prematurely_bald

Warning: long response ahead.

Went through this exact experience several years ago. From months in hospital, then bed, then home shut-in, over several years.

In addition to dealing with a debilitating illness, I felt as though my personality was changing. How and why could a long-term illness affect that? I was no longer the confident, outgoing, fun athletic guy people remembered. I was angry, sad, or just empty inside much of the time. Intense sensations of hopelessness and despair came in waves. They were very physical as well as mental & emotional sensations.

When I was physically strong enough to reintegrate into society, I found it nearly as difficult and challenging as dealing with the initial disease. Family and friends were very supportive, but had no context for what I had been through. I found it difficult to relate to friends, and they to me.

I began to dread social and professional interaction, feeling I had somehow lost the ability to navigate—much less thrive in—society. As an extroverted, life-of-the-party type, I had no idea this was something that could happen. (I really have no idea what the research says on this, all I know is it happened to me.)

Thankfully, and through considerable effort and patience, my discomfort with personal interaction has faded over time. A change of scenery and career has been immensely helpful as well.

Today, I am healthy (mostly), happily married, gainfully employed, father to 4 energetic boys, and feel I have everything I ever wanted from life. I believe I’ve emerged from this ordeal as a better, more empathetic and kinder person. It is kindness, above all, that I wish to pass on to my young boys.

That was kind of a long-winded way of saying that if your experience is similar to mine, reassimilation into normal life after a protracted illness will come with many challenges, but it’s nothing you can’t handle! Best of luck luck and please feel free to AMA.

We could read it in your eyes

Do you believe DPD is conducting a smear campaign to impugn the character of Mr. Jean and perhaps sway public opinion in their favor?

I saw it too, early 90s. By that point, it no longer looked like something that would present well on camera, but I’m almost certain it was a genuine prop from the film.

You are too kind! I will always feel a connection with those who have dealt with long term debilitating illness or injury.

I was was glad to comment on the part of my ordeal that others seemed to understand or recognize the least. Yet looking back at my post above, long as it was, I somehow failed to mention one of the main thoughts that prompted my response in the first place:

The greatest mental/emotional/spiritual healing for me occurred when I stopped worrying about what was wrong with me and starting focusing on how I could help others. That shift from inward to outward focus is what finally got me over the hump, and it has stayed with me.

Rather than fretting over what I had lost, I became concerned for what I had to give. I made it my mission to try to improve the well-being of anyone around me. As I became more invested in their struggles and less in my own, I unexpectedly found myself on the path to a true holistic recovery.

I believe you’re on the right path, brother. The world desperately needs people like you. Stay strong!