I am the Before, During, and After Meth Addict who was in Air Force and Kinda Looks Like Jim Morrison Ask Me Anything!

Good for you for overcoming addiction and getting yourself clean. It's amazing what you are doing, you are helping to save a lot of lives. Keep up the good work.. The world needs more people like you :)

thank you. I will breed as much as I can in a few more years.

Thanks for your service and congrats on your recovery.

How often do you think about relapsing? (Sorry if that's a no-no question for recovering addicts.)

really not often at all. I help alot of people who are currently using. I drive people to detox all the time. When you see someone who is currently having their life controlled by drugs and is a miserable, miserable person it's opens your eyes a little bit and helps keep me sober.

did you ever steal as a meth addict? and if you did, how did you repair those relationships? was it hard for people to forgive u, despite your mental state at the time?

Yes, some people will never speak to me again.

i think i skimmed here somewhere that you used from 17 until 30s? wow. thats a long time for meth use. what happened to your teeth though?

I have great teeth. I still went to the dentist. I would brush and floss a lot.

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I was just had enough. I was done. You can only go through all that shit for so long before you just say fuck that.

Sort of as a follow-up question (please let me know if it's unclear): Do you think that this is something that addicts just have to realize on their own, or if a certain combination of external influences can force them to realize this?

both. It's always up to the addict to go get help, but people that are involved in his/her life should never lose hope. Always let them know that you are there to help them if they want it.

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it does both, it's the best sex ever on it. Never use it.

This reminds me of Tim Meadows from the movie Walk Hard.

i don't know how i feel about that

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nothing at all. I smoke like chimney and am trying to quit but that shit is harder than stopping meth

What is going on in your during picture?

I was up for days doing meth in a meth physios, I had boarded myself in the house, convinced my brother (who was sober) that people were coming in to kill us. After eating the rest of my drugs (all meth) I came to the conclusion that the people were actually upstairs in the attic and about to come down to kill us. The cops were called by my neighbors and they came in and arrested me, but once noticing I was completely out of my mind they brought me to the hospital.

Who took that photo? I bet its a powerful image for you to look at.

My friend Jimmy. I couldn't look at it for years.

Was he taking photos to help you realize what point you got to at that point your life?

correct

Those look like NOPD cops, did this happen in New Orleans?

Yes

I used to live there so I'm impressed that they brought you to a hospital when they realized you weren't right in the head. I love New Orleans but the lack of education about addiction and drug induced psychosis as well as resources for those affected was shocking for a girl (me) that grew up in the social services mecca that is Seattle. Oh and congratulations on your sobriety! I know how hard it is to loosen the grip of that drug, next month I will be 13 years clean from it.

congrats

Congrats on 13 years.

haha you do look like Jim Morrison! :) congrats i am glad you're sober

thank you. Long live the lizard king

Do you think he is actually dead, or hiding out in solitude?

Or.... Are you Jim Morrison?

I can niether confirm or deny.

When people talk about meth and heroin, it's like talking about bathsalts. You see the pictures of people on it, you hear the stories, and I feel like most drug users I know would never even think of trying it. There's a huge stigma against it because it's so easy to get addicted to and it's a mess once you're hooked.

But obviously people still find themselves at a moment in their life where they decide, yes, I would like to try heroin or I would like to try meth. So I suppose my question is where did that decision come from?

my first drug was ecstasy, so i decided kinda go big or go home. Hello meth.

What made you decide to go from ecstacy to meth?

I liked trying new things, it was fun at that time.

do you like the show breaking bad? :P

LOVE IT! but I haven't been up to date with it because it's kind of hard for me to watch. It hits really close to home.

What would you say led you to take meth?

i was in the rave scene and loved the lifestyle and just spun out of control really fast

Congrats on the recovery and helping others.

You are quite a handsome fella!

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I can't have been the first person to say your chubby cheeks are killer!

so now you're calling me fat?

Haha! What if I said I loved fluffy guys?!

nice ;)

Maybe it is the Italian in me, but I totally want to squeeze them!

lol thanks

Is meth a big problem in the armed forces?

ehh not really

Can a crazy, arm flailing, tweeker who talks to him/herself fully recover mentally? Serious question, I live in nor cal and see the results of meth abuse all the time

Lol yes they can. I was like that.

One more, is smoking pot a trigger for you?? What have you replaced meth with?

I have been drug and alcohol free since April 1,2011.

First of all, congratulations on your recovery! I have a few friends who are in the early stages of a meth addiction, do you have any advice in regards to how I can help them?

They need to feel a lot of pain first. A lot of people, especially when it comes to meth don't stop until they bottom out. All you can do is be there as a support for them and let them know that whenever they are ready you can get them help.

What caused you to start using meth in the first place?

I loved drugs. Why not try the "worlds most dangerous drug"?

What was a meth high like? What do you see? Tell me about it.

Like you're sky diving.

What was your ROA?

?

When was it that you realized it was time to clean yourself up? Congrats by the way, my Dad was in the AF for 25+ years

When I was living in my moms garage with zero friends.

someone very close to me struggles with addiction. This person has been through rehab, a school that specializes in kids with behavioral and addiction problems, a full year of sobriety only to return and start using again. Everyone tells me this person need to work the 12 step program, work the program, but what if this person doesn't want to work the program? How do you get someone interested in helping themselves?

12 steps saved my life. They have to want the help. Let them hit their bottom.

"Let them hit their bottom"

that is the answer i knew was coming, but feared the most.

Thanks for taking the time to do this AMA and thank you for over coming your addiction to turn your life around and help people in the same position. I've seen what addiction can do to people and families and its never good. Being someone who doesn't have an addictive personality, i never understood addiction until someone close to me was plagued by it.

It drove my dad nuts trying to understand it.

How much did you spend on meth daily? How much did a hit cost and how many hits would you use?

I don't know the actual amount I spent. I was selling it so I just did whatever I wanted whenever. I probably got up to 2-3 grams a day.

2-3 grams a day, holy crap. What was your preferred delivery method?

needle, snort, smoke and eat it.

holy crap dude, I'm glad you survived your adventure and are still here to help others, cheers!

;)

Did you have the meth problem or other drug addictions while serving? Did you get kicked out for it?

i was using meth only about once a month when I was in the force. I never got caught. Actually had a honorable discharge

The way the military handles drug testing i'm not surprised. National Guard/Reserve units only serve one weekend a month... so it's not a mystery as to when there is going to be a urinalysis.

I was very lucky I never got caught.

What's the most meth you ever did in one sitting.

I snorted a line that weighed out to 2 1/2 grams.

And then what did u do?

I went swimming , later a strip club , had sex ( really awesome sex) and I did more meth.

On a scale of 1 to over 9000, how good was the sex?

10,000

Is regular sex not as interesting now that your clean?

It's not like it was.

If you used from the age of 17 to 30 doesn't that mean you were using while you were in the Air Force? How did you get away with that given the drug testing?

luck

And I lot of freaking out when it was time to take a drug test.

How much did your personal relationships suffer and did you manage to retain any?

There are people I still love truley love that will never speak to me again.

never? have u tried to approach them? this makes me sad.

I tried a lot! It just pisses them off even more. So my amends to them is to leave them alone.

Perhaps they'll come around with time. Good for ye for cleaning up yr act! G'luck w/ everything.

thank you

What are some permanent effects you have because of it?

I can't stop twitching some times.lol My friends find it funny and annoying.

Thanks for posting. A couple questions: 1. Is Catherine available?
2. Do you have any larger photos of her?

Her boyfriend is John and they live together, but I can put in a good word for you.

Have you ever seen the movie "The Salton Sea"? How realistic is its portrayal of the meth culture?

Very and yes

Thanks for doing this. My little sister (she is 30 I am 31) is currently locked up for a theft charge because she was stealing to supply her meth habbit. She did 18 months in jail about 6 years ago and started using again about 2 years ago. She has a 4 yr old daughter that our parents now watch and has burned about every bridge with every family member she possibly can.

She is a very smart woman, and has taken this path in life and it kills my family. What or how can we get through to her or help her? I know she has to want to change and fix herself but is there a trigger we can use to help wake her up?

Congrats on getting clean and doing the right thing.

Just don't enable her and offer help if she wants it.

She has more charges coming her way so she will be locked up for the next few years. After that I hope she keeps straight.

She should go to meetings , get a sponsor, work 12 steps and help others.

Have you come to any conclusions as of why you started?

Do you feel that people are viewing and /or treating you differently now that you are sober?

How do you think that people should approach an addict (ie tough love and such)?

Awesome of you!

Have another addict that's recovered talk to them.

What is your stance on drug legalization and do you believe marijuana is a gateway to harder drugs?

No , I think weed should be legal. Not everyone is an addict. 1 in 7 are.

You watch Breaking Bad?

yes

How long have you been sober now? AA or NA mostly?

A.A clean date 4-1-11

Fuck yeah dude congrats. mine's 11-2-06 . You ever do any conferences?

I haven't been asked to yet but I speak at a lot of meetings.

What was your AFSC? Do you feel it was a factor in your future drug use?

(kudos for kicking, btw)

My job was aircraft structural maintenance, I honestly have no idea what my code was. My memory isn't that great.

I still think Pam killed you in France!!!! Did she?

like a whore

I'm glad your doing much better and I'm putting on LA Woman to listen to now

roadhouse blues live version is probably my favorite

My fiancee's former brother in-law was a good guy who turned to meth himself - it was given to him at work and things went downhill from there... what made you try it?

curiosity mainly.

Did you ever have bees in your teeth?

no

The first moment you realized you were addicted?

When I said to myself while I was high" Why can't I feel like this all the time".

does this girl remind you of yourself? https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=xQ4hfTA39Yo

yes,lol

As someone who has seen the dark side of drug use, and is now helping others to overcome their addictions, what are your thoughts on medicinal, and recreational marijuana? As always everything in moderation, but I'd be interested to get your opinion on recreational usage.

Only 1 out of 7 people are said to be addicts. I got high with people who could just use for a night then show up for work on monday... not me. I also think pot should be legal. I just can't smoke it.

Did you eat 10lbs of chocolate everyday after you quit? I sure as hell did.

It was starburst flavreds

Did you do any other drugs besides meth? My 18 yr old daughter is on a downward spiral--she does pills, cocaine, pot--is meth next? I'm terrified for her, but she doesn't want help...yet. She steals from Wal Mart and often gets caught to supply her habit. What can a parent do to help without enabling her?

Oh Yeah, You can go to Al-Anon meetings to find out what to do.

Hey there! Fellow recovering addict myself. What an amazing life we get to live. Never Did I Think I would be following my dreams. Now for the questions. Do you attend 12 step meetings to maintain sobriety? If not what keeps you going?

I'm very active in A.A I help many guys thru the 12 steps.

As a recovering opiate addict I love stories about someone able to fight through the cravings and pain that goes along with kicking the habit. Detox is awful from opiates and I am sure they are from meth as well. Congrats! And don't give into that shit "relapse is part of recovery". It does not ever have to be!!!

agree 100%

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I work for a rehab, getting people in.

Can you explain what your health was like while trying to quit? My father was addicted to meth for a little over 15 years, and he was unable to get out of bed for at least three days (after sleeping for almost a solid 3 days), and then could barely even move without help.

Also, congratulations on getting sober.

Same here. I would sleep for dayings.

Does meth taste like chicken?

tastes like a 9 volt battery

Do you still have that amazing hat from the arrest photo?

Edit: BTW, thanks for all the Karma I scored from your pics yesterday, I think I will trade it in for an Angry birds plush, or maybe a deck of flinstones playing cards.

I wish I did. I have no idea where that thing is. And I have no idea what you're talking about in the 2nd part.

it seems it's always the best hats that we can't hold on to.

It was my Dad's hat. As ironic as it is he was a narcotics agent. I thought i was being cute wearing that.

ahh, a disguise.

I never thought they would notice

How badly do you want to do meth right now?

if there were no consequences at all and my life stayed exactly the same I would do it in a heartbeat it feels great. But sadly thats not the case, when i use meth I lose everything, everything i've worked so hard to earn over the past 2 years.

So, like a 4/10?

1/10. the though comes here and there but it's gone as soon as it came. It's not worth it.

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i like my if's. it keeps it real. I need to know im not invincible

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I used drugs because I loved them. They felt great that why I did them everyday. But obviously if there were no consequences I would do it. I would eat 100lbs of bacon if I didn't get full and get really fat. I stopped because I didn't like where my life had gone, it was terrible. Anyone in sobriety is a liar and needs to fall off their high horse if they say they wouldn't use or drink again if nothing bad would come from it.

sobriety is overrated. Then again all I ever do is smoke weed

It's my choice to be in sobriety , I love it. If I could smoke weed like a normal person trust me I would, but I can't. I would be shooting meth and heroin in a month.