sammargulies

Divorce lawyers are paid by the hour. The more they fight the more time they spend and the more money they make. This is the only profession in which the bigger an asshole you are the more money you make.

About 70% of divorces are initiated by wives. The most common reason is that there is a failure of communication and therefore no intimacy. They are bored and want more out of life than their insensitive husbands can offer.

I mediated a custody fight over a parrot. I also was in court once waiting for a trial to begin and both clients were in agreement over everything but a used dresser. The struggle ended when I told my client that I had a dresser ion my attic and she could have it.

The worst case use of a child in divorce proceedings is a phony accusation of child abuse. This is the nuclear bomb of divorce because it is so difficult to prove a negative and the courts choose to err on the side of conservatism. But do not assume that this is only used by women as it has frequently been used by men as well.

As for marriage being too much of a risk, I'm not quite there yet particularly for younger people who plan to have children. For older people who will not have children I am beginning to think that ther are alternatives to marriage that may make more sense.

Mediators do not represent either party. They are there to facilitate the discussions and negotiations of the couple. They make it possible for the couple to have discussions that they would otherwise be unable to have. The mediator has an ethical duty to the integrity of the process. When I mediate I am there to help all members of the family thrive. Picking a mediator is not so difficult that the couple need have a big struggle. They just keep looking until they find one they both trust.