I'm 22, I lived with him on and off until I was 8 which happened to be they same time frame he was committing his crimes. The last time I saw him in person was in 2002. I still keep in contact with him. Pretty much everything about him is public record so if i need more proof let me know.

proof: http://imgur.com/a/lqSbH

Correct public record link: http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/Colorado/Boulder-County-CO/Keith-A-Schwinaman.4459165/details/

I enjoyed answering most of these questions thank you guys !

Comments: 398 • Responses: 63  • Date: 

Giygas7171 karma

Not to be offensive but are you the product of one of his crimes?

xbbetterx345 karma

No. This is probably the most common question of my life.

ActionFilmsFan199550 karma

Do you have siblings because of his crimes?

xbbetterx61 karma

Not that I know of.

I_hate_whales33 karma

I'm trying to imagine a scenario where this is even possible. "I think I'll find that man who raped me and give him my baby!"

Giygas724 karma

Did she say that the father had custody?

xbbetterx41 karma

He ended up getting joint custody which eventually just became visitation, and he eventually lost that and a no contact order was put in place for me and my mom.

Giygas720 karma

How long ago was he convicted? Surely he did time?

xbbetterx45 karma

He was convicted in 2003. He was in and out of jail my entire life. I was actually born in Idaho when there car while my parents were on there way to Washington so my mom could go to school and he could avoid going back to jail on a bench warrant. He was arrested for a lot of things prior to the rape charges mostly for stealing and some other things I am not to clear on and a lot of parole violation arrests.

owned_at_worms76 karma

Do you have family get togethers? What are they like? Why do you still keep in contact? Not judging, just curious on the last question.

xbbetterx93 karma

We don't have family get togethers Ive never really met any of his family, my mom left him when I was really little and began fighting for custody. To answer the last question he writes to me. I replied to the first few letters and then stopped but his kept coming.

owned_at_worms46 karma

Did your mom have a sit down with you? Did she say something along the lines of "I knew it" or have any experiences where she felt like she though he might be the one that was committing the crimes?

xbbetterx70 karma

We've talked about it a few times, she can see it in hindsight but never would have guessed he would do something that disturbing at the time it was going on.

MasterSprtn11744 karma

What's your reason for not replying? Do you just feel that it's not worth your time?

xbbetterx74 karma

I didn't care enough to take the time to sit down and write anything to him. He also began to tell me things that had happened between him and my mom trying to make her look bad but I had already lived threw it I didn't need to respond to his side of the story.

dputgr1174 karma

How were your dad's crimes explained to you or where you not told at a young age?

xbbetterx108 karma

I wasn't actually told. I found out from a magazine when I was 12, a year after he had been charged. He had been in prison when they linked him to the rapes threw DNA collected when he was in imprisoned. since he was already locked up for violating parole my mom just never told me.

guywithtnt58 karma

Holy shit.

What was that like, finding out at age 12 from a magazine?

xbbetterx123 karma

The best way I can describe it is surreal and kind of nauseating.

agemma58 karma

Was he a suspect in Ramsey's murder?

xbbetterx67 karma

He was briefly.

RedRobin1353 karma

child abuser too?

xbbetterx104 karma

From what I remember he raped a 15-17yr old runaway. So child abuser.

p-savage36 karma

i think he meant 'did he abuse you?'

xbbetterx85 karma

For some reason I thought I already answered that question guess I didn't. No he never abused me.

arianadebreuil51 karma

Have you had trouble trusting men in your life now? A boyfriend etc?

xbbetterx71 karma

Yes I am not sure if I can place all the blame on my dad though.

AshuraSpeakman29 karma

If it's not too personal, where else would you put the blame?

xbbetterx49 karma

On my entire life I don't think I could pin point any one thing that's happened. My ability to trust people has improved drastically over the past few years though but its something I've worked hard to achieve.

AshuraSpeakman27 karma

Well, that's good. I hope your life continues to get better. :)

xbbetterx53 karma

Why thank you. Hope you have a happy life as well!

Darth-Jesus42 karma

do you think you can ever forgive him

xbbetterx90 karma

No even if I thought I could I wouldn't want to.

Slasher740 karma

I once met a guy who was the son of a convicted serial killer. He told me that people used to come all the time to him and say things like "They should do to you what your father did to those poor victims." Has anything like that ever happened to you?

xbbetterx37 karma

No thankfully I moved to a different state the same year. I would have been an entirely different person if I had been forced to endure something like that.

Slasher77 karma

And when you moved, did any of your classmates in your new school found out about your father and revealed that information? Also, have you told who your father is to the important people of your life, like your best friend, or your SO? How did they react? Thanks for doing this AMA, by the way.

xbbetterx26 karma

Nobody found out once I moved I have my moms last name and was also going by a different first name at school ( my first names Alex I never liked it very much ) my SO knows and a few of my friends know. People first reaction is always silence followed by "oh" and then just normal question pretty much along the lines of most of these AmA questions. I enjoy answering these questions I don't normal talk about it. :)

CorruptedMinds37 karma

Do you still love him?

xbbetterx78 karma

I honestly don't know.

HerroDair10 karma

It must be difficult, but I could never find a bone in my body to love a man who's done what he has.

xbbetterx84 karma

To me hes two different people. half my life he was this great guy I was young and he was my dad and gave me everything I ever wanted (granted he stole everything he ever gave me). Then there's the other side. Sometimes its hard to mesh them into the same person in my head.

notmyusualscreenname13 karma


xbbetterx23 karma

Not really it probably would be weird if I still had any of the stuff but I got rid of it or lost it moving over time.

notmyusualscreenname14 karma


xbbetterx21 karma

Ahh I get it. No not weird I knew he loved me but didn't have the mean to buy me nice things but he got them for me anyway. I was also a kid so my views on stealing were a little bit different. I've never thought about it like that before, interesting question.

DoctorDOH7 karma

Can you elaborate on what he stole from you?

xbbetterx61 karma

One I remember is we went to Target and I wanted a really big teddy bear, like 3-4ft teddy bear, so he stuffed it in a trash can box and bought the trash can then put the teddy bear in the car and went inside and returned the trash can.

rade77553 karma

He stole things to give to her, not stole from her

xbbetterx29 karma

Correct. I probably could have worded that differently.

chipkoekjes34 karma

How did he treat your mother? How did they get to know each other?

xbbetterx63 karma

I don't think Ive ever asked how they met, I will do that later. He treated her really well until she got tired of dealing with all his other illegal activities. I remember him stalking us when she started dating someone else and he would come by and throw rocks threw our windows. He would show up anywhere he could find us trying to get her to go back to him or trying to take me from her.

thrownawaytoday0728 karma

Do you personally know any of the victims or their family? If so, do they treat you poorly?

xbbetterx33 karma

I don't.

Catness_NeverClean28 karma

I know this is off topic, but still a question I'd like to ask. You said in a previous post you went to school with Jonbenet Ramsey. Could you elaborate on how her murder affected you and your family?

xbbetterx76 karma

I was only 5 so I don't remember much about her, I do remember my parents an all my friends parents wouldn't let us go anywhere for months except school and home. I didn't really understand the concept of death yet so it didn't start to affect me till I was older. Our class planted a tree in her memory and I remember everyone standing outside being confused whi8le our teacher cried for a long time. A drunk driver ran over the tree when I was in 3rd grade and that's when I started to really realize she had died and everyone had stopped talking about her and and people had mostly forgotten. Sorry for the run on.

iaro19 karma

Wow that just got more and more sad, almost comically. :-/

xbbetterx96 karma

I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you sad that's just how I remember it.

Random: If it makes you happy I just watched the news about a bunch of fuzzy baby owl get rescued after falling out of a tree. People built a nest out of a laundry basket and put them back and now the babies are with there parents :)

nsgafc22 karma

Did he explain to you why he did it?

xbbetterx42 karma

Hes tried. All excuses on how he was treated badly as a kid. his mother never loved him. Ive got a lot of letters and they all say different things on why.

destructo_20 karma

Can you describe the day he was caught?

xbbetterx52 karma

The day he was caught no, the day I found out however I was at Safeway getting candy with a few of my friends, we were reading a magazine about Jonbenet Ramsey and there were a few names of people they were looking at who had been charged with other crimes in the area and my dads name was in there. So I started looking online and found out hes a sick disgusting person.

destructo_12 karma

Did people in your community find out? Did they start treating you differently?

xbbetterx28 karma

My mom finally got full custody of me when the DNA linked him to the rapes, she moved me out of the state the same year i had a few friends from boulder call and ask me about it, but that was pretty much the extent of it.

artegos20 karma

has he ever expressed remorse to you for what he's done? if so, does it just seem manipulative and self-serving? Also, how many victims are verified to consider him a "serial" rapist?

xbbetterx36 karma

Hes currently serving his sentence for 4 different women. My Grandparents who follow everything hes every done, Told me hes been court for 13 different women and won a lot of them to victims not testifying it was him. Ive he told me he was only tried in 8 cases. So I am not %100 sure how many women he victimized

Splashathon19 karma

Are there any other kids that were produced as a result of his crime, and if so, do you know them?

xbbetterx25 karma

This is the first time Ive even thought about that. So I don't know.

33koala18 karma



This might be an insensitive question, but how has this affected your romantic relationships?

xbbetterx31 karma

I know it probably affected everything in my life but i would be able to pinpoint how or why. I am in a very happy healthy relationship now and have been for a while so I don't think it had to many negative affects.

Ded009917 karma

where is he incarcerated? sidenote: i live in Golden colorado

xbbetterx36 karma

Colorado Territorial Correctional Facility in Canon City if I am remembering correct. You just made me miss Colorado I moved to California about 10 years ago. Go find some snow and send it to me.

Ded009921 karma

How convenient it just snowed 8 inches here, ill FedEx it to ya! thanks for answering my question! :)

xbbetterx17 karma

You are so lucky! Ive seen 5inches in 10 years and had to drive 4 hours to see it

iMacCarthy16 karma

What are your grandparents (his parents) like? Often such mental illness comes from some place. Do you know if your father was beaten, abused, etc. as a child from his parents, coaches, teachers, somebody?

xbbetterx44 karma

He was born due to his mother being raped or at least that's the story his family goes with. I have spoken to his mother his brother and his sister. They all seem entirely scary and mentally unstable. I am sure he was abused in many ways as a child but ill never know to what extent. mostly because I don't care to know and I don't think he should use it as an excuse

eat-KFC-all-day12 karma

Do you believe your dad was guilty?

xbbetterx19 karma

He plead guilty and has never to my knowledge said he didn't do it.

sstugatz10 karma

Do you remember a time where he was nice to your mom and they got along good?

xbbetterx8 karma

I can't. I can barely remember a time they were in the same place for longer than 20 mins together. Even still my mom face shows how she feels pretty well and I could always tell she was never happy or comfortable being around him.

2Grit10 karma

What exactly did he do? Im having trouble reading the picture

xbbetterx28 karma

He would break into women apartments threw sliding glass doors, tie them up, rape them, and rob them at knife point. Pretty much sums it up

Ginger-spice10 karma

Did you know any of the victims? You said one case was a teenage runaway so were the crimes more of an opportunity arose and he would act on it or were they planned?

xbbetterx15 karma

I don't know any of the victims I know who some of them are but have never tried to contact them. In the beginning they seemed to just be by opportunity but when he started breaking in and bringing things like rope and tape and a knife I don't think they became a little bit more planned and thought out.

dericknoetzel10 karma

Do you recall the time frame and how it affected him at home/around the house? Or do others in your household, like a mom or other close individual?

xbbetterx17 karma

I recall some of the time frame pretty well, My mom was always very suspicious of him. Its probably said to often of criminals but, everyone liked my dad he was incredibly good at telling lies and manipulating any situation to make him look like the best person in the world.

Mister_Wu8889 karma

How is your mother handling all this ?

what is your relationship like with her ?

xbbetterx26 karma

Me and my mom have an amazing relationship now it wasnt always that way but now its really great. It was a lot harder for her to handle things having to do with him before anyone knew he was out raping people. I think a lot of it was because pretty much everyone lipoved him and nobody could understand why she was fighting to have full custody of me, even the judges loved him nobody could see past his fake smile. Everyone thought she was the bad guy trying to ruin his life.

Grindstone50k3 karma

How integral was she in the trials that convicted him?

xbbetterx2 karma

I don't remember her being involved in any of them.

xythrowawayy8 karma

In your first post, you say you still keep in contact with him, but in one of your answers you say you stopped replying to his letters.

Do you have any contact with him still? Do you ever visit him? Does he try to apologize to you for the things he did?

xbbetterx14 karma

I guess it would be better put as he still keeps in contact with me, I still read the letters and think about writing him back but they only thing left to tell him are about how happy I am with my life. Id rather let him sit in jail feeling guilty because he believes he ruined my life and that i spent my childhood angry and missing him. He has apologized many times in his letters but I don't believe you can apologize for something like that and be forgiven. I doubt I would ever visit him.

TheAutolatryGiraffe7 karma

Do you normally tell people? Boyfriends? Does it make people nervous to be around you?

xbbetterx50 karma

People close to me know I don't tend to bring it up very often though. Though I have been known to use it to shut someone up who wont stop complaining about there family. Having someone blank face tell you "my dads a serial rapist" does have good shock value.

iSore217 karma

Have you been to a therapist? If so, what was discussed?

xbbetterx23 karma

I have I had a really bad panic anxiety as a kid that still lasts to this day. I saw multiple therapists and psychiatrists when I was 5-15yr. Some helped a little some made things worse they all put me on crazy mood stabilizer drugs. Everything was discussed, once a week I would go in they would talk about every bad thing that was currently happening in my life and I would leave upset. I eventually stopped going and taking medication and it was one of the best decisions Ive ever made. Anyone I know would tell you I am much happier and a lot more stable dealing with everything my own way and not being forced to talk about it.

xbbetterx23 karma

Therapy does however help A LOT of people it helped my mom threw all of the bad stuff it just didn't work well for me.

VestaDear9 karma

Thank you for concluding with this reply. For many years I had negative feelings about therapy, but finally going when I myself wanted to go and no one was making me because I knew I had a problem with my anxiety was the best decision I ever made.

xbbetterx4 karma

therapy when your doing it for yourself and no one else is the only way Ive ever seen it work. Its can drastically improve someones life. I am glad it worked for you :)

jcash217 karma

I apologize if this has already been answered - almost late for work! I'm curious if he strikes you as a sociopath. While all serial rapists certainly aren't sociopaths it could be argued that very large portion are. Also, if so, what in particular brought you to that conclusion?

xbbetterx14 karma

Possibly my mom thinks everyone in his family is a sociopath. At the very least I think he has some sort of antisocial personality disorder.

Zven_Kruspe7 karma

How long is his sentence?

xbbetterx3 karma

release date is 2032. his parole keeps getting pushed farther and farther back so I am guessing he will be in till his release date.

ActionFilmsFan19957 karma

Wait, why was the AMA removed?

xbbetterx9 karma

i dont know im confused

womangirl6 karma

From what I understand, you weren't aware of his crimes at the time your mother was fighting for full custody of you. Were you angry or resentful towards her at that point? Has your mother been able to heal successfully from the emotional trauma that she went through?

xbbetterx11 karma

In guess i was angry its hard to say. I was always excited to see him when I was younger but I don't remember blaming my mom very much for him not being around a lot. As for my mom she had a really hard time with everything on top of trying to support me and go to school at the same time but I think shes a stronger person now because of it.

whichdoorisengland5 karma


xbbetterx22 karma

They were never married.

cheesey245 karma

Do people treat YOU differently if they know about your father? Or do not many people know?

xbbetterx9 karma

Not many people know only close friends who have known me long enough that they don't treat me differently. I've only gone into detail about him to maybe 2 people,my best friend and boyfriend of almost 7 years.

magnus_max4 karma

Is he very charismatic?

xbbetterx3 karma


stunash014 karma

do you support the death penalty and if your father got it would you feel he deserved it? i know this is a heavy question so if your not comfortable answering just ignore it. :/

xbbetterx3 karma

I do and I don't. I am not sure how to explain it though :(

nightmarelover3 karma

Who was/is more scared of your father. Your mom or yourself?

xbbetterx2 karma

My mom but I wouldn't really say she scared of him. It helps that his release date isn't until 2032 though.

MackswellSinBad3 karma

When was the last time you saw him? Would you forgive him with enough time?

xbbetterx8 karma

In 2002

Autodidact23 karma

How did you come to be living with him?

Knowing him as you do, can you detect any connection between his daily, "front" personality and his crimes?

xbbetterx3 karma

He was really good at getting people to like him including the judges in all my custody cases.

Rappcat3 karma

Would you say that your life right now is normal? What do you do?

xbbetterx3 karma

As normal as it could be I'm happy I have people around me who love me and I have a job at a non profit organization that's makes me happy. So I'd say its pretty normal.

thewaffler2 karma

How does having a father convicted of rape affect your views on rape culture, if at all?

xbbetterx3 karma

If anything it makes me hate rapists even more and anyone who sides with them. Most people think only one person gets hurt in a rape but that's untrue it eats at everyone around them.

RatedA2 karma


xbbetterx3 karma

A long time ago I realized he's my dad but that I would never want him to be more than letters he wrote to me. I wouldn't be able to believe he had changed.