shower0522

eh.. my perspective on death is pretty much its just another step in life.. is it the final step? idk... and honestly I don't care to know, I live life as much as I can since starting this job. everything is a little more beautiful, I take more time t think. ive become much more aware of my own mortality as well, I always say I love you when I leave my parents, I keep my stuff a little more tidy, I care about myself a little more, I even have a letter incase of the worst. but Im not afraid, im just prepared, I don't fear death, I fear age, when I cant enjoy life, bed bound and shitting into a bag.. you've never seen misery until you see the elderly in homes. no amount of silk flowers and perfume can mask the fear, and agony that comes with age. so, long story short I enjoy life while I can.

EDIT: OMFG......thanks for the gold kind stranger!!!!

when a patient dies, I have to go to their room, and clean their body, close their eyes, put on fresh clothes, take the tubes out, pick up the room etc. until hospice arrives, if they aren't on hospice, I just wait until the coroner arrives, and then do all of that

they all have a little piece in the back of my mind, but nothing serious, mostly part of the job, but I will say the worst ones are the ones I took care of for months then have to put in bags to be carted away, I was so close with one patient I was caring for him when he died, and was a complete basket case, literal heaving sobs, I couldn't move, but I still had to do my job and suck it up for when the family got there. I still miss him, so much, even to this day.

ABOUT TO TAKE A MILDLY CREEPY TURN: im usually there right before they die.. so sometimes im the last person they see... I kind of like that

not really, but, the worst thing is when the family shows up to their deathbed instantly fighting about who gets the deceased members money, that's happened several times before,once ending in a physical altercation between two sons.