Comments: 1903 • Responses: 38  • Date: 

Ooer1190 karma

Removed until OP can provide proof either in the body of their text or to the mods (dear god why).

stahlgrau940 karma

I'm going to send it directly to you. But first I am going to get super hard, just on account this is a ridiculous requirement.

All the posts were legit. Does context mean nothing to you? I guess they don't pay you to think.

Ooer1099 karma

They don't pay me at all. :(

All Ama posts require proof in order for the subreddit's integrity to remain intact. Sometimes the rules appear silly within certain areas, but no post is exempt.

stahlgrau1190 karma

OK. Dude. I tried to get it up but it's hard to shoot your own erection on a smart phone. Would you mind operating the camera?

Anyway, here is my majestic flaccid cock. NSFW

CJ_Guns433 karma

The only time I've upvoted a penis on Reddit.

stahlgrau293 karma

My mojo thanks you.

MyWearyPenis505 karma

Should I laser my ass hole?

stahlgrau1033 karma

If you spread 'em, she'll zap it.

ChitzonDiques426 karma

Lasering everything that is normally covered by my boxers is top 5 on my list of post-grad, real-salary purchases.

Every time I trim/shave my butthole, happiness of me and everyone around me goes up 62%

stahlgrau644 karma

The pep it puts in your step is worth twice what you'll pay.

xMIASMAx273 karma

Where did you go? I really want smooth balls.

xMIASMAx30 karma

Now i need to get back to California.

stahlgrau35 karma

I'm sure they have Laser Hair Removal where you live. Try Yelp or Google.

NoDiggityNoDoubt230 karma

Funny I was just looking into this treatment, as my girlfriend has had this done all over, and her silky smoothness is awesome... my ball itchiness, not so much.

No questions, just thank you.

stahlgrau278 karma

I used to be a little monkey. Now I look human. Good luck to you.

joemill213 karma

Did it hurt?

stahlgrau367 karma

Pain is relative to the amount of nerve endings. The middle back killed. Shoulder not much. Scrotum essentially painless.

Freya-Freed214 karma

Does it really not hurt on the scrotum? This surprises me. I'm a transgender woman and I've had laser to remove my facial hair. It HURT like hell. I'm going to have to get the scrotum done in preparation of surgery and it seems really terrifying to have that kind of pain inflicted in that area. I totally hope that you are right and it doesn't hurt.

Please be right....

Tipsy_Economist240 karma


stahlgrau76 karma

One thing to understand is that the vast majority of transgender people maintain their original plumbing. Full transitions are quite rare. It's called SRS (sex reassignment surgery). Post-op Transgender is what you'd call someone who's had the surgery.

stahlgrau161 karma

The more nerve endings, the more pain. My middle back killed so bad. Call that a 10. My shoulders were a 6. Pubic area a 3. Scrotum a zero.

Pinch your sack. Press real hard. Doesn't hurt, does it?

If they zap your nuts, it will hurt but they move them out of the way.

Freya-Freed72 karma

Hmmm. You're right, it doesn't hurt that much. I'm probably going to have to have a large part of that area done though. I have some hair going on the shaft of the penis. Which is a lot more sensitive :(.

On the other hand. The alternative if I don't remove the hairs is that hair grows inside my vagina after the surgery and I get nasty infections.

stahlgrau44 karma

If the hair is near the base of the shaft it won't be that bad. I had some at the base and maybe an inch up.

eliseo20913 karma

I read that you lasered your taint too?! How was that on the pain scale?

stahlgrau24 karma

Back on the lats part was a 10. Shoulders were a 6. Taint was a 3. Scrotum a one or zero. Comparatively speaking, waxing my back was a 30. The magnitude of pain is incredible. With laser it's like getting snapped with a postal rubber band. Not severe. Quick sting and it's gone.

joemill73 karma

Thanks. How often do you have to do it to keep the hair away?

stahlgrau160 karma

They quote between 5 and 8 treatment for an area. The laser works best on light skin and dark hair. I have that so it was super effective for me.

Laser can not "see" the blond, grey, ginger or baby fine hairs. It has to be dark hair.

i_dont_translate385 karma

Ball laser is super effective!

stahlgrau102 karma

Anywhere there is dark hair there doesn't have to be.

ComatoseLancer152 karma

He was making a Pokémon reference.

stahlgrau771 karma

I'm 43. Missed that craze. Was in college and drunk.

colak193 karma

How awkward is the procedure? I imagine it can get odd if you get a boner? You said you got taint, why not butt as well? Or is that not recommended? I've heard that hair helps with friction on the bum.

stahlgrau140 karma

My ass wasn't hairy to start. If it was, I would have.

No way you are going to sport wood in that environment. It's cold in there. There is a slight discomfort to the procedure. Anxiety waiting for the zap and wondering if it is going to hurt.

You can laser off any dark hair. Doesn't matter where it is.

papadopolis87 karma

for other males that deal with shaving would you suggest lasing to them?

was there any risks in the procedure?

cost of said procedure and how long until the treatment was done?

stahlgrau205 karma

I will laser off any hair I don't want to shave. I like to mess around with my facial hair so I wouldn't do that. If waxing hurts a 10, Laser is a 1 or 2. It's worth it to me. Hated itchy balls from shaving.

No risk. FDA cleared procedure administered by an RN.

Total Bikini area can be done over an eight month span for a total cost of $300ish. You go every 4-8 weeks depending on your results.

Smellzlikefish49 karma

What if we don't wear bikinis?

stahlgrau254 karma

Well then you don't get the Super Special Sexy Discount. Are you a man or are a mouse?

Schizophrenics69 karma

Since all of the questions I've read are somewhat nonsensical, I'll try my best to ask some good ones. Of course, I haven't read it all, so I'm sorry if these have been asked.

  1. You said it didn't hurt. As most men know, the taint area and sack area takes a little bit to be accustomed to the lack of hair. Have you noticed any irritation of the general area that you had zapped?

  2. I'm unfamiliar with the operation, but does the hair grow back eventually? Maybe I should look into this more. I want to be all nice and smooth, but I'm gonna pick some select areas first as far as the zapping goes. I'd like to try this. My dick isn't as big, so I think I'd be shy about the whole lady zapping the balls.

  3. Any advice? What is something you would say to someone who has never done this and is slightly nervous? It seems the payoff is great, I'd just like to hear what you think.

  4. Final question. Are you happy with it? Is there anything you wish you would have left hairy or?

Thanks for the AMA!! I'm interested to hear your thoughts good sir.

stahlgrau12 karma

  1. It's more sensitive and less sweaty.

  2. It's Permanent Hair Reduction. Results vary. The nurse doesn't care about your dick. It's her job. Also, it's gonna look bigger anyway because you have to show up shaved.

  3. Beauty is pain. Pain is temporary. I don't know what to say to motivate you. I'm not a college football coach.

  4. I'm stoked with the results. Better than what I expected.

alicia223757 karma

So... While you're still in the process of having this done, does the hair grow in more fine and then just stop growing in all together? I'm assuming the laser kills the root of the hair, yes?

stahlgrau199 karma

You go in shaved for the area you want to do. It zaps the root. Over the next week or two the subcutaneous hair pierces the surface and it is your job to loofah it out in the shower and hard towel rub it as you dry off.

You want to help extract the hair so you don't get it ingrown.

Now then, hair has 4 growth cycles. You will pull all the hairs out as they surface but only the hairs in the last growth phase will say gone. So after your first treatment 20-25% is permanently gone.

You can see how you need to space the treatments so you can zap each and every hair in it's final stage. It might take 5 treatments, it might take 8 or 10. Just depends the phase it's in and when you attack it.

Eventually all that will remain are the baby fine hairs, blond ones, ginger and grey. Those are the hues the laser has no effect on. Dark hair, light skin achieves the best results.

alicia223752 karma

That was much more in depth than I expected, thank you. And now that you mentioned it, I do remember hearing about hair growing in cycles. The spaces out sessions makes more sense now.

A second question; how does your wife/gf like it?

stahlgrau260 karma

I'm not married, nor have I ever been. I've dated a lot of women. Most I would say don't give a shit one way or another. Looks are not as important to women as they are to men. I did what I did because it makes me feel good.

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." ~Oscar Wilde

Sir_not_sir57 karma

Just your balls?

stahlgrau102 karma

Groomed the pubes and frontal region. Did my balls and my taint.

Initially started with my back and shoulders. Migrated south as the treatments went on.

ayePALINDROMEeye41 karma

So I have to ask...why?

stahlgrau250 karma


I don't like pubes when going down on a girl so I presume they feel the same. I went through puberty late and was smooth until I was 16. Then over the course of 6 months, I went from nubile boy to bone fide Italian man. I hated it and it conflicted with my sense of self. Twenty years later, there was an affordable way to address my perceived problem. Just got sick of the razor. So my motivation for doing it extends far past my genitals.

boldahsoopanumba146 karma

Afterwards, were your balls as smoothe as eggs?

stahlgrau77 karma

Just like my boy, Dave Chappelle.

rock-bottom_mokshada41 karma

Did they get all red & tender?

stahlgrau67 karma

For somewhere between 3 and 12 hours following treatment. Just don't scratch it. Use aloe. Not really tender. Just a warm rash for a few hours.

cubierta34 karma

I'd like to know the whole moving the testicle out of the way portion. Could you explain in great detail, leaving nothing for imagination?

stahlgrau5 karma

She holds the laser in one hand and move your nuts out of the way with other. Not much to it.

jman45633 karma

How hot was the nurse that helped you out?

stahlgrau161 karma

There are two nurses. One is a milfy South American woman. Cute. In shape. The other is a German woman in her 40's. They are probably 7's or 8's.

Now that the formalities are out of the way, the receptionist is smoking hot. Armenian. Proabably 22. Very nice. Very sweet. Always flirty. She's a fucking 11.

Gilsworth30 karma

What inspired you to do this?

stahlgrau51 karma

I didn't like the patches of hair on my back or my shoulders. So I initially went in for that and then continued with other areas.

Gilsworth33 karma

Is it expensive? I might want to have the smoothest balls in town one day.

stahlgrau39 karma

The place I went to is now advertising the same thing for $40 per treatment.


If it took you 8 treatments, it would cost $320 total. You'd space the treatments in intervals. Start with 4 week cycles, then 6, then 8. It will vary based on how effective it is for you. The nurse will help you decide when to schedule.

Gilsworth33 karma

Well, I will be going to the States in a about a year or two, why not magic my ball-hair off while I'm at it. I thought it would be more expensive, but that's really not too bad.

stahlgrau21 karma

Five years ago you had to by these really expensive packages and finance them if you couldn't pay a few grand. Now there are many more laser shops and a lot of them charge by time. So you can mix and match whatever areas you want and just pay as you go.

CremDeLaCrem28 karma

i really want to do this.......but to my asshole and taint. I can handle pubes and ball hair

stahlgrau50 karma

No one is stopping you. They will do it.

charger7728 karma

Would you suggest giving this as a gift to someone?

stahlgrau199 karma

I would give it to a family member or SO who I knew wanted it. It would really depend on my relationship with the person. I would not get it for Amir in Accounting as a Secret Santa Gift. Who are you thinking about?

Kharn024 karma

How much did it cost and what coutry did you get it done in? I've thought about getting it on my balls and penis(both are very hairy and very irritating to shave/nair) Was this also your reason for doing so?

stahlgrau31 karma

It about $150 for 1/2 hour. Bikini area only they will do in 10 minutes for $60 when I did. That same place has it on special for $40.

I started doing my back and shoulders. Then went south.

Kharn018 karma

How long does the hair stay gone? How long did irritation and redness last?

stahlgrau30 karma

Permanent Hair Reduction. Like forever. I got 95%.

Pink/Red rash for 3-12 hours after treatment. Just itchy. Not painful. My sack didn't redden at all. Just up north in the pubic and hip region.

Blu-22 karma

Pro/cons? How long will the results last?

stahlgrau42 karma

Pros: Permanent. Cheap.

Cons: Gotta stay out of the Sun during treatment for best results. Hurts a little. Hours long rash after treatment.

brittanymow61 karma

if that is a con, do you sunbathe your balls often?

stahlgrau47 karma

I also did my back, shoulders, upper chest, neck. I stayed out of the sun for close to two years.

Callummm21 karma


stahlgrau68 karma

I still have a groomed patch in the pubic area. Lasered the sides so I don't have to shave there at all. Even if ball hair becomes all the rage, I am willing to odd man out. It just feels better.