torrentfox

It was horrible. The few people I mentioned it to were like "um, well you've got it under control, and you're a grown man, so you're okay, right?" - they don't really understand what it means to be someone else's most-loved and most-hated, or what someone will do (or threaten to do) in order to keep you a part of their life - they want to be your everything, and they do everything they can to exert power over you. I'm sure you are very familiar with how terrifying that is.

To that effect, my stalker would order candy, gifts from amazon, flowers, greeting cards, computer parts and have them sent to my dorm - I was still a student at the time. He made harassment a fulltime job. My phone rung off the hook. When I stopped acknowledging him, he contacted my friends, family. I told them to just not respond. It took months of making sure to silently ignore him before he stopped. Years later after I graduated and started a life and a job, he tried to get me fired by making an anonymous complaint to my company, saying that I offered to sell client secrets to an unnamed third party.

I haven't heard from him in two years, but I'm positive he thinks about me every day. I'm just glad it's been long enough that I don't think of him much.

To anyone being stalked, I would offer the following advice:

1. It's not your fault.
2. It's not your fault.
3. Cease communication with your stalker. Cut all ties. You don't owe them anything, not even an explanation. If you're part of a scene and have to make a temporary exit from it, do it. Your stalker is probably resourceful, so this may also mean changing your phone number. If your stalker reappears like a persistent itch through a certain communication channel, realize that the act of blocking them itself may be visible to them. If they can just make a new account, it does nothing. I recommend not using FB chat. For Pidgin, check out Privacy Please. It allows you to suppress their messages silently, which is crucial to the actively-ignore process.
4. Document everything and keep it in a safe place.
5. Exercise any and all legal and institutional recourses you can, as early as possible. If you're a student, there may be services available specifically for you.
6. Carry yourself, and keep your composure. Your stalker is looking for a reaction, and as long as they're getting one, you're at risk. There is a reason they call the behavior predatory, and you need to avoid acting in the prey role. This applies double if you're a man, since people will not naturally come to your aid or even necessarily recognize what's happening as a real problem (see #8 below). NOTE: This does not mean returning threats, or displaying force or means. Your stalker doesn't view you as a peer, and this will be seen as a challenge to their (self-perceived) authority over you. You've already cut off contact, right?
7. Protect yourself: Put yourself in your stalker's shoes and find all information you can about yourself on the internet. Change all your passwords. Trim your social media / communication service friends lists of anyone you don't remember or recognize. Remove as much unnecessary personal information from the net as you can. Get good locks for your doors. If you can, become competent with a weapon, and carry it with you, but be aware of state/local/campus/work law and policy.
8. Find one good friend and ask them if they will support you through this time. Have a huddle with them every once in a while and talk things out. You'd be surprised what isn't obvious to you that can be plain as day to the friend.

And lastly... I want to stress that it can happen to anyone. It can happen to any gender. A stalker can be of any age, any gender, any background. It's a one-sided kevlar chinese finger trap that you don't even realize you're in until you're stuck, and it takes a lot of effort to get out. So don't be stupid like I was and do it alone.

Edit: Accidentally some words

You did what I could not. Congrats!

My stalker was from a different country though, but given your experience I'm sure you understand how easy harassment is simply with an internet connection. I'm glad he never made it onshore.

Did your stalker do the alternating idolize / demonize thing? Did she ever send you any gifts?

MGMBill is an attempt to make male genital mutilation a federal crime - in the same way that cutting girls has been since 1994. That law is unconstitutional due to the equal protection clause of the 14th amendment, because it only protects girls.

So then Ronald may have more appropriately said 'do not rely on experts with conflicts on interest'?

What was your IRC nick back in the good old days?