theternal_phoenix

Since you mention an intriguing phrase - compassion fatigue - how do we handle or deal with friends/colleagues/relatives who are only too happy to go on and on about their stuff without letting you talk about your own stuff?

I think most would know people like these in their life and would agree that it's not always feasible to just "cut things off" with them.

Thank you for answering!

And again, you've mentioned something super intriguing: "repeating patterns in relationships with people we have known for a long time."

I have had friends who just won't let go of what happened or what I used to do/be several years ago. Hard to tell if it is out of spite or their inability to let go of the past or what else. Should one move on/get past such people? Is there hope to make them move past these repeating patterns?

Thank you for taking the time to respond with a thoughtful answer. Short vent follows.

I made a mistake by staying in my comfort zone and sticking with the two friends I had for a long time. I felt the direst consequently this year when at my lowest point, the very friends abandoned me, citing hurts from years, even decades past and haven't spoken in months.

You're right that it's a recipe for disappointment to expect others to change. Moreover, it gets progressively harder to make good friends in life - atleast that's been my experience - you're left with less time as you get into your 30s : you cant really rush closeness or real connection. With more and more people finding a partner or starting a family you eventually turn into a bit of an outcast...

I've benefitted from therapy as well - had to stop since I was moving countries, but perhaps it's time to restart it.