raindrops_oceantops

I had a call not too long ago from a mom who had a young son with autism. She was talking about how much she loves him but that she was just feeling exhausted and worn down. She was crying on and off throughout our call discussing how she’s in the middle of a messy divorce case and adjusting to taking care of her son full time.

It was apparent to me that she loved her son more than anything else in the world but just needed to vent a little. At one point her son had come into the room and she immediately stopped crying and was fully present for him and his needs in that moment. It warmed my heart so much to hear and “see” what this mom was doing for her son who likely won’t appreciate or understand it until he is much older.

She went on to discuss how hard she’s been working to make sure he has a relationship with his father and that she still takes him to all his various appointments. We talked a lot about his safety and also discussed strategies for how she could simultaneously take care of herself so that she doesn’t get this far into a breakdown again.

She was so genuine and kind and truly just needed someone to hear her out. And at the end of the call she was honestly appreciative of me doing so.

1. On average calls last roughly 20 minutes. Obviously some are quite a bit shorter and others are much longer.

2. We have a number of repeat callers. Some are obvious because they tell the exact same story every time, others you can piece together based on how they’ve progressed. Many callers will ask for your name and say something along the lines of, “I think we’ve talked before, my name is _. Remember? I’m the one who _.” And if you remember them you can say so and if you don’t you can let them know it was probably someone else but you’d be happy to talk to them now anyway.

Other callers will let you know they call often and some we have to invite to call back in a few hours if they’re calling us multiple times in a short period. Obviously we want to be there to support the community but we don’t want them to become so reliant on us that they can’t function day to day without us.

Regardless, if we do recognize a caller we aren’t supposed to say anything unless they bring it up first since calls are meant to be anonymous. But there definitely are some I never hear from again that I do often wonder about!

Edit: I just remembered that there was a regular caller who I had talked to quite a few times who I suddenly stopped hearing from. It’s not that unusual, sometimes callers take a break, some callers only call at a specific day/time, some just decide they don’t want to talk to a woman. I’d say it’s probably been a couple months since I’d last heard from this caller but we recently found out he had a heart attack and passed away. I’m not sure if knowing or wondering is better. But in this case it was sad either way.

Hey! Of course they all vary but I’d say the underlying theme to 90% of the calls are loneliness and social isolation. Regardless of what the main issue is the caller wants to talk about, they are usually calling us because they feel they can’t talk about that issue with anyone else in their life. So even if they have an abundance of friends and family, they don’t feel close enough to disclose those particular thoughts or feelings.

Hey! Our line is 24/7 thankfully, and there are a number of other local lines that are too!

We get calls from those in the middle of a panic attack often so I would encourage you to call if you feel like it would help you! For me, I haven’t encountered a caller yet who wasn’t able to calm down while on the phone with me (not saying that I can help everyone I just haven’t had an instance of this yet).

I had a caller recently who said she was having a panic attack for the first time and it took quite a while for her to calm down. But I was able to stay on the line with her for the duration of her panic and talked to her for a few minutes afterwards as well. I think the main thing to remember in a panic attack is that you know it will pass because you’ve dealt with them before. I know firsthand that they can feel like the world is collapsing in, but trying to keep that in mind helps a little.

Each caller is different so even though we have tools in our mind for what might help, we always ask the caller what has worked for them in the past first! It sounds like you’ve done a great job at building up your resource tool belt and are able to manage your symptoms on your own most of the time. The crisis line is another tool you can turn to if you ever need it and as I said before, I’d encourage you to do so in the future. :)

We get that a lot!! It really breaks my heart in all honesty. I can’t count the number of times a caller has said something along the lines of, “this isn’t exactly a crisis”, “I’m not going to kill myself but if someone else is I don’t want to bother you”, “are there lots of other people trying to get through right now?”, “I know this isn’t a real problem”, etc. etc.

I think there are two big misconceptions when it comes to crisis lines. a) you can’t call unless you’re actively an imminent suicide risk, and b) if you do mention suicide we’re going to immediately send the police/ambulance to apprehend you. Both of which, are untrue.

I’d encourage you to call the next time you’re feeling lonely! That is exactly the kind of thing we are there for.