the-alchemist

Wow, it just hit me that we have a lot in common, but I wasn't adopted. Allow me to explain.

I was born in Poland, but my parents left for the United States shortly thereafter. I lived with my grandparents in Poland until age seven, when my parents finally could afford to fly me over to the U.S. to see them.

So, here's what we kind of have in common, based on your responses (or my interpretations of your responses, so I apologize if I'm off-base):

• I don't remember my parents before age 7. It was basically these strangers that showed up at the airport, picked me up, and took me home. "There's your father", my mom said, and I remember thinking, "Who is that guy?" and feeling scared.

• I still have trust issues, anxiety, and PTSD. I was treated pretty crappy, too: verbal, psychological, and physical abuse. The beatings were pretty severe, and it was for stupid shit like not getting high enough grades. This one time, the beatings were so bad my parents wouldn't let me go to school for three weeks because of the bruises. Still don't trust people, although sometimes I just crave attention and care and so I end up trusting the wrong people.

• Food issues. I didn't worry for lack of food but I had problems eating because I couldn't eat the food here; I would just vomit. I couldn't eat cereal with milk, because I would vomit the milk. The doctors said it was kind of typical for immigrant kids, but I'm sure it was stress-related too.

• Medical issues. I didn't have cockroaches in my ear like you, but my grandparents in Poland didn't take me to a dentist or something, because my teeth were rotting (I had puss coming out from under my gums) and I needed to have three molars pulled out. Let's just say, I still hate going to the dentist. ;)

• I learned English pretty quickly too. Within a year, I was fluent. Kids learn fast!

The good news is that I'm now happily married, with a kid on the way. I have a successful career, and I've figured out a lot of my mental issues with medication, meditation, exercise, and therapy.

Not that I'm one to give advice, but it gets better, I swear!

I just want to say thanks too, for making me realize that I have a lot in common with adopted kids. I had no idea...

I'm in the good ol' USA, so I can't help directly, but what can I do to help out refugees in Germany and elsewhere? Any specific charity that you saw that helped you personally or did a great job?