I fire people for a living, ask me anything

Do you receive help and support from HR? Do you find it emotionally draining?

I remember my mother having to fire about 99 people without training, she came home crying almost every night. (plot twist, they told her 100 people were being fired, made her do the dirty work then fired her as the 100th.)

Wow, that's really sad your mom can sue the company for its behavior , i have fired more than a hundred i guess but i am strong that way, and the first kill is always the hardest

She did, but had to take a very reduced settlement otherwise they wouldn't give her references. She's not even allowed to talk about what happened there.

Do HR offer you support though? Or do you just have to do it and deal with the tears?

No HR is practically nonfunctional with us.

I can't help but imagine you as Dale Gribble working for Stik Tek. How accurate is this?

Very

I'm going to assume that given how much you do this, the other employees know.

Do you find that they distance themselves from you?

Yes, they have mini heart attacks if i talk to them on Friday afternoon (firing day)

Has anyone tried to kill you after being fired?

I once was attacked by a chair, but no death threats

Have you ever had to fire a friend or someone you were close to is some way?

Yes, i had to fire my cousin who i gave the job to in the first place, it was really awkward

What is the weirdest reason you ever had to fire someone for?

We don't fire for weird reasons, i had people complaining about an employee's farts, so i talked to him but didn't fire him, i guess that's the weirdest situation i had to handle

Can I PM you my resume, so you can help get me a job at your company?

If you have an experience in accounting or ready to do manual labor, send it.

Will you then fire me?

yes if i ever see you on reddit in business hours

Thankfully you're not my boss. But it's a good thing YOU'RE on reddit. Seems a bit hypocritical.

Different time zone, it's 6pm here

Whats the best bribe offer you recieved to let someone keep their job?

No one has tried to bribe me because the decision comes from higher authority and i make that clear, but some people started crying and eventhoug you can't do anything you feel really bad

Ever encountered a situation where you were going to fire someone, but eventually didn't?

In many cases i wish i had the power not to especially with women crying, can't do it. I can take action before the decision is made and sometimes put in a good word about the particular employee who is in danger

I really couldn't be in your position, I'm just too empathetic for a job like that.

So tell me, what's your funniest story?

One guy tried to "curse" me like with magic, he said that my hair will fall out, he was right i am balding

When i fire people i give them the reasons so they fully understand and it would calm their nerves knowing the reasons. Once we fired a guy who was taking days off without consulting us because he was too lazy to keep with a schedule, so i listed the days he took off, we started with the first day he said "my grandmother died" the second day"my grandfather died" it was really funny, he killed 6 people hypothetically in 15 minutes, and when i told him i was gonna check on that he gave me a smile and got out of the room

At what point in the firing process do you get involved? Surely you're not the first person to tell the person they're fired? If you are, why are the managers at your company such pussies?

The manager is a manager he doesn't get his hand dirty, if i was a manager then i would have the power to make someone else do the hard work.

What was the most ridiculous/weirdest reason someone had to be fired for? Are you the only one in the company who does this? Do you enjoy it most of the time or would you rather give up this responsibility but don't have the choice?

I would give it up in a second so that people at work can feel comfortable talking to me, i'm the "firing guy" even though i don't make the decisions

Do you feel bad about some of the people you are firing? Do you think about them after it has been done?

Everyone bounces back, i weirdly feel bad for people who don't express their emotions in the firing process, if you yell at me or try to punch me then i lose feeling

Worst reaction from someone who has been given the bad news?

One guy lifted a chair but never hit me. One guy threw a punch at ,me moved my face, so he got my shoulder

How would you go about firing yourself?

I would never be fired. Firing all these people gave me an outside look on the reasons people get fired so i can safely say i wont be fired, i would lose my job if the company goes bankrupt.