sewingsarahelizabeth

This is so silly, but I'm actually really happy you asked that! Howl's Moving Castle. I found that movie when my health was starting to deteriorate. It gave me hope in a really dark place because in my mind, "If he could fall in love with her without having the slightest idea what she looked like as her real age, and only knew that she was cursed to be old, maybe it's possible for someone to love me for who I really am too and see past all my flaws." By far, my ultimate feel good movie.

The first time I remember it happening and knowing something was really wrong, I was in early high school. I was supposed to be getting ready for church, and we were about to leave. I was in the living room waiting for my dad. He was upset with me because I had tried to tell him I was too tired to go that day, and he thought I was just making up excuses. I felt myself starting to fall, and reached out to catch myself on the table, but even though I felt it under my hand, I wasn't able to grasp it. I was semi-conscious, but I couldn't move, couldn't open my eyes, couldn't do anything but just lay on the ground. I kept wondering where my dad was and why he wouldn't come to help me. When I finally came out of it, I saw that I had knocked one of my mom's favorite glass lamps off of the table. I was so scared that I broke it. I thought that I had fainted, but I couldn't figure out why I remembered some of it if I had fainted completely. It scared me so badly that I never even said anything to my parents. I think I just wanted the whole incident to go away.

I really don't like to sleep anymore. I'm plagued by really horrible nightmares, and I feel like all of my time is being robbed from me by sleep. I can't remember the last time I was able to stay awake for 12 hours straight like most people do.

They are usually triggered by strong emotions- anger, fear, shock, laughter, anxiety. It's worse when I'm tired though.

Sometimes someone will make me laugh so hard I collapse and can't get back up, so I end up literally rolling on the floor laughing. My friends felt really bad and tried to stop making me laugh, which just made me even more miserable, so I started giving them bonus points if they could make me laugh hard enough to cataplexy.