skylarparker

21 days ago, I gave birth to my son at 39 weeks. We had 11 hours with him before he passed. He had Osteogenesis Imperfecta Type II, the lethal variant of what is better known as Brittle Bone disease.

My husband doesn’t show a whole lot of emotion, but he is absolutely wrecked by this. What helped you move on? How can I help him? He’s been my rock but I feel like I’m slowly wearing him down with my own sadness.

Thanks for responding. We actually do have an appointment on Thursday to start therapy. It’s something we’ve been talking about since we found out the baby had OI, but we kept putting off until yesterday.

Thank you, I just bought it.

All of this. 6 days after losing my son, I had to see my OB for an incision check. She almost immediately asked us when we wanted to try again and how she recommended waiting 6 months. We were both taken aback and I couldn’t even find the words. My husband eventually said something about being gun shy or whatever. It’s going to be a while. As much as I want nothing more than to have a child, it’s hard to even fathom going through an entire pregnancy again and feeling okay. I’m going to always be waiting for something bad to happen because that’s how our first experience went.

As for the religious shit, someone at my son’s funeral had the audacity to say that god has a plan to us. Fuck that. You think that a magic sky man was like, yeah I’m just going to fuck these people over. I’ll just completely wreck their lives because it’s important for the “plan.” In what world does that make sense and why would it make anyone feel better?

As someone who lost their child earlier this month, I would give anything for all of the “nightmare” parts of parenting over the vacation that we have now planned with the money we won’t be using for our child. You may not want children, and that’s fine. I carried my son for 39 weeks. That was months of knowing of his existence and becoming attached to him. To naming him and preparing for him. We learned halfway through the pregnancy that he would either die or be severely physically disabled and we still loved him and prepared to give him whatever he would need. It would have been a major financial burden, sure. But we would have still had our son.