xoxo52

I feel like I clench my jaw a lot but I don't notice when I do it. Any tips for how to relax my jaw?

Thanks for responding!! We overall have a very loving relationship. Definitely the healthiest I’ve ever been in. We both see our own therapists and they both think we are good for each other so we joke that our relationship is “therapists approved”. I will try to not focus so much on whether he said a certain thing and just share my thoughts and leave it at that. I don’t think he does it with any malicious intent, it reminds me more of a child trying to get out of trouble. It’s just draining when it happens and when I saw your ama I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to ask. Thanks again!!

My bf and I both have adhd/anxiety. A good portion of our arguments follow a similar trajectory: he makes an immature comment => I call him out => he insists that’s not what he said/meant and I’m remembering wrong or that I’m misinterpreting what he meant (trying to downplay the offensive part of his comment) => I doubt my judgment and memory => I have to think back and repeat exactly what he said to “prove” I’m not misreading his original intent => I get even more frustrated that I have to go through this whole rigamarole to justify my initial reaction to his comment => I tell him to stop “gaslighting” => he denies doing that => he reflects for a while and owns up to whatever it was I was calling him out for => he gets hurt bc he says he would never intentionally gaslight me and it hurts him that I would think that (sometimes claiming he was stoned and not remembering things correctly).

Is this gaslighting? Or am I overreacting? Is there a better way for me to respond when this happens? I hate the argument changing from addressing the offensiveness of what he said to if he even said it in the first place.