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policesuck21 karma

Thanks for the reply. Pretty funny that you didn't want to be a cop...neither did my dad. I on the other hand as a kid totally wanted to be a cop just like my dad. I never did anything really bad...even now...its not like I'm selling drugs or anything like that. Maybe little stuff like stealing traffic cones and such haha. Nothing serious. But then as I got older I began to really dislike cops in general. Ones I met with my dad seemed pretty cool, but there were so many idiots too. And like I said, I have issues trying to deal with people I don't like...I just want to beat them....and these days thats hard to get away with!

Funny story you might like: My family was going on a vacation and we're driving in the city (I think to go to the bank) and our car breaks down literally right in front of the police station my dad works at. Some of my dads co-workers are outside and see us, no one offers to help. This homeless looking guy comes up to my dad and is like "hey officer, do you need a hand?" and my dad says we do. The guy calls over 2 other guys, we get out of the car with my mom and the 3 guys and my dad push the car down this main busy ass street to a garage (like a business one).

My dad later told me he had actually arrested all 3 of those guys before on different occasions, and he had physically had a fight with one of them (resisting arrest). I totally didn't understand it then, but he said something along the lines of how he always treated people fairly, and at those times those guys knew they were in the wrong and despite even having fought one, he had still been fair in the way he treated them. "Just because someone is a criminal doesn't mean they can't be good people" or something like that he said.

Its something I'll never forget....especially when all the cops didn't help us out!

policesuck10 karma

My dad is a retired police officer and he always said "there is a fine line between police officers and criminals," I think he just meant in personality traits.

He also said my brother and I were meant for a life of crime...and its very true. Unfortunately not worth the risks...but damn do we thrive when we're doing something unlawful haha.

If you didn't live in Florida I'd be like..."dad is that you?" He also does martial arts. Has a club and stuff.

So for my question: Did you find that you were attracted to criminal activity your whole life? Was it fun/exciting? And how the fuck did you put up with the kind of assholes you would have had to work with?

My dad, myself, my brother...all of us have a certain attraction to the other side of the law. However, all 3 of us absolutely want to kick the shit out of every asshole we ever meet....so it just wouldn't work. Probably for the best haha.

policesuck7 karma

So why not call insurance and ask why YOU are paying the deductible? They should be paying. Insist you want an investigation into the accident. Possibly too late now...but you can try. You should not have had to pay the deductible...and I'm wondering why that happened. You should be pissed at your insurance company too.

policesuck4 karma

As if anyone here cares enough about you to care that your disgusted by anything.....

policesuck2 karma

Thank you so much for doing this AMA! When I saw that you were on the AMA schedule I was so excited! I never even imagined I'd ever have an opportunity to talk to you, but here it is. I woke up extra early to be here as soon as you posted. I began writing this before you posted.

I'm not crazy (okay maybe I am, but I'm not like crazy obsessed or anything), its just quotes from your writing are the closest I've ever come across to reading something that describes so well how I feel. I myself find it pretty difficult to express my emotions in a manner that actually gets across the message I want to convey to people or even to myself.

I struggle with mental illness and have all my life. I'm 27 now. I expected that when I "grew up," things would be different. They aren't. I've worked my ass off to try and get "better," and improvement has been minimal at best. Spent thousands on therapy....just wasted. It didn't help.

I don't know. I'm not here to bitch though. I'm here to say thank you. Thank you for sharing your experience with the world...with me. Thank you for being there for me without ever meeting me. For giving me something I can relate to when I felt so alone. For putting words to feelings I couldn't express very well myself.

I do have a few questions.

Number 1, which I'm sure will be repeated here from others so lets just get it out of the way:

How well do you feel Prozac Nation the movie represents what you went through?

Next:

Based on recent articles, I get the impression that you are still quite depressed. Would you say that is accurate? If not, do you at least feel things have improved at all since you were younger?

I used to be terrified that I'd still feel the way I do now, at 20. I'm now 27 and terrified I'll still feel this way at 30...and I guess at this rate, I will. Then what do I hope for? That I'll feel differently at 40? Is there even any point in working towards that? Is it inevitable no matter how hard I work that I will just always be depressed? Not really a question for you. I'm more just wondering how much improvement you have experienced with age.

More:

Do you or have you often lashed out at those you love because of the internal pain you experience? Do you do this while maybe even thinking in your head how you shouldn't be doing this and yet continue to do so? I'm asking because I do...and I haven't been able to stop despite how badly I always feel. Despite the fact that the people I hurt by doing this don't deserve it at all and do nothing but love me. I find this behavior hard to properly describe and I also find it hard to find people who can even relate. I all out rage. I say crazy shit. I say what I don't mean and the whole time all I want is comfort. All I want is to stop what I feel in that moment. But its the last thing that will happen because the person I'm with will hate me. They will be hurt and in no way want to help me at all.

I don't know...I don't even know why I'm asking. I guess hoping to find someone who has been there...or even is still there, who has maybe figured out some secret to this shit that I am lost in.

Last:

What is your current stance on marijuana...and do you still smoke it? Help or hinderance in your opinion?