seasicksquid

Rock on. From a fellow sailor, fair winds!

Kinda want to piggy back on this because I have a crazy odds story too. My SO is from Zambia. I lived in South Africa for a while for school. One of my flatmates was from Zambia. Flash forward 6 years after getting home. I meet my SO living in New Orleans, hit it off, blah blah blah. Turns out, my former flatmate and my SO were best friends in high school in Zambia.

I wanted to die. I wanted to give up. I had to idea when it would all end. I pleaded for death. I remember asking if there was a God, please take my life now. The exhaustion had set in and the pain was growing thicker. But then for some reason, I started thinking about my life and how I still had so much to accomplish. So much to live for. I didn't want my life to be over. So I got back on my feet and continued hiking

I almost died in a boating accident several years ago, and I had the exact same thought process. I injured myself falling off the boat, and had been in the rough cold water for a while and couldn't see anyone. My lifejacket was too loose and not doing a good job at keeping me above the surface. I remember bargaining with God, then giving up, then saying, "Oh hell no, I want more from life!" and giving it my last ounces of energy. Shortly after a boat came up behind me and were able to scoop me out of the water.

Glad you survived. How has it changed your outlook on life now?

No. Like I said, it was adrenaline, probably along with survival instinct. I almost feel like in that moment I forgot dying was a possibility. I had to live cause it's what I do.

Still an atheist. I wasn't converted by that experience or any other.

I think it was just a comfort thing, as my mind was not totally rational in that moment. When I was growing up and would get upset and crying, even when I knew she wouldn't come (or wasn't even there), I would cry out for my mom. I didn't grow out of that habit until I was over 18 and in college, probably. I think crying out in that moment is similar to that.