charged and convicted of ADW on an officer. I was brought out to court after my ADW conviction, but only convicted of, of all things, perjury, which stemmed from the authentic ID I was found with, and that being the county where I had signed the DMV application under the statement which says something like 'Under the penalty of perjury...' The names registered at the location where they found the drugs, and the method which they gained access to the location were extremely weak, and those charges wound up being tossed out of court. Now, I'm sure they weren't too upset about it, since I was going to prison anyway, and I'm sure they would have tried a little harder if those more serious charges were not part of the picture.

Cal_Short155 karma

How did you get hold of drugs and how much did you have to invest to start off?

Also, how did you go about becoming a known dealer and gaining customers?


missinmee11263 karma

I sort of took a backwards path into it. I never started real small, peddling on the street, etc.. I was a casual user (weekend warrior) and my roommate who sold went to jail.. I happened to meet his suppliers supplier, who had serious quantity, and it didn't take long for me to move about a pound to pound and a half per week (of meth). I only had a handful of customers, and sold nothing under an once.

missinmee11130 karma

forgot to include this link, which details the Prison 'Pen-Pal' program with the Marin Humane Society which brings dogs into firehouse inmates for specific reasons and for a limited amount of time.

Gummyish116 karma

Where did you get shot? What was your reaction to getting shot? and did you seriously injure the narcotics agent? Thanks for the AMA

missinmee11281 karma

I got shot in my right wrist. I jerked the steering wheel pretty hard probably when I got hit, and the officer flew off. I continued to tare out of the parking lot, and didn't even realize I was shot until I went to shift gears. Something felt strange, and I looked down and seen that the palm of my hand was completely laid back on my forearm. I freaked out, and ran into a curb pretty hard, but it didn't slow me down too much. I actually drove about a mile, and was making a left turn into a hospital, when I got trapped behind a bus in the turn lane. I was sitting there holding my wrist trying to keep it from bleeding, as it had hit the artery there and was quite a gusher. I remember feeling kinda' light-headed and woozy and looking in the rear view mirror, and seeing the whole street filled with flashing lights.. and remember thinking, 'oh good the police, I'm not going to die' haha! They ordered me out of the car and kept yelling 'where's the gun, where's the gun' I said I don't have a gun you ass hole, Im the one who got shot. Wasn't till after I got into the hospital that I knew it was the police who shot me, and that I had run one over. I was originally charged with attempted murder on a police officer.

GaGaORiley471 karma

I continued to tare out

Yep, drug dealer alright.

Inabsentiaa35 karma

Actually I'd think that a drug dealer more than anybody would know the difference between tare and tear because of this.

missinmee11287 karma

Yeah, ok but I will blame the voice transcription software. I couldn't type all this shit, I got shot in my wrist.

spyd3rweb29 karma


missinmee1176 karma

No I never told on anyone, but I did give names every-time I was asked. Juan, Paco, Jorge, G-Money, and Slim.. and when they didn't like this answer, and started threatening me, I would just say that's the truth, and those were the names which I called them, I even told them to check my phone, they'd see all those names in there. Oddly enough I've seen more dudes turn snitch inside prison over real stupid shit, then on the street. The most likely person to tell on dealers is any female with children that they let know their business. It is almost a sure thing, and plays to the nature of the mother protecting their young at all cost. This was my undoing, and when I read the reports later on I found out that the girl who gave me up got pulled over, told she was looking nervous and appeared under the influence. When they asked her if she had anything on her, she pulled a 20 sack out of her bra. When they took her in, and started in with the threats about her kids being taken away, unless she start making a list of her 'friends' she said, 'well, I have one big one' and that was that.

d2pk73 karma

I got caught trafficking weed myself. Did you have a specific drug you sold or did you have it all for sale? I heard San Quentin isn't a playground, good to be out, eh?

missinmee11137 karma

Most of the scary stories about SQ relate to the '70's and some of the '80's. Sometime in the late 80's or early 90's it became mostly a 'reception center' and housed a mainline of only level two inmates. Now, lifers who have made it down to a level two, consider themselves lucky to be at SQ. Unlike many other prisons in Ca, SQ has good inmate jobs, and a large variety of educational opportunities and other unique programs.

Stovokor_X72 karma

  • what happened after he shot you ?
  • they employ inmates as ambulance drivers ? how does that work exactly.

missinmee11153 karma

Think I answered your first ? in the reply above. Yes, an inmate drives the on-grounds ambulance, as well as the fire engines. There are only about 12 inmates who live and work in the firehouse, and it is quite a privileged few who get this opportunity. By far it is the most luxurious prison living possible.

gbabedababe66 karma

How many women did you have during these crazy times?

missinmee11156 karma

Haha funny question.. asked by someone with knowledge for sure.. When I was first selling, I did not have the traditional 'dealer' life style.. I had a live in girlfriend, and was a weekend user myself. We went to bed, didn't have people hanging around, and I didn't bounce around in my drug dealer car.. However, she left me after about a year, and I did start a more typical dealer lifestyle.. At one point I had three different hotel rooms, in different city's with a different girl in each one.. this, of course led to my downfall and getting busted.

wild1ndian59 karma

What was your workout routine like at san quentin?

missinmee11156 karma

Well I sat in county jail for quite a while, with a pretty severe injury, and with the mindset that I was going to spend 10-15 years in prison, so I got fat, real fat. I went from being about 150 pounds to 230 pounds when I finally got to prison. My friends in prison used to laugh at me when I told them I really wasn't a fat guy, and that I'd loose the weight before I got out. I started by changing my diet, and at first just walking the yard. I remember my first day of walking, I didn't tire from the walk, but had to stop because my fat thighs rubbed together so much they chaffed. I kept walking, and limiting my food intake, and actually got down too low in weight about 140. About that time I got level one cleared, and went to the fire house, where I put on good weight, because the firehouse inmates actually had weights and a weightroom. When I got out I was probably in the best physical shape in my life. But I spent probably about 3 hours a day training during my firehouse stay.