IAMA MISTER TORGUE AND WILL ANSWER EXPLOSION-RELATED QUESTIONS

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF EXPLOSION?

YES

HERE IS A PICTURE OF A CAT BEIN' LIKE "YOU DON'T IMPRESS ME GUY" http://stuffpoint.com/cat/image/9212-cat-catman.jpg

WHY IS HE NOT EXPLODED!!!

...YET

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING TO EXPLODE?

YOUR MIND

WHY IS TORGUE NOT THE ONLY MANUFACTURER ON PANDORA? WE DON'T NEED ANYTHING ELSE, SO WHY ARE THEY THERE?

SEE THIS GUY GETS IT

THIS GUY RIGHT HERE

MR. TORGUE:

EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH PREMATURE EXPLOSIONS?

NO

MAYBE

YES

SHUT UP

http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/how-to-solve-cat-behavior-problems-2.jpg THIS CAT IS STOKED AS F*CK

SUPER PUMPED ALL ABOUT IT

IF A TREE EXPLODES IN A FOREST AND NO ONE IS AROUND TO SEE IT, DOES IT MAKE AN EXPLOSION?

MY HEAD HURTS NOW

THANKS JERK

LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY REMOVED THE TEXT OF MY POST CAUSE I'M TOO EXPLOSIVE AND/OR THEY DIDN'T THINK MY EXPLOSIVENESS WAS GENUINE

PROOF SON https://twitter.com/GearboxSoftware/status/270620010341359616

HOW MUCH WOOD COULD A WOOD CHUCK CHUCK IF A WOOD CHUCK COULD WIELD TORGUE?

THE WOODCHUCK WOULD BLOW UP THE FOREST BECAUSE WOODCHUCKS GIVE ZERO F*CKS

MISTER TORGUE, WHY HAVEN'T I BEEN ABLE TO FIND TORGUE SNIPERS? DO YOU NOT THINK EXPLODING SOMEONE FROM MILES AWAY GOOD ENOUGH?

I DON'T MAKE SNIPER RIFLES BECAUSE YOU CAN'T PROPERLY APPRECIATE THE EXPLOSION FROM FAR AWAY

IF YOU'RE NOT PICKING GIBLETS OUT OF YOUR TEETH IT WASN'T A REAL KILL

YOU GUYS ASKED SO MANY GODDAMN QUESTIONS YOU MADE MY FINGERS BLEED SO I'M GONNA CALL IT HERE THANKS FOR ASKING SH*T THOUGH IT WAS PRETTY COOL

TRUE OR CORRECT: ALL PEOPLE WHO TYPE IN LOWER CASE ARE PUSSIES ҉

MY ANSWER IS YESTRUECORRECT

GUNS THAT SHOOT EXPLOSIONS OR EXPLOSIONS THAT SHOOT GUNS?

YOU'RE BREAKING DOWN MY WORLDVIEW AND I LIKE IT

DO YOU LIKE DOUGHNUTS WITH DYNAMITE SPRINKLES?

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS A THING

BRING ME EIGHT HUNDRED OF THEM AT ONCE

WHY HAVEN'T YOU EXPLODED YOUR CAT YET?

MY CAT IS NAMED "EXPLOSIONS" AND YOU CAN'T EXPLODE AN EXPLOSION

OH WAIT WHAT IF YOU COULD

THE MAJESTY

THE BEAUTY

YOU JUST BLEW MY MIND GUIZYDUCK

HAVE YOU EVER EXPLODED A PLANET AND IF SO, HOW BADASS WAS IT!?

I TRIED ONE TIME BUT MY SHAREHOLDERS TOLD IT WOULD HAVE BEEN "ILLEGAL" AND "GENOCIDE" AND "ALSO SUICIDAL BECAUSE WE ARE ON THAT PLANET RIGHT NOW" BUT I WAS LIKE SHUT UP

Mister Torgue,

In honor of this momentous occasion in which you have graced us with your explosivity, I humbly ask for your assistance. I would like to experience your story, but have a lack of funds. To better convince you that I deserve your assistance, here is a picture of a shirtless man playing guitar while kicking a rhino in the balls in front of a big ass explosion.

THAT IS THE GREATEST PICTURE I HAVE EVER SEEN AND SO I WILL REWARD YOU WITH TEN HONORARY TORGUEBUX™

UNFORTUNATELY TORGUEBUX™ ARE (A) NOT ACCEPTED AS LEGAL TENDER WITHIN THE BORDERS OF ANYWHERE AND (B) A THING I JUST MADE UP IN MY HEADBOX

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WAY TO BLOW SHIT UP MR. TORGUE?

THAT QUESTION IMPLIES I HAVE A LEAST FAVORITE WAY TO BLOW THINGS UP WHICH IS F*CKING QUITTER TALK

WHILE HIGH-FIVING A CLASSY LADY

HELLO FRIEND. I PLAY SALVADOR. MY FIRST TWO SLOTS HAVE BEEN TORGUE ASSAULT RIFLES SINCE THE BEGINNING. YOU MAY BE ASKING YOURSELF WHAT MY SECOND TWO SLOTS ARE. THEY ARE TORGUE ROCKET LAUNCHERS. AS SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF ART IN GENERAL, YOU SIR ARE AN ARTIST.

YOU ARE AN EXAMPLE TO US ALL

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF TINY TINA AND THE SLAB KING?

TINY TINA IS EASILY THE SECOND MOST EXPLOSIVE PERSON I CAN THINK OF AND I SAY THAT AS SOMEONE WHO TAKES A GREAT DEAL OF DIFFICULTY IN COUNTING AS HIGH AS THE NUMBER TWO

THE SLAB KING IS PRETTY ALRIGHT ҉ I LIKE HIS PECS AND HIS GENERAL COMBAT STYLE THE ONLY REAL DOWNSIDE TO HIM IS THAT HIS FISTS DON'T EXPLODE BUT NOBODY'S PERFECT AND FLAWS ARE INHERENTLY BEAUTIFUL SO THAT'S COOL I GUESS

Actually, with the correct relic, his fists DO, in fact, explode.

WHAT

BEST VAULT HUNTER EVER

my cat only likes to make small ka-booms, how do i get her to make huge explosions

FEED HER GRENADES

WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND FOR THE BEST EXPLOSIONS!! I TRY TO BLOW UP RAKKS BUT THEY KEEP FLYING AWAY!

WAIT TILL THEY GET CLOSE THEN LET LOOSE WITH A TORGUE SHOTGUN AND PLAY AROUND IN THE BLOOD CONFETTI

CONFLOOD?

BLOODFETTI

PATENT PENDING, THAT'S MY WORD NOW

IS THERE AN EXPLOSION TOO BIG TO HANDLE?

NO

STUPID

How do you feel about Gaige and her buddy's 'Explosive Clap'? Does it compare to your own explosive clap?

I FEEL LIKE I COULD MAKE A JOKE ABOUT SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES HERE BUT I WON'T BECAUSE I'M A CLASSY MOTHERF*CKER

Catgun. Guncat. Gattacatgun. Catagat.

I don't care.

Just please, please, please start manufacturing cat guns.

KAY

Are the Torgue scientists interested in the concept of laser-cats?

WHO THE F*CK ISN'T

MIRV OR SINGULARITY FOR THE BEST EXPLOSION?!

MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRV

MR. TORGUE, WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU PUT ERIDUM WITH EXPLOSIONS? ALSO, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SKINNY ERIDANS!?

HOLY SH*T WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THAT

Would you rather cause one huge explosion, or one hundred smaller explosions?

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/28000450.jpg

WHY NOT BOTH

[deleted]

PLAYSTATION 3: ASS-BUTT-ASS-F*CK -SHOT

XBOX 360: DUCK -CAT-OTTER-PUMP-BICYCLE

PC: EXPLOSIONS-EXPLOSIONS-EXPLOSIONS - EXPLOSIONS -EXPLOSIONS

MISTER TORGUE ҉ CAN YOU INSTITUTE PRIVATE EXPLOSION-VIEWING BOOTHS, LIKE THEY HAVE FOR ADULT DANCERS? ҉? I'D HAPPILY PAY A FEW DOLLARS TO HAVE MY FAVORITE EXPLOSION EXPLODE JUST FOR ME ҉ AFTER ALL, IT PROBABLY HAS LITTLE EXPLOSIONS TO FEED ҉ BLOW STUFF UP IN GOOD HEALTH ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉

I LIKE YOUR IDEAS

WELCOME TO TEAM TORGUE

NOW GET OFF TEAM TORGUE YOU MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE

MISTER TORGUE, SIR! HOW WILL YOUR CAMPAIGN OF CARNAGE BE DIFFERENT FROM MOXXIS UNDERDOME?

MORE EXPLOSIONS AND MORE BAD GUYS AND MORE GOOD GUYS AND MORE QUESTS AND ALSO I'M IN IT WHAT THE F*CK ELSE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW

Do you have a picture of a cat riding a skag?

NO AND NOW I'M ANGRY THAT I DON'T

THANKS ASSHOLE

YOU DO NOW!!!! http://i.imgur.com/3mt8C.jpg

WELL DONE SON

I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU

Are you BFF's with Tiny Tina?

PRETTY MUCH YEAH WE'RE "TIGHT" AND "HOMIES" AND A BUNCH OF OTHER SH*T SHE SAYS THAT MAKES LITERALLY NO SENSE TO ANYBODY

TORGUE GUNS ARE THE BEST ҉ WHO DO I GET TO LOOK FORWARD TO EXPLODING TOMORROW

BETTER QUESTION: WHO DON'T YOU GET TO NOT-EXPLODE

ANSWER: NOBODY

Greetings Mr.Torgue. Three years ago I believe my father sold you a box of hand grenades, and I was wondering if you found my Sega Game Gear with the grenades? It would make me ever so happy, if you were to return it. Or, explode it.

BAD NEWS I DUCT-TAPED THAT SH*T TO AN M80 AND TOSSED IT AT MY GRANDMA TO TEST HER REFLEXES

LADY GOT MOVES

Do you prefer plastic explosives, chemical, or good old fashion gun powder?

Any great new rocket firing assault gun mini-rifles?

THAT'S LIKE ASKING ME TO CHOOSE A FAVORITE CHILD OR SOMETHING EXCEPT WAY HARDER BECAUSE SOME CHILDREN ARE OBVIOUSLY BETTER THAN OTHERS (EXAMPLE: MOZART)

MISTER TORGUE, WILL I BE ABLE TO KILL YOUR BOSSES OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR THE ULTIMATE CARNAGE?

F*CK YEAH BRO

Mr Torgue, you are awesome, how can I begin my journey down the path of becoming more awesome like you?

PUMP IRON AND OPEN DOORS FOR PEOPLE

EAT CARBS AND HIGH-FIVE PEOPLE A LOT

DRINK ORANGE JUICE AND PLAY XCOM

SMELL FLOWERS AND DRAW PICTURES OF COUGARS

What do you think about Michael Bay and his explosions?

Also, explosive poops?

MICHAEL BAY IS LIKE A SMALL KITTEN PAWING AT THE MASSIVE YARN BALL THAT IS EXPLOSIONS, BARELY UNDERSTANDING ITS TRUE DEPTH AND THE POTENTIAL IT CARRIES

MEANWHILE I'M A TIGER AND I PUT A GRENADE IN THE YARN BALL

DON'T TOUCH THE YARN BALL

What kinds of new badass explosion-tech (techplosion?) are the badass folks at Torgue working on right now?

I mean - already we can throw a grenade that will seek out enemies, pull them all in close and then BLOW UP, but what if it could insult them first?

I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK KID

YOU'RE HIRED

What is your view on Jacob's gun line?

SORRY I COULDN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF JAKOBS GUNS NOT-EXPLODING

To Mr Burch: What other names, aside from Bonerfart, came up during development?

All the names that came up are in that quest, actually -- we really considered "Primal Beast" and "Ferovore."

Mr. Burch, I have a question - How much freedom do you have to write what you please for the game? Is there a lot of oversight? Do you have any real control over the plot?

I have a downright idiotic amount of freedom. Only, like, three people in the company knew about Butt Stallion before we shipped the game.

I have a question about poetry:

SONNET 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Can you compare how the sonnet deals with the relationship between time and love and explosions?

My mistress' eyes are nothing like AN EXPLOSION

EXPLOSIONS ARE far more red than her lips' red;

If snow be white, why then her breasts are NOT EXPLOSIONS BUT STILL PRETTY GREAT

If hairs be DYNAMITE wires, black wires grow on her head.

I have seen roses damask'd, red and white, WHAT DOES DAMASK’D MEAN

But no such EXPLOSIONS see I in her cheeks;

And in some EXPLOSIVES is there more delight

Than in the EXPLOSIONS that from my mistress reeks.

I love to hear her EXPLODE, yet well I know

That EXPLOSIONS hath a far more pleasing sound;

I grant I never saw a EXPLOSION go;

My mistress, when she walks, EXPLODES on the ground:

And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare

As any she belied with false EXPLOSIONS

what do I do about explosive defecation?

CRY A LOT

If you're served a thick stew, how do you eat it? It's not explosion related, but I must know.

WITH A SPOON AND A NAPKIN ON MY LAP

LIKE A F*CKING GENTLEMAN

What are your plans for Thanksgiving?

EAT SOME TURKEY AND SPEND TIME WITH MY FAMILY BECAUSE FAMILY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD TO ME

JUST KIDDING I'M GONNA BLOW UP A SCHOOL BUS FILLED WITH MARSHMALLOWS AND SWIM AROUND IN THE DEBRIS

HI MR. TORGUE, THANKS FOR DOING THIS I'M A BIG FAN OF YOUR PRODUCTS ҉

DO YOU HAVE PLANS FOR EXPLODING ANY SPECIFIC THINGS ON PANDORA THAT YOU CAN TELL US ABOUT ҉

DO YOU HAVE PLANS FOR PERHAPS LAUNCHING THINGS BEYOND PANDORA VIA EXPLOSION ONCE YOU HAVE ADEQUATELY DETONATED STUFF THERE ҉

THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO ANSWER OUR QUESTIONS ҉

THERE IS NO LIMIT TO EXPLOSIONS INQUISITORKAEDE

EXPLOSIONS ARE LIKE DREAMS IN THAT THEY ARE BIGGER THAN ANY ONE OF US AND IF YOU BELIEVE IN THEM THERE IS NO LIMIT TO WHAT YOU CAN DO

EXCEPT DREAMS CAN'T TURN A HUMAN BODY INTO A THREE-POUND PILE OF GROUND BEEF AND SADNESS SO EXPLOSIONS ARE WAY F*CKING BETTER COME TO THINK OF IT

[deleted]

GOOD

[deleted]

• EXPLOSIONS
• BOSSES
• EXPLOSIONS
• NEW WEAPONS
• NPCS AND STUFF
• A METICULOUSLY-CRAFTED NARRATIVE
• F*CKING EXPLOSIONS

GAIGE SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY SMART GIRL ҉ HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO HACK HER ECHO DEVICE ҉

I'M RICH AS SH*T AND DEVOTED MY ENTIRE I.T. DEPARTMENT TO CRACKING HER ECHO SIGNATURE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CREATE A TWITTER ACCOUNT AND THIS WAY SEEMED QUICKER

This is a question for the man behind the explosive-mask:

First off, let me say HI ANTHONY OMGOMGOMG I have been a fan of yours for god-damn ever. We're even FACEBOOK FRIENDS. Alright. Now to the less creepy part of this.

I always loved how verbal you were when you were with Destructoid, and RevRants were by far one of my favorite things about the site besides Chad's Memory Card write-ups. I know in interviews now that it seems like you kind of want to forget that part of your career, and I'm not sure if it's just the way I've viewed it or what. Am I correct in thinking this? At other times it seems like it's not though, like the recent Sup Holmes? episode and stuff like that.

Also, in one of your interviews you said that once you started to work at Gearbox you realized a lot of the stuff that you would talk about was more or less a "lesser of two evils" thing, and I was curious if you had some examples? They always wanted to touch upon the man behind the story, but never really delve into "why he's the guy for the job" in the interviews, which was what fascinated me (I mean, you used to be so adamant about games needing to take themselves seriously, so Borderlands 2? Weird combo).

Overall though, I think you did a FANTASTIC job and I loved loved loved LOVED Borderlands 2 (275 hours played!) and can't wait to see what you've done with DLC2. Now as for a Borderlands 2 question.. We're getting into spoiler territory.

After the BNK3R fight there's a.. loss. This has been something that's wracked my brain for a while, so I gotta ask. When this loss occurred, why didn't the New-U stations take care of it? There's a theory of a "lapse" of protection but I don't wanna spoil details for those who haven't beaten the game yet. Or, is it New-U stations aren't canon?

Wow, this has been a long-ass rant of incoherence. Welp, if you decide to respond to it, you have my utmost thanks. I miss hearing your oh-so-vocal opinion, but I'm glad that you're doing well at Gearbox. Hopefully after I get done with school I'll be able to do something either there or with Valve. Hell, maybe 343i. Lots of places that are amazing. Thanks for continuing to provide amazing memories and discussions for us for god knows how many years now. You're by far one of my most respected writers, and people in general.

You are certainly incorrect. I don't want to forget that part of my career at all -- I enjoyed it very much and it made me the person I am today.

Regarding the New-U thing: that's my fault, but not for the reasons you'd expect. I sincerely believe that if I hadn't added any dialog to the New-U stations (the snarky lines from the Hyperion female voice), then the New-U's wouldn't have felt like an in-world technology -- they would have felt like a meta aspect of the game.

When Aeris dies, you spend, like, a second wondering why Cloud doesn't just use a Phoenix Down on her and then you say "screw it" and move on, because nobody in the story acknowledges that Phoenix Downs even exist and you're pretty sure they're just a gameplay mechanic. If I hadn't added dialog to the New-U stations, I think you-know-who's death would have functioned in much the same way.

How much more explosions should we expect in the campaign of carnage?!

SEVERAL

A LARGE NUMBER

MISTER TORGUE:

1. HOW WAS YOUR FIRST EXPLOSION?

2. TELL MORE ABOUT THE CREATIVE PROCESSES YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH IN REGARDS TO EXPLOSIONS CAUSED BY PEOPLE THAT SHOULD NOT TOUCH EXPLOSIVES. DO YOU SIMPLY EXPLODE THEM?

3. WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXPLOSION?

4. DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS FOR GETTING INTO THE EXPLOSION BUSINESS? ARE THERE CERTAIN EXPLOSIONS TO AVOID?

1. VIOLENT

2. YES

3. AS SAID EARLIER, YOUR MIND OR THIS ONE TIME I STUCK C4 INTO A CLOWN CAR

4. AVOID EMP'S -- PEOPLE ACT LIKE THEY'RE FOR REAL EXPLOSIONS BUT THEY JUST BREAK CALCULATORS AND BORING SH*T LIKE THAT IT'S LIKE WHY EVEN BOTHER DON'T WASTE MY TIME JEEZ

IS MAKING A DEATHSTAR TO BLOW UP PLANETS YOUR DREAM!?!?!?

MY DREAM INVOLVES HAM SANDWICHES AND SPANKING

BUT LET'S GO WITH YEAH

LET'S SAY THAT'S MY DREAM IT'S WAY LESS WEIRD

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OLD SPICE EXPLOSIOOOOONNNSSS?

THEY'RE PRETTY GREAT

MISTER TORGUE, I HAVE A BOX OF FIRE CRACKERS JUST SITTING AROUND. WHAT WOULD BE THE COOLEST THING TO DO WITH THEM?

PUT THEM INTO CUPCAKES AND THEN EAT THE CUPCAKES

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GRENADE?

I'M PRETTY PARTIAL TO MIRVS BECAUSE THEY'RE THE EXPLOSION THAT KEEPS ON EXPLODING

MISTER TORGUE WHO IS PYRO PETE? WOULD HE NAME A GRENADE AFTER ME? I FOLLOW YOU ON TWITTER AND I AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT LOWERCASE.

PYRO PETE IS A TOURNAMENT FIGHTER WHOSE GIMMICK IS ABOUT FIRE

HE'S WEIRD

PLUMP KERBLASTER IS THE EXPLOSIVEST GUN IN THE BORDERLANDS: CONFIRM OR DENY.

OR, IF YOU WANT IT IN THE FORM OF A QUESTION: HOW EXPLOSIVE IS THAT GUN, AMIRITE?

CONFIRMED

Are you ready for the big BOOM tomorrow?

MORE LIKE ARE YOU

Does your cat explode too?

ONLY HIS DOO-DOOS

AND WHEN I STRAP C4 TO HIM BUT THAT'S LIKE A ONCE EVERY SIX MONTHS THING

HOW COME PANDORA ISN'T 100% EXPLODED YET IT SEEMS LIKE SOMEONE SHOULD GET ON THAT LIKE FOR REAL

I KNOW RIGHT

WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME YOU EXPLODED SOMETHING.

BIRTH

IT WAS ACTUALLY TRAGIC AS SH*T

WHAT'S YOUR OPINION ON ANTHONY BURCH?

GUY'S BROWN AND SKINNY AND SMELLS LIKE ASS

WIFE'S HOT THOUGH

MR. TORGUE,

WHAT ARE YOUR OPINIONS ON SOME OF YOUR RIVAL GUN MANUFACTURERS. NOT ENOUGH EXPLOSIONS IS AN OBVIOUS ANSWER FOR A FEW, BUT SOME OF THEM DO PACK A POWERFUL PUNCH. HELL, TEDIORE GUNS THEMSELVES EXPLODE, NOT JUST THEIR BULLETS. YOUR THOUGHTS?

TEDIORE IS THE ONLY WEAPON MANUFACTURER I CAN THINK ABOUT WITHOUT GETTING INCREDIBLY NAUSEOUS

LIKE GODDAMN HYPERION GUNS NEVER EXPLODE

EVER

WHAT IS THAT

WHY WOULD YOU

URRHGGLLL NAUSEOUS GODDAMMIT

(What did you, Anthony Burch, want to study as a child? Have you wanted to study writing your whole life?)

I wanted to be an actor when I was super-young, then I wanted to make movies, and then I wanted to be a games journalist. I just kinda fell into games writing.

MR TORGUE, EVER BEEN STRANGLED WITH YOUR OWN INTESTINES!?

ONCE

IT WAS ALRIGHT

IF YOU HAD TO USE ANOTHER MANUFACTURES GUNS, WHO'S WOULD YOU USE?

MY BARE HANDS

HOW MUCH TORGUE IS TORGUE ENOUGH, OR CAN YOU NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH TORGUE?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE VERY UN-TORGUE-ISH BASTARD, HANDSOME JACK?

HANDSOME JACK IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF AN EXPLOSION

I KNOW THERE'S A WORD FOR THAT AND THAT WORD IS "IMPLOSION" BUT PRETEND THAT WORD DOESN'T EXIST FOR A MINUTE FOR THE PURPOSES OF MY METAPHOR

NO WAIT SH*T IT'S A SIMILE BECAUSE I SAID "LIKE"

F*CKING SIMILES