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whiskey__wizard135 karma

Do you have your bum insured? And what do you feed it?

whiskey__wizard54 karma

I’m so sorry, I feel for you. Something that helps me sometimes is telling yourself they can’t hurt you anymore. In the present moment you are safe and in control of your own life. I highly recommend “The power of now” by Eckhart Tolle.

I realize this may seem like a twig to hold onto while drowning, but hope it can help.

whiskey__wizard21 karma

Hi, I’m by no means a mental health professional, just someone who has been through similar loops, so take this all with a grain of salt and only use it if is applicable and helpful.

It took me 20 years of depression to finally start to understand the true roots of it. For me, it was my short tempered, perfectionist, judgemental, authoriarian father that did most of the harm.

When you’re very young your brain is changing rapidly, and forming new connections. It happens with language, and also with the way we deal with emotions.

Since my dad was irrationally angry and would punish/ spank me for anything perceived as wrong, I became avoidant. Stayed in my room 90% of the time, was more active at night when he was asleep, etc.

I also feel like I’m a piece of shit if I don’t accomplish a bunch of stuff every day. That’s because he was a perfectionist, would force me to do chores, then critique everything I did. I was punished for petty things like taking a nap, so I feel like shit if I sleep too much.

Understanding the roots of your behaviors is by no means a cure, but it does allow you to start to forgive yourself. You realize that you were just a kid trying to make your parents happy and feel loved.

The next step is awareness and vigilance. Try to get in the habit of feeling your emotions. Often they get stuffed down because we don’t have time. Set aside 15 minutes in your day when you can meditate and allow yourself to feel any repressed emotions. When they appear welcome them instead of trying to fight them. If you get frustrated because you can’t focus, forgive yourself and try again another time.

The best step is to go to therapy, but that isn’t an option for me so I have developed ways to deal with it. But it is still very easy to slip into these loops and not realize it for months.

But the brain can be reprogrammed! Even when you are older. Try to get in the habit of analyzing your thoughts of worthlessness, and then realize that they are not based in reality. It is only that voice in your head that may have been “programmed” in by your parents/ siblings.

whiskey__wizard8 karma

I was there in Greenville, SC at the Peace Center when a guy yelled in the middle of the show, "DON'T RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND, YOU MIGHT LOSE IT!"

It was very weird, no one knew if it was a legitimate threat or if the guy was trying to make a terrible joke about the spotlight. I believe your response was, "Um... What??"

You handled it very well and then turned it into a light hearted, uplifting moment. But I've never been so embarrassed for my city.

I then saw your opening act RUN to his bus after the show. Sorry on behalf of Greenville, we're not all like that.