sixtyfifthbit

I wish she had answered this - I too was and am still ostracized, even into my forties. I was neglected and abused by nearly everyone during my childhood (I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD and may have an attachment disorder) and face violence from strangers at least once a week due to the ostracism.

I have actively worked on developing better social skills for twenty years, but I've long ago reached the point where solo study works - but other human beings refuse to interact with me in anything other that in a hostile manner.

As for the wounds? I have suffered the equivalent of having my legs ripped off. I cannot perform some basic life functions without assistance or accommodation. These wounds cannot heal - I an injured past what current psychological science can handle.

As for trust - I cannot and will not trust another human being. The human race has proved itself completely untrustworthy multiple times over. They cannot re-earn this trust in the short lifetime I have left - not to mention they are actively working to harm me in the first place.

During the many attacks I have suffered, I have incurred significant nerve damage - some of which means I cannot smile correctly. Frankly, I look like the Joker or one of his Smilex victims whenever I try. I have tried this before, and I got punched in the face as payback.

I have "detach [my] worth from how people respond to [me]", but their violence still poses a danger whenever I go out in public. Sadly, a disguise doesn't help.