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purrpurr6265651 karma

For those downvoting, is there absolutely no truth to this? Doesn't a culture of silence regarding sex and sexuality contribute a society in which people can manipulate and abuse young children without any consequences?

I do not really believe that repression literally breeds pedophilia, as studies around the priesthood can confirm, but actual 'silence' around these topics, an inability to discuss sexual issues, could contribute, I would imagine.

It's not at all surprising to me that this kind of behavior is prevalent among figures that hold a significant amount of power (i.e. police & warlords).

purrpurr6265618 karma

I don't know how to help you realize that suicide is not the response here. Maybe google people who have it worse or something? Yes, this is bad. But you will figure it out. Work in a coffee shop if you have to!

Most important: tell........fiancee. The response below by Balthanos is key. For all you know, she will be there every step of the way.

purrpurr6265612 karma

Realistically, how can you clean up this mess without anyone knowing? That is not resonating with me. I can think of a series situations where a spouse or SO has kept this kind of crucial information back, and one of the first criticism from the SO when they find out is "why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner?" Seriously - reconsider. SERIOUSLY.

Aside from all of that, it's just plain selfish not to tell her. You sit here and say that you KNOW she will leave you. Give her the opportunity, then, to make that decision. It's not your choice, it's hers.

purrpurr626568 karma

Uhhhh I don't know anything about gambling, but this sounds awful and I hope that you can pull it together somehow. I read the whole thing, so I had to comment...or something!

Good lord, please be honest with your fiancee. Being honest is seriously the only path to beginning to accomplish anything. Even if that means she's PISSED and walks away, at least you jump into that step right now rather than delaying the inevitable. The sooner you get the ball rolling on taking responsibility, the sooner you're able to come up with some solutions. Surely, if there are things you can to do start that process before breaking the full blown news to her, then I would take the time to do those things.

I'm assuming you can get some sort of employment while you are not able to pursue the Math program? So I guess that's my question - what were you planning to do with your life, and what kinds of employment can you obtain without a degree?

EDIT: Fiancee, not wife. My b :)

purrpurr626565 karma

That website is scary.