wandmirk

It depends on what scientific sex you actually mean.

"Nature exhibits “sex” in five ways: genetic sex, gonadal sex, phenotypic sex, and, if you choose to count them, the presence of hormones, and breast tissue.

As far as genetic sex, you can be XX or XY. But you can also be XXY, XYY, and a variety of other combinations. I've never been genotyped, so I have no idea what genetic sex I am. I could be XY and have my testes determining factor shut off. Who knows?

Your gonadal sex is whether you have testicles or ovaries. It is possible to have both or neither. I'm pretty sure I have ovaries but I have no idea if I actually ovulate. I probably don't.

Your phenotypic sex is whether you have a penis or a vagina. And it is possible to have ambiguous genitalia that reflects neither of our concepts of what a penis or a vagina look like. 1 in 2,000 infants in the US are born “intersex” with ambiguous genitalia and are surgically altered at birth to make their genitalia look more “normal”. Even though the American Academy of Pediatrics has revised it’s previous position stating that intersex children constituted a social emergency, they now still assert that a gender must be assigned for these children. I was born with a vagina.

The presence of hormones is another way of exhibiting sex. But not all those assigned female have the same levels of oestrogen and not all those assigned male have the same levels of testosterone. There are burgeoning fields of cosmetic and medical intervention to lower testosterone in assigned females to prohibit the growth of body hair (because that’s another thing we’ve gendered in our culture) and to lower the oestrogen in males. Then there are people (like myself) who do not make either and have had medical intervention to begin puberty.

And, if you wish to count it, breast tissue is another way we identify sex, though even that is subject to individuals. There are plenty of assigned females with little to no breast tissue and male breast reduction is actually another burgeoning field of cosmetic surgery.

But all of these categories are something we slap together and call "sex". What we class as sex is completely dependant on social factors, not on any of these biological traits (e.g. if someone has "male" genetics, but has a vagina, wears makeup, dresses in feminine clothing, they would not be considered "male" by society, despite what their genetics are).

And in every biological case, there is more than just a binary classification of different types. You can't narrow down the definition of "sex" to one biological description, because society defines it completely by social rules and perceptions. Even if you WERE to pick one of these and decide, there would still be a third option.

The fact is, we as a society of have decided that there is a such thing “sex” and “gender” and we’ve attributed all of these things towards defining that when it means nothing. Sex is socially constructed.

According to this construction, would I be considered "female". Yes probably. There's an F on my birth certificate.

But one shouldn't assume that because society has created this binary and hidden the spaces between that it's "scientific", "fact", or that it's a category we need concern ourselves with more than say, whether one's earlobes are detached or attached for example."

I don't know actually. I assume I must produce adrenaline because I love working out and don't seem to have any problems with that. So I assume I do produce that hormone, but not cortisol. So I suppose if I were to become an athlete, I would have to take more cortisol.

Although the one time I did try out for the cross country team (before my knee injury took me out), they did bring up that hydrocortisone (cortisol replacement) is a steroid and that could prevent me from being a professional athlete because my medications are steroids.

In London. I do feel like the NHS is amazing and it's one of the many reasons I relocated to the UK. Outside of transgender healthcare, the NHS is a live-saver and is amazing. I get all the support here I need for my medical conditions - way better than I ever did in the US with or without health insurance.

In the US, after I lost my health insurance, I applied for Medicaid on the basis of need. I was rejected after waiting six months. When I told my caseworker I needed medication to survive, she said, "There are people with cancer who can't get Medicaid because their cancer isn't bad enough."

Even with Obama's new healthcare, it's not enough. Private health insurance wasn't good enough. The NHS has been wonderful... just not with trans healthcare though.

I wouldn't say that my autism is an obstacle at all. I am very proud to be autistic.

Sure, I might have some sensory processing problems that make things sometimes a bit too much to, well, process, but I enjoy stimming and the excitement I get from the things I’m interested in. I feel like being autistic makes me more self-reliant in a way because non-autistic people seem to be so concerned with things that just don’t bother me. I don’t get bored in the same way they do. I’m excited and passionate about the things I love in a way that non-autistic people just don’t seem to have as much. And sure, I may get frustrated or anxious when routines change but, it’s not all that bad. And overall, I’m quite happy to think and see the world in the way that I do.

The only thing that’s an obstacle is the fact that non-autistic people seem to see the world so rigid. Ironically, autistic people are seen as the “rigid” ones, when really, I think it’s non-autistic people that are far more rigid and sensitive. I’m very frustrated by the fact that this society is so obsessed with eye contact (other societies are not), so obsessed with unnecessary trivial niceties that I’m considered extremely rude if I don’t incorporate them into my everyday speech. The most frustrating part about being autistic isn’t being autistic - it’s having to deal with this society’s unwillingness to accept different means of interacting.

Still, I would not trade being autistic for anything in the world.

[Content note: Mentions of sexual abuse, abandonment, etc.]

I grew up in the South. My mother was a 18 year old runaway from an abusive home who didn’t know she was a lesbian until she was 20. She stayed with and was being taken advantage of my father who was 28 years old when I was born and was her manager at work. My mother has borderline personality disorder among several other personality disorder problems. My father probably has some form of narcissistic personality disorder but was the sort of man who was generally neglectful, thought kids should be seen and not heard, made fun of me, and would bottle his anger until you dropped a dish and then flip out on you.

I had two half brothers who sexually abused me when I was 3 years old and 7. I had a half sister who hated me. All three of them bullied me when I wasn’t being bullied at school by my peers with their encouragement. I don’t entirely blame them because their mother, my father’s ex-wife, was mad at my mother for being my father’s mistress and encouraged my half siblings to hate my mother. They threw rocks at her stomach when she was pregnant with me.

My parents were more or less neglectful, not really caring about me on a personal level. They went out a lot and left me and my half siblings with whomever would watch us. When I was 9 the left us with a male babysitter who molested me and my sister. Both of my brothers lost their tempers at certain points and tried to beat my mother up. They went to live with their mother.

When I was 12, my dad flipped out and threw my mum out of the house. She moved in with a woman she’d gone on 2 dates with. My dad left my sister and I home for ages at a time until the social services caught up with him. My mom took me from him before they could put me in foster care. My dad took my sister and moved to Kentucky.

I then lived with my mum and her girlfriend, but her girlfriend was an alcoholic who hated me and constantly picked fights with me. She started getting violent with my mother so my mother had me sleeping at someone else’s house for awhile. She was going to move to Texas, I flipped out. My mom told my dad and my dad said she was a horrible parent because she was gay and convinced him to hand me over. She did. I went to live in Kentucky.

I then lived with my dad and my stepmother. My stepmother was an abusive Christian who took away my religious effects from me (I was a Wiccan at the time) and forced me to go to church where I’d hear sermons about how I’d go to hell. She forbade me from watching, reading or having anything to do with fantasy or magic, including Harry Potter. She also forced me to take care of my two baby half brothers, her children, more than I should have. During this time my mom moved to California.

When she wasn’t grounding me for not wearing matching socks or setting me up to be punished n whatever way, she didn’t pay any attention to me. I got lice so bad it came out of my hair when I put my hand through it. I went to visit my mother in California and she basically kidnapped me and refused to let me go back to Kentucky. When I was 16, to get out of paying child support, my father disowned me. I haven’t spoken to him since.

I stayed with my mom in California for two years until university. Because of my mom’s borderline personality disorder, this wasn’t fantastic. We fought a lot. She accused me of being jealous of her new partner when I wanted to spend time with her. She moved to North Carolina during this time.

I went to uni for 4 years in Northern California. I got a lot better during that time and studied abroad in London for half a year during that. After graduating, I had no other option but to return to my mother’s home. I stayed with her and her partner in North Carolina for 2 years. It was difficult, I was closeted a lot and we, again, didn’t get along.

I moved to the UK in 2010 and did a Masters degree and then started working here. I’ve been in therapy for a good few years which has made me realise how bad my mother’s borderline personality disorder has affected me. My mother hasn’t reacted well to me slowly being less available online. She’s done everything to keep tabs on me.

I eventually sent her an email outlining several of the things she’s done that have really been messed up, including telling me I’m lying about being sexually abused, and then telling me I’m lying about that as well. My mother responds to that with things like, “I’m sorry I’m not a good enough mother for you”.

I have told my mother I cannot have a relationship with her, since we’ve not had a real relationship anyway, until she gets therapy for her mental health problems. She refuses to. So we’re at a stalemate.

I have really not had a very supportive family growing up. Only now that I have had therapy, I am coming to terms with that because for so long a lot of the stuff I went through just seemed normal.

I do have a supportive network of friends that are like family to me. Not a lot of people, but a good few. And I have a supportive and loving partner.

One day I hope to have a family of my own because I do really love kids. But that won’t be for a few years yet.

Tl;dr - My family was not very supportive.