toferdelachris
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toferdelachris45 karma
I took some acting classes in college
Has to be the best part of this whole AMA
toferdelachris20 karma
Ok, I'll bite: You can't just throw out such provocation without elaboration! Why are you alive because of nukes?
toferdelachris74 karma
no, yo, this is perfect.
Cherry Poppins comes into some posh London kids' life as a nanny, carried on a blustery wind via an umbrella that has a hidden dildo in it, then she pops his cherry, as her name implies.
BERT SQUIRT is a cockney chimney sweep, one-man band, and former male escort. He introduces the audience to Cherry Tree Lane [swear to god that's the name of the street from the actual movie] where the WANKS house is.
MICHAEL WANKS is the son of a wealthy banker and a suffragette. His parents are worried about their son, because he's constantly fucking wanking all the time.
So Mr. and Mrs. WANKS get the idea to hire a Milfy female escort to help their son lose his virginity and learn about the wonders of non-solo sex. They tell Michael about this, and he writes his list of attributes for "The Perfect Escort." This list is torn up and thrown in the fireplace, but through some magical means, this list floats up into the sky and somehow inexplicably lands at the local newspaper's office, where it is put in the Classifieds.
By that afternoon a line of ladies has formed at the WANKS' door, none of which simultaneously fulfills all of MICHAEL WANKS' fantasies.
In floats CHERRY POPPINS, a mystical escort who has a magical endless bag full of sex toys. She flies in on her aforementioned magical umbrella with hidden dildo attachment. While Mr. and Mrs. WANKS are inside, trying to figure out how the letter got in the paper, and what to do about all these ladies outside, CHERRY POPPINS instigates a giant lesbian sex orgy with all of the ladies, right in the middle of the road on Cherry Tree Lane. [detailed choreography TBD]
Mr. and Mrs. WANKS, seeing how adept CHERRY is in the nuances of carnal knowledge, immediately offer CHERRY POPPINS the job.
CHERRY POPPINS introduces the family to the wonders of a live-in female escort for their son, as CHERRY and MICHAEL go off on adventures throughout London, all of which end in various sex acts at various London landmarks.
One of these situations causes some strife, when MICHAEL is introduced to BERT. MICHAEL and CHERRY come across BERT while he is drawing lewd pictures in chalk on the ground for all the Londoners to see. The three get to talking, one thing leads to another, and the three are going at it in a gazebo in Hyde Park. MICHAEL quickly realizes, as he and BERT are eiffel-towering CHERRY POPPINS that BERT and CHERRY have some real unresolved issues, which hints at a past relationship that the audience is never privy to [prequel potential!].
The musical numbers practically write themselves:
Oh god I should have written this on an alt account. Tell my wife and children I love them very much.
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