tafun105

Thanks for doing this AMA, just what I have been wanting to talk about. I am an older straight guy and a virgin. Here are my questions:

1) I can't seem to imagine having sex with someone I am not physically attracted to. Do I have a problem?
The reason I ask this is because I see a majority of my friends on the opposite end of the spectrum and would be willing to have sex with anyone and everyone.

2) Can sexual attraction be built over time even if there is no attraction at all in the beginning? Even if I get to know someone and like them as a person, the physical attraction doesn't seem to come with time.

3) I seem to be physically attracted to people outside my race in general which makes dating a lot harder for me. Is this normal or I am asexual or something?

I am almost invariably always left feeling different from them and as I mentioned in my next answer I have a lone wolf type of personality.

I appreciate you taking time to give me detailed replies :)

I don't think I am starting with indifference but I definitely think there is indifference involved when I am not initially physically attracted to someone. I tend to feel that if I am not initially physically attracted then I won't ever be. I don't know if this is true but I am basing my judgment based on my past experience. A couple of my close friends who were girls had feelings for me. I really cared for both of them as friends and still do and would go to any extent to help them out but I just couldn't develop any sexual feelings towards either of them. Having said all that do you think there is value in exploring this area (as in entering a relationship without any physical attraction and see how things build up) ?

As far as indifference to almost everyone is concerned I do feel like most people don't give a shit about me so I should do the same to them. I'm the quiet, reserved, shy type and never had many friends. Most of the times I was passed over in groups, what I mean is everyone got invited to the party and I was left out. This has kind of made me into having a lone wolf type of personality.

There are definitely a few structural limitations. Like parents saying that there will be such and such issues upon entering an interracial relationship. Population too in general seems to have strong stereotypes associated with my ethnicity. And then I think that even I get into one I don't know how hard the cultural barrier would be to overcome.

There is definitely lack of self trust but I am not sure where it stems from. I like to work out and do so regularly even though it doesn't reflect on my body since I'm very skinny and have restricted diet due to health issues.

Thanks for your insights again.