My children's Christmas picture book Romy's Garden Adventures: Christmas City is now available to download for free in the Amazon Kindle store.

It's now the #1 children's Christmas book. I am here to answer any questions about ANYTHING and say thank you to those who went and downloaded it! (It's still free btw)

Download the free book at -

My author website -

Verified -


EDIT 2: Guys. I am about to pass out. I have written this parting blog post. We shall chat again. Nothing but love

26 hour AMA. every question answered and accounted for X

EDIT 3: Anyone interesting in supporting me, I don't accept donations, but you can be the coolest cat ever and buy some stuff from my shop - XOX

Comments: 2025 • Responses: 80  • Date: 

HyperbolicChamber1075 karma

I kinda feel like I'm at Costco, and there's a guy there doing a book signing, but no one is at his little table, and we just made eye contact.

So let me ask you, if I download your book and read it to my kid tomorrow, what is something secret, cool, or anecdotal about it or its message that a normal reader wouldn't otherwise notice?

aMANescape1246 karma

There's a character in it called Vanessa... In the book, she is a fart cloud... I named this character after one of my ACTUAL ex girlfriends :) You are the first (AND LAST) person I have told this too.

Vinnypuff644 karma

As a vanessa, that's a pretty close depiction of me.

aMANescape443 karma

Sorry V, how can I make it up to you?

SentientYeast775 karma

Hot sweaty Christmas sex

aMANescape246 karma

I'm in

Vinnypuff144 karma

You've done enough ; _ ;, at least you didn't spell my name with two n's.

aMANescape244 karma

Now lets forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry icecream

AnExoticLlama106 karma


aMANescape185 karma


973p4ndas497 karma


aMANescape270 karma

I love the internets

HyperbolicChamber299 karma

A Christmas book with Vanessa the fart cloud? Say no more. On my way to download.

aMANescape152 karma

God speed!

stantonmatt555 karma

i hope this one goes better, but i dont really have any questions.

aMANescape370 karma

You honor me

Gamerhead148 karma

What inspired you to make the book?

aMANescape327 karma

I was having coffee with my bro in law. My young niece Romy was playing by herself and running around bumping into shit. Funny as hell. I just thought "Fuck this. I'm gona write my niece a Christmas book." And here we are... Next week I'm writing a Hanukkah book for some guy on this thread. PS. Fuck yeah! I can now spell Hanukkah without using google...

printergumlight205 karma

The good thing about misspelling Hannukah, is that you probably still spelled it right.

aMANescape102 karma

Here I was thinking I had brain smarts. Dammit!

Bojenkins54 karma

isn't is Chanukkah?

aMANescape102 karma

I will have to google that one :/

Iapetos344 karma

Upvote for using "writing a children's book" & "fuckit" in the same title.

aMANescape583 karma

High five with my balls out

zen_nudist122 karma

Youre killing me man. Best AMA.

aMANescape48 karma

Thanks :) I'm here all night :)

KUSH_MY_SWAG_420_69271 karma

how much of that sweet, sweet poon did your success in childrens' book story writing net you?

aMANescape365 karma

hahahaha. I'm married... no poon for me

Ursus1337198 karma

So... your wife is frigid?

aMANescape769 karma

I love my wife to bits and would be nothing without her... But yeh, I fap a lot

rekcut303362 karma


aMANescape229 karma

It's true. I fucking love everyone! :)

alonelystarchild218 karma

I'm drunk. I love you too.

aMANescape200 karma

Then it's agreed.. We are in love with each other

Dylan_the_Villain105 karma

How are you gonna break this one to your wife?

aMANescape169 karma

She'll be cool :)

pocket-rocket70 karma

I love fucking everyone!

aMANescape90 karma

Are you me?

everlostpoet114 karma

You're not allowed to ask questions here!

aMANescape8 karma

I'm not?

NoveltyAccount5928354 karma

Tomorrow's leading story on Fox News:

Children's author discusses his rampant masturbation on socialist atheist pro-drug website.

Edit: Jesus, the deeper I get into this thread, the more things I find that could go into that headline ...

aMANescape134 karma

Hey... any publicity... :)

CallMeAudio231 karma

But yeh, I fap a lot

Best line you'll find in this entire thread, 10/10

aMANescape133 karma

I can not lie :)

TexasTango96 karma

Guess you like big butts too?

aMANescape192 karma

I can not lie

ezenbrowntown106 karma

It appears this other brother can't deny.

aMANescape108 karma

I get sprung everyday

Dubhuir30 karma

I see this AMA is going well.

aMANescape50 karma

You have no idea!! The questions!!

tongatime224 karma

Hey, I just downloaded it.

How about doing the same for my wife's book which also happens to currently be free for Kindle...and also happens to be a Christmas story....but for older kids.

Liberty Frye and the Witches of Hessen, by J.L. McCreedy

Edit: At the time this post was made, the book was available for free download as part of a two day promotion from Amazon. That ended at midnight (Pacific Standard Time) Thursday night. If anyone missed out on this free promotion but would like a free copy, it is scheduled for another free promotion this weekend for a few days starting at midnight on Friday through midnight Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas everyone! :)

aMANescape127 karma

Do an AMA for your wife? I don't about that, but I'd be happy to check it out and share it with my friends :) What else can I do?

tongatime52 karma

Ha ha, no AMA, though that might be an interesting experiment to do an AMA for a stranger...hopefully wouldn't get all "Ramparted like Woody Harrelson's"

I just meant maybe you could download a free copy and check it out, leave a review if you like it, share with friends, etc.

aMANescape58 karma

I will definitely check it out :) Merry Christmas to you sir

tongatime29 karma

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too! I look forward to reading your book and genuinely hope you enjoy my wife's book!

aMANescape53 karma

Rock and roll. Consider me a new friend. My contact deets are on my site if you ever wana hit me up... This goes for anyone else on this thread too...

tongatime20 karma

I just checked out your website and was pleasantly surprised to see that we're in the same hemisphere. I haven't made it over to OZ yet, but I've sort of hovered around it a bit (Indo and NZ), currently living in Tonga. Small(ish) world!

No apocalypse here so far. How 'bout you?

aMANescape31 karma

Haha. No end of the world happening here... But my book is getting upvoted, so something must be seriously wrong... Did we cross into another dimension maybe??

lipperman93187 karma

how much have u made off it so far?

aMANescape733 karma

I have sold 2 physical copies... So, $6. The ebook version is free, so nothing off that one...

Then just subtract $8 a month web hosting, $200 to get 20 copies for myself delivered from overseas and... OH GOD WHY

NoveltyAccount5928260 karma

Hey, I just bought a copy of Burglar Brothers, so you're now $.99 richer!

Edit: Ok, so I pay 99 cents for a book, comment about it, and after 8 hours I'm sitting at 87 karma. That's roughly 1.14 cents per karma point. GUYS! I FIGURED OUT HOW TO BUY KARMA!!

Edit 2: Ooo, I'm up over 200 now, getting a much better return on my investment!

aMANescape157 karma

Wow shit! Thank you!! You are much too kind!!

Palikk153 karma

Alright, give those 99 cents back to him.

aMANescape81 karma

How do I do that?

MechanizedMonk55 karma

...the internet

aMANescape412 karma

I just threw money at the screen. Nothing happened... WTF!

MechanizedMonk82 karma


aMANescape93 karma

I keep trying dammit! DAAAMMMMMMIIIIITTT

gemcitytiffany71 karma

Greatest AMA ever. I just giggle/snorted and woke my husband AND the dog. THANKS

aMANescape68 karma

I am humbled... You are most welcomed.

zeus_digital55 karma

you'll be paid in children's happiness! but seriously, congrats on getting yourself out there, and best of luck with everything.

aMANescape89 karma

I'm out there now?? When did this happen???

Wetmelon35 karma

Umm... you can't charge like 99 cents for the ebook?

aMANescape163 karma

Well... Yeh... I'd just rather people read it though... So free it is... :)

JalopyPilot26 karma

Downloaded and read just because of this comment. I even had to go and get the kindle app. Can't wait to read he channukkaahh one .

(... ya that looks right)

aMANescape29 karma

Thank you so much for grabbing a copy... REALLY!! You have no idea how much effort I have put in to even get ONE PERSON to read it!!! THANK YOU!!!!

FlyingKarateCat179 karma

Did you ever feel that your addiction to dropping f-bombs would ever affect your career as a children's book author?

aMANescape274 karma

My career as a... Bahahahaha. I haven't thought that far ahead... But fuck me. Kids who don't know that word just grow up being weird anyways. But hey... I don't use it in any of my stories... But yeh. Saying fuck is just me being me...

Chris_Turkleton139 karma

my questions never get answered on these things but, hanukkah book as a sequel?

aMANescape283 karma

I'm not even kidding... Hanukkah book before the end of the year... Stay tuned!!! PM me Chris_Turkleton. Drop me your email and I'll send you a link when it's done...

tongatime86 karma

best Reddit reply this week!

aMANescape68 karma

Big call! :)

weedeater64131 karma

What makes you think it went unnoticed.

aMANescape687 karma

It got 3 upvotes...

r3dn1t3126 karma

Are you high in that photo? Be honest, it's almost Christmas.

aMANescape209 karma

Sleep depraved... Was up all night browsing reddit... I would have been high but didn't have any weed at the time

Marksman79266 karma

You call yourself sleep deprived? I just read that comment you responded to as "Are you high in that potato?" and came back for a double-take.

aMANescape144 karma


chefman77755 karma

Bother what?

aMANescape114 karma

Can someone else please....

kraekin37 karma

Excellent work on the book, my little brother loved it. If you ever visit Alberta you can get high with me.

aMANescape63 karma

Fucking yeyahhh!! hit me up on FB or something!

colourfulsynesthete23 karma

Naw man, us folks in BC have the best. I'm also going to read your book to my nieces and nephews--not only because it looks awesome, but now I like you a lot.

aMANescape60 karma

I like you too sir... Any one who actually reads my book... Fuck me... My own family won't even read my shit

Ho11er84 karma

So if writing isn't paying the bills, what is?

aMANescape176 karma

I just have a regular day job. Writing is what I do for fun :)

3z3ki3l85 karma

Really? Cause what I do for fun is... Dammit I can't remember her name.

Palikk169 karma

My mother?

aMANescape141 karma


Luxray13 karma

Do you ever hope to make a living off of writing?

aMANescape28 karma

That would be my dream. Yes...

vilest67 karma

Did you use MS Paint for the illustrations?

edit: I am not trying to sound like a jerk, it's an honest question.

aMANescape77 karma

Hehe. nah. I drew them with a pencil, outlined with a felt tipped pen, scanned then used photoshop to fill in all the color :) just as simple :)

vilest80 karma

You should have used more lens flares and sharpen filters imo

aMANescape135 karma

haha I was even thinking about adding some gradient, but then I thought.. gradients are for pussies! :) I have no idea what I just wrote :/

vilest14 karma

Regardless, you still put chris-chan's art skills to shame.

aMANescape30 karma

I will inquire into this.. Chris Chan you speak of

LordTebowChrist56 karma

What's it like to write a book

aMANescape207 karma

It's like.... warm apple pie

Juz16117 karma

brb writing a book

aMANescape8 karma

Done yet?

Kempje54 karma

Nice to see someone make something successful without the goal of money. Congrats!

aMANescape48 karma

Rock on friend :)

trueneverland48 karma

How long did it take to make the book? Did you use any publishing tools, etc, if so, what? And how did you market the book?

aMANescape126 karma

Took me probably a grand total of 4 hours. I drew the pics, scanned them, coloured them in using photoshop, added the pics to indesign, PDF'd it, then converted the PDF to an ebook using calibre and uploaded it to Amazon using a free publishing service called createspace... I didn't do much marketing... Told my friends to check it out on FB and Twitter then did an AMA

1dr247 karma

I wrote a novel. It took me 3 years, working full time to complete, and everyone rejected it... Congratulations, anyway.

aMANescape118 karma

Did you try self-publishing? Wana be pals that help each other? I am always looking for other authors help...

I am actually working on a more detailed story (probably similar to yours in that no one will check it out) for kids that I wont have finished for another 6 months and would love some advice / anecdotes from your writing journey...

pocket-rocket45 karma

Would you rather write 100 duck sized books or 1 horse sized book?

aMANescape83 karma

I have been waiting to this question and the answer would be... the one with the ducks... I like ducks... fuck horses

gspot2634 karma

What do you do for your regular job then?

aMANescape88 karma

I actually work in the paint industry. So it's kinda been cool to spend time around colors alot

lostdogchi34 karma

Sucks this didn't take off, sorry man

I dont know anything about the book (sorry, being honest), but:

Why did you decide to write a kids book?

What was the most difficult part?

Do you plan on writing more children's books?

Do you have kids yourself? If you dont, why did you write a kids book?

What are you working towards?

Best of luck to you!

aMANescape54 karma

1 - Love expressing my weird ass self

2 - It was all actually quite easy. The tricky part is convincing my friends to read it... They couldn't give two shits... Sometimes I think they actually hate me :/

3 - Yes. Hanukkah book coming out next week

4 - No. The books I have written have been for my niece Romy. She is the cutest little thing ever.

5 - Just writing more stories I suppose. I'm also saving up for a Nintendo 3DS XL

Thank you kind sir. My contact deets are on my site if you ever feel like talking shit and what not...

Canuckfan00730 karma

What made you decide to write a children's book instead of an adult novel?

aMANescape72 karma

Haha. My adult novel would be fucking weird :/ There would be all kinds of... Lets just not go there :)

suiker36 karma

I would download it for free, then read it.

aMANescape25 karma

Then.... OH GOD WHY

SilentEdge23 karma

What was your favorite Christmas gift as a child?

aMANescape63 karma

I once got a figurine of the green tiger in He-Man... lost my shit!

GoodEnoughForMe27 karma

Cringer/Battle-Cat! I got one for Christmas way back, too. highfive

aMANescape29 karma

Bro hug!

pos_ington18 karma

What's your favorite thing hanging on your refrigerator?

aMANescape29 karma

A picture of me and my wife... That's the only thing there. My wife does all the hanging of things in our house...

Avocado_Advocate15 karma

how much did you make last year (excluding this book)?

aMANescape28 karma

Off writing?? In total??? About $50.

Yeh... I have a normal job and stuff... This is just a hobby. I have managed to save a fair bit of money though. I built my own website and createspace do all the printing and delivery of physical copies...

asator14 karma

Hey motherfucker, where can I get a physical copy of your book? I got a little kid (he's an asshole who doesn't like to sleep at night but he's cool I guess) who would probably like it. I don't want no download bullshit, I want a motherfucking good old fashioned book. And I wanna support independent motherfuckers like yourself. I want you to make more than 6 fucking dollars for your book. So were can I get that shit? I want it by fucking xmas. Can you make it happen?

aMANescape9 karma

Holy fucking hell!! First off.. HIGH FIVE! You're kid sounds cool... What's your address??? PM me... I'll get a signed copy over (might take a while though... I'm in Australia)

TK2712 karma


aMANescape22 karma

I just wrote it for my niece in a couple of hours. No major deal... There's a Hanukkah one coming out next week too :)

HubbleEngineer11 karma

Favorite YA novel?

aMANescape41 karma

Harry Potts 10/10! :) YOu?

Juufro9 karma

  • Any tips on how to become better at writing?
  • What are your hobbies beside writing?
  • What's something that turns you off? (doesn't have to be sexually)

aMANescape13 karma

  • Hmm just keep writing I suppose. Also, read good stuff... I'm always re-reading Roald Dahl books in the hopes of copying what he does...

  • I love rock climbing and surfing. I also drink a bucket load of coffee, play Mario Kart on 64 by myself quite a bit (My wife won't play me anymore...Says I am too "competitive") and spend way too much time on reddit...

  • People who hide behind emails and are really bureaucratic. Sexual stuff... Shit... I'm in to almost anything :/

Spoggerific9 karma

Do you speak any languages other than English?

aMANescape37 karma

I speak basic mandarin... And I mean basic... That is the hardest fucking language ever... But is fun to learn... I started just podcasting lessons and usually do an hour month :/

Other than that, no.

I failed most language courses in school... Even english for that matter

Cookie0021 karma

I am Chinese. Speaking Mandarin is easier than English. No present tense, past tense, future tense to worry about.

aMANescape49 karma

That just confuses me more :)

Spoggerific24 karma

No stupid conjugation rules to worry about, and no exceptions to memorize. In English, the most common way to turn verbs into the past tense is just adding "-ed" - conjugate -> conjugated, turn -> turned, confuse -> confused, etc. However, there are a ton of words which do not follow this rule, like run -> ran, read -> read (especially confusing for non-native speakers, since the spelling is the same!), eat -> ate, etc. As a native speaker of the language, these rules are so natural to you that you probably would have difficulty explaining them to someone else, even though you've done it literally every day of your life since you were three years old. A non-native speaker, however, would have to memorize all of them.

Mandarin doesn't have any of these rules or exceptions, since it has no past tense in the first place, so conjugation at the least is indeed easier than English.

aMANescape77 karma

Alrighty then

Cookie009 karma

Congratulations! What an adorable book! How did you get the ISBN?

aMANescape6 karma

Thank you very much for the kind words :) Wana b pals?

theevolvedchimp8 karma

have many people bought the $12 version?

aMANescape17 karma

I haven't checked yet. Not too fussed :/ I can check and find out later for you if you like?

crazdave15 karma

People should totally buy the $12 version just to support an awesome guy like you

aMANescape48 karma

You are a true bro. But no everyone... Get the free shit :)

EcumenicalMatter8 karma

Why did you decide to do a Christmas book ? Are you a professional writer or is it more a hobby ?

aMANescape19 karma

I thought it was perfect time of year to do one. I didn't sleep on this decision. I had just had lunch with my brother in-law and my niece was running around, being funny (she does that). I just thought, "Fuck it. I'm gona write that adorable little bastard a Christmas Book"... And here we are... Purely just a hobby. No bills would get paid if I was doing this full time... That's my dream though... Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket... hmmm

buttershoeshi14 karma

As someone who is currently looking for a "normal job," but dreams of being a full time writer, I will say, I like you. And I hope you're having a wonderful holiday season!

aMANescape22 karma

Fuck me. that was so nice. Thank you. Happy holidays and all that shit to you too. Fucking hell. Lets be friends! Do you wana come to Australia and have a beer with me?? Or should I come to you???

buttershoeshi12 karma

Depends if you want to experience the end of the world again in 'Murica. We can drink to our woes of wanting to write books no one will give a shit about. :(

aMANescape19 karma

Or get high... I'm up for... you know.... whatever :)