scruffy01

Mythbusters seems like the dream job for me, and most people I know.

Is it as great as it appears to be?

Please draw the Curiosity Rover having a delightful conversation/beer/dinner with the other rovers on MARS.

Hey I'm a guy but I thought my experiences might help since they're very similar to yours. If you're not interested in my insight that's okay I can kindly fuck off.

I am 32. I've been in 5 serious relationships. the first 3 cheated on me (one was my wife of 7 years), the 4th ended because of my trust issues in combination with her shady behavior (I'd firmly say we were both at fault). I'm currently on #5.

1.) It's okay to take a break. I'm currently in a relationship but I didn't date for 2 years before I met her. I felt I couldn't trust again and relationships can't function without trust, so why try? I think the break, in combination with therapy, helped me out a lot.

2.) I'm just an anecdote here, but my current gf... the only reason I agreed to go out with her is because I realized I trusted her. We were friends before becoming involved. I think maybe that helped a lot. So maybe getting to know a person and trusting them on a non romantic but personal level helps if you can. I realize that isn't always easy to find.

3.) Even though I found her, I still experience issues. She's aware of my history, and knows that I struggle with this. I find it very challenging to communicate what I'm feeling without it making her feeling pressured to change what she's doing when she isn't doing anything wrong. For this reason I think people like us require someone excellent at communicating. Like if she wants to go out to a bar with coworkers I just ask for a little reassurement and maybe to shoot me a few texts throughout the night and she's more than happy to oblige. I still might experience some anxiety but it's much more manageable and I make sure she doesn't feel guilty for doing normal things just because I'm a bit fucked.

I think you're like me here so communication is going to be paramount, if you find yourself with someone who can't or isn't willing to... I think it will be extremely challenging.

4.) I know it's hard but don't give up all hope. I'm a guy, I've never cheated on anyone, I never would cheat on anyone. I think all cheaters are cowards and scum, and I'm not alone. There are good guys out there. I'm sorry you've had a shit run of luck, I know all too well how much it sucks and poisons your brain. I sincerely believe you'll find someone who will accept you and work with you.