IAm Dennis Miller, comedian and political talk show host. AMA.

Hey Dennis, sincere thanks for doing this AMA!

Now, I don't want to go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antietam. I mean, when a neoconservative defenestrates it's like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate. Your thoughts?

Duh!

Do you like jon lovitz ?

Yes, I love Jon, like a brother. His genius revels itself to you in stages. I remember the first night, he guested on weekend update as Tommy Flanagan, the pathological liar. At dress rehearsal, I introduced him as Tommy Flanagan, and I used a short a in the second syllable of Flanagan when i did it. He grabbed me in between dress and air and said his name is Tommy Flanagan, long a in the second syllable. Don't you see Dennis, he is such a liar he can't even pronounce Flanagan the right way. That's when I first began to think he is brilliant.

How much input did you have on what jokes you told when you were host of the Weekend Update? Was it mostly you or writers? Also, and I know that is always asked, but what (or who) inspired you to be a comedian?

For the first 3 shows at Saturday Night Live, I had no say. I wrote some jokes, but since I was a newbie, Senator Al Franken, who was my boss, picked the jokes. But then, around 3 shows in, they had a whole bunch of leaks in the dyke and they left me alone out of necessity. I would say for the rest of my career there. One other many, the great Herb Sargent wrote almost all of update, except of course the guest characters. All the guests wrote their own pieces. BTW, I never thought I would hear myself say Senator Al Franken out loud.

Can you explain your jokes? All of them.

No and thus for better or worse, my career.

What was one of your favorite SNL moments?

When my friend Tom Hanks, Dana Carvey and I sang Jingle Bells in Dennis Miller triplicate. To see those two in the bad mullet wigs made me laugh hard.

Thank you all for your time and good night now as my radio show comes on early.

Where's Joe Dirt 2?

I hear it might be made into an animated series. Its the only thing I have every done that my kids have seen.

What can a comedian do to make themselves easy to work with? What makes people say, "I want to work with him again."?

Well to be honest, stand up comedy is pretty cut and dry. If you are funny enough, you can be a prick and if you are not funny enough, no degree of sainthood is going to save you.

Who are your three favorite comedians and what are your three favorite movies?

My 3 favorite comedians are, Richard Prior, Jerry Seinfeld and Brian Regan. My 3 favorite movies are Lawrence of Arabia, Quiz Show and Brian Regan.

Mr. Miller, long time fan. I was just wondering when you, Spade and Lovitz where gonna do another comedy tour?

When Spade gets less funny than me and Lovitz gets more funny than me.

Is it okay that I think of you and pool everytime I hear "Everybody Wants To Rule The World?"

Not to mention a pool room scene I did in my magnum opus "Bordello of Blood". By the way, every time I use that song, it costs $3000. I think I fed Tears for Fears for around a decade.

Which political or economics commentators do you respect most?

Charles Krauthammer, Victor David Hansen, Mark Steyn and Jon Stewart.

Hi Dennis, really want to know if we could ever have a VIABLE third party. It seems like we really need one after the last election failure...and to break the stronghold between the two parties. Your thoughts?

I do think we need a 3rd party and if they form one, I would name it the Republicans.

Holy shit, Dennis fucking Miller! You were the best anchor on SNL, Dennis. The best. I don't have cable, so I have no clue what you've been doing lately, so uh, what are you doing lately? Also, I need a book to read. Can you recommend me a book to read? I want to be reading a book, and have someone ask me why I'm reading it, and be able able to say "because Dennis Miller personally recommended I read this."

I am reading Moby Dick and it is cool. What am I doing now a days, I am an apprentice harpooner.

How do you feel about your time on Monday Night Football?

I enjoyed my two years there, but I knew as soon as John Madden left Fox, Foutz and I were dead. Makes sense, if I am ever in LA on any given night and I want to jump up at the Improv and do standup and Madden is on stage, they better haul him off too.

How much fun was it to host the young comedians special with Schneider, Spade, and the rest? Still one one of the funniest specials I have seen. Thanks.

Well, when you think back on that roster. Drake Sather was a brilliant guy who died young. Schneider is a great stand up. Spade one of the funniest men in the world and Jan Karam had a nice set. I look back and feel honored that I got to host it.

Being both comedian and talk show host, what do you prefer?

Comedian. You know Seinfeld told me once that he thought of his best ever sitcom as a departure from his real job of stand up comedian. Its my favorite too because it is the hardest to do.

Never too early to ask. Who do you want to see run in 2016?

It's too early to ask, but I have a prediction. I think Chris Christy will run as a democrat, be elected and a film will be made about him called "Mr. Smith and Wollensky goes to Washington"

Who was the worst host you had to deal with on SNL?

I won't say worst, but the most nervous I saw was Harry Dean Stanton.

Is there still someone famous you haven't met but would like to?

Yes, but I probably haven't heard of them yet.

Will Mansquito be in 3-D?

Having some rights issues with Mansquito and a duplicate squito in Asia. I will keep you posted.

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I have always been a pragmatist. I am socially liberal, fiscally conservative and I like our guys to kill there guys before their guys kill our guys first.

What's your favorite kind of tattoo, the dragon or the the yin-yang? #230PST

A dragon blowing it out his yin-yang.

What's the gestation period of an elephant? #230PST

If they are lactose intolerant. Very brief, about a day and a half.

Hey Dennis, how was filming for Primetime Glick with Martin Short? You were beyond hysterical on it. #230PST

Marty's one of my best friends, but he is in the Glick character, you can't even get him to acknowledge that he knows you. So it is like your best friend is sweating profusely in a rubber body suit, his actual eyes set back 4 inches from the prosthetic. Not even hinting that he knows you. In short it is really weird.

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Where?

What's Sarah Palin like in person? #230PST

Smaller than you would think. Funnier than you would think and hipper than you would think. Her old man seems like a great guy too.

Have you ever skated longboard? #230PST

I was on my son's skateboard once. For about 1 and a half seconds. It shot out from under me, I fell on an acorn in my driveway and put a hairline fracture in one of my right ribs. That event has kept me from getting to the longboard.