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woden_spoon210 karma

Saw that episode, and it struck me that the happenstance of finding a pair of old jeans in what seemed to be a “common room” in an old mining building seemed a bit far-fetched. Do you know if the jeans were planted there, or was it a legit find?

woden_spoon164 karma

Thanks OP!

Jeff Goldblum, if you’re reading this I’m onto you.

woden_spoon31 karma

Hi Jason,

I don’t exactly suffer from performance anxiety, but—even after 15 years of marriage to a beautiful woman (out of my league, for sure)—I continue to struggle with initiation anxiety. Once I’m warmed up, or if my wife initiates sex, I have no problem pleasuring and/or being pleasured. But when it comes to initiating sex, I become self-conscious and hyper-aware of my wife’s body-language.

I’ve been to a couple of therapists over the years, partly because of this issue, but I've never gotten past it.

My question: have you suffered from anxiety while initiating sex? If so (or even if not) do you have any wisdom to impart around that?

woden_spoon11 karma

While I can’t speak for OP or what he may have meant, it should be noted that a surgeon is often as much an “artist” as a “scientist.” Some surgeons are incredibly precise, patient, and creative, while others can be sloppy, hot-headed, and easily frustrated. When local anesthesia is used instead of general, that can take a whole other kind of art form, as it requires some level of patient compliance.

If OP takes pride in his work of combining therapies and knowing where and when to choose one method over another, etc. where he felt stifled or bored before, he may see this therapy as a creative endeavor, and something he can improve on over time.

woden_spoon1 karma

Are these the grandchildren of Devendra Varma? A friend of mine was a student of Varma at Dalhousie in Halifax, and she lent me Varma's book, The Gothic Flame.

I majored in Gothic lit in college, but hadn't read Varma's work until that. What a great book. Varma's enthusiasm for the genre is really contagious.